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Travel Canada

Sun, 09 Feb 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Canadians spend 1% of our GDP on travel to the US

Collectively, Canadians $20.5 billion on travel to the US annually, supporting 110,000 US jobs – equivalent to 1% of Canada’s GDP.

Our Prime Minster, Justin Trudeau, shared this week that Donald Trump is serious about trying to annex Canada. This will likely be a functional impossibility with how the Canadian constitution works, and how a physical invasion would be nearly impossible from a physical logistics, global politics, and American politics perspective.

But here we are, talking it about. So what can we do?

We can change how we spend our money.

Canadians are mad, not sorry

While the tariffs may be off, Canadians are very mad, and it’s America’s turn to say sorry. I don’t think words can articulate how deep the rage runs within Canadians right now. The rage that our closest friend, ally, and neighbour would not only try to destroy our economy with tariffs, but repeatedly diminish the leader of our country and our sovereignty as an independent nation.

The rage has to go somewhere, so I wanted to give you my pitch for travelling within Canada this year, and keeping those tourism dollars in the Canadian economy.

If you want to hit America where it hurts, the economy, here is my advice:

Cancel your vacations to the US (yes. this includes Hawaii)
Spend your money on vacations in Canada
If you work in marketing for a Canadian company, move your annual conference to Canada – make Americans come spend money here
Stop shopping in the US: it’s the #1 tourist activity for Canadians visiting the US

From Far and Wide, Oh Canada

I’ve spent much of my life exploring other countries – international travel sounds very glamorous – but there’s so much to see here at home. Our country is big, beautiful, and diverse.

Last September, I did something I’ve always wanted to do: I drove across Canada in an electric pick-up truck! (A Rivian R1T). It took me 5 days to drive across Ontario: Canada is gigantic, it is over 5,000km across.

Here was my route:

Kitchener, Ontario (near Toronto)
Bruce Peninsula National Park, Ontario
Lake Superior Provincial Park, Ontario
Rainbow Falls Provincial Park, Ontario
Rushing River Provincial Park, Ontario
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Riding Mountain National Park, Manitoba
Regina and Moosejaw, Saskatchewan
Grasslands National Park, Saskatchewan
Drumheller, Alberta
Banff National Park, Alberta
Kelowna, British Columbia
Lake Okanagan South Provincial Park, British Columbia
Nanaimo, British Columbia
Victoria, British Columbia

I then drove through the US National Parks on the way back, but we’ll pretend that never happened. When I got back to Ontario, I returned through cities:

Kitchener, Ontario
Ottawa, Ontario
Montreal, Quebec
Quebec City, Quebec
Fredericton, New Brunswick
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Annapolis Valley, Nova Scotia

While many people think of Canadian travel as the big cities (Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa) or the big parks on the West coast (Banff, Whistler), there is so much more to see.

My favourite places were the unexpected ones in rural areas – Rainbow Falls, Riding Mountain, and Grasslands were my favourite parks. Drumheller was a crazy dinosaur town filled with dinosaur statues and hoo-doos. Vancouver Island is just stunning and there is no place like it.

Montreal is my favourite city in Canada. Fredericton is a beautiful historic city, and Halifax is a much bigger metropolitan city than you expect.

I’m going to discuss the provinces east-to-west across the country, as the Maritimes are often forgotten for Canadian travel, yet are some of the most beautiful places in the entire world. This is not a complete list or a set of recommendations.

Please share your favourite places in Canada in the comments!

Newfoundland and Labrador

I went to Newfoundland in highschool for a leadership program. We hiked Mount Gros Morne, kayaked beside whales, and went to St. John’s to see icebergs floating by in the ocean. I don’t have photos of this, it was 21 years ago, but I remember it so vividly for how beautiful it was. St. John’s has George St., which is a giant pub crawl. And of course, Screech.

My friend Larysa recently took her family to Newfoundland and says: Gros Morne National Park: western brook pond tour. Canadian fjords. Amazing hiking. Twillinggate for whale watching. Icebergs depending on time of year. Cool little museum. Bonavista lighthouse, puffins, and maybe my fav hike of the east coast was the Skerwink Trail. St Johns for all the music and fun. Eat at the Noon & Canery and Gypsy Tea room

And if you’re bougie, there is always Fogo Island.

*Photo credit: Larysa Wood*

Prince Edward Island (PEI)

I haven’t been to PEI, it’s a goal of mine this summer. Most people know of PEI from Anne of Green Gables, and it’s iconic red sand beaches. My friend Michelle recently took her family there and raved about it. They stayed at BlackBush Beach Resort and raved about The Table Culinary Studio.

My friend Kayleen says: In the winter months be prepared to stay on Charlottetown as most attractions are for the summer, but there is so much to enjoy in town. there is the Gahan House (brewery and restaurant, you can see the original brewery in the basement), Anne of Green Gables, and you can walk the main roads to the Brighton lighthouse In the Summer, rent a car and drive the whole island or to New Brunswick across the massive bridge. Try Cavendish and see the red soil.

My friend Sybil says: “I go in August, I just spend my entire time on the beach. When the tide goes out and the tiny water level is a mirror scape.”

*Photo credit: Sybil O’Connor*

Nova Scotia

I recently moved to Nova Scotia, falling in love with how beautiful the landscape is and how kind the people are. I’ve been so struck with how wrong my assumptions about Nova Scotia have been. I now living in the Annapolis Valley region, 45 minutes from Halifax, and I’ve never been surrounded by better people, food, farming, views, activities, wineries, and more.

I live in Windsor, Nova Scotia – a town with 3,000 people and I have more fun here than I did in a city of 750,000 people. Last night I went to a sold out drag bingo show in a town of 3,000 people. 400 people came!** It’s incredibly welcoming and inclusive here.

The bakery here in Windsor, Bedard, challenges the best bakeries I’ve been to in Montreal for quality. (Arch & Po in Annapolis Royal is also excellent).

*Cape Forchu in Yarmouth, Nova Scotia*

*Lunenburg, a UNESCO World Heritage site*

*Historic Annapolis Royal*

I’m going to do a full pitch for Nova Scotia soon. The more I learn the more amazed I am at how much there is to see and do here, and I believe this to be true for all of Atlantic Canada.

But for your online research, here are some places to look up:

Halifax is the main city, with a ton of great food and entertainment options. Halifax has everything any big city has to offer, plus the ocean.
South Shore is the main tourist attraction: Peggy’s Cove, Mahone Bay, and Lunenburg
Just west of Halifax is some of the best surfing in Canada at Cow Bay
The Annapolis Valley (“The Valley”) is the most beautiful area to me: rolling hills, forests, ocean, farm fields, and small towns bursting with personality. There are over 20 wineries (that make excellent white wine), beer and cider breweries, farm-to-table restaurants like Bessie North House and Le Caveau, and tons of entertainment options. A few weeks ago I went to Salt Air Nordic Spa in Baxter’s Harbour and it’s the best Nordic spa I have ever been to – anywhere. Everywhere you look you have views of the ocean.
Cape Breton Island is the large, Eastern half of Nova Scotia. I haven’t been there yet, but it is world famous for the Cabot Trail, which my friends drove last year and said was absolutely stunning – rolling cliffs of trees in beautiful Fall colours. My hope is to visit this year.
Sable Island is a remote National Park in the Atlantic Ocean with stunning views and nature

*The view from an Airbnb I stayed at last Spring in Chester, on the South Shore of Nova Scotia.*

*Lunenburg being cute*

*A small portion of The Annapolis Valley as viewed from The Lookoff*

*A local art show in Bear River, Nova Scotia. There is a huge art culture here.*

New Brunswick

I haven’t spent much time in New Brunswick yet, only driven through it.

From my friend Kayleen: Saint John New Brunswick has an amazing market for veggies, seafood, and the occasional souvenir. St Andrews by the Bay is a quaint welcoming town on the Bay with a beautiful view and the Algonquin is a well known landmark as a vintage hotel/good course. Rothesay is beautiful. Walking along the road but be ready for some hills. Try out Pomodori Pizza Rothesay one of the best pizzas I've had. We ate there twice! Shadow lawn in is also a nice B&B.

From my friend KJ: I would recommend looking at Saint Andrews by the Sea. They have a lot of historic monuments, that are pretty cool to look at. I would also look into Fort Lewisburg, they did a restoration project in the early 2000s. Obviously, the valley. When I travel, I am big history, buff, so I like to connect to the historical side of things.

New Brunswick has three main centres: St. John, Fredericton, and Moncton, all within close driving distance of each other.

*Photo credit: Kayleen Hamelin*

Québec

If you want to feel like you’ve gone to Europe, go to Quebec. Montreal and Quebec City are extraordinarily magical places. In general, you can get by with English in Montreal, but brush up on your French for Quebec City.

There are many beautiful small towns, like Saint-Jean-Port-Joli. You can go skiing in Tremblant. You can spend the summer in the amazing Quebec and Canadian National Parks, such as La Maurice and Gaspésie. There are hidden gems like The Magdalen Islands.

Quebec is geographically huge and culturally fantastic and worth exploring.

Here is a guide I previously wrote about Montreal (and a bit of Toronto, Ontario):

*Want to feel like you’re in Europe? Head to Montreal*

# Ontario

I spent 38 years of my life in Ontario. Ontario has so much stuff. It’s gigantic. Take your pick.

Head to Toronto for New York vibes
Prince Edward County or Niagara on the Lake for Napa vibes (Restaurant Pearl Morissette and RPM Bakehouse are world-class)
Niagara Falls for Vegas vibes
Ottawa for Washington, DC vibes
Any of the National or Provincial parks, from Alongquin for back-country camping to The Pinery for beaches to Bruce Peninsula for clear blue waters near historic Tobermory
Any of the beach towns along Lake Huron and Georgian Bay
Northern Ontario – once you pass Sault St Marie and into Thunder Bay – is unlike any other part of Canada. It’s this rugged, mountainous area that is so incredibly beautiful. I stayed in an off-grid cabin in Thunder Bay, near Sleeping Giant Provincial Park a couple of years ago.

Here is a guide I previously wrote about Kitchener, where I was born and spent the first 38 years of my life:

*The Elora Christmas Market, Elora, Ontario*

*Sunrise at Niagara Falls, view from my hotel*

*The drive to Thunder Bay, Ontario in the Fall*

*Lake Superior Provincial Park – this was the view from my campsite*

*Sleeping Giant as seen from the Terry Fox Memorial*

# Manitoba

In Manitoba I went to Winnipeg to meet my friend Nina, who owns HutK, one of the best home furnishing stores in Canada. We went next door to Yujiro Sushi, one of Canada’s 100 Best Restaurants (a great list to build itinerary around).

From there I went to Riding Mountain National Park, which was a stunningly beautiful place I want to explore more of.

*Riding Mountain National Park in the Fall*

# Saskatchewan

A preview clip of my YouTube video that I will one day maybe publish when I have free time to edit videos.

When I told people I was driving across the country, everyone complained about how long and flat Saskatchewan was – and I didn’t have that experience. I think this is a virtue of “you only see what you expect to see.” If you see Saskatchewan as a path between Alberta and Ontario, you are going to see it as a road.

I went to Grasslands Provincial Park, 200km south of Moosejaw. It’s a Dark Sky Park. They have cabins you can (and should) rent. Grasslands is stunning day and night. You can go horseback riding, hiking, and look at the stars.

*Yes, it really looks like this in real life*

# Alberta

I had meant to stay in Dinosaur Provincial Park, but do to some scheduling changes I had to move my camping stop and couldn’t get another reservation. It’s popular and looks beautiful. I pivoted my stop to Drumheller, Alberta – Canada’s dinosaur capital. I was stunned walking around, as there is dinosaur statue after dinosaur statue after dinosaur statue. There’s a dinosaur museum (sold out the day I was there, plan ahead!) The landscape is rugged hoodoos jutting out of the earth.

I then went to Banff, Alberta. Banff, and nearby Lake Louise, are some of the most popular tourist destinations in Canada. Banff is beautiful, set in between mountains on all sides and bursting with wildlife. I stayed in the Banff National Park campground and you can walk into the town of Banff. I missed Lake Louise as it was snowing for the first time of the year when I left Banff.

Near Banff is the town of Canmore, a now tourist destination set with the mountains in the background. Of course, there is also Calgary (and the Calgary Stampede), Edmonton, and a slew of small towns to explore.

*Drumheller has a surreal amount of dinosaur statues and a dinosaur museum*

*The town of Banff, next to Banff National Park, is a beautiful place to stay in the mountains*

The view from the Banff Sulphur Springs

British Columbia

While many people think of Vancouver first, British Columbia is a huge and diverse province. During my roadtrip, I drove through the mountains from Alberta to the coast, stopping in Kelowna to see a friend, then camping at Lake Okanagan in the middle of the mountain ranges. Kelowna and Lake Okanagan are in a stunning landscape that feels somewhere completely different than the rest of Canada, very Californian. The mountain drive is intense on both sides, particularly the Coquihalla highway.

I drove through Vancouver and took the ferry to Nanaimo (specifically to make Nanaimo Bars on video, yes) on Vancouver Island. I wish I would have spent more time on the island – driving through it was stunning. My friend Jacqui tells me I need to go to Tofino (“It is where my heart lives, Marko.”). Victoria was my last stop on the west coast of Canada and it was very cute.

From Jacqui: “Tofino is magic, I don’t know how else to describe it. Like fairies and mermaids and magic. And rainbows and butterflies and fresh salt air. And white sand and big trees and rainforests. And beautiful book stores and yummy coffee. And fresh seafood. And artists and art everywhere.”

Previously I’d been to Whistler for a conference. Many people think of Whistler for skiing, but it was stunningly beautiful to take the gondola to the top of the mountain and go for hikes along the beautiful views.

*Lake Okanagan South Campground*

*Me, 10 years ago, at a conference in Whistler during the summer.*

*Whistler, British Columbia, in the summer*

*Victoria, British Columbia*

The True North, Strong and Free: Canada’s Territories

Canada also has 3 northern territories – I have not been to them, but my friends have. The Yukon, The Northwest Territories, and Nunavut. My friend lives in Yellowknife, NWT and shared the following:

The ‘Territory,’ as locals call it, is pure Canada: north, bitterly cold for 6 months of the year & immensely vast. Think Canadian Shield, trees, lakes, waterfalls and landscapes for as far as the eye can see. But don’t don’t forget it’s also full of kind, adventurous and resourceful Canadians - spread across 33-ish communities that dot its landscape. The largest community and the capital is Yellowknife, which is accessible via plane and car (only a short 15 hrs north from Edmonton).

Activities here are heavily season dependent. If you’re coming in the Winter (November-April), you can enjoy so many uniquely Canadian experiences (assuming you’ve got a parka and some warm boots). Imagine seeing the…

Northern lights. Yellowknife’s very clear skies give you the highest probability to see the Northern Lights in North America (and possibly the whole world). They are best seen Feb-May and Sept-October.
Winter activity paradise. Cross country ski across frozen lakes, snowshoe, skijor, sled dog, snowmobile.
March is all about the Snowking Ice Castle winter festival. Yes there’s a ice castle built on-top of Great Slave Lake, and yes there are comedy, music and movie nights hosted on many nights. Oh also, there’s ice slides - they are seriously slippy!
There is a ~10 km long ice road connecting Yellowknife to the nearby community of N’Dilo. Take a car, take a walk, or do both!
Get some freshly caught fish & chips at the famous Bullocks Restaurant. The vibe & aesthetic give the best hipster brunch spot anywhere in Canada a run for its money. There’s also the Woodyard & NWT Brewing Co. too with locally made beer & gin.

The summer has so much to offer as well. Imagine the best camping, canoeing, fishing, boating you can do in Canada but add the midnight sun and subtract any traffic or stress. Oh also, don’t sleep on Folk on the Rocks - it’s a very unique festival held just on the outskirts of Yellowknife every summer.

*Photo credit: Sam Legge*

With Glowing Hearts

To make your travel plan, figure out what you love and work backwards to your plans in Canada. Canada has nearly everything to experience.

If you love theatre, head to Stratford, Ontario for the Stratford festival and build the rest of your trip around that.
If you love food, work backwards from the Top 100 Restaurants list or find a farm-to-table region like Annapolis Valley, Nova Scotia.
If you love history, head to Ottawa, St. Andrews By The Sea, or Annapolis Royal.
If you love the beach, take your pick of coasts – surf in Tofino, BC or Cow Bay, NS. Rent a cottage in Tobermory, Ontario. Tan on the red sand beaches of PEI.
If you love camping and hiking, head to any Canadian National or Provincial park. I’m heading to Cape Split in Nova Scotia this summer.
If you love city life, head to Toronto, Montreal, or Vancouver. At a smaller scale, Halifax, Winnipeg, Kitchener, Ottawa, Calgary, St. John, or St. John’s.
If you love a grand adventure, take the train to the Yukon or drive to Yellowknife and see the northern lights. Drive the Cabot Trail on Cape Breton Island. Head to the Magdalen Islands or Fogo Island. Drive through the mountain ranges of British Columbia.
If you love to go skiing or snowboarding (or just sitting by a fire), head to Whistler or Tremblant or Collingwood (or Wentworth in Nova Scotia).
If you want historic Christmas magic, head to Quebec City, or cute small towns like Elora.

My list is not complete. It’s biased based on my own life experiences and limited experiences through this big beautiful country.

Canada has something for everyone, every time of the year. Summers here are hot, Fall and Winter are stunningly beautiful in every province and territory.

It’s time for Canadians to discover what’s in our own backyard.

– Marko

Buy Canadian. Bye American.

Sun, 02 Feb 2025 12:00:00 +0000

I am an advocate for buying Canadian at most times, but we are entering into an economic war with the United States, a war where the leader of the United States Government has publicly stated his goal is to annex our country.

It’s unacceptable.

I’m sad we are here. I’m proud that our country standing up for itself. I’m proud of how Trudeau framed this challenge. It’s going to get very hard economically.

Buying American at this stage means supporting a war against our own sovereignty as a nation. It sounds crazy to write down, but it’s been a crazy 12 days.

Pivoting how you spend money is expensive, time consuming, and annoying – you’re going to have to learn to cook very differently, very soon.

But it’s up to us to help our economy, especially if you are affluent. I’ve been buying Canadian for years. Here’s my advice.

Understand Made in Canada terminology

Corporations like to use marketing to confuse consumers. This will get worse in the coming weeks, and then it will quickly become clear what is actually made in Canada when counter-tariffs go into place.

You’ll hear things like “Canadian Owned” or “Proudly Canadian.” These words are bullshit, legally speaking.

The core phrases that are regulated are:

Product of Canada
Made in Canada

When shopping, one of these words will be on the product listing, packaging, or tag.

Do not trust the website that generically say “Proudly Canadian or “Canadian Heritage.” This is just branding and legally meaningless.

You need to look at each and every product you are buying.

For example, Reigning Champ used to be a premium, Canadian-made menswear brand. Aritizia (Canadian-owned) purchased them in 2021 and over the last few years then outsourced all manufacturing from British Columbia to Vietnam (while increasing prices). They did this slowly over their product lines, and now they no longer make products in Canada.

Stanfields is a well-known Canadian underwear brand, but only two of their mens products are made in Canada and the rest of their products are made in China.

You have to look at the tags in person, or the product listings online. If it’s made in Canada they will tell you loudly.

100% Canadian

100% of materials and labour are from Canada.

Product of Canada

98% of materials are Canadian sourced and Canadian manufactured.

A t-shirt is sewn in Canada and made with Canadian grown cotton that’s milled in Canada.
Ketchup is made with Canadian grown tomatoes and manufactured in a Canadian facility.

Made in Canada

51% of the direct costs of manufacture were in Canada. Components of the product are Canadian but it includes imported materials. It’s manufactured in Canada.

A t-shirt is sewn in Canada with American grown cotton that’s milled in Canada.
Hummus is made and packaged in Canada with imported ingredients.

Crafted in Canada / Assembled in Canada / Packaged in Canada / {Activity} In Canada

< 51% of the direct costs of manufacturing were in Canada, but some portion of processing was completed domestically.

A t-shirt is sewn in Canada with Malaysian cotton milled in Switzerland.
A car is assembled in Canada with Taiwanese chips and American components.
Protein powder is put into a plastic tub in Canada with the powder created elsewhere in the world.

“Designed in Canada”

This is not a regulated term. This is a very misleading term, it means the business headquarters is in Canada but the vast majority of employees are outside Canada, typically in Asia or Eastern Europe. You could have 2 employees in Canada and 100 in other countries.

There’s a small Canadian brand (I won’t name) that does this. They went so far as to write “Sustainable packaging 100% Made in Canada” on their product listing because the cardboard boxes they ship plates in are made in Canada. The plates themselves are not.

Be careful of snake oil salespeople during this time of patriotism.

“An Iconic Canadian Brand”

This is a very misleading view of the world:

Tim Horton’s is a Canadian icon that is owned by a Brazilian multinational.
Sleeman Breweries is owned by a Japanese multinational.
Labatt Brewing is owned by a Belgian multinational.

None of the money spent at these brands stays in Canada. We need to stop selling off Canadian wealth, but that’s a separate story.

If you buy coffee at a small coffee shop (or Second Cup) that money stays in Canada. If you buy Tim Horton’s it does not.

Imported – Not made in Canada, usually made in China if they do not list the country of origin.

Small Makers – Small makers, at farmers markets and craft fairs, often cannot legally make claims due to regulations. Ask them. If you’re at a farmers market, ask if they are a grower or a reseller. Being a small business is hard, I know this personally – help them survive this.

Move your online dollars

Subscribe to CBC Gem and Crave instead of Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney+ and Apple TV+
Hold off on buying a new phone or computer
Cancel Meta – Meta has proactively allowed hate speech policies against LGBTQ people
Stop using Amazon Prime and go shop at a locally owned store even though its much more work – Amazon also removed their LGBTQ worker protections and equity for Black people; they pulled out of Quebec to stop a union

Stop subscribing to American-owned Canadian news sources

Post Media, 66% of which is owned by an American private equity firm, has purchased the majority of Canadian news sites including:

The National Post
The Financial Post
The Toronto Sun
Almost every single local newspaper / publisher, list here

Cancel your subscriptions to American-owned Canadian news. Focus on CBC News, or the Bell/Telus/Rogers owned media properties.

You might say “Oh no, our local paper will go away!” It’s already gone away, they just regurgitate what headquarters pushes onto their websites. Start a community paper.

This is going to get very expensive: stop shopping at the big box stores to save money

Big box stores are convenient, they are also a rip-off.

Produce and meat are likely going to go up 25% in price
Learn to make delicious, cost effective meals with produce we grow locally – try my Ugly Vegetable Winter recipes (PDF book) because it’s cabbage season until May
Learn how to make cost effective, high protein, delicious meals with dry beans
Find local, independently owned grocery, and hardware stores

Farmers Markets are your friend

I wrote a whole guide on how to shop at farmer’s markets.

I recently moved to rural Nova Scotia, and here the Wolfville Farmer’s Market offers an option where you can shop online and do pick-up in your rural community. Even in rural Nova Scotia, I can buy 95% of my groceries at the farmers market, directly from Canadian producers – meat, vegetables, fruit, milk, cheese, snacks, etc.

Yes, in winter it’s hard. I have been making a lot of apple based desserts and a lot of roasted cabbage. But that’s what we grow in Canada.

We’re in for a very harsh lesson on what is grown here. Learn to make the most of it.

Stop vacationing in the US, vacation in Canada

I just drove across the country. Canada is beautiful. Spend your money here.

Visit the Canadian National and Provincial Parks, I particularly loved Riding Mountain in Manitoba and Lake Okanagan.
Visit the Maritimes, they are insanely beautiful and have so much to offer.

Look at who owns the hotel chains. None of the large chains are owned by Canadians. Stay at smaller, locally owned inns and B&Bs.

Make an inventory of where your money is going

Look at your debit and credit card statements. Make a list of what you’re buying and who owns those companies. Take time when you are shopping to pivot.

Groceries → You will have to change your diet, if only because of the cost of meat and produce going up at least 25% after this. Use this opportunity to shop local.
Beer and Wine → Canada has so many great producers. Start going directly to breweries and wineries, so many of their products are not available in the Provincial liquor stores. Many have online stores and ship.
Household → There are many Canadian producers, as you pick up toilet paper, paper towel, cleaning products, etc. search for lists of providers.
Hardware → Immediately move from Home Depot and Lowes to Home Hardware
Entertainment → Cut streaming, use CBC Gem and Crave; sign up at your local library (they have everything)
Clothing → There are so many great Canadian-made brands at various price-points. I personally shop on the bougier side and love brands like Okay To Rest, House of Blanks, 18Waits, Anian, Outclass, and Province of Canada, but I recognize these brands are pricier than others (but the quality is great).

There are also amazing rural Canadians with terrible websites, like PEI knitters who make great sweaters, or wool duvets made in the prairies, you can buy towels made in Canada. If you need it, it’s probably made here.

Find more options and ask questions on the Buy Canadian subreddit.

If you are a business owner, move your service providers

Business owners have more capacity for capital movement than individuals. If you are a business owner, look at moving from American providers to Canadian providers.

If you make a packaged product, move to a Canadian provider. If you provide digital services, move to a Canadian provider. If you need professional services, move to a Canadian provider.

More than any individual, you can move millions of dollars back into the Canadian economy.

As an employee, ask your COO or CFO how much capital goes to American service providers.

Do not move from American-owned to Chinese-owned

China is not a friend of Canada. We need to invest into countries where their governments support the same value system as Canadians. If the Charter of Rights and Freedoms conflicts with the government in power, don’t support them.

My personal value system is to purchase first from countries where I have the right to get married and women have as equal rights to men as is possible within a patriarchal society. Human rights are expensive.

Follow your own value system. Apply it to where you spend your money.

Remember this is about a government, not a people

Americans are still our friends. The current American government is not.

I know you are busy and tired and overwhelmed, but do it anyway.

Once you make it a habit of looking at who owns a company and where products are made, it becomes second nature. You flip over a bottle, you pop open that hidden drawer on a website. It takes seconds.

Google “Who owns X” (then Google who owns them until you work your way up the chain).

Starting this habit is hard.

Now is the time.

Take care of your neighbours

This is going to hit people hard economically and emotionally.

If you have the time, mental capacity, emotional capacity, or financial capacity, help your neighbours get through this.

Be kind to each other.

Together we’re strong.

– Marko

Cookbook Supper Club

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 12:00:00 +0000

As I pack up my life and get ready to move in just over two weeks, I’m reflecting a lot on what I want to keep in my life and what I want to get rid of. While this evaluation is happening for relationships, emotions, and memories, it’s also happening for a lot of physical stuff.

Moving, particularly moving your life into storage you have to pay for, forces you to confront what you think you value, and what you actually value.

After 11 years in the same house, I’ve collected a lot of stuff I thought I cared about at some point.

I’m not much of a hoarder, but I’ve often left more emotionally difficult things to deal with later. Things I can hide it in the basement. But in a few weeks I’ll no longer have a basement. I won’t have any home at all.

My stuff is going to a few places, broadly categorized as:

Things I need on a two month long camping trip where I will film a cooking show in the woods with a kitchen powered by my electric truck.
Things that need a human, like plants.
Things I want in Nova Scotia for an indeterminate amount of time until I have a house, like shoes and my Peloton bike, that need a temporary home.
Things I need to build a house, like my chop saw and drills, that need a temporary home.
Things I need once I have a house, like my couch, which I am paying to put into climate controlled storage and have driven out to Nova Scotia once I have a place to live. But I might not see these things for 2 years! And it’s very expensive!

As I work through my material possessions, I’m finding many things get to the bottom of this flowchart and I have to ask myself: do I really want to pay to store this for two years until I have a house again? Is it not cheaper to simply buy it again instead? Am I going to unpack this in two years only to take it somewhere to donate it?

So, I am getting rid of a lot of stuff right now.

Some of these decisions are easy. I have 15 years of Bon Appetit magazines. I don’t need them. I found a good home for them.

But when it comes to my kitchen, each question becomes a lot harder. Well, I might need my blender before I have a house (I might need it in the woods!). And what do I do with all these cookbooks? I might need them! In the woods!

You see, I love cookbooks.

I love the unique personality of them – the design, the writing, the photos. I love how they tell stories. I love trying out the recipes and putting my own little star rating inside the book. I love how you can tell a cookbook written for the author, and a cookbook written for a marketable audience. I love going back to cookbooks at different times of the year, over the years.

I have a list of my favourite cookbooks on my website. (I wrote this two years ago and it is not current).

The problem with loving cookbooks, buying cookbooks, and collecting cookbooks is that you rarely get to work your way through them. Many have 100+ recipes, and often you only make a handful. Some cookbooks, like Dessert Person by Claire Saffitz, are amazing reference manuals – I’ve made nearly every recipe. Dessert Person is always on my counter, and is probably coming on my road trip.

Some cookbooks, like Six Seasons, I like to use as inspiration – a jumping off point. And others, like Notes From a Small Kitchen Island, or anything by Nigel Slater, I adore the writing in, but haven’t made too many recipes – my most made recipe from Notes From a Small Kitchen Island is for dog biscuits (5/5 tail wags). I just haven’t had the capacity to try too many others, as it competes with all the other cookbooks in my home.

I’ve always wanted a way to try more recipes from a cookbook, without, say, eating from Mi Cocina every day for a month (which I did, I love that book). And often, I want to try the super complicated project recipes, like mole, which is a large thing to do for a single person.

So while I haven’t yet figured out what to do with all my cookbooks, I have figured out how to get the most out of them.

My favourite way to explore a cookbook is Cookbook Supper Club.

Two years ago my friend Jordan, who at the time I only knew as the owner of Legacy Greens, asked if I would like to attend a cookbook supper club with her and her friends.

I had no idea what this was, so I said yes.

I was very pretty nervous about joining, I didn’t know anyone there, and at the time I really only knew Jordan from shopping at her store. That first cookbook club night, and every one since, has been wonderful.

I’ve made great new friends. I’ve tried so much delicious new food that I never would have had or made before. Cookbook club has since become one of my favourite parts of every month.

Cookbook club is something I am going to take with me – to make a Nova Scotia branch of it. And it’s the kind of thing I think you could try, too.

What is cookbook club?

Our version of cookbook club is a group of 5–10 people who all love food, cooking, and each other’s company. It’s a flexible group, as not everyone can make it each month, and people come and go with the seasons of their lives. There’s a core group, but this club is a branch from a previous cookbook club! Sometimes we have five people, sometimes we have newcomers as guests. It’s always fun.

Each month someone volunteers to host dinner. That person selects a cookbook and shares the recipe list. Everyone picks a recipe, makes it, and brings it to the host’s house – generally potluck / family style. We share a meal together, catch up on life, and it’s pretty great!

We’ve got a good rhythm – I usually make something complicated. Nick always makes surprise bread or desserts. Jordan brings fun beverages from Legacy Greens (I am convinced this is how she does market research now). Sarah usually has some secret career, like shearing sheep, that she tells us about. Misha has made her outfit in addition to what she has made for dinner.

We all cheer each other on. We also have very great conversations, sometimes about butter, but mostly about our lives.

If you want to start your own cookbook supper club, my advice is below.

Make it easy to share recipes

We use WhatsApp for our group chat. It also has a handy polling feature for figuring out dates.

Once the host picks a book, they send photos of the recipe list. Most cookbooks will have either a global list of recipes at the start of the book, or a per-chapter list of recipes. We’ll usually bring the physical cookbook to dinner. Sometimes (meaning, once) we were prepared enough to bring the next cookbook to dinner to peruse.

Sometimes specific recipes stand out. More often, the group will make requests like:

“I only have time to make a simple salad or side dish”
“I’d like something that’s a complicated project”
“I want to make a dessert”

And then the host, who physically has the cookbook, can peruse more in detail to send out some options. The host typically tries to balance the appetizers, entrees, and desserts, but if we end up with all entrees we just roll with it.

After doing this for a while I have a few tips:

If you’re hosting, take your cookbook to a well lit room, place it on a table, and hold it flat so there isn’t glare on the pages.
If you’re reading recipes, on most phones you can select text from photos – just press-and-hold the recipe text on the photo and you can copy/paste the text into your favourite notes or recipe app!

### There are always sneaky secret recipes

As the host, you need to read the ingredients list and not blindly send recipes.

Cookbook authors are sneaky, they will make a recipe look simpler by listing elements of the recipe like this:

1 batch of peach filling (page 134)
1 pie crust (page 172)
1 recipe of whipped cream (page 84)

And you think you’ve sent the whole recipe, but you have not!

And because we are all flawed human beings who won’t actually read the recipe until the day before cookbook club, we will then panic and ask for all of these secret recipes that were hidden in the ingredients lists. This also means as a person cooking, you should read the recipe a week before in case you need to marinate or hydrate something, go to a special store, or ask for a sneaky secret recipe!

Be true to yourselves, not the cookbook

Usually every cookbook club Jordan will say “The recipe said to buy this, and that, and this other thing. But I didn’t want to do that, so I used this instead.” We love and support Jordan for who she is.

In our cookbook club we prioritize being together, having fun, and trying something new over following the rules.

Everyone has different schedules, budgets, and access to ingredients.

At the end of the day, if you can’t find an ingredient, do a reasonable swap. You don’t need to go to 14 stores and spend $75 on spices you’ll never use again. Speciality ingredients usually can be shared – check with the group chat – so if you need to buy smoked black cardamom, maybe somebody else needs it too and you can share it. You can even do a field trip to specialty stores together!

Recipes aren’t rules, they are ideas. For our club, the goal is fun and togetherness.

Sarah Describes a Pancake

Sarah Flambés a Pancake

Present your dishes

We usually go around the table at the start of dinner, each person discusses what they made, the challenges they had with ingredients, how cooking went. It’s generally pretty funny.

Sometimes there’s a performance (see the video of Sarah’s flambé, above), sometimes it’s the surprising delight of a dish (I made a peach tarte tatin that didn’t survive the evening), or a different ingredient (lamb liver mousse) or technique. Sometimes we just like the name (“Fitness Salad” and “Relish of the Seven Lucky Gods”).

Help clean up

After dinner, we all help clean up – even when the host protests (me). If the host is uncomfortable with accepting help, focus on washing your own dishes to take home and use them to pack your leftovers!

For the hosts:

If you don’t have enough dishes or cutlery, ask someone in the club to bring some over
People will usually need serving tools for their dishes, if you don’t have enough ask folks to bring some over
Often people will need to finish their recipes at your house, for our last cookbook I made a peach tarte tatin. I had to roll out my puff pastry, assemble, and bake at Sarah’s house – so I had to ask Sarah to leave me some countertop and oven space.
Try to balance the menu between appetizers, entrées, and desserts; but also using your stove and oven. Fresh salads and pre-made desserts really help here!

For the guests:

Bring containers for leftovers (you can also pack in your serving dish!). There are always so many leftovers.
Try to bring everything you need for your dish, if you need something specific let the host know in advance.
If you have to finish preparing your dish at the host’s house, let them know – especially if you need stove or oven space!
Read your recipe in advance, sometimes you are missing pages of a recipe, or it references another recipe, or something had to be started 1-2 in advance. Sometimes you need a specialty ingredient you need to track down or order online!
Bring a small gift for the host. I usually bring something homemade. Once I brought Misha a lemon that I grew in my home gym!
Bring drinks that you want to share.

That’s all there really is to Cookbook Club.

It’s fun. It brings me joy. Cookbook Club is full of such lovely relationships, emotions, and memories I am going to take with me when I move. I’m going to start a new chapter of Cookbook Club, and I hope the KW crew will come visit me for a Cookbook Club Road Trip.

# FAQs

Much like cookbooks and recipes themselves, this is how we do cookbook club. You can use this to inspire how you do cookbook club. Our goal is fun and community, not strictly following rules or recipes.

How do I choose the right cookbook for the club?

Pick a cookbook you like, even if you’ve never used it before. If the recipes are terrible, they are terrible, and everyone bonds over it. That is part of the adventure!

Should the meals be themed or follow specific chapters of the cookbook?

You can! We haven’t. As long as the recipes are in the cookbook we consider them fair game, and we don’t really focus on if the dishes go together (generally they do).

How many members should be in the supper club?

We have 10 people in the group, usually 5–7 attend. We keep it going even if people can’t join, otherwise it’s too easy for the whole thing to fall apart. Sarah is really the one who makes this happen. You need a leader.

How often should the club meet?

We meet once a month! Your club might vary!

How much time does it take?

Usually we set the invitation for 6pm. People trickle in. We chat, catch up, finish preparing our recipes, set the table. This usually takes around an hour. We eat, we have dessert, we help clean up, and everyone’s gone by 9 or 10pm.

Where should the supper club meetings be held?

Someone volunteers to be the host each month, and we ask for that at the end of each cookbook club. We don’t have a schedule more than a month out. We rotate between who is hosting. You could also have a fixed host. It’s your club, make your own rules!

What are some tips for organizing the first meeting?

How do I find people to join?

Ask the people in your life who like food! They don’t have to be crazy home cooks or super foodies. Most people love the idea. Keep it simple.

“I saw this post about hosting a cookbook supper club – everyone gets together and brings a different dish from the same cookbook. I thought it sounded fun. Would you be interested in trying that?”

How do we handle dietary restrictions or food allergies among members?

We are lucky in that we don’t have any dietary restrictions or allergies in our club. If you do, you’ll want to make sure remind everyone of this at every planning chat, particularly if you’re inviting new people.

If you have a crew with fairly specific needs, like gluten free, dairy free, vegan, I’d suggest focusing on cookbooks, cuisines, and recipes that fit those dietary needs. You can also be discerning on which recipes get included.

If someone does have a known allergen, and you are going to use an ingredient they are allergic to, make it known. Make sure to have extra serving ware available so as not to cross-contaminate food.

You can usually swap out ingredients.

When it comes to food preferences – not allergies – it’s important to set those aside. We’re often doing cookbooks from a wide variety of geographic and cultural areas, we’re often trying new ingredients and flavours. If that’s not something you enjoy, cookbook supper club may not be for you.

What is the best way to split the costs of ingredients?

For our club, everyone is responsible for their own dish. You’re in charge of the recipe you select for yourself. You choose how much time and money you want to spend. You buy your own ingredients.

You are not in charge of other people’s decisions or budgets. If you feel you’re putting in more comparative effort, you can choose to put in less effort by picking a different recipe. The recipe is your choice.

This has never been an issue in our club. I’m often using organic ingredients, finding obscure speciality ingredients, and doing things like making a 35 ingredient mole because that is how I have fun. I don’t expect that from anyone else.

You can certainly take a different approach, such as setting budgets, but it’s so much easier and less drama if everyone chooses what is accessible to their interest, skills, schedule, and budget.

How do we maintain a balance between recipes?

Everyone picks their own dish. You can try to encourage a balance appetizers, entrees, and desserts as people select their dishes. In our club, the self selection process works really well, with people adjusting based on whoever picks their recipe first.

Should the supper club include drinks, and if so, how do we decide on pairings?

You can make this as simple or complicated as you want to.

For our club, generally everyone brings something. I usually bring a non-alcoholic option as I don’t usually drink. We don’t do pairings. You might, but that takes a lot of extra planning!

How do we encourage discussion about the food and the cookbook?

The host often has spent the most time with the cookbook (though sometimes multiple people have the book). It’s great when the host can share how they found the book, some fun facts about the author. Everyone shares their experience making their recipe.

What should be done if someone can't attend?

This happens a lot, and often at the last minute. We just go on anyway. Once we only had four people and it was the funniest, spiciest cookbook club.

Should the club have a leader or rotate responsibilities among members?

Sarah is our de facto leader. If she doesn’t herd the cats, we don’t get together. She sends out reminders, calendar invites, and polls.

We are all very grateful for Sarah. Be the Sarah you want to see in the world.

How do we document our experience?

We keep it simple. Sarah has a Google doc with all the books we’ve done. We take photos of all the food and post it in the group chat. Sometimes I bring my camera! Sometimes I don’t!

You can make it more complex, but that’s what we do!

*My first ever Cookbook Club – “Family Recipes” – where I brought my cabbage recipe and Sarah brought her dad.*

*And here we are, almost two years later, with Cookbook Club helping to paint my house before I put it up for sale earlier this year!*

Buying an electric vehicle

Sun, 25 Aug 2024 12:00:00 +0000

I bought a Rivian R1T Adventure!

It’s an electric pick-up truck with a large battery!

I’ve had it for just over a week as I write this post. I really like it so far. I’ve learned so much in the process of buying an electric vehicle (EV). I personally had so many questions before the purchase, and so many people have me asked questions since.

This post is meant to organize my thoughts for easy access to information, for anyone considering an EV.

*I went camping on Sunday at The Pinery, an Ontario Provincial Park, to test out my camping setup – I bought an iKamper Sky Camp Mini 3.0 hardshell roof top tent for my cross country trip.*

I also want to share this as there is a lot of misinformation around EVs – online, at dealerships, at dinner tables. This is partly because the vehicles available and charging infrastructure has changed a lot in the last few years, and partly because dealerships are disincentivized to sell EVs. Having that, almost every automaker has great EVs now (there is a list at the end of this post).

This is a very long post. The short version is that today, EVs are a great choice for most people – if you have the budget for one. As long as this post is, EVs are quite simple to own and drive.

Why are there so many kinds of electric vehicles now?

When you are shopping for an EV, there are many confusing terms as traditional automakers are trying to market internal combustion engine (ICE) vehicles as EVs.

The following types of vehicles use only electricity to drive the vehicle:

BEV: Battery Electric Vehicle. This is what you think of when you hear EV. These are pure electric vehicles like Rivian and Tesla, the Ford Mustang Mach-E, Volkswagen id.4, Hyundai Ioniq, etc. Most new BEVs with extended range batteries have ~500km (300 miles) of range on a full charge. You can recharge at EV charging stations or at home. The entire thing is electric, there is no gas. BEVs have the largest Federal rebates available. This post is going to focus mostly on BEVs.

The following types of vehicles are gas vehicles with supplemental electric motors and batteries, and only some types of these vehicles can use electricity to drive the car for a limited range. Because these vehicles have gas engines, they require all of the maintenance of ICE vehicles (like oil changes and buying gas).

PHEV: Plug-In Hybrid Electric Vehicle. These vehicles have a small electric motor and battery, usually providing 20–40km of pure electric range, and then a gas engine that drives like a typical car. You can recharge at EV charging stations or at home. When the battery runs out it switches to a gas engine, which you can fill up at any gas station. You basically have two cars in one. These are for people who mostly drive in the city and can’t move past their range anxiety for longer trips. PHEVs have smaller Federal rebates available.
Hybrid: Hybrids, like the Toyota Prius, also have a small electric motor and battery. This battery is even smaller than in a PHEV, and its main goal is to support the engine – boosting power and torque, and at city driving speeds it can power the vehicle with only electricity. The battery also supplies power to heating, cooling, and infotainment systems to increase fuel efficiency. Since the battery is small, it is only charged by regenerative braking – you can’t plug it in. This is old technology, the first Prius came out in 1997!
MHEV: Mild Hybrid Electric Vehicle. These have an even smaller battery and motor, powered by regenerative braking. MHEVs use regenerative braking to create electricity that takes the full load off the engine, increasing fuel efficiency, but you can’t drive in an all electric mode. This is purely a marketing term and in my opinion these really shouldn’t be branded as EVs. They are much more fuel efficient, I rented a Volvo XC90 Mild Hybrid in April and got 800km of range with a 40L tank of gas. But at the end of the day, it’s a more efficient gas vehicle.

Only BEVs and PHEVs are eligible for the Canadian Federal iZEV rebate program. The rebate takes $2,500 (PHEV) to $5,000 (BEV) from the after-tax cost of an EV at the point of sale (you save the money at the dealership, not your tax return). You can view eligible vehicles here. Some Provinces also have additional incentives for BEVs (not Ontario).

Before diving any further in, a note on terminology below: when I refer ICE vehicles – internal combustion engine – I am referring to regular gas cars, SUVs, trucks, etc. When I refer to EVs after this point, I specifically mean Battery Electric Vehicles, as the hybrid options (PHEV, Hybrid, MHEV) do not share all the same features/benefits, and retain the same downsides as an ICE vehicle.

*While I was on my test camp, I powered my electric coffee grinder and electric kettle with the 120V/15A outlet in the truck bed to make pour over coffee in the morning. While I’m on my cross-country trip I am going to have two induction burners, a combi-steam oven, and more powered by the truck! The magic of driving a giant battery!*

Why buy an EV?

There are many pros to buying an EV.

BEVs are nearly silent to drive, it’s a much more calming driving experience than an internal combustion engine (ICE).
BEVs are very fun to drive (even the lower cost ones) due to the way electric motors work. They zoom! They’re smooth!
BEVs have fewer parts that can break. The entire vehicle is a battery, one or more electric motors, two axles, an HVAC system, and many computers. There are ~20 moving components in an EV that can break and over 2,000 in an ICE vehicle.
BEVs have almost zero maintenance costs. You have to change your air filter and maintain your tires/brakes. That’s it. ICE vehicles need regular maintenance, like oil changes. BEVs don’t need oil.
Daily operating costs for a BEV are far lower than the cost of operating an ICE vehicle. To drive 100km, it will cost you ~$0.20 with EV if you charge at home, ~$2.00 if you charge at a commercial charger. A relatively efficient ICE vehicle will cost ~$15 if regular gas to drive 100km (at 8L/100km performance).
Car insurance is cheaper for EVs (green vehicle discounts).
EVs with Green license plates can use the HOV lane in Ontario with only one occupant (your State/Province might vary).
EVs have a ton of bonus perks since they are giant batteries:
- Some EVs have 15A electrical outlets (the same as in your home), so you can plug things into it – like an induction cooktop, electric kettle, and a countertop oven, or use power tools.
- Some EVs have “Camp Mode” where the HVAC system will stay on overnight if you camp inside the vehicle.
- Today, vehicles like the Ford F150 Lightning (and, allegedly soon for Rivian) have Vehicle-to-Home Power. This means during a blackout, your vehicle’s battery can power your house. Depending on your battery size and how much power you use, this could power a single family home for over a week – great if you live in places prone to storms or unstable energy grids.
- In the apocalypse you can power your car with a solar panel instead of siphoning expired gas while the zombies are coming for you! And with 0–60 in 3.5 seconds, you’ll get out of the zombies path fast!

Why not buy an EV?

Price: Generally, you won’t get a new EV below $50,000 Canadian. You might with stacked rebates or buying used. If you compare 5-year ownership costs, EVs can be lower cost than comparable vehicles, but the upfront cost comparison isn’t great and there needs to be many more options at the low end price point.
Range / infrastructure anxiety: Once you do the research on EVs, I think most people will be able to move past this. I’ll address my own anxieties/questions about this in detail below. I am doing a cross country road trip to national parks – very off grid – and I’ve been able to make a plan that is realistic using an EV.

*My Rivian R1T Adventure with Large battery appears to get well over 550km of range. With less than 50% charge I can still go to Toronto and back!*

How far can you drive in an EV?

It depends on the vehicle you get. Most of the vehicles I evaluated have ~500km range when buying the long range battery upgrade. This includes:

Rivian R1T (which I bought) and R1S, both of which have a Max battery option with a > 650km rated range
Volkswagen id.4
Ford Mustang Mach-E
Nissan Ariya
All the BEV models from Tesla, Kia, Hyundai, BMW, and Volvo

500km range is a lot. It’s enough to drive from Kitchener to Ottawa (489km) without stopping. Or to Toronto and back twice (220km roundtrip) without charging. Even in freezing weather, where the range can drop by 15%, you would still have a total range of 425km with a full charge.

I’m not sure who is driving more than 400km (4 hours) at a time without stopping to pee, eat, and stretch their legs. During that time you can fast charge the vehicle in 15–20 minutes. Generally, most people only drive that far on holidays/road trips. If you drive less than 100km/day, you can easily keep your charge with a standard home electric outlet and use fast chargers on road trips.

Traffic jams are a concern I’ve heard a lot, but EVs don’t lose much range while idling.

If you are stuck in traffic for hours, the electric motors will turn off, but you still have access to climate control, music, USB-C ports, etc. At most you’ll lose 1% or 2% of range after several hours. This is a huge benefit if you’re regularly stuck in traffic. By comparison, an ICE vehicle is always burning fuel – costing you money and running the risk of running out of gas – every time you’re in a traffic jam.

Can I really make it to a remote destination?

A friend of mine recently shared that she would love an EV, but they have a remote cabin they go to a few times in the summer. Could it possibly work for them, or should they get a PHEV?

For longer road trips and remote destinations, such as my upcoming cross-country trip, tools like A Better Route Planner can help you plan your charging stops. It’s free. If you want to see what your own road trips would look like, plug your trip in and see what it says. I recommend round-trip planning to make sure you can have enough charge to get home. You can even select the vehicles you’re evaluating, and whether you have access to Tesla Superchargers or not, and see how the route changes.

I was very stressed about planning my road trip with an EV until I did the math.

In 2020 I drove to Thunder Bay, the Canada way, in my old Volvo XC40. I remember seeing a sign that said last fuel stop for 300km! The stress that caused me! I plugged that same drive into A Better Route Planner and saw that there are chargers all along that drive. Now I’m only stressed about being eaten by a bear (1 in 22.4 million odds, yet still scarier than running out of battery).

You’ll quickly learn that there are very few places you can’t get to with 500km of range.

This is the route to Thunder Bay, a very remote drive that’s uncomfortable even in a gas car.

You can see the EV route takes longer “on paper” (19 hours vs 15 hours for the same route in a gas car) – but I don’t know who is driving 1,472km without stopping for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (at least twice each because you probably need to sleep).

If you make this drive, you’re probably going to stay at the Voyageur’s Lodge in Batachawana Bay, where I stayed there in 2020. You’ll get the apple fritters. They have a Tesla Destination Charger to charge your vehicle while you sleep, and when you wake up rested with your car fully charged, you can eat donuts I’ve been thinking about for 4 years.

Yes, they are on my route for this trip.

I specifically bought an EV with Tesla Supercharger access because I wanted the infrastructure flexibility for long road trips. But, you can see here, it’s still a very realistic drive even without Tesla Supercharger access!

But is it really cheaper to operate?

Yes, substantially!

For the price comparison, I’m going to use the Volkswagen id.4 instead of my pickup truck. It’s an SUV, it’s a great vehicle for most people, and comparable to most other EVs on the market. It has an 82kW battery which provides roughly 500km of real-world range. It compares well to the Volkswagen Tiguan – a same size class ICE vehicle, by the same manufacturer, which has a 60L tank with roughly 600km of real-world range.

Charge at home: $7.13 – Charging a VW id.4 at home using off-peak rates (plugged in overnight), for a 0% to 100% battery charge. (Source: Kitchener Hydro rates, Aug 2024)
Commercial charging stations: $38.54 – DC Fast Charging at a Park+Charge would cost $38.54 for a 0% to 100% battery charge (~500km range). (Source: Park+Charge EV rates, Aug 19)
Regular Gas: $96.60 – Fueling a VW Tiguan with regular gas would cost $96.60 for a 60L tank (~600km range). (Source: Shell, Aug 12)
Premium Gas: $118.80 – Fueling a vehicle that needs premium fuel would cost $118.80 for a 60L tank. (Source: Shell, Aug 12)

The average Canadian drives 15,200km per year. That means:

If you only charge at home, your energy costs are $216/year ($1,084 over 5 years)
If you only charge at commercial DC Fast Chargers, your energy costs are $1,172/year ($5,858 over 5 years)
If you only use regular gas, your costs are $2,447/year ($12,236 over 5 years)
If you only use premium gas, your costs are $3,009/year ($15,048 over 5 years)

You also save the costs of vehicle maintenance:

EVs don’t need oil changes – there is no oil
EVs don’t have random fluids – only windshield wash – there is no transmission fluid, coolant, etc.
EVs don’t have spark plugs – there is no engine to spark (EVs have motors)
EVs have almost 2,000 fewer moving parts that can break compared to an ICE vehicle – there no belts! No gears! No cogs! (I don’t know what car parts are called, and neither do you! But they break!)

You can do the math to see what your savings would be.

I’m moving to Nova Scotia where the electricity rates are higher than Ontario – it’s the number one complaint people offer about the Province – and even there, overnight charging a Volkswagen id.4 at home would cost a whopping $9.41!

*My first time at a commercial charger wasn’t great. I did not get fast charging to work – you can see it’s charging at 42.4kW (not the promised 150kW of this station). I was still able to charge to over 80% for$17.55!This charging station is a bit of a scam that charges by the minute, where most others charge by the power delivered (in kW). At a Tesla Supercharger this takes 15 minutes.*

What’s the deal with EV charging?Where do you charge?How long does it take?Do I need to hire an electrician?

EV charging infrastructure is rapidly evolving right now and there is a learning curve that you can pick up in a week. The learning curve feels high because there are so many new words and terms here. But really, you just need to find a station near you and plug your vehicle in.

Since I just sold my house, I have not installed any sort of charger at home. I have a century home, so there isn’t a garage and I don’t have easily accessible outdoor outlets. This means I’m entirely reliant on commercial charging. If I was not moving I would install a charger in the driveway – they can be installed outdoors.

Most people will be fine charging at home most of the time

If you can charge at home, you will rarely have to think about EV charging, except for road trips. Depending how much you drive each day, you may not need a fast home charger. With a standard electrical outlet you can add up to 85km of range by charging overnight (8 hours).

Yes, you can plug an EV into a standard outlet. I tried this at my dad’s house, using an outlet in his garage.

You probably want an at-home fast charger. These need to be installed by an electrician, and require running new electrical lines, which adds to the upfront costs. Depending on the specs, an at-home fast charger can fully charge your battery in a few hours. Expect this to cost around $2,500 with installation (depending how far away your electrical panel is, the wire alone could be $700).

For faster charging, you can head to a 150–250kW DC fast charger, which can charge your battery in 15–30 minutes. These are usually at or near grocery stores, restaurants, coffee shops, or malls.

There are so many ports

EVs need to support both Direct Current (DC power) for fast charging, and Alternating Current (AC power) for home charging. This is important to know for how you evaluate charging stations, plugs, and adapters.

Today EV charging is a bit like smartphones in 2011. Does your phone have Mini USB? Micro USB? Lightning? Now everyone, even Apple, has a USB-C port on their phone (though some of us still have lightning ports). It’s like that.

EV Charging is in the middle of resolving that mess. You will see the following types of charging ports:

NACS (Tesla Supercharger) – This is the USB-C of EV charging. It’s the newly agreed upon North American Charging Standard for DC fast charging, designed by Tesla. Every manufacturer has agreed to move to NACS in North America. If you do not currently have a NACS vehicle, you can buy an adapter to convert from NACS → CSS. (Europe standardized on CCS1, and forced Tesla to adopt it).
CCS1 – Most non-Tesla vehicles on the market today have CCS ports. Most non-Tesla commercial charging stations have CCS plugs. If you have a NACS vehicle, you can purchase a CCS → NACS adapter to use CCS chargers.
J1772 – This is a smaller part of CCS, but for AC charging (home power). To use Tesla Destination Chargers you need a NACS → J1772 adapter.
ChAdeMo – This was an early type of plug that has mostly been discontinued. You’ll see it on older models like the Nissan Leaf, and some charging stations. It’s important to know insofar as you’ll say “what’s that?!” at charging stations and on maps.

If you buy a non-Tesla vehicle today, it most likely has a CCS charger. You’ll want to purchase a NACS → CCS adapter. All of the automakers have agreed to move to NACS, which will begin happening in 2026 model years or later.

Yes it's all confusing to read, but you buy an adapter once and you’re fine.

Should I just wait for a NACS vehicle then?

If you buy a NACS vehicle you still need an adapter to use CCS charging stations. In either case you need an adapter. This is not a reason to wait. It’s going to be 10 years before everything is NACS.

What’s the deal with all these charging networks?

Commercial charging networks are growing. I’m surprised by how many there are. When you are looking for a charging station, you want to look at the following information, all of which you can see in maps.

Speed – how fast can it charge your battery?
Uptime – how reliable is the station?
Availability – are there free stalls?
Cost – some stations are free or discounted

Locally, I’ve been using Park+Charge at Laurentian Zehrs because it’s fast (150kW speed), nearby, and reliable. Once I get my NACS adapter, I will switch to using the Tesla Supercharger (250kW) because it’s closer and faster. I tried going to Circle K (200kW) on Victoria Street but the charging station was down. There are a lot of free chargers around that I haven’t explored yet, but most of them are slower.

Some vehicles integrate directly into some charging networks. At Tesla and Chargepoint, I can simply plug my vehicle in and it bills my credit card on file. Some stations require apps that ask for privacy invading access to your phone, like Circle K, which you should deny because a corporation has no right to your location 24/7. Some take payment at the terminal, and work like gas stations, like Park+Charge.

When you search for charging stations on maps, you can see the charging ports available, charging speed, and whether the station is currently occupied.

*You can see in the listing here that this charging station supports CCS at 150kW speed. This station also supports CHAdeMo.*

Can I use Tesla Superchargers with a non-Tesla?

Maybe!

Today, only Rivian and Ford are supported.

If you have a Tesla, Rivian, or Ford, yes – you can use Superchargers. Otherwise maybe? Sometime in the future? It depends on if Elon is happy long enough to not fire that team until they get the work done?

If you have a Supercharger compatible vehicle with a CCS port, you will need a NACS to CCS adapter.

There is a lot of misinformation out there around Tesla Superchargers, since many car dealerships don’t do any EV training with their sales staff. When I went to Nissan, they told me I just need to buy an adapter for $50 on Amazon and I can use the Tesla Superchargers.

This is factually wrong. (1) Superchargers will NOT work until each manufacturer is approved by Tesla, and (2) Cheap adapters are a recipe for a fire.

DC fast charging adapters need to handle 250kW – 50x more power than your oven uses, so it is not the place to be cheap.

UL ratings for EV adapters aren’t formalized yet, so you want to get one directly from your vehicle manufacturer until UL rated adapters are available (the adapters supplied by Ford and Rivian are in very limited supply since they are made by Tesla, and, well, Elon.

You can buy the A2Z Typhoon Pro adapter (I did). They claim it will meet the upcoming UL2252 standard once the standard is ratified, CE certification is in process, and FCC certification is obtained. It’s $295, and they’re a Canadian company. 4/5 strangers on the internet agree it’s the best option if you can’t get an adapter from your manufacturer.

A small note on my truck: since I bought a used vehicle, I can’t get a free adapter from Rivian. Rivian says I can buy one in their gear shop when they’re available. They are not available. They have no date for availability. And if they were available, the gear shop doesn’t even ship to Canada! Rivian is a relatively young American company, so I am accepting of these “early adopter” problems while they scale, but I will be vocal about them because they need to improve their operations if they want to succeed. If you buy from a traditional manufacturer, like Ford, you may still run into the same customer service issues because the adapters are on back order.

*If you are buying a Rivian or Ford, you want to filter the Tesla map to “Superchargers Open to NACS”. There are many.*

Not all Tesla Superchargers are NACS

Tesla Superchargers have three types: Tesla only, NACS, and Magic Dock. Here is the August 2024 state of Tesla Supercharger access:

Tesla Superchargers without NACS or Magic Dock only work with Tesla vehicles. You can filter these out on the map to see them.
Tesla Superchargers with NACS support only work with Tesla, Rivian and Ford. There are over 15,000 NACS Superchargers. If your vehicle is made by a different manufacturer, even if you have a NACS adapter, it will not charge your vehicle! Every auto manufacturer has announced Supercharger plans. Tesla has announced partnerships with GM, Volvo, Polestar, Nissan, and Mercedes-Benz – but support is not yet live. It might be next week, it might be next year!
Tesla Superchargers with a Magic Dock work with any vehicle. There are less than 50 of these locations.
Tesla Destination Chargers are slower, AC powered chargers – which means you will need a NACS to J1772 adapter (different from the NACS to CCS1 adapter used for DC fast charging – welcome to Dongletown, USA). Any vehicle can use Destination Chargers as long as they have the right adapter, but they are slow.
The location of the charging port can be problematic at Tesla Superchargers. Older Tesla Superchargers have relatively short charging cables, since all Tesla vehicles have the charging port on the rear driver side (vehicles back into parking spots to charge). My Rivian R1T has the charging port at the front driver side. This means my charging port is on the opposite side of the vehicle, and I may have to block two chargers if I can’t reach my charging port.

By the 2026 or 2027 model year, most new vehicles will have NACS ports in the rear driver side location. Every manufacturer has agreed to standardize on this.

What’s all this about only charging to 80%?

There are a lot of myths and half-truths around EV charging that have become popularized. It’s all pretty complicated because it has to do with science and chemistry. The worries are very overblown.

Here is a scientific paper if you want to argue with people on the internet.

There are two main kinds of batteries in BEVs today. Lithium Nickel Manganese Cobalt Oxide (NMC) and Lithium Iron Phosphate (LFP, or LiFePO). NMC batteries use more rare earth metals, are more expensive, and smaller. LFP batteries are larger, heavier, and cheaper. There are newer battery technologies coming, but probably not for 10 years.

Batteries degrade over time, meaning they hold less charge – like how an iPhone starts dying by 8pm after 3 or 4 years. There are many factors that affect this.

LFP batteries are supposed to have very little degradation when charging to 100%, and can withstand 3,000-6,000 charge cycles before they lose noticeable performance. This would mean charging your vehicle from 0% to 100% every single day for 8–16 years!

NMC batteries will lose performance faster than LFP batteries when they are charged to the edges, meaning if you charge above 90% and run below 10% most of the time. When charging from 0 to 100%, your battery performance will fall within 450 charge cycles. If you keep charge between 20% and 80%, your performance will fall within 1,500 charge cycles.

While 450 charge cycles sounds low, 450 charge cycles from 0 to 100%, at 500km range for a full charge, is the equivalent of driving 225,000km. That’s around the lifecycle of an ICE vehicle’s engine. I don’t think anyone would expect an ICE vehicle to operate at peak performance after 225,000km (140,000 miles). Having said that, maintaining your battery between 20% and 80% will extend its capacity well into 450,000km – likely beyond the useful life of the vehicle.

Battery temperature also has a large impact on degradation, so try to pre-condition (warm up) your battery before fast charging as often as you can.

I’m personally not going to worry about it too much. If you want rules to follow, the basic guidelines most manufacturers, scientists, and strangers on the internet agree on are:

Try to stay between 20% and 80% most of the time.
Only plug in when you need to charge.
Only charge to 100% when you have to do very long drives where charging opportunities may be difficult to find, such as rural road trips.
Try not to let the battery fully die.
Pre-condition before charging.

Okay but what about the winter?

Newer EVs have battery conditioning technology, which is fancy for it uses a heater to warm up the battery to increase battery performance. Batteries operate better, with less degradation (caused by crystals forming) when they are warm. If you are charging your car at home, you can have it automatically condition the battery before you leave!

But I heard the range tanks as soon as it gets cold outside?

EVs lose the same range as ICE vehicles.

Generally, EV range seems to drop 15% as temperatures go below freezing. If you have 500km of range, you can expect 425km of range below freezing. With a conditioned (warmed up) battery, or vehicles with a heat pump, you will see a much lower drop – if any.

As a point of comparison, ICE vehicles lose 15% in efficiency/range at -6°C, and drop more than 25% in efficiency/range for short trips where the engine has no time to warm up. You won’t see this discussed as a reason not to buy gas vehicles – yet you’re fueling up your car more often, and spending more on gas in the winter!

No, someone told me that EVs just stop working if it’s cold!

EVs have the same operating temperature range as ICE vehicles.

EVs will likely not operate at all below -27°C (I mean, I will also stop operating at -27°C. It’s never been that cold here.)

Generally, ICE vehicles will also stop operating at this temperature. The battery may not start the engine, and the oil may be too thick for the engine to function (and turning it on could cause permanent damage to the engine!).

If it is -27°C you should stay home.

But someone told me if the battery dies the vehicle will never work again and I’ll have to spend thousands of dollars to have it towed!

If your EV battery dies on the road, you have a few options:

You can call service that offers “Vehicle to Vehicle” or “Vehicle to Load” (V2L charging. This can add 40km of range to get you to a charging station.
You can tow your vehicle to a charging station.
You can buy CAA. CAA Premier is $149/year, which includes 5 service calls per year. They provide emergency V2L charging, plus 320km of emergency towing once, and up to 200km of emergency towing 4 times. All for $149/year! Which is like, 5% of your fuel cost savings!

Any vehicle can receive V2L charging. Not all vehicles can provide power, though (Hyundai and Kia can). In the future, V2L will become a standard feature – which means other drivers will be able to give you a boost on the road in an emergency!

EV infrastructure has come a long way in the last five years. The issues early Tesla drivers faced aren’t really problems anymore.

But honestly, just take some of your fuel cost savings and buy CAA if you’re worried.

In older EV models, the battery completely draining did cause problems, since without a battery the vehicle can’t start the computers needed to regulate charging. But that was years ago. Most EVs now have a software-locked battery buffer (meaning, “100%” is actually 90%) and 12V battery to prevent this situation.

I thought AC/DC was a band?Why are there so many new terms?How do I talk to my angry uncle at Thanksgiving about fuel efficiency?

In ICE vehicles, you can generally use any gas pump at any gas station, and the main difference is paying for better fuel quality. In Canada, fuel efficiency is measured in L/100km (MPG in the US).

For EVs, you can use most electric charging stations, or a normal plug in anyone’s house. The main difference is going to be charging speed and how you pay. The terms are also different, as efficiency is measured in km per kilowatt hour (km/kWh).

*Substack won’t let me embed tables, and Google won’t let me write in Canadian English, so here we are with a screenshot of Google Docs yelling at me. The American readers are saying “Finally!”*

Using the VW id.4 as an example:

If you’re on the road, a fast charger will get you back to driving quickly. After 300km, or 3 hours of driving, you’re going to want to stop to buy a snack, use the washroom, and stretch your legs. By the time the car charges you’ll have done all of that!

If you are charging at home, a home charger from your vehicle manufacturer, or a generic brand like the Grizzl-E, will fully charge your vehicle overnight.

What’s this about regenerative braking? What is single pedal driving?

In a gas car, when you press down on the gas pedal you are accelerating the vehicle. If you let go of the gas pedal, the car will keep its momentum going until you hit the brake. When you press the brake, you are applying friction to the wheels to stop the vehicle. You have two pedals: one is go, one is stop.

Energy can’t be created or destroyed, only moved. When you brake a vehicle, you are moving energy. In traditional braking the energy moves in the form of heat generated by the brakes.

Regenerative Braking

EVs use a technology called regenerative braking. Instead of turning all of the energy from breaking into heat, some of that energy turns into electricity. Instead of using friction to stop the vehicle, your motor turns into a power generator that slows the vehicle’s momentum.

Single Pedal Driving

To increase how much power can be captured, EVs use an optional technique called single pedal driving to increase regenerative braking’s capacity to return energy. Single pedal driving can increase range by as much as 5% (~25km)!

It’s a really different driving experience.

With single pedal driving, the gas pedal acts more like a speed setting. If your foot isn’t on the accelerator, the car is stopped. If you press it down gently it will go 30km/h and stay there. If you press it down more it will go 50km/h and stay there. If you press it down firmly it will rapidly accelerate to 100km/h and stay there. If you don’t change the position of your foot it will keep that speed, as if cruise control is on. When you lift your foot off the pedal, the car will begin to brake until it stops.

Without pressing the brake.

If you test drive an EV this takes some getting used to. You can ask the car dealership to disable single pedal driving for your first test drive, so that the abrupt change in driving style doesn’t impact your view of the vehicle. Rivian, Ford, VW, and Tesla have buttery smooth implementations of single pedal driving, while Nissan and Honda feel like it’s your first day in driving school if you so much as wiggle your big toe.

In my week with the Rivian R1T I have grown to love single pedal driving. I have pressed the brake pedal maybe twice?

But this all sounds like a lot I have to learn. It’s easier to just buy a gas car. Why is an electric car worth changing my habits?

The sales rep at Ford literally asked me this before letting me see an electric car. My answer was “because of my personal value system, I’d like to do what I can to limit my personal impact on climate change.” And she, condescendingly, added “Wow, I didn’t know anyone actually cared about that!”

The benefits as a vehicle owner are clear:

Lower maintenance costs
Lower lifetime operating costs
Quieter, smoother drive
Fun, zippy drive
Fewer things can break down in the vehicle that need repair
You can power an electric kitchen (if your vehicle has 120V/15A outlets)
You can power electric power tools (if your vehicle has 240V/30A outlets)
You can power your house (V2L support required)
Green benefits like lower insurance costs and HOV lane access
You get to do a good thing for the planet and model climate leadership to provide hope to future generations that maybe we are actually willing to solve this problem. We can have clean air – no emissions! We can have clean energy (if that’s what powers your community).

The downsides are:

Higher upfront costs
Charging infrastructure is in flux
Anxiety about learning how to charge and manage a battery
Waiting 15 minutes at a charger when you’re on a road trip and you’re stopping for lunch anyway? Learning new words?

EVs are so expensive! Are used EVs a good option?

Yes! I bought a used Rivian R1T from Shift Motors in Oakville.

I went with used for a few reasons:

It was a 2024 model, and only had 4,300km on it. It still had the stickers on the screens and the accessories in their original packaging. It was basically new.
Rivian will transfer/honour the original warranty – most manufacturers do this, more below.
The Carfax record was clean (but that doesn’t always mean anything, and Rivian hasn’t integrated their service records into Carfax yet).
Compared to a new model with the same specs, I saved $30,000!

But isn’t a used EV really risky? I heard the batteries don’t last!

Used EVs are substantially less risky than used ICE vehicles for the simple reason that there are fewer components that can break, and fewer components to maintain. I have never purchased a used vehicle before, so I did a lot of research on this to become comfortable with buying a used EV.

The main risk with a used EV is battery degradation.

First, the batteries are under warranty for something like 5 to 8 years. If the manufacturer’s warranty ports over to a new owner, then this is a non-issue.

Yes – EV batteries may degrade after years depending how they are charged (see above).

You can, and should, ask a used car dealership to run battery diagnostics for you – you may even be able to do it yourself within the vehicle (Google “view battery health vehicle model” for instructions). You will also see accurate range estimates on the vehicle screen. To figure out max range, it’s simple math – divide the estimated range by the %.

If the vehicle has 30% battery left, and says 160km of range, divide 160 by 0.30.
130/0.33 = 533km range at 100% charge!

Reduce your risk with a trust but verify approach:

Ask for a battery health report: if they don’t provide this, don’t buy the vehicle. Do your own math on the range based on the vehicle’s estimates.
Ask for a CarFax report: if they don’t provide this, don’t buy the vehicle.
Don’t trust the CarFax report: explicitly ask if the vehicle has any unreported damage, any repair history, any service, recalls, or parts replaced. Ask this over email so it is in writing. A friend bought a used ICE vehicle recently and they only disclosed an accident after he signed the contract, when he went to pick up the vehicle. You can imagine how that went.
Ask if the manufacturer’s warranty is still valid and transfers to a second owner. I called Rivian prior to purchase and provided them with the VIN to verify the warranty was still valid and would be transfer. You have to call to transfer the warranty, it is not automatic! This is true for Rivian, Tesla, Ford, VW, etc.
Test everything: door seals, sound systems, automatic locks, hard acceleration, hard braking, all the built-in cameras. You may only be able to do this on a second test drive, when you’re serious about that specific vehicle.

I bought my R1T at Shift Motors. They exceeded my expectations for customer service – far better than what I had at any of the manufacturer dealerships. My sales rep at Shift Motors, Simeon, was so transparent in the process that I felt very comfortable going with the used vehicle.

If you want to try a variety of electric vehicles, I would strongly recommend heading to Shift Motors in Oakville. Since they are an EV only dealership, and you can try all of the makes/models in one location.

I have no relationship with Shift Motors, I’m sharing this because it was an exceptionally great experience and I feel good customer service and honest sales should be rewarded.

What electric vehicles are out there? What did you try? What would you recommend?

As you might imagine, I researched all of them and I tried a lot of them. I wanted at least 500km of range, which led me to try the vehicles below.

Prices below are for the extended range battery models as of August 2024, in Canadian dollars, with Ontario pricing, and do not include dealer discounts, tax, or Federal ($5,000) or Provincial rebates:

Volkswagen id.4 Pro – $55,728: I loved it. It’s the same size as a Tiguan, with a luxury quality interior. The screen/UI setup was the best of any EV I tried. The drive was fun and sporty. It had the quietest cabin inside. It gets over 500km of range. The only knock on it is the lack of Tesla Supercharger integration – VW has promised it in 2025? Maybe? If you mostly drive locally and can charge at home, with occasional road trips, this is the one I would buy. Do not buy a pre-2024 VW id.4 – they changed the architecture substantially. 2024 has great reviews, the prior years are poor. VW currently has 0.99% financing, in this economy?!
Ford Mustang Mach-E Extended Range – $61,528: I had to go to two Ford dealerships. The first wouldn’t even talk to me. At the second dealership, I had to convince them that I liked EVs more than ICE vehicles to even get a test drive. No wonder they have dozens of them sitting on the lot. The drive was great, the interior was great, the exterior was great. I’m not a huge fan of the weird tall screen, but I’m sure you’d get used to that. Ford vehicles are Tesla Supercharger compatible today. If I didn’t buy a truck, I would have purchased the Mach-E (due to my road trip I need the Tesla Supercharger compatibility, otherwise the VW id.4 is superior in my opinion). Reviews of the Mach-E have been stellar from day one. I did not try the F-150 Lightning but they are well reviewed and you can often get very good deals on them if you go to a rural dealership (less than $65,000).
Nissan Ariya Evolve+ – $64,846: It’s fine. It’s big, the size of a Murano. The drive is stiff. The single pedal driving was terrible. The staff had no knowledge about the vehicle at all. For the price, get a VW or Ford.
Tesla Model Y Long Range – $63,990: I did not want to buy a Tesla, because Elon. When I went to try it, the interior look was much better than I expected based on what I’ve heard online. However, the interior cabin feel is very poor for the price point. It’s echoey, the sound is tinny, and the road noise is high. The build quality isn’t great. I think if it's the only EV you try, you won’t notice that as much – but going from Volkswagen to Tesla, you can immediately feel the quality drop. I personally wouldn’t buy it.
Honda Prologue EX – $62,995: The 2024/2025 Honda Prologue is a beautiful car with a luxury interior, built on a horrible platform. I didn’t know this before driving it, but the Prologue uses the same base platform as the Chevy Blazer (which was recalled for bricking vehicles) and the Cadillac Lyriq (which has a stop sale on it currently). This is disappointing because the Prologue had an amazing 80’s futuristic style outside and luxury interior inside. I loved the look of the car. The 2026 model year is going to be a brand new, Honda engineered platform (which will have its own first year issues). I would avoid Honda until 2027 models.
Kia EV6 Wind – $55,995 / EV9 Wind $62,995 : Kia’s EVs are all mostly sold out for the next year – they have great reviews – and when I went to try the EV6 and EV9, they were not available at the dealership. Waterloo and Kitchener Kia trade which location has them each week. I’ve seen them on the road and love the look.
Hyundai Kona – $49,177: I don’t personally like the look of Hyundai’s current generation. The range of the Kona is a bit lower (420km), and combined with the lack of Tesla Supercharger support, it knocked them off my list. The Ioniq 5 has longer range (488km) but it’s more expensive at $57,576 to start and quite a bit smaller. Hyundai and Kia use the same platform, so pick the one you like the look of better.
Volvo EX40 – $63,389: When I started this process I thought I was going to get an EX40, since I previously had (and loved) the XC40. Volvo has promised Tesla Supercharger access – but Elon fired that whole team, so it’s not available yet. I didn’t end up trying it, as they raised the prices so much – by the time you spec things out with AWD, sunroof, etc. the EX40 costs the same as a Rivian R1S. The VW id.4 is $30,000 less with the same specs – and comparable build quality, interior finishes, and range. Volvo is also now owned by Geely, a Chinese automaker. Sorry Volvo, VW wins this round.
Rivian R1T and R1S – $115,000+: I clearly loved the R1T the most, since that is the vehicle I purchased. Unless you need to do Camping Truck Stuff™, most people would be better off with an R1S – the Escalade-sized model. However, this is a >$100,000 Canadian vehicle, so most people are better of not buying one. Rivian has more affordable models coming: the R2 and R3 coming out in 2026 and 2027 (the R3 is the coolest looking car I’ve seen in a long time). Rivian currently has $9,000 off new 2024 models. 2025 (“Gen 2”) has an all new architecture and is the first model year with Rivian’s in-house designed motors.

I didn’t try, but researched:

GM/Chevy/Cadillac: Nobody would talk to me at Cadillac. The Chevy Blazer has been recalled as a lemon. The Cadillac Lyric has since been put on a stop sale due to system failures. GM’s entire EV line-up post-Bolt appears to be built on a bad foundation. They just fired 1,000 people from their software team. I don’t know who is running GM’s EV division but they aren’t executing well.
Polestar: A luxury/performance spin-out from Volvo, I didn’t try them – the price point was similar to Rivian, and Rivian offered a better fit for my life of adventure. They have great reviews if you have a lot of money!
Audi: I didn’t try the Q5 E-Tron because it’s literally a rebadged VW id.4 for $25,000 more with a worse UI. There is currently no benefit to buying Audi over VW other than a logo in this generation.
Subaru: 359km range. Sad.
Mercedes: 354km range? For $150,000? Seriously?
Lexus: 354km range? Seriously?
Jaguar: 370km range? lol
Toyota: They still don’t sell battery electric vehicles, only hybrids. (They claim to make a BEV but you can’t actually buy it).
Mazda: They still don’t sell battery electric vehicles, only hybrids (“coming soon”)
Jeep: They still don’t sell battery electric vehicles, only hybrids (“coming soon”)
Land Rover: They still don’t sell battery electric vehicles, only hybrids (“coming soon”)
BMW: I am not a BMW person and I do not like their angry looking aesthetic or the reputation of their drivers, but their battery vehicles like the iX are well reviewed and have great range, for a lot of money. If you like BMW and have a BMW budget, definitely look at them.

The tl;dr is if you’re looking to buy an EV I would suggest trying:

2024+ Volkswagen id.4 – best quality, price, range combination (VW has 0.99% financing right now!).
Any year Ford Mustang Mach-E – great option for road trips with Tesla access, and very sporty look (Ford has employee pricing discounts right now but you have to fight the dealership to actually get it).
Any year Ford F-105 Lighting – best for Actual Truck Stuff™ (on road and on the job site).
Any year Kia EV9 – comparatively affordable 3 row SUV, if you can find one.
Any year Rivian R1T or R1S – best for Camping Truck Stuff™ (off road), and best luxury SUV, if you can afford one (they have $9,000 off 2024s right now). They have more affordable compact SUV models coming out in 2026.
Any year Volvo, Polestar, and BMW for luxury brands.

### Additional thoughts on Rivian, CarPlay, and cars as computers:

I want to preface this section by saying I am happy with my decision to buy a Rivian. I went with Rivian for the smart storage design, exceptional battery life, fit and finish, the sound system, and most important for me – the kitchen that can go in the gear tunnel.

Rivian’s vehicle management software – controlling the truck itself – is exceptionally great. It’s responsive. It’s customizable. The level of detail is great. The UI is lovely and easy to use.

But when it comes to maps, music, texting, phone calls, and voice control – it is very poor.

Every auto maker except Tesla, GM, and Rivian, have CarPlay and Android Auto support. I am an Apple customer and CarPlay great. I’ve used it for years, I had it in my old Volvo XC40. I swore I would never buy a vehicle without it – but I did. And it’s as terrible as I feared.

I have since purchased a $150 CarPlay screen to add CarPlay, because using the vehicle without it is tediously painful. If you’re coming from bluetooth you won’t notice these things, but if you’re used to CarPlay:

I can’t use Waze, Google Maps, or Apple Maps. In the vehicle I have to use Rivian Maps, which suck at routing – they directed me incorrectly three times when I was going to pick up my camping tent in Burlington. The lane guidance is awful. It doesn’t call roads or highways by the proper name, instead using obscure map names that aren’t on road signs.
The Rivian Maps are not up to date on the Canadian charging ecosystem, so I can’t see Circle K or Park+Charge DC fast chargers on the map, or get directions there. This has the consequence of limiting fast charging, because Rivian won’t let you manually pre-condition the battery – it pre-conditions when you set a fast charger as a destination. (I now lie and say I’m going to Tesla.)
I can’t use a voice assistant to listen to or respond to text messages. Today, there is zero support for text messaging or invoking Siri via Bluetooth anywhere in the system. In any bluetooth only car I’ve driven, you can still invoke Siri with the steering wheel buttons. Not so in Rivian.
I can’t use voice commands to change Apple Music songs within the Rivian-built Apple Music app. Voice commands are powered by Alexa, and only work with limited services. Seriously, to search for a song in Apple Music you have to use an on screen keyboard while you are driving. They thought that was acceptable to ship?
I can’t access music if the vehicle doesn’t have a cellular connection.
I tried calling a pizza place to order for pick-up, but I could not tap the phone number in Rivian Maps to call them. I had to pull into a parking lot and manually dial the phone number into my phone.

This also means for Rivian’s software team is distracted:

Instead of improving vehicle quality of life, their engineering resources are spread out replicating functions built into CarPlay and Android Auto.
International expansion is going to be terribly difficult when it comes to localization given how poor the maps experience is in Canada.

Why are they doing this? Simple – it looks better on their books to have subscription review.

Rivian just announced Connect+, a $150/year subscription to get access to music streaming and maps. BMW famously received flak for charging a subscription for heated seats. Everything is a subscription now because that’s what the stock market values.

The problem here is that auto manufacturers are choosing to provide an inferior experience to nickel-and-dime customers. Over 5 years Rivian will make $750 from my subscription. I would rather just pay $1,500 at time of purchase for a CarPlay “Premium Infotainment” system upgrade. But my one-time purchase doesn’t look as good on their balance sheet as subscription revenue.

And sure, I could use bluetooth to stream my music to the vehicle like it’s 2008 to avoid paying their subscription – but the experience is terrible and it doesn’t have to be that way.

Rivian’s CEO has communicated that this is a software integration problem, which is bullshit, as CarPlay is integrated to various degrees in most cars on the market using a “punch-through” UI. Of course Apple wants to control the whole thing, that’s what Apple does. But Rivian doesn’t have to agree to those terms to implement CarPlay (no one else has). It would be more honest for Rivian to tell their customers it's because they want to increase shareholder value by creating subscription revenue, but that’s bad for PR.

Given that GM, famous for saying they will never support CarPlay because they could build better software themselves, just fired 1,000 engineers – I imagine GM will backtrack and add CarPlay again soon. I look forward to Rivian doing the same as they enter the broader consumer market. When consumers can compare the R3 to a Volkswagen id.4, Rivian is going to have a very hard time winning customers – at least, based on today’s broken sales organization (a story for another day) and poor media, maps, and phone experience.

It’s a very sour point in an otherwise exceptional vehicle. If they had CarPlay this would be a 10/10 vehicle.

Let it be, then let it go

Sun, 18 Aug 2024 12:00:00 +0000

“Okay – so what if I’m in Banff, camping alone, filming a Banff Bourguignon recipefor YouTube, and it smells so good it attracts a bear. But the bear thinks I am what smells good, and the bear eats me for dinner.”

This is a conversation I’ve had with myself as I try to work through my anxiety for the adventure I’m about to start living.

“Well, I suppose Kelly or Lex could make a podcast about my death. But what if I’m filming a cooking video in a campground… and strangers… ask me questions… about what I’m doing?”

I mean, I would probably just answer them politely, give them a business card with my website address, and ask them to like and subscribe…

BUT WHAT IF A STRANGER TALKED TO ME?!

I’m thinking about these things because I’m about to embark on a wild, new adventure. Larger, riskier, and more exciting than anything I’ve tried before. And I’m trying to prevent my anxiety from ruining a once-in-a-lifetime experience that I hope can become something truly special.

I may not seem like it externally, but I am a very anxious person.

In my head, I have all these versions of me that I want to be one day. Versions of me I’m totally capable of being – but I often don’t do the things to get there, to become that version of myself, because of my anxiety. It’s not that I’m afraid of these things (okay, I’m afraid of bears). I’ve been afraid in the “I’m 16, working at Domino’s at 2am, and there’s a knife to my throat” kind of way.

This is anxiety – where my brain lies to me, telling me I would be better off if I lived a smaller, safer, gentler life where I don’t have things like needs or wants. This usually comes from my people pleasing tendencies (“well, what if I do a bad job and people judge me? What if I offend someone by doing something perfectly normal for myself?”).

Letting anxiety drive often has me shoving my own needs down to the bottom of the list, and generally being unhappy so other people can be comfortable instead.

Sharing this fact about me typically confuses people because I try so many things that many people never consider trying – like starting a software company, starting a YouTube channel, starting a granola company, and writing about it all on the Internet.

But I also avoid things many people consider easy, fun, and normal, like parties. Because what if a stranger talks to me?!

I’ve been learning to accept my anxiety, to “sit with the feeling” – which means I acknowledge that it’s there, but it doesn’t change my actions. This is the opposite of what I used to do, which was to immediately act, to do whatever it took to get rid of the anxious feeling, even if that action led to the opposite outcome I wanted.

I’ve spent many years acting to remove the feeling of anxiety, thinking it would make me happy, and it doesn’t. It just makes me not anxious for five minutes. “Not anxious” is not the same as being happy, content, or fulfilled.

I’m sharing all of this because I am now doing something ridiculous with my life, and while the reaction among my friends (and therapist) has been “sounds about right,” I also feel the need to explain that this adventure is full of uncertainty, it is extremely uncomfortable for me, but I am going to do it anyway because a fulfilling life I want to live could be on the other side of my discomfort.

There’s a version of me waiting to be realized. Maybe there’s a version of you waiting to be realized, too.

So, what am I doing with my life?

He said the sun's gonna rise tomorrow Somewhere on the east side of sorrow You better pack your bags west Stick out your chest, and then hit the road

The sun's gonna rise tomorrow Somewhere on the east side of sorrow Don't give it a reason to follow Let it be, then let it go

– Zach Bryan, East Side of Sorrow

I sold my house

I don’t have firm plans for where I am going to live. My intention is to move to Nova Scotia, buy vacant land, and build a new house from scratch. Before you comment – yes, my kitchen is beautiful but I am the one that made it beautiful AND I TELL YOU I WILL DO IT AGAIN!

I bought a Rivian R1T

It’s an electric pick-up truck. I’ve never had an electric car. Or a pick-up truck.

Stay tuned next week to learn more about buying electric cars and getting over range anxiety.

I will be driving across the country… camping in a pop up tent… on the back of my truck… filming a mobile cooking show… in National Parks… with an electric kitchen powered by my truck… for 2 months!

After the sale of my house closes in mid-September, I am going to drive from Kitchener to…

Tobermory, ON
Thunder Bay, ON
Winnipeg, MB
Regina, SK
Banff, AB
Kelowna, BC
Vancouver, BC
Tofino, BC
Seattle, WA
Portland, OR – I’ll be here for a bit, staying with friends
San Francisco, CA – I’ll be here for a bit, staying with friends
Either Yosemite, Sequoia, Joshua Tree, Grand Canyon, Craters of the Moon… or through Washington, Idaho, and Montana
Yellowstone, WY
Devil’s Tower, WY
Badlands, SD
Somewhere in MN
Somewhere in WI
Chicago, IL
Kitchener, ON
Montreal, QC
Quebec City, QC
St. John, NB
And ending up in Nova Scotia, where I’ll be staying with friends until I buy some land and build a house!

I’m embracing uncertainty to create possibility

There is so much on this journey I’ve needed to work through with myself, and new things I still have to work through.

I am leaving the city I’ve spent almost my entire life in (with a few years in Toronto which is an hour away).
I am leaving the behind the responsibility of being physically present for my dad (my sisters and nieces are still here, but traditionally that responsibility fallen on to me and I’ve used it as a reason not to live my own life).
I am not going to have a permanent home for at least the next two years, because building a house is complicated, time consuming, and expensive. How will I rest and recharge? How will I be warm? Where will I watch TV?!
I am not going to be able to be rescued by anyone except for strangers and CAA (who are ALSO strangers).
Will all of my worldly possessions be safe in storage? Can I trust professional movers with insurance with my things? (When I write it down like that you can see how ridiculous I am.)
What if I am still in the US during the election? (Canadians worry about this all the time.)
What if I need to poop or shower in the woods?! How do I live without a bidet after I’ve had one at home? (Note: I bought a portable bidet and an electric heated camping shower, and a pop-up privacy tent so I don’t need to poop near strangers! Also note: if you don’t have a bidet attachment for your toilet at home you are living in the 16th century. Shame. Shame. Shame.)
What if the truck breaks down? (I have 4 free tows with CAA membership). What if I break down? (I have an emergency kit in the car and I can afford a spa day). What if there’s no cell reception? (SOS on iPhone). What if I don’t like camping? (That’s what hotels are for, and I can book them the same day I need them! Hotels like money!) What if someone breaks into the truck? (I have insurance).

The list of arguments I’ve made not to do this very long. I made a Google Sheet. It has tabs.

This process is also forcing me to confront the gap between doing things the way they “should” be done, and doing things the way I enjoy them.

I know who I am and what I like. I’m not using a tiny, fossil fuel powered camping stove, I bought an induction cooktop for the truck. I’m bringing my good knives and All Clad pans to the woods. I’m going to have an oven and make bread (also powered by the car). Sure, there’s something primal about cooking on fire, but you aren’t even allowed to make a fire in most of the continent right now. Instead, this is going to be the bougiest overlanding experience, because I am a fancy man and even fancy people are allowed to commune with nature in their own way. And my way is pour over coffee in the woods! With my electric kettle! You can have your way!

The real difference here is that in the past I would have done what other people think is The One True Correct Manly Way To Camp™ . Instead, I’m not going to allow myself to feel judged for doing this in a way that feels right to me. I will be judged, but I don’t have to allow myself to feel judged.

I read much of this post to my therapist last week, and she was so pleased she gave me a gold star. As people pleaser this makes me feel deeply satisfied.

So in the spirit of Sarah Polley’s Run Towards The Danger (listen to this great piece on This American Life if you don’t want to read the book) – I am going headfirst into the unknown, to the places that make me feel uncomfortable, to see who I may become.

What’s that all mean here? Can I like and subscribe to this future? Are you writing again?

The short answer is yes, but I’m not making any promises on content.

I want to document this for myself and create content that doesn’t worry about growth or revenue or the algorithm. I have learned that I would rather have a regular job that pays the bills, which gives me the space for my creative work to be creative instead of content.

Since I’ve come to this conclusion I have made a few more YouTube videos. They will only be on YouTube. I do not care for TikTok or Reels. I do not care for 60 second snap cut videos. It’s fine if you like them. But I will be on YouTube with my slow pace and my dad jokes.

My intent – not commitment – is to do the following:

I will film recipe videos for YouTube and publish the recipes to my website. For me, the idea of making a devil's food cake at Devil’s Tower on Halloween, in an oven powered by an electric truck is hilarious. Will the algorithm like it? It doesn’t matter – it’s fun for me.
I will write this newsletter when I can (there are no longer paid subscriptions) and the topics will meander – will it be a travel journal? Therapy? A car buying guide? Instructions on how to build a passive house? You and I will discover that together.
I will post dailies on Instagram Stories. I like the easy, temporary nature of Stories. If you want to see photos and videos of the trip, that is where it will be.

Saying yes is saying no to something else

It’s really hard to set firm boundaries with myself on this, which is why I am writing this all down.

Already in planning this journey, I’ve met people who say “you need to document this entire process on video, from the beginning!” and I’m sure that’s true if I want to maximize growth. But I’m more interested in maximizing my fulfillment.

I might end up off grid, enjoying the solitude, and being present in nature. I might make a recipe video every day. I’m giving myself permission to have possibilities.

In summary, here are some recipes for chicken thighs, and for strawberry oat bars.

Both of these recipes are easy, cheap, low effort, and amazing.

If you like these videos, the best way to help my YouTube videos find a larger audience is to watch them all the way through, comment on the videos, and share them with your friends.

Onwards,

Marko

What I learned starting (and ending) a food business

Sun, 11 Feb 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Last summer I started a granola business under this same brand – Probably Worth Sharing – and I shut it down six months later, despite having relatively good sales for a new business. Today I’m going to share why I started selling granola, what worked, what didn’t, and why I ultimately shut the business down.

The short version? Starting up any business, but especially a food business, is Level 9 Tetris.

It’s exciting and with enough tries you can make it work, but one wrong move and it's game over. Often we hear about the successes while the failures quietly fade into the sunset. But over 90% of small businesses fail, yet they don’t occupy 90% of the stories we hear, which makes learning from failure an individual experience.

So while I had a lot of good experiences with my granola business, today I’m going to focus on how difficult it was to offer an honest perspective to anyone who’s considering starting a small food business, and to ask yourself questions on how you could make it successful.

I will also be publishing the commercial granola recipes on my website at some point. A few are up after being requested by customers. Since the business came out of a YouTube recipe video I made for granola, most of the recipes were already published.

*By far the best selling flavour was Morning Bun, selling 3x more than the next flavour.*

*The new packaging design is bittersweet for a number of reasons*

Why I started

I’m a great baker – but I am a home baker. When you’re a great home baker, almost everyone in your life will tell you something like:

“You should sell this granola!”

“You should open a bakery!”

“You should be on the Great Canadian Baking Show!”

Last year I tried all of these things. I quit my tech job in January 2023, my intent was to focus on my YouTube cooking show for a year, but through a series of large distractions I only made a handful of new recipe videos last year. Working alone, living alone, and without the distraction of colleagues, I found video creation to be very lonely and isolating work. I was my own roadblock and I missed having a team and community.

One of my distractions that I previously wrote about was my experience interviewing for The Great Canadian Baking Show – ultimately I made it through final interviews but did not get on the show. In interviewing, I learned that I’m not the kind of baker they want (or that would succeed on the show). My priority is on ingredient quality, flavour, and technique; the producers are focused on visual pizazz and storytelling, which makes sense for TV. There are bakers who can do both, but I am not one of them. Going through that experience helped me understand what kind of baker I am and want to be.

Based on that learning about myself, I decided to explore my age-old question: should I open a bakery? I had just published my granola recipe video on YouTube, and all of my friends said I should start selling granola. It felt like the perfect product to test out what a bakery could be like: it’s easy to make, shelf-stable, and I could sell it online.

I structured the granola business to get me into the local community. I would test it for six months to figure out if I liked it or not. In my mind this would be 1–2 days a week and I could still write this newsletter and make video on the side.

I vastly underestimated how much time and capacity this kind of business required.

*Putting wood finish on the booth my neighbour built for me for the Kitchener Market, with boxes of granola packaging on the back wall.*

What goes into starting a food business?

Food businesses are complicated due to the red tape involved – there’s a lot of food safety legislation (for good reason). This makes it very time consuming and expensive to start up.

The Province of Ontario, where I live, tried to change this in 2021, allowing home bakers to sell low risk food items, like bread, from their home kitchens. However, public health regulations are local. Laws in municipalities like Waterloo Region, where I live, supersede the Province.

In Waterloo Region, a home based kitchen needs to be:

In a home zoned for commercial baking use – which my house is not
In a separate kitchen from your living space, such as in a basement or garage
Compliant with full public health regulations for a kitchen space, with the exception of not requiring a separate hand wash sink (which is laughably cheap to put in in the context of all the other requirements).

Waterloo Region’s view of this law is that you must have a second commercial kitchen in your home. I don’t believe it follows the spirit of the law created for low risk food items (which includes bread and granola). While I appreciate the intent, after what I’ve seen working in a shared commercial kitchen, it’s not increasing food safety. It’s increasing the cost and burden for low risk bakeries to start up in a cost efficient, safe way. It’s causing new businesses to take on extremely high costs and rental contracts.

Many bakery items need to be baked and sold on the same day, so I decided to sell granola because it’s a shelf stable, packaged good that can be sold direct at markets, through retailers, and online. It would give me more flexibility to move product. If sales were bad I could hold off making new product until I sold inventory.

It’s 2–3 months of work to even get started

Given these requirements, I needed to find shared space I could rent. Here’s everything I needed to figure out before my first day in the kitchen:

Set up a business: I had already set up my sole proprietorship to handle my income from this newsletter, book sales, and YouTube, and kept the granola as another activity within this business.
Find a shared kitchen: I rented a shared kitchen space for 8 hours, one day per week in a shared kitchen. This cost $800/m. This was the minimum amount of time required to rent, and I was required to sign a 1-year lease that I could end after six months.
Get a business license to operate out of that kitchen: The business license itself is required to produce food products in the City of Kitchener. It costs $130/year. This required me to have the kitchen inspected, my product labels completed and approved by Public Health, and I needed my Safe Food Handlers certificate. This process took six weeks, but could take up to twelve weeks.
Get Safe Food Handlers: An online course that takes 8 hours and costs ~$40.
Find a place to sell granola: In my case that was online, at the Kitchener Market, and wholesale to retailers. This required a bunch of stuff:
- An ecommerce platform, which was initially Squarespace, then Shopify.
- A booth at the Farmer’s Market ($160/m), which required its own business license ($130/year), point of sale hardware (3% of sales), a physical booth, and signage, and marketing materials. I also needed to obtain approval from the Kitchener Market on the products I was allowed to sell.
- A wholesale invoicing platform (Stripe, 3% of sales).
- Get business insurance: I needed general liability insurance, as well as coverage for the shared kitchen, and for the Kitchener Market.
- Set up business banking: This makes accounting much easier.
- Packaging and labeling: I needed Public Health to sign off on my packaging since I was selling a retail product. To figure out packaging and labeling that was compliant with CFIA regulations, I used FoodLabelMaker ($50/m) to make CFIA compliant nutrition labels, and it also meant fixing my recipes in stone due to needing to match the printed labels. I then had to design and source labels, as well as bags for granola.
- Make a website: I had to set up an online presence on my website, and ancillary services like Google Merchant Centre, Facebook and Instagram products, and figure out an online store.
- Learn how to ship products: I had to open a Canada Post Business Account. Later, when I moved to Shopify I discovered the massive discounts Shopify has (compared to buying labels yourself) which cut my shipping costs from $22.50 to $10 per order.
- Set up HST: For non-Ontario residents, HST is our combined Provincial and Federal sales tax (13%). You have to register for, collect, and remit HST once you sell more than $30,000 in one quarter. I had crossed the HST billing threshold quite quickly, which meant I had to register for HST and set up a call with the CRA to determine the HST status of granola. Granola is quite confusing in the HST rules. If it’s marketed as cereal? It has no HST. It’s zero rated, which means you can still get input tax credits (a rebate on the HST you spend vs what you owe). However, if it’s marketed as a snack food, like granola bars? Then it has HST. HST became further complicated since shipping costs for online orders have HST. This is what necessitated my move to Shopify, as Squarespace could not do zero-rated products + HST on shipping (a restriction in their platform for Canada only).

All of this work had to be done before I could make a single batch of granola for commercial sale.

*My first outdoor market – all of the samples blew away in the wind and the chocolate chips melted in the sun. I got a sunburn. Only my friends bought granola, but I did get to meet a baby.*

The space creates challenges

I didn’t really know what questions to ask as I got started with making granola and very quickly ran into many restrictions based on the decisions I made for where I would make, store, and sell granola:

At the Kitchener Market: I had a small, 4-foot booth with no sink. Because I did not have a sink, I was not able to prepare samples at the Market. Everything had to be pre-packaged, including samples. Samples had to be pre-made in the commercial kitchen in closed containers. This meant I could only give out samples of dry granola, not with yogurt. If I wanted to sell parfaits, they all had to be pre-made (risking a lot of food waste if they weren’t sold). This also meant part of my kitchen day had to be dedicated to preparing samples, and it was another component to track inventory of.
In the shared kitchen: Because I was working in a shared kitchen, I could not make claims like gluten free (since I shared baking sheets with people making bread) or kosher (since the facility processed both fish and tallow). Not having these claims limited the appetite of health food stores to carry the product, which is where more affluent buyers who value organic products with compostable packaging shop.
Shipping limitations: In order to legally ship across Provinces, you need an interprovincial export license from the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA). This means you need to be in a CFIA-compliant kitchen, which I was not in. CFIA compliance is an increased level of food safety and inventory control management processes. This is so that you can do things like facilitate batch-level recalls in the case of food safety issues, like contamination. In order to legally ship to the USA, you need an export license, which requires CFIA compliance. It’s a whole process, it takes years.
Organic limitations: Ontario does not regulate organic claims, but as soon as you sell across Provinces you need a Canada Organic certification and be subject to an audit (which just means keeping a log of all your ingredient inputs). To sell to the USA you need to apply to transfer Canada Organic to USDA Organic. This means all product inputs going into the system must have Canada Organic and USDA Organic seals. It’s a whole process, it also takes years.

The shared kitchen had its own set of complications:

To find margin, I needed to buy ingredients at the pallet level. For example, 1kg of local organic oats cost me $2/kg, but only if I bought a pallet at a time. It was worthwhile, because as a consumer, those same oats cost $7.50/kg. I used an average of 50kg of oats per week. However, this meant needing more storage space – so I had to rent more storage space in the shared kitchen.
Pallet deliveries to the kitchen would show up whenever they wanted, with no notice – so on a random day, at a random time I would have to drop what I was doing to go deal with a pallet. Was a $4,000 order of ingredients safely delivered or left outside in the rain? Did someone receive it and is it now in the middle of their workspace, and my inventory is making someone else’s day worse? It was a surprise every time.
The shared kitchen was a very toxic work environment for many reasons: there was bullying and harassment from a specific tenant I shared space with. There was theft of my materials and tools. Every week the space and tools were left dirty by other tenants, which I had to re-sanitize before starting my shift. There were deficiencies that would have shut the kitchen down during an inspection, like the handwash sink being broken for a month. There was overloading tenants during exclusive use periods – once five different businesses were operating in the kitchen during the same shift (only two are allowed at a time). Often other tenants would be using my equipment during my shift. There was a lack of climate control, meaning ingredients like chocolate chips would melt together when stored at room temperature in the Summer. The water heater would fail in the Winter. When I brought up the issues, the landlord would respond with a shrug, and eventually turned to retaliation when I made complaints – making working there even worse. This is the worst environment I have ever worked in in my life, and I previously spent 8 years working in commercial kitchens.
Due to limited storage in the kitchen, I would have to bring finished product to my house for storage, and run order fulfillment from home. This always made me very uncomfortable because it’s not strictly compliant (everybody does it anyway). I did not want to create a pest problem in my own home by storing so much granola there. Eventually I bought a locked cabinet for the Kitchener Market to store product there, but that had its own challenges too in terms of physical access due to the Market’s hours.
This created so much extra physical labour because I did not have a stable place of business. I had to constantly shuttle 150–300 bags of granola (110 to 220lbs) from the kitchen to my house to the Market and back to my house every week.

Given how terrible my experience in the shared kitchen was, I started exploring alternative locations. I explored a few avenues, which included:

Find other shared space. Unfortunately, there is no other shared bakery kitchen space available in Waterloo Region with bakery sized ovens. There are shared kitchens for cooking, but they have small, home-sized ovens. The City of Kitchener is exploring building one at the Market, but with an even higher hourly rate, and ever changing opening dates due to a lack of funding. This went from September to February (and still no plan in place) while I was exploring this. Given the low margins in food businesses, small business owners are going to prioritize a bad working environment with lower costs, since compromising their own work environment is better than compromising on product.
I could build a kitchen in my basement, but it would require re-zoning my house to allow a commercial bakery in my basement ($10,000 for a zoning amendment with no guarantee of success) + renovating my basement to support a commercial kitchen ($50,000+) and commercial equipment ($75,000+). However I wouldn’t have a retail location, keeping many of my existing sales challenges, and I would need to convert my home insurance and mortgage to be commercial. It would be substantially complex and expensive work with no guarantee of success.
I could lease commercial space to build out my own kitchen space with a retail bakery. I was exploring this path quite seriously in October, just before my dad had a stroke. Working on this while my dad was in the hospital was very challenging. Another part of the challenge is granola: I would have to do a gluten free bakery to have the products be certified gluten free. Another challenge is location, granola is not a destination so there has to be foot traffic. I had found space I liked, but everything in commercial real estate operates differently than residential real estate. It’s slow. The occupancy date moved from November, to December, to February, and it’s February now and the building still isn’t ready for tenants. You are required to use commercial contractors, which dramatically increases costs for build-out. I had originally thought $200,000 would be enough financing to make this happen – but after getting closer to a final rental agreement and build-out costs, I would have needed at least $400,000 to complete a build-out, buy equipment, and have 1-year of operating capital to figure out the business. I would also need to personally guarantee payments on a 5-year lease, so if the business failed I would still be paying thousands of dollars in monthly rent out of my own pocket. I could have tried to squeak by with the financing I had available, but I’d be one crisis away from everything failing – and I was living through my dad’s health crisis at the time. So I walked away from it.

*I started to get much better at food styling by taking photos nearly every day. I felt terrible about the food waste from doing one large photo shoot, so I started taking photos of my breakfast instead – which made for intense mornings.*

The margins are awful (unless you compromise)

I sold granola for $12.99 per bag, which is very expensive, but I needed this price point to have margin – the amount of money left after accounting for all of my costs to make one bag of granola. Note that margin is not profit, as you still need to calculate the cost of selling the product. This is just the cost to make and package the product.

The main cost I could lower was overhead: labour and kitchen costs; I didn't want to compromise on ingredient quality or compostable packaging. To lower overhead, I would need to optimize how I used my time on my kitchen day. On bake day, I needed to be able to do inventory, make as much granola as I could, make samples, move finished products out, and clean the space within an 8-hour shift.

In theory, working in the kitchen should have looked like this:

Spend 30 minutes on inventory, prep and pre-heating the oven
Spend 6 hours baking and cooling (overlapping packaging by 2 hours)
Spend 4 hours packaging (overlapping with baking by 2 hours)
Spend 30 minutes on cleanup

In theory, the oven was my limiting factor. I did some simple math to figure out if this could work:

Each baking sheet makes 5 x 330g bags of granola
I can fit 5 full baking sheets in the oven at once
Each bake takes 30 minutes
In 6 hours of baking, that’s 12 bakes
So 5 bags x 5 baking sheets x 12 bakes = 300 bags of granola per day as my upper limit

The bullet point version sounds like a great business. At $12.99 each that’s nearly $4,000 a week in sales! That’s over $200,000 a year in sales! Great for a 1-day a week business!

Reality check

But it turns out that packaging 300 bags of granola by hand takes 8 hours. I could have solved this by buying a $10,000 weigh-filling machine, but that’s a long-term investment. It’s the perennial small business question: do I spend $10,000 on equipment to save on labour? I can spend $200/week to have a human package granola. The machine only saves money after a year of use or scaling up the number of production days. Plus, there was nowhere to store it in the shared kitchen.

Because packaging took so long this meant in practice I could only produce 150 bags of granola per bake day if I was working alone, and only 200 if I had help.

It turned out that working in the kitchen was more like this:

Arrive to find someone else already using my oven, set to 500 degrees, and wait 2 hours for the oven to be free and cooled down.
Arrive to find equipment like bowls and utensils put away dirty, or my station left with other tenants materials, and spend those 2 hours documenting all of these issues and cleaning someone else’s mess so I can work from a sanitary environment.
Fall further behind in my schedule because the dish pit was left overloaded while another tenant went out for a smoke break, or there were five tenants working at the same time, which meant I could not continue working unless I did their dishes for them or put them on the floor.
Have my tools or ingredients mysteriously disappear, so I would need to run to the store so I could continue working.

This meant that in practice I needed help, and with help I could still only make 150–200 bags of granola per bake day. This made my costs look like this:

Kitchen: $180 per bake day
Helper: $200 per bake day ($25/h)
My labour: $200 per bake day ($25/h)

In practice I did not pay myself, but those labour costs need to be modeled anyway. Many people do not model their labour, but you need to model it into your costs even if you do not pay yourself. Assuming your business works you’ll need to backfill this role with someone you pay. If you don’t model this, you’re setting yourself up to lose money over the long-term and invest in a non-profitable business model.

These costs became my overhead. Using 150 bags per day, my overhead costs were $3.85 per bag of granola. For the full cost, I included:

Overhead: $3.85 per bag
Packaging: ~$1.50 per bag (this varied over time)
Ingredient costs: Average $2.75/bag (depending on flavour)

This makes my total cost (ignoring sales overhead) of ~$8 per bag. That’s $4.99 in margin! So great!

Actually, it’s not.

*Me at Vincenzo’s for Demo Day. This was one week after my dad had his stroke, and the first day I didn’t visit him. It was on the day he was moving to the first rehab facility, and the start of his sudden decline. My friend Nigel ran the second demo day without me, since my dad had become paralyzed that day. So much of my granola experience is wrapped up with my dad being in the hospital. The only reason I noticed my dad was having a stroke was because he picked me up from the kitchen that day.*

The Math Doesn’t Math

There is no girl math in a food business. You can only be delulu for so long.

It’s important to figure out everywhere labour goes into the business, which means needing to calculate how much it costs to sell and fulfill orders, and how much time goes into business admin work. Once you track your time you realize what your job actually is.

In my head I was starting a bakery, I would be a baker. When you start a small business you are in sales. Instagram promotion? You’re doing sales. Working at a pop-up market? You’re doing sales. Trying to get retail wholesale clients? You’re doing sales. Hustling samples at the Kitchener Market? You’re doing sales.

You have to pay salespeople. Sales is very hard work.

You have to experiment to find a market. All of the experiments have costs.

One experiment? I explored doing outdoor pop-up markets. This requires having a folding table, tablecloth, tent, signage, mobile point of sale, mobile inventory storage, and at the time I was selling parfaits so I also needed a cooler… and a Public Health permit. And to pay the costs of the market. Plus the costs of promotion, travel, setup, and teardown. I did not find the pop-up markets I did to be worthwhile.

Retail margin

Selling wholesale to retailers is a great way to change who you sell to: instead of everyone, it’s a smaller number of relationships with stores. But the math sucks.

Retailers want to have a 50% markup from the wholesale price. This means:

Wholesale price: For simple math, imagine I sell at a wholesale price of $10 to the retailer.
Markup: The retailer wants to markup that by 50% of the wholesale price: $10 * 50% = $5 markup
Retail price: That makes the retail cost $15 ($10 wholesale cost + $5 markup)
Price matching: The retailer wants to sell at the same price you sell directly, so that pricing is competitive across the market. This means your margin should be developed from your wholesale price, not your direct sale price.

Since I’m a small vendor and have good local relationships, I got away with slightly less than a 50% markup. I sold wholesale for $8.99 and retailed for $12.99. This is ~45% markup.

If you remember, my cost per bag of granola is $8. This means I only took home $0.99 for every bag of granola sold at retail. I sold quite a lot through retail, but I did not make a lot of money.

At Vincenzo’s, on demo day weekend, we sold over 200 bags of granola in two days. It felt like a resounding success. So much momentum! The people love granola! It’s an investment in recurring customers!

However, at wholesale prices that’s only $200 in margin. For demo days, I had to staff Vincenzo’s with two people for two 8-hour days. That makes the sales labour cost $800, not to mention all the time that was involved to win Vincenzo’s as a customer and the pre-work to set up for demo days.

Despite the “success”, I lost $600 on the Vincenzo’s demo days (they were still worth doing and a lot of fun given my personal circumstances). Theoretically, this is an investment into a market and long-term retail relationship. The goal is to get new customers hooked to become repeat customers, and measure this based on the customer lifetime value, not just the single purchase.

I had great repeat customers at Vincenzo’s, they’re an exceptional retailer and great to team partner with. This type of work is worthwhile, but I’m sharing this negative view as a sobering reminder of the hard costs of this type of business. You cannot blindly mistake momentum for profitability.

*Jordan, owner of Legacy Greens, posing with fully stocked granola shelves and holiday flavours. Jordan is an amazing retail partner and member of our community who was a huge help and supporter through this whole journey. Jordan’s little store is a powerhouse that sold through as much granola as Vincenzo’s.*

Retail client management is hard work

There’s a perception that getting into retail locations means you’ve made it, and you’ll fly off the shelves. In practice, retail sales management is a lot of work:

You’re investing the time in going door-to-door to meet with shops with your sales pitch, or partnering with a co-packer (who has their own cut of margin) who already has the relationships.
You’re gambling on first order payments. Will the product sell? Will they pay? Retailers really have most of the bargaining power here. Vincenzo’s wanted our first order on consignment, meaning I would only be paid after the inventory was sold (or returned after 2 months). Other retailers took 90–120 days to pay, and only paid after repeated reminders. If you’re selling to small businesses you don’t have relationships with, start from a cash on delivery (COD) model if you can.
Orders still have to be invoiced, packed, and delivered, which is all labour that must be accounted for.
For mid-size independent retailers, you need to check inventory and remind them to re-order.
Since I had such a slim retail margin, that quickly disappeared when you considered the costs of managing the relationship and fulfilling orders.

My friend Nigel, who loves sales (I do not), really helped me here. He also researched what it meant to get into larger independent retailers with five or more stores, and with chain retail. As a small vendor you have very low leverage. In many cases, a grocery store contract would look like this:

Exclusive purchase rights for specific markets, which would sabotage your relationships with independent retailers
Products would be purchased on consignment, so you’re only paid after sales are completed after a specific time window
They have long return windows, so if product doesn’t sell it’s returned to you (often after it’s staled or expired so you can’t sell it anywhere)
They want a guarantee on markup, which means the retailer can lower your price if they can’t move product at your suggested price. The retailer could discount granola to $5 instead of returning it. They would want a guaranteed 50% markup. At $5 retail, the whole wholesale must be $3.25. That means I would owe them the difference between what they paid ($8.99) and what they could sell for ($3.25). It's a high reward if it works, and a great way to lose money if you don’t test the market enough before pursuing larger retailers.

I also tried listing on Faire, but without offering substantial discounts and samples, it’s very difficult to get retailers to take a bet on a new product. My original packaging was also not appealing for the Shoppy Shop type buyer. The pricing model on Faire requires you to guarantee the same price you sell anywhere else, but Faire takes 10%, so ultimately that ate any margin I had in the product. Investing in selling on Faire just didn’t make sense for me.

There was a lot more to explore in retail – like offering packaged free samples – but packaging is so expensive from both a physical cost and labour point of view – that I did not want to invest anymore time or money here.

Farmer’s Market Margin

The Kitchener Market was, conceptually, the place with my highest sales margin. A direct sale to the customer! And for a few months it was great: I would sell out 100–150 bags of granola every Saturday. But the Kitchener Market is very seasonal. By the time winter rolled around I would sell ten bags of granola on Saturday.

Is granola just seasonal? Is it the product? Is Kitchener excited about supporting “new” but not recurring? Is it the “we’re not technically in a recession but everyone’s tightened their wallets” economy? Or is granola a grocery store purchase? I didn’t have the same seasonality impact at retailers.

The last few months at the Market didn’t work for me because of the high operating costs:

I would need two hours of labour in the kitchen every week to make samples for the Market, since they had to be pre-made and sealed. That’s $50 of labour and $50 in materials for sample cups and product each week.
The Market needs inventory management, setup and teardown each week. So while it’s open 7am–2pm, it needs to have someone there at least 6:30am–2:30pm. That puts weekly labour cost at $225 per week. If I wanted a Saturday off I would have to find someone to work for me and train them.
The booth cost was $40 per week.
That makes the operating costs $365 per week.

For direct sales my margin was $4.99 ($12.99 less $8 in costs). That meant I needed to sell at least 73 bags of granola per week to cover my operating costs of $365 (4.99 margin * 73 bags = $364 in margin). Anything over that was profit, anything less and that week operated at a loss. For the last 3 months I was losing money every single week operating out of the Kitchener Market.

I tried adding additional products to increase weekly return to the booth, like selling vegan yogurt – but that vendor I sourced from had quality control issues, and I had to throw out/refund yogurt that had gone bad quite often. I tried selling parfaits and caramels, which sold very well, but there was so much complexity in fitting this into my limited kitchen schedule and limited storage that I simply couldn’t do it all. Because I had no sink, I could not prepare these on demand at the booth. I was creating so many distractions from the core business (granola) when the problem is that the sales channel was not effective.

Don’t get me wrong here: I want the Kitchener Market to work. I love the Market. I have lived beside the Kitchener Market for 10 years. I shop there all the time. It’s a core part of Kitchener’s identity and downtown. But the team running the Market, who are great, are not set up to enable the Market to be successful. There is zero marketing for the Kitchener Market. Marketing is run by the City, not the Kitchener Market team – which is a huge disgrace. It means experiments, like the Wednesday Market (which I took part in – sales and foot traffic both sucked), are huge failures because nobody knows they exist. Nobody knows that the Kitchener Market is great in the Winter (or maybe they don’t want to walk in the cold).

The Kitchener Market worked hard to bring in so many cool new vendors and nobody knows they are there and the team running the Market has no way to tell anyone about them.

Online Margin

Online is a very difficult business due to the costs of shipping. People do not want to pay for the cost of shipping. Buying my own shipping labels from Canada Post cost an average of $21.50. The costs are the same whether I ship one bag or six bags of granola. And then there’s the cost of boxes! Boxes cost $1–2 each. And then there’s the costs of tape, and paper padding, and printing shipping labels, and the labour costs of packing boxes and getting them to the post office! And replacing shipments when there’s damage, like a bag of granola pops open.

To offer free shipping I calculated that when I sold six bags of granola at a discounted price of $75, I had enough margin ($4.99 * 6 bags, minus $2.94 discount = $27) to cover the cost of shipping and still make $5.50 to cover the labour costs of packing and shipping orders. It sounds great in theory, but who wants to buy 6 bags of granola at once, particularly bougie expensive granola that they’ve never tasted?

And who wants to pay $20 to ship a single bag of granola, making the cost $35 for one bag of granola?

Once I moved from Squarespace to Shopify for my online store, I could use Shopify’s shipping tools to calculate shipping costs per order and pass that right to the consumer. Shipping costs went down to $10 per order, but it’s still fairly prohibitive when you can head to the nearest grocery store to buy Harvest Crunch for $4.99, or walk to Legacy Greens to grab my granola without the shipping costs. Better for the customer, worse for my margin.

I started to question if I should run online at a loss: lose money on shipping to generate online orders, to create repeat customers and momentum. Or do I run this profitably and scale at a slower pace? I chose profitability. I thought about offering free or $1 samples, but the logistics of safely packaging and shipping those economically was something I didn’t have capacity to figure out.

The biggest turning point online was when I did a discount on my old packaging – dozens of people were ordering 10 bags at a time. I can’t believe how much a modest discount encourages orders. Discount week was huge for me (at the expense of margin).

*I started re-using boxes for shipping larger orders, since every order needed its own box size.*

Other notes on online

I don’t have a car, so my options for shipping online orders was to either walk them to Canada Post (a 1km walk) or have Canada Post pick up from my house in 1–2 days (delaying orders getting out). In order to have Canada Post pick up from my house, I would have to use my home address as the “From:” address which I wasn’t comfortable with.

I tried integrating with a wide array of online tools – Facebook and Instagram Marketplace, Google Merchant Centre, and experimented with running Google Ads. My background is online marketing, but I could not get the online store to convert, I suspect because of shipping costs. I spent over $1,000 on experiments that really didn’t generate any sales.

If you are exploring an online store, Shopify has a much more robust integration into these social selling systems than Squarespace. Speaking of Squarespace, I started there because it’s what I know and my existing website was already on. Eventually I moved to Shopify because of the HST compliance issues I listed above. I used Square for my Kitchener Market presence. Eventually I moved both of those, and wholesale ordering, to Shopify. If I did it again I would use Shopify for everything from day one. The integrations and compliance for Canadian sales are substantially better, and the savings on shipping costs will help drive sales.

Lastly, turning your home into an online fulfillment center is a terrible experience. This was another downfall of working out shared kitchen space. I lost the use of my dining room as it became filled with cardboard boxes, tape, printers, packing paper, and granola. It was unrelenting chaos.

*Even though I had decided to shut the business down, I still did a full photo shoot and launch for the new packaging. It looks so great and I wanted to keep a memory of it.*

Time suck

In my mind this was going to be a casual, fun baking experiment – a small business I can run on the weekends. I’d get to be in the community, get some social time, play around in the kitchen, and still have time to have a life and make YouTube videos.

I was very wrong.

Here’s what a typical week looked like for me:

Monday: Apply for grants and other funding, work on grant-related work, research business strategies, work on business strategy, accounting, and admin.
Tuesday: Online order fulfillment, photography for social posts, social media scheduling, replying to so many online messages, wholesale account follow-ups, wholesale account sales, and invoicing.
Wednesday: Bake day planning, grocery shopping, ingredient inventory management and ordering.
Thursday: Wake up at 5am so I could eat and shower before work. Pack the car at 6:30, get to the kitchen for 7:00. Work until 3:00 without a lunch break (no time!). Pack the car, unload granola at home. Eat at 4:00pm.
Friday: Fulfill wholesale orders, inventory for the Market, pack for the Market.
Saturday: Wake up at 5am so I could eat and shower before work. Leave for the Market by 6:15, work until 2:00pm without a lunch break (who’s going to watch the booth? I can’t take my Invisalign out at the booth to eat there.). Pack everything up and carry it home. Eat empanadas for lunch at 3:00.
Sunday: Rest?

How’s that for my sweet one-day a week job? Now imagine this chaos of adding in demo days, pop-up outdoor markets, my dad being in the hospital for two months, and trying to have a relationship.

A business like this is a relentless pace of trying to generate awareness and create sales and not conducive to having anything else in your life. It was never ending and exhausting.

On social media everyone saw the success, and behind the scenes I was falling apart – having lost my ability to stop, to rest, to have fun, to be present. I was a mess.

*One of the original iterations of the website.*

Packaging

I’m a stubbornly values driven individual. So when it came to packaging I chose to go with compostable. Compostable packaging is relatively new. It’s 3x the cost of disposable packaging. Initially, to keep my upfront costs down, I went with blank compostable bags that I put compostable stickers on. This was high in labour costs, but low in upfront commitment. These compostable bags cost $1.94 each once you factored in the labour of stickering them, but I could buy as few as 200 at a time.

Eventually I got printed compostable packaging from RooTree, based in Burlington, Ontario. RooTree has a small business program called The Pouch Collective, where they pool small orders together to give you at scale discounts. Everyone who’s doing the same size bag runs on the same day to save costs. For comparison, a small run of printed compostable bags would normally cost $2.05 per bag, but with the Pouch Collective discounts they were only $1.37 per bag. You can get a quantity as low as 500 units.

You have to follow their timing to get this discount. I started this process in August, and due to miscommunications within their team, I missed the deadline for the September program (by one day). This meant I did not get my order until just before Christmas. When I placed the order I was excited about the granola business, and by the time I got the order 3 months later I decided to shut down the business. The quality of the bags and printing is great, and I’m very pleased with them. They look very professional. They feel nice. They stand up and stand out in retail. And I spent $7,500 on bags I am not going to use.

Deciding that I would give up an investment of thousands of dollars on unused packaging was a difficult decision, but was the right one for me to make.

Similarly, I don’t expect many other small business owners to make the choice to go compostable at current prices. Printed conventional bags – meaning, throw them in the trash or make ocean waste – would cost $0.60 each. That’s a difference of $0.77 in margin per bag, which would nearly double my wholesale margin. But I did not want to compromise my values or add more plastic waste to this planet to create profit for myself. I would rather do something where I can add value to the world, not create further harm.

The costs of compostables will come down over time, but these are new processes and new materials. We need government programs to subsidize these costs until they can become competitive with conventional materials made from fossil fuel byproducts.

*Originally I had planned to make a Christmas campaign of 80’s mom recipes, like the Campbell’s soup cookbooks. Make snowballs with coconut cream pie granola! Turn carrot cake into a cobbler for a last-minute dessert!*

Deciding to wind down

Deciding to wind down the granola business was very difficult, but I think based on the math in this post, very obvious. It was happening at a very difficult time of my life. My dad was just out of two months in the hospital, my boyfriend at the time had just broken up with me, sales at the Market were miserable, and I had just made these large investments into the business – like spending $7,500 on packaging.

Was I making this decision for the right reasons? Or was I trying to control something when everything else was horrible?

But I know myself well. I’ve thought through the whole business and the math didn’t math.

Sure, I could have pushed through all these challenges. I’ve done it before. I did that with my software startup, FunnelCake. But I also know that I burned myself out doing that. FunnelCake was a very difficult business (a story for another day) and now granola was proving to be a very difficult business. I feel that I’ve had enough difficult businesses for one lifetime. It’s not something I need to prove to myself. I’d rather be content and spend time with the people I love.

The decision was made complicated because I had everyone else’s opinion, asked for or not, on the decision.

“You were so happy in the summer when you started the granola business, I’ve never seen you so joyful!”

While true, I started the granola business the same day I started dating someone. The fun around Granola Daddy is only because of my ex, who made up the name for me on our first date – he was also my first customer. Having lost both the granola business and the relationship, I can say with certainty that it was the relationship that brought that joy everyone felt.

“The product is so good!”

Great, then why aren’t people buying it? Why aren’t you buying it?

“You just made such a big investment, you’re just going to walk away from that?”

Yes, why would I choose to be miserable for years because I made a bad financial decision, when I can move on instead? I often joke with friends that “I’ve spent more money on stupider things” when I buy something frivolous. While I can’t say that here, I’ve at least set a high bar for that statement in the future. I recognize that I’m in a very privileged position to be able to walk away from this business without negatively impacting anything except my ego and my bank account, and many people feel trapped by the time they get this far into a business financially.

*Mike Morrice, my Member of Parliament, came out to our fundraiser for Food4Kids Waterloo Region*

The good that came of it

This is a mostly negative post, but there was a lot of joy that came out of this experience for me.

Hosting the Bake-A-Thon for Food4Kids Waterloo Region was one of best things I’ve ever done in my life. It was fun, it was fully inline with my value system, and it was a huge success. It also helped me see where my skills are in grassroots community marketing, leadership, and management.

Even while shutting down I was able to do some good: in January I donated over 500lbs of ingredients I had left – like oats, nuts, seeds, and oils – to Tiny Home Takeout in Kitchener, so the ingredients could be put to good use feeding those in need in our community.

I got to have a lot of fun with my friends: Kelly did her best Costco Sample lady impression at my booth at the Market. Nigel helped with wholesale and worked at the Market with his son. Nick helped weigh and vacuum seal ingredients. Jin Sol stickered bags. The Humble Lotus made sushi with granola (ask for the cookies and cream cheese eel). Chantalle, my Market booth neighbour, became my Saturday company. Elaine said “… but what if we got Elsa?” and then did. Jordan from Legacy Greens said she would sell my granola when it was just a YouTube video, and then actually did sell it when it was a retail product – as well as sharing her incredibly helpful business advice.

Then there’s everyone who went to every grocery store in Waterloo Region to find me organic citrus each week. And my dad, who loved to come hang out in the kitchen every week, he always swept the floors and helped me cart the granola to-and-from the kitchen to my house.

So much of the fun I had came from my relationship at the time. My ex named me Granola Daddy when buying the first bag of granola I ever sold. He helped me run the Bake-A-Thon, he came up with ads I ran at local movie theatres, wrote the copy for the new packaging, suggested the colour blocked photo shoot, Memoji Marko, and so many other ways he supported me during this time.

I’ll be forever grateful for the joy that all these people brought into this otherwise bad experience. It’s the people who make the work worth doing.

I’m also glad to see I stayed within my value system, and I moved on when my values would need to be compromised. For example:

I stayed with more expensive compostable bags instead of switching to disposable packaging, even though it was 3x more expensive.
I stayed with locally sourced ingredients and suppliers, even though it was 50% more expensive.
I stayed with organic ingredients, which are often 50% more expensive.
I kept the quality of the product instead of reducing the quantity of expensive ingredients (like nuts and seeds) and replacing with cheaper fillers, even though that would have improved margin.
I paid anyone who helped me a living wage, instead of minimum wage, at the expense of margin.
I kept my work/life balance and tried my best to maintain my relationships.

It’s easy to chip at these values one by one, and years later no longer recognize yourself or what you’re doing. I made a promise to myself when I started that I would not compromise what I believe in for the sake of business growth. I always said that if I can’t do it within my values system, I will not do it. I’m proud that I stuck by that promise to myself.

I also learned that I don’t want to do this kind of production work full time, which is better to learn before investing in my own kitchen. I think in the context of a bakery-cafe things would be different – there’s more room for fun, for relationships, for experimentation, for a team – but when it comes to a direct-to-consumer retail product, and working out of transient locations, this is not a business I enjoy. I do not want to bake the same thing at scale every single day. I do not want to be subjected to toxic work environments I can’t change.

For me, baking is a place for experimentation and finding joy. It’s a creative pursuit, not a labour. Turning it into work ruined it for me. In losing my love and energy for baking I lost the way that I made space for myself at home. That’s not going to be true for everyone, but it’s true for me.

I can’t say that the negative experiences, particularly how toxic the kitchen environment was, didn’t have an impact on how I view this experience. But the cost of having my own commercial kitchen is too high, especially given the challenges the business faced.

It’s also a question of what kind of life I want to have. What does work enable me to do? To have the same take-home pay as I made in my last role in the tech industry, I would need to sell over 1,000 bags of granola in direct sales, or 5,000 bags wholesale, every single week – a hilarious task given I could make 150–200 bags per week. To produce that much is an entirely different scale of production and investment into the business that would take years to achieve – if at all. It would also require a whole team to execute, which then multiplies those numbers even further.

Over the past few years I’ve made some amazing friendships in the food and small business community, meeting new friends with their own pop-ups and restaurants and stores. Some of these pop-ups and restaurants and stores have shut down. Before I did this myself I wondered why – I loved their products, I loved the reason to see them in the community, I didn’t understand why they stopped. Now I do, and I wanted to share this so you understand why I stopped, too.

There are so many other lessons to share here – around commercial recipe development, packaging design and compliance, social media, wholesale, community development, and I could probably write a whole book about the drama that happened in the kitchen – but I am closing this chapter. I want to move on from it onto topics that bring me joy in the kitchen. Someone else can share those lessons.

In the end I decided to stop the business, accept the loss on my investment into it, and move on with my life – and get a more traditional job again, somewhere I can do some good in the world.

*No pain, no gain?*

What’s next?

As far as this newsletter and my YouTube channel are concerned, I am going to continue these as creative pursuits, but not primary income sources. Over the last year I learned that once I monetized my newsletter and video content I lost the joy I felt in the work. I struggled with the tension of asking for paid subscribers, of feeling forced onto a never ending commitment of content, and asking if I’m “creating value” or “creating for the algorithm” instead of, well, creating because its fun to create. I often felt so much guilt and shame if I didn’t keep up the pace of content I set out for myself.

Of all the work I’ve done over the last year, this newsletter has had the most impact on the outside world. The content people loved most are the pieces that only loosely fit the value proposition I made for the paid subscription. The content people love is about vulnerability. The piece about my mom dying, about The Last of Us, about my weight gain and weight loss, and about the impact my dad’s stroke had on my life. Sure, people loved the bean recipes, but you can get bean recipes from anyone. I felt, and continue to feel, uncomfortable charging people for “well, maybe I’ll write something meaningful and you get no additional value, you’re just giving me money because you want to!”

A few weeks ago, I silently paused my Substack paid subscriptions, so any paid subscribers should not have been charged for a renewal (if you did please feel free to ask for a refund). I’ll continue writing this newsletter, but without the pressure of weekly growth to drive a sustainable living – instead focusing on the stories I want to share, as time and interest allow me to write. I’ll also be moving off of Substack once I have time to figure that out, because demonetizing Nazis should be an easy decision that Substack’s leadership team just won’t make.

It’s funny to reflect on YouTube in all of this. When I quit my tech job in January 2023, video was meant to be my main work – but I only produced a few recipe videos and a few experiments last year. I went on sidebar (this newsletter!) after sidebar (ebooks, real books!) after sidebar (baking show auditions!) after sidebar (granola!) after sidebar (my dad), all without really doing the work I intended to. I learned a lot about what motivates me through that process.

Despite that, in October one of my videos – whole roasted cauliflower – took off. It has over 350,000 views and so far I’ve earned over $2,000 from just that one video. But I put 80 hours of work into that video, which means I earned $25/h from making it. And that’s the only video I made real money from. Sure, if they all took off like that I could make a real living. But I don’t know that that’s the life I want, because it’s very lonely to make videos alone at home, and the revenue is not there to hire a team. (For those who don’t know, I film and edit my videos entirely by myself using 3 camera on tripods, and lights mounted in my ceiling. You can learn more here.)

My hope is that back to a regular work schedule, video will return as a creative outlet for me. But for now it still feels too intense to commit to.

So this ends my year of experimentation in food as work, and begins my year of rebuilding with food as a creative outlet for joy.

Onwards,

Marko

*My booth from the Kitchener Market, seen from the back (where I stored granola) now works a storage unit for my home gym! I bought myself a squat rack for Christmas, which has proven to be a great investment so far.*

I lost over 70lbs of body fat in 2023

Mon, 01 Jan 2024 12:00:00 +0000

It’s the New Year: the busiest time of year for the gym. Many people decide the calendar changing over means it’s time for a fresh start. It’s time to take their health seriously. Most people go hard for a few weeks and then stop. People give up on fitness goals for many reasons – injury from going too hard too fast, life catching up to, or realizing – like I’ve learned this year – losing weight is hard work that takes a long time, and requires a lot of self-motivation to keep going.

*Me on December 31, 2023*

I started taking my weight gain seriously in March 2023, which is the most read post I’ve ever written. Since then I’ve lost 40lbs on the scale, 70lbs in body fat (more on this below), and gone from a 2XL shirt size to a slim fit large.

Weight loss is about more than just aesthetics: while I now fit into clothes I haven’t fit in for 5 years, I’m also looking at my blood glucose (lower), resting heart rate (lower), blood pressure (lower). I’m running faster than I have in 5 years, and my VO2 Max is better. While I weigh more on the scale than I did 5 years ago, my body fat % is lower (from putting on muscle).

I didn’t go on any sort of special diet, count my calories, or join a gym. I’m not taking Ozempic (it’s fine if that works for you).

I made a few simple but effective changes that just about anyone can do:

I started walking every day: it’s a sustainable weight loss strategy that’s easy and accessible to most people. For fat loss it can be as, if not more, effective than HIIT workouts (like spin classes).
I was patient: losing weight is slow, difficult, and comes with plateaus. The scale is one metric, and often it’s a liar. You need to figure out what will keep you motivated on a long journey. Measuring your progress by weight as your core metric is going to make you miserable and demotivate you.
I focused on a high protein diet: eating enough protein will help you lose body fat and limit losing muscle (or even gain muscle) when you are trying to lose weight. Eating enough protein helps you stay full. Asking “Is there enough protein in this meal?” is easier to manage than labeling foods “good” or “bad” or counting every calorie. If you aim for 30g of protein at every meal and every snack you’re in a good place. Eating more protein will naturally cause you to eat less overall because protein is incredibly filling. It takes a long time to digest, meaning fewer snacks, and it burns more calories while digesting. It also helps you build muscle, which burns more calories as part of just being alive.

What’s changed?

I’ve been using the same Withings smart scale for a long time. Like many people, I stopped weighing myself as I gained weight because I didn’t like what I saw and I didn’t want to do anything about it. So I don’t have enough snapshots to make you a fancy graph, but I do have enough metrics to share this table about my body composition changes over the last couple of years.

Last Christmas was the largest I’ve ever been in my life, with a 38 waist, 2XL shirts. March 2023 was the heaviest – over 260lbs, but I had started putting on muscle without losing fat at that point. I was very physically active, but I couldn’t lose the weight.

Today I have the same body fat percentage and almost the same body fat weight as 2019 – but I weigh 25lbs more. That difference is added muscle from strength training, which I took seriously this year.

So while I’ve lost 40lbs on the scale, I’ve actually lost 76lbs of body fat and gained 37lbs of muscle. That’s losing 1.5lbs of body fat per week for a year.

Here’s how I did it.

1: Start with walking

I get it, it’s January 1. You want to get a gym membership, you’re going to go to yoga every day, you’ve cut out carbs, and you’ve changed every single aspect of your life all at once. You are committed. Really for real this time. It’s totally going to last more than 2 weeks.

Sure, Jan(uary).

Around March 2023 I started walking every day. It started because I was dog sitting, and I realized how much walking helped me feel better mentally. To be out in the sun, to be moving my body. It was also easy and I started losing weight quickly. I kept up the habit after the dogs left. Since then I’ve hit my Apple Watch Move goal every day for 306 days in a row now, thanks primarily to walking.

Walking every day bumped my average active calories up by 270 calories per day. I was already very active, so I went from an average of 880 active calories per day in 2022 to 1,150 in 2023. A pound of fat has roughly 3,500 calories, so the additional 270 calories adds up to nearly 30lbs of body fat burned per year simply by walking.

I walk for 30–60 minutes every day, usually in the morning, sometimes again in the evening if I don’t run or lift weights that day.

Walking is easy to do. You don’t have to change your clothes (you do have to dress for the weather). You don’t have to go far. You don’t have to huff and puff and sweat. You don’t have to take a shower after. You don’t need a membership.

You don’t have to change your entire life.

You just need to go for a walk.

Can I really lose weight by walking?!

Yes. It’s like when your friends go to Europe, and come back saying “I ate everything I wanted and I lost weight!” And it turns out they walked everywhere.

I went for a walk with a friend yesterday morning – we were out for an hour, had a great catch up conversation. It wasn’t a fast pace, but according to my Apple Watch I burned 290 active calories (you will burn a different amount based on your height, weight, and speed).

Ideally you want to walk at a pace where your heart rate is above 100.

So I just… walk?

If you’re getting started with walking after being a couch potato for a while, it’s important that you ramp up slowly. There are many small muscles and ligaments that get involved and it’s easy for them to get stressed and strained, and you could accidentally roll your ankle if the tiny supportive muscles aren’t strong enough yet!

If walking as a workout is new to you, start with shorter walks – 20 minutes, once a day. Then add 5 minutes per day every week – going from 20 to 25 to 30 minute walks. It will take 2 months to get up to 1 hour long daily walks. This gives your mind, body, and schedule time to adapt to the new stress you’re putting on it, which is how you set yourself up for long-term success.

What do I do when I’m walking?

I really struggled with daily walking for a long time. I have a lot of social anxiety, and overthink basically everything. Why would I just walk around in a big circle for no reason? Won’t people think I’m weird? I need a purpose! I can only walk if I am going somewhere, or out with a friend, or walking a dog, or going on a hike.

And to the outside world, there’s really no difference between you walking for the sake of walking, and you walking to go get a coffee. Nobody knows your motivation! The difference only exists in your head, in the story you tell yourself about what other people think about you. (They are not thinking about you.)

Now, after almost a year of daily walking I never really think about it. I’m just walking.

I thought I would get bored but now I look forward to my walks. I listen to music, listen to podcasts, listen to nature, take a friend and talk, phone a friend, or write this newsletter in my head.

I like watching the seasons slowly change from one to the next. I like feeling the weather (yes, I walk in the rain and snow, but not the wind). I like the time to be alone with my thoughts – often I write these posts in my head while walking. I like the way walking lowers my anxiety and levels out my mood.

I’ve come to learn that how I feel before a walk (sad? tired? angry? hopeless? overwhelmed?) and how I feel after a walk (calm, inspired, level) is always different. It took me a while to recognize this, but now I know that walking is what keeps me level.

While “take a walk” is often said to help people cool down when they’re angry, it really works to regulate your nervous system from any negative emotions. If you’re going through a stressful time in your life it can be very helpful.

What should I wear when I’m walking?

You can wear anything, that’s the beauty of walking. You don’t need to change. You don’t need special shoes. Go in your PJs. Go in your fancy boots. Go in your birks.

Who cares?

You’re walking.

How fast should I walk?

Any movement is better than no movement, so if walking at a leisurely pace gets you moving then walk at a leisurely pace. There’s no need to prancercise.

I try to target having my heart rate in Zone 2, which is 99–115bpm. Above 100 is what’s considered “active” from a calorie burning standpoint (as opposed to the calories you burn from simply being alive in this world.) Zone 2 is where your body is most likely to use body fat as a fuel source, so if you are trying to lose body fat, 99–115bpm is a great place to be.

High intensity workouts, like a typical Peloton class, usually keep you in heart rate Zones 4–5. These zones rely on fast-access glycogen (sugar) stored in your muscles for fuel – burning glycogen can make you very hungry, as your body tries to replenish it quickly by making you crave delicious carbs.

So if you’re trying to lose weight, heart rate Zone 2 is your friend. This is great news because Zone 2 is so much easier.

Where do I go when I walk?

I don’t know, go out your front door and pick a direction!

I generally walk around my neighbourhood. I’ve got a tour the nice houses route, a walk through the park route, a walk by the library route, a maybe I can turn this into a grocery trip route, a fancy coffee route. But generally I just go around the neighbourhood.

It’s easy to overthink this and not go – to think that you need a plan, or a trail, or a friend, or a forest. That you need to go somewhere. But seriously just go out your front door, walk for 10 minutes, turn around, and walk back. There’s your first route, and your first 20 minute walk done.

Now do it again almost every day for the rest of your life.

2: Losing weight is slow and hard

There’s no mincing words here: losing weight through diet and exercise is a relentless amount of effort. It’s difficult to incorporate into your life until it becomes a habit. It’s time consuming. And sometimes it can feel like all that effort is for nothing.

It is just hard.

There are so many times this year I thought this was too hard and it’s going nowhere, but clearly I could do it and it went somewhere.

Walking every day really motivated me, because it was easy to do. Even through starting a new business, running a 24-hour fundraiser, even with my dad being in the hospital for 2 months, even through breakups, I never missed a day of hitting my Apple Watch Move goal. Some of those days I could only do two 30 minute walks because I didn’t have the capacity for anything harder than that. Some weeks I only walked, with no running, spinning, or lifting, because that’s all I could do.

Still, I walked.

On those days the walks did more than help close my Move ring, they helped keep me calm and keep me sane.

Remember that weight shouldn’t define you, but health and lifestyle outcomes should motivate you

I think the way we measure bodies sucks. Aesthetically, you can be beautiful at any size – you can and should love yourself. Empirically, weight and BMI are easy to get fixated on as they are comparable (to ourselves and others), but often don’t tell the truth of our health or body composition.

Today I weigh 215lbs, but I have a slightly lower percentage of body fat than when I was 195lbs. I fit into clothes I haven’t fit in since 2018. I’ve put on a lot of muscle, which has a higher density than fat – 1lb of muscle takes up 15% less space than 1lb of fat.

That 15% difference in density may not sound like much, but if you have a 38 waist, 85% of that is a 32 waist. That’s an incredible size difference. That explains how I can both weigh more and be smaller.

I bring this up because most people start by setting their “goal weight.” Calorie tracking apps ask for your “goal weight.” Was my goal to lose 50lbs? If so, I failed – only losing 40lbs according to the scale. Yet I lost 76lbs of body fat, so did I overachieve instead?

Is my goal now to stay at 215lbs, but lose more body fat? Or is my goal to get my health metrics in a place where I reduce my risk of stroke, diabetes, heart disease, and cancer?

Weight itself shouldn’t be a goal. So here are some goals to consider:

Lower your risk of health issues, such as heart attack, stroke, cancer, and diabetes. You can look at measurements in your bloodwork like fasting glucose, triglycerides, your resting heart rate, VO2 Max, your average blood pressure.
Improve your daily life mobility, such as your ability to lift things and go up the stairs, which strength training can really support.
Feel good about how you look in your clothes.
Feel good about how you look without your clothes.
Body recomposition, where you lose body fat while gaining muscle.

I’m using the language “feel good” here because beauty is complex, and you can (and should) feel good about yourself at any size.

Your goal is really important because your weight is going to fluctuate daily, your weight may go up even if you become smaller in size. You may achieve your aesthetic goals at a higher weight than your goal weight. Your body may not ever be at the weight that you think it “should” be, and that’s okay. Weight is one metric among many.

Plateaus happen and they suck

Your metabolism will change and adapt to what you throw at it. So as you work harder, your metabolism adjusts. What worked in June suddenly stops working in July, your weight will plateau, and you will feel like all your hard work is for nothing.

I’ve been at a plateau of 215–220lbs for quite a while now, which would be demoralizing if I only tracked weight as my sole metric. But what’s happening in the background is a quiet trade of body fat for muscle mass. I have slowly been building up strength – and maxed out my adjustable dumbbells for some exercises – so I started going to a gym to use a barbell (and last week got my own squat rack!) So while my “weight” is stuck, I’ve gone down in pant size, shirt size, and bulked up in muscle.

It’s important to understand what’s happening in a plateau and not let weight be the driving metric. Tracking metrics like body size with a measuring tape once a month can help break through the noise of the scale being a liar.

Your body shape will change in an annoying way

One of the challenges with fat loss is the difference between how you look in clothes, and how you look naked. There are two main kinds of fat to consider here: subcutaneous fat, the soft, pinchable kind under the surface of your skin; and visceral fat, the firm fat that surrounds your organs – think someone with a broad abdomen and skinny legs.

Visceral fat is extremely harmful to your physical health, while subcutaneous fat is what most people focus on during a weight loss journey. The good news for health is that you will lose visceral fat first. This leads to some confusing changes in your body, because you’ll notice your clothes are looser, they drape better, you may even need to go a few sizes down – but when you pinch your arms, your thighs, or your belly, you’ll still have that baby fat under your skin. That pinchable fat will likely be constant until you’ve burned through most of your visceral fat.

This means that in your clothes you will look like you’ve lost weight, but naked you “look” the same in the mirror. Again, this can be very demoralizing. It doesn’t mean you aren’t making progress – you are! But the soft fat is the last fat you will lose, and it is the most difficult fat to lose, and you likely won’t lose it until you lose everything else.

I’m sorry to tell you that but you it will help you to know what’s happening.

Losing weight takes time

Body fat is primarily made of carbon and hydrogen. So when you burn fat you lose it by breathing it out or peeing it out. Imagine peeing out 50lbs. That would take a long time.

Losing up to 1.5lbs of body weight per week is considered healthy. Anything higher than that and you’re at risk of losing muscle mass, not just fat. This can lead to long-term issues with your physical health, including heart and organ damage.

Accept that it’s a long and slow process, and you can get there.

Your body might have needs you’re not meeting

Weight loss advice often gets reduced to calories in, calories out – or CICO. The challenge with CICO is that metabolisms get messed up for all sorts of reasons, like stress, illness, and underlying health issues. This could mean your baseline metabolism, how many calories you need to exist in this world, can change through your life. Your body adapts to the stress put on it.

Before going on any weight loss journey it’s important to check in with your doctor and understand what’s going on in your body. There could be underlying issues impacting your metabolism. For me, I had an iodine deficiency, iron anemia, and low B12. It took 6 months of focusing on my underlying metabolism issues before exercise even had an impact on my body.

Getting your standard bloodwork done at your doctor’s office will also give you a set of baseline metrics other than weight and body measurements to compare to as you progress. Always consult with your doctor before making significant changes to your diet and exercise.

3: Eat enough protein

I’m going to write a separate series of newsletters on this topic, with recipes, since how I approach a high protein diet has changed a lot through this year.

The main thing I would say here is that calorie counting is exhausting, macro tracking is exhausting, diets are exhausting. Most of these tools lead to disordered eating, where it becomes more about control and less about living a happy, healthy life (which should be a goal of weight loss!).

I like the simple question to ask at every meal. “Is there enough protein here?”

Aim for 30g of protein per meal. If there is 30g of protein, add a lean protein. That could be a protein shake. It could be a side of green peas or broccoli. It could be a protein bar. It could be a few slices of deli turkey breast.

I like this because it’s non-judgemental, it’s an easy question to answer. It’s easy to act on.

I wanted to have a piece of a salted caramel chocolate tart I made for New Year’s Eve as a snack (recipe from NYT Cooking, non-paywall link). But that’s a high sugar, high fat, low protein treat. So I also had a protein shake, which meant I felt full and I did not go back for a second (and likely third) slice of the tart. (It’s very good.)

Keep it simple

These are some of the simple, straightforward tools I’ve used this year to lose weight – go for a walk, be patient, and eat enough protein.

I know it’s more fun to do something dramatic, especially as the calendar flips over. But weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint.

Here’s to wishing you all a happy, healthy new year.

Marko

What I've lost

Sat, 16 Dec 2023 12:00:00 +0000

I haven’t figured out yet how to restart this newsletter.

I think it’s because I don’t know how to explain, or to even understand for myself, what I’ve lost over the last few months.

My dad is fine after his stroke. He’s home, after a 39 day stay in 3 different hospitals. He’s been home for 2 weeks now. He’s walking and talking, but he has a long road ahead to see how much function he can get back.

While my dad is fine, I am not.

I lost two months of my life so I could try to help him live.

I spent nearly every day in the hospital with him. Sitting by his side for hours, meeting with hospitalists, neurologists, nurses, speech therapists, physical therapists, occupational therapists, social workers, hospital managers, and more. Taking notes to relay to my family. Taking him for head CTs, X-Rays, and MRIs. Chasing down hospital records. Watching him become paralyzed and thinking he was going to die. Feeding him when he no longer could feed himself. Filing a complaint when he was left paralyzed, hungry, and dehydrated over a weekend at a rehab facility. Convincing him to go back to emerg instead of accepting death. Chasing down his legal paperwork, then acting as his Power of Attorney. Fighting for him to get care instead of giving up as he moved from ambulance to emerg to hospital admission to rehab, then back to emerg, back to hospital admission, to a different rehab facility, and finally home.

I spent every day telling him every day that even though it sucks right now – and it’s okay that it sucks – he will get better, and one day it won’t suck. I spent my time redoing his bathroom so it’s accessible. Taking his car for repair. Paying his bills. And now that he’s home I am picking up his medications. Taking him to the doctor, taking him for more head CTs, taking him for groceries, hiring a snow removal service…

The list goes on, and does not include managing the entirely unnecessary family drama.

I am glad I could do this for my dad. If I didn’t spend hours arguing with him to go to emerg on October 12, he very likely could have died. If I was not there advocating for his care for 39 days to figure out why he suddenly went from walking to fully paralyzed (it was inflammation, not a second stroke), he likely would have never made it home.

But being there is not easy and it comes at a cost, one I am only reckoning with now.

I lost two months of my life.

I lost my boyfriend, who was my best friend, who I miss. I lost two months working on my business – and missed the entire holiday market season. I lost a grant for my business, because I couldn’t complete the work while spending my days in the hospital. I lost the bakery I was going to open – a dream I’ve always had, but the math no longer math’d. I lost my relationship with my sister, which was already damaged but is now irreparable. I lost the safety net of a reliable parent who is independent, who could solve problems for me, who I now need to solve problems for, and be reliable for.

I lost my sense of humour.

I lost my joy.

I lost my desire to cook and bake.

I lost myself.

I feel bad writing about it, because it will make my dad feel bad if he reads this. But this isn’t his fault. I chose to give up part of my life so he could live, and that’s a worthwhile trade. I would do it again.

And before you get too worried, I’m fine. I mean, I’m very not fine, but I know that it will get better one day, but it sucks right now. I have been through periods of depression, and this isn’t depression. This is grief. Everything I thought I knew about the world, my relationships, and myself has changed. I don’t know what it means for me yet.

I wish I could skip this part, where, instead of telling you how hurt I am, I just crack a joke about how I’m a Chicken Breast Gay now – but I want to pivot that whole story to center around my friend (and now roommate) Marci, not about my now ex. I want to share with you how I’ve lost over 50lbs and I’m running faster than I did 10 years ago – but I want to pivot that whole story to be about health, and how I don’t want to have a stroke, or die of colon cancer – and how it’s not (only) about fitting into my clothes.

I want to tell you about what it’s like to start a food business, but I don’t even know if I want to have a food business anymore. Because a food business is hard, and while we can do hard things, sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I stopped doing life on hard mode all the time?

But is that the right thing to give up?

Or am I just tired, and grieving, and numb?

It’s tough to talk about these things. They’re messy, complicated, and often dark topics.

When I try to talk about this with friends, I feel like I’m not allowed space for uncertainty. I get pep talks, as if this is one bad day where I don’t believe in myself. I believe in myself, I am just miserable, and one day I won’t be. But today I am.

When I try to talk about it online, I get bullied because my problems are not the ones people care about – and how dare I share my pain, or my business, or really anything, when the world is at war and the world is on fire.

So, I am going to start sharing with you all again. But I felt like I had to share this first, so that I can move on from this chapter.

I’m not sure what happens in the next chapter, but we’re going to find out.

Marko

Easy, high protein breakfast

Sun, 29 Oct 2023 12:00:00 +0000

My dad is still in the hospital. In fact, he moved back to the stroke ward after being sent out to a different hospital for rehab.

After his hemorrhagic stroke on October 12, my dad was walking and talking. He had word finding difficulties, but given the situation he appeared to be doing great in hospital. So on October 19 he moved to a new hospital for inpatient rehab to improve his speech. On October 22 he suddenly became paralyzed on his left side, and moved back to his original hospital.

At first we thought it was a second stroke, but he’s had two more head CTs since then and there’s no evidence of a second stroke. We’re waiting for an MRI now.

A lot more than that has happened, but for the purpose of this article, it has been a very long 17 days for him and for our family. Yesterday was the first day I didn’t go to the hospital, where I’ve been 4–8 hours every day.

I took a day off to take care of myself. We went shopping, I had to buy new pants that fit.

Taking care of someone, advocating for someone who can’t speak or move, is very difficult. It comes at a great personal cost – time, capacity, and emotional availability.

The first thing I lost was a regular meal schedule.

The second thing I lost was 9 pounds. In a week.

As many of you know, I’ve been on a weight lost journey since March – I’ve lost 50lbs, in a healthy way, focusing on a high protein diet and walking every day. So this sudden weight loss wasn’t part of my plan, or even desired.

I have not been a breakfast person for basically my whole life. I am not hungry in the morning, so I usually don’t eat until lunch. But these days I’m not home from the hospital until 3 or 4pm, basically dinner time. I don’t feel comfortable putting my hands in my mouth to take out/put back in my Invisalign in a hospital setting, so I’ve been skipping meals.

Seeing me wither away, with #PizzaDiet2023 on the horizon, my boyfriend suggested I start eating breakfast. He even had a recipe for me.

Add protein powder to yogurt.

When Brent first suggested this I thought it was the craziest thing I ever heard – like some weird food the Chicken Breast Gays invented to keep slim waists and stop themselves from experiencing joy.

Surely it would taste awful.

Surely it would be gritty.

Sure it’s not something that an Internet Food Person would eat.

But I tried it, And I regret to inform you it is delicious. Brent’s suggestion has saved me.

It’s so good I wake up looking forward to experimenting with new flavours. It feels like you’re eating Cool Whip for breakfast.

I suspect what’s happening is that the fat in yogurt acts like an emulsifier, helping the protein blend in super smoothly. Whey protein, collagen protein, pea protein – they are all hydrophobic, meaning they repel water. This is why your protein shakes can be very gritty when made in water, and why my first reaction was that this protein yogurt combo would be gritty, too.

But these proteins – whey, collagen, and pea – are lipophilic. Meaning, they are attracted to fat. So instead of gritty, the yogurt becomes the light and creamy texture of Cool Whip.

(You can also add MCT oil to protein shakes to help them emulsify for this reason. This is also why many protein powders have xanthan gum, which I avoid.)

I have made this with powders from Beck’s Broth, vegan protein, and various whey proteins. I have made this with Siggi’s Yogurt and Simpla vegan yogurt. It all works.

I shared this with my friend Marci, who is spiritually a Chicken Breast Gay. She said the following in real time as she tasted it.

I can’t imagine it works, wouldn’t the protein powder just be gritty and awful?

Huh.

Wow.

I’m wrong, Brent is right.

Wow.

This just opens up a whole world of possibilities.

Hmmm…

It does make it like cool whip!

Whatever. I already had breakfast and my cereal had lots of fibre.

Several minutes later:

It’s fine I will have protein yogurt for lunch!

Several minutes later:

This is outrageous!

Several days later:

I just made yogurt with vanilla protein and carrot cake granola. It’s like a bowl of cream cheese icing.

We’ve now discussed so many ideas for this. Beck’s Broth coffee bone broth with Siggi’s plain yogurt and a crunch element to make a high protein, low sugar tiramisu. Lemon yogurt with vanilla protein powder for a high protein, low effort cake frosting. Or my current daily driver, Beck’s broth hot chocolate protein powder, Siggi’s plain yogurt, and peanut butter – 40g of protein, <10g sugar, and it tastes like a peanut butter pie.

I know it sounds crazy, but you have to try it.

Brent’s Protein Yogurt Bowls

This is a 2-minute, high protein breakfast that is very low effort, very high reward.

When made with Siggi’s yogurt (18g protein per serving), Beck’s Broth (15g protein), and topped with granola (mine has 8g protein) this has 41g of protein per serving.

You could also do Simpla vegan yogurt (2g protein), Sun Warrior Warrior Blend (25g protein – use a flavoured option, natural will taste very bad), and granola (8g protein) for a 35g vegan protein option.

*This is the best photo I can do given my life circumstances. You can see the light, airy, whipped texture. The little crystals here are maple sugar. It’s just so good.*

Ingredients

125–175g | 1/2 cup yogurt – any kind works
30g | 1 scoop protein powder – any kind works

Method

Add both ingredients to a bowl and stir until creamy and light, about 30 seconds. Make sure there’s enough room in the bowl as the initial stirring can get dusty.
Top with whatever you want – fruit, nut butter, granola
You can add any other lipophilic flavours – like cocoa powder or vanilla extract – during the mix

Know the signs of a stroke

Sun, 15 Oct 2023 12:00:00 +0000

On Thursday when my dad picked me up from the kitchen he wasn’t able to speak in full sentences.

He is currently in the hospital – and stable. He had a small bleed inside his brain that is stabilized now.

The doctors are currently investigating the root cause. It may have been a stroke, CAA, hypertension, spontaneous, or from a recent car accident. At this point we don’t know, but he is most likely going to recover and go home in a few days if this trend continues.

It’s very important to know the signs of a stroke and be observant of the people in your life, and advocate for people in your life.

My dad wasn’t making sense, but you could see he knew what he wanted to say but couldn’t speak the right words (aphasia). But he also refused to go to the hospital, so I called 911 and I spent 3 hours with him and the paramedics negotiating that he go to the hospital.

He is stubborn and refused to go. With a stroke time really matters. Don’t be stubborn when people are telling you that you medical treatment.

If someone in your life is showing the signs of a stroke call 911. Do not give them any medication. For example, someone suggested giving my dad aspirin – but given that his brain was bleeding that would have made the situation worse.

Leave it to the medical professionals. If your family is getting conflicting advice call 911. That is what they are there for.

Signs of a stroke:

Sudden numbness or weakness in the face, arm, or leg, especially on one side of the body.
Sudden confusion, trouble speaking, or difficulty understanding speech.
Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes.
Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance, or lack of coordination.
Sudden severe headache with no known cause.

If you think someone may be having a stroke, act F.A.S.T. and do the following test:

F—Face: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?

A—Arms: Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward?

S—Speech: Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is the speech slurred or strange?

T—Time: If you see any of these signs, call 911 right away.

Write down the time when any symptoms first appear. This information helps health care providers determine the best treatment for each person.

Do not drive to the hospital or let someone else drive you. Call 911 for an ambulance so that medical personnel can begin life-saving treatment on the way to the emergency room.

Create a note in your phone with information about the people you care for (or for yourself to share with the people who will take care of you).

List of medications, including past medications
List of past surgeries
Chronic conditions and/or disease
Baseline metrics like how they walk, talk, blood pressure, blood sugar, etc
Family lawyer who has their will
Discuss how they want to handle the situation if their heart stops
Set a power of attorney for medical decisions in case of an emergency

Setting up all this stuff when a person is healthy is very uncomfortable. No one wants to discuss illness or death. But it’s better than figuring it out when everyone is in crisis mode. Write it down, give the note to the hospital. You’re going to have to repeat it 15 times a day.

If you don’t know how to have the conversation, you can say “you know that guy on internet with the granola? His dad just had a stroke and said we should discuss this. It will take 10 minutes.”

I am fine – my support system is supporting me.

My dad can somewhat hold a conversation now and has no other issues at present, but is at risk for stroke while he’s off blood thinners

Because I knew the signs of a stroke, on Thursday I was a stubborn asshole until he got to the hospital.

Now you now know the signs of a stroke. If there is a time you need to be a stubborn asshole to get someone to the hospital for a stroke, do it.

Marko

We raised over $23,000 for Food4Kids Waterloo Region

Sun, 08 Oct 2023 12:00:00 +0000

*Marko Savic (me!), owner of Probably Worth Sharing; Lorri Detta, Executive Director at Food4Kids Waterloo Region; Rosie the dog and MVP of our event; and Mike Morrice, Member of Parliament for Kitchener Centre (my MP!). Mike stopped by to discuss food insecurity with the community.*

Last Sunday, on Oct 1, I hosted Probably Worth Sharing’s first ever Bake-A-Thon and Fall Fair Fundraiser – for Food4Kids Waterloo Region.

We brought the community together and raised over $23,000 in cash and food donations to support children facing chronic hunger in our community, including making one bag of organic, vegan granola for every child Food4Kids Waterloo Region supports.

I was in the kitchen from 7pm Saturday to 7pm Sunday working with a team of volunteers to pull this off.

This weekend is Thanksgiving in Canada, so today I want to give thanks for this community I get to call home.

We donated:

Over $12,000 in granola that went straight into kids’ backpacks, ensuring they had a great set of meals to keep them full over the 4-day weekend for Thanksgiving – 4 days children facing severe food insecurity wouldn’t have access to any food without the help of Food4KidsWaterloo Region
$6,000 in on-site donations directly from community members who came to the event
Over $5,000 raised from food vendors sales and event operations

This was a true community building event, and today I want to share how it all came together and thank everyone who participated.

The event exceeded my wildest dreams. I don’t know how we pulled this off in such a short time. It was pure magic. I am still emotional about it.

We made so much granola.

The idea

When I started making and selling organic granola (buy online here), I realized that I can do a lot of good in the world with the product – it’s packaged, shelf stable, and kid friendly. The perfect food to donate to kids.

I knew I wanted some kind of give-back program built into the business, so it was important for me to start this early on. I knew from past conversations in the community, led by Humble Lotus, that Food4Kids Waterloo Region is in need of high quality proteins that can go in a kids backpack.

Over 3,000 children in Waterloo Region are living with chronic hunger, and while Food4Kids Waterloo Region is currently helping nearly half of these at-risk youth, many more remain in need. The idea of a “24-hour Bake-A-Thon” felt like the kind of outlandish idea that could raise awareness to the issue of chronic hunger, while also helping to solve the problem.

So one week into starting my business, on August 14, I sent a voice message to Jared Wood and My Nguyen, owners of Humble Lotus Sushi. Market. What if we held a Bake-A-Thon for Food4Kids Waterloo Region – try to make over 1,000 bags of granola to donate?

Could we get some chef friends to help us make granola?

Could we get space to do this?

Jared and My were immediately in, and they set up a meeting for me with Lorri Detta, the Executive Director at Food4Kids Waterloo Region. I asked Thompson Tran, who owns Wooden Boat Food Company – where I rent kitchen space – if we could use the kitchen. He offered to let us use the space.

I met with Lorri to discuss the idea and she had one ask: can we make one bag for every child Food4Kids Waterloo Region supports? Yes we can (and yes, we did). We came up with a school safe (nut free) recipe – that like all my granola is vegan and organic, so it can meet the dietary needs of as many children Food4Kids supports as possible. Like all my granola, it was made with 100% organic, wholesome ingredients – oats, olive oil, maple syrup, orange zest, cinnamon, sunflower, chia, and pumpkin seeds.

We discussed having a community BBQ at the event to raise awareness. We thought it would be a fun way to feed volunteers, and invite the community to learn about Food4Kids. We expected maybe 50 people.

But I don’t know how to hold a community BBQ or manage volunteers. When I don’t know how to do something, I ask someone who does for advice.

I reached out to Elaine Decleir, owner of Joy Media, events professional, and superhuman.

The idea grows

Instead of advice, Elaine offered to take the project on as a volunteer. Instead of a community BBQ, Elaine had a vision for Fall Fair Fundraiser. There would be a breakfast event, a dinner event, and Elsa. She had a vision for kids activities. A fall photo booth. Cartoons on the wall. Pumpkin painting.

We thought maybe 100 people would show up, but it would be worth the effort to bring awareness to Food4Kids Waterloo Region.

Elaine and I split our tasks – I would manage the kitchen and food vendors; Elaine would own the Fall Fair.

*Elaine Decleir, my hero.Hire Joy Media.*

The idea takes off

Brent Murphy offered to lead marketing and media relations. Brent’s work transformed the awareness of the event: creating a compelling narrative that led with the crisis in our community – over 3,000 children are facing chronic hunger – and how we’re hoping to solve it. We got coverage in The Record, on 570 News with Mike Farwell, the Waterloo Region School Board emailed it out to parents, Alex posted about us in TL;WR, The Woolwich Observer wrote about it, CTV News was onsite with a camera, and so much more.

So many people shared the story on Instagram. I was able to fill all of the kitchen volunteer slots within 3 days of announcing the event – getting 24 volunteers right away.

We couldn’t have reached this level of awareness without Brent. But he did such a great job we quickly realized this was going to be bigger than any of us dreamed it could be.

*Packaging was donated byRootree.*

The community steps up

My friend Nigel Vanderlinden reached out to Rootree in Burlington to secure a donation of compostable, branded granola packaging that we could use. Rootree provided all of these for free and produced them on an extremely tight timeline to a very high standard of quality. Rachel from Rootree came to the event to support as well. This was an incredible way to show you can give back to the community while doing what’s right for the planet, too. (All of my granola is packaged in compostable packaging.)

Next Victoria Kent, owner of the Yeti Cafe called me.

“Did you see that the school board sent a promo out to every parent? I’m going to help.”

Victoria took over our breakfast event. As Kitchener’s Queen of Breakfast Sandwiches we couldn’t have been in better hands.

A very long list of thank yous

Sponsor

Vive Development sponsored the Fall Fair Fundraiser, enabling us to make the event as great as possible for the community – funding operational requirements like insurance and permits, event activities like Elsa, and our onsite DJ.

We received additional operational funding from Legacy Greens.

These funds helped make the event possible, and the remaining cash from event operations was donated directly to Food4Kids Waterloo Region.

Event team

Our event was led by me – Marko (hi), Elaine Decleir from Joy Media, Jared Wood and My Nguyen from Humble Lotus Sushi Market, Brent Murphy, and Lorri Detta from Food4Kids Waterloo Region.

Elaine, without you none of this would have been possible. You are the hero this community needs. Thank you for all of the work you did to make Fall Fair magic. If you need event support, please hire Elaine to create literal magic for you. She is a joy to work with. Learn more about Joy Media.

Jared and My, thank you for your inspiration in giving back to the community, for making introductions, getting Vive on board, for all the community members you brought in to support the event, and for feeding the volunteers. Learn more about Humble Lotus Sushi Market.

Brent, I don’t even have words – we held our first charity fundraiser together! Thank you for making Food4Kids the star of the show and getting the community out to support – including Mike Morrice, Mayor Berry, and a representative from Debbie Chapman’s office. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for driving me to Caledon to pick up corn that we could have picked up in Breslau. Thank you for making me take a nap. You’re incredible.

Lorri, thank you for taking a chance on this wild idea.

Rootree

Rootree is a Canadian manufacturer of sustainable packaging, including compostable packaging options. Rootree donated the branded bags we used to package granola for delivery to Food4Kids Waterloo Region. If you’re a small food vendor, Rootree also offers a monthly “Pouch Collective” run that offers small scale runs at high volume prices. Nigel and I went onsite to meet their team and you couldn’t meet a kinder group of people.

Learn more about Rootree.

Shortfinger Brewing Co.

Shortfinger shares a building with Wooden Boat, where we were operating. Rob, owner of Shortfinger, was hosting an Oktoberfest event the night before our Fall Fair Fundraiser.

Not only did Rob agree to stay open on early and late on Sunday, creating an opportunity for event attendees to grab a beer, but Rob also allowed us to use the port-a-potties from his event – saving us on time and costs (more to donate to Food4Kids Waterloo Region!). This was huge.

Rob was a kind, generous, and helpful neighbour through the whole process. Learn more about Shortfinger Brewing Co.

Kitchen Volunteers

We had so many volunteers in the kitchen helping make and pack granola. Thank you to Dawn, Kayleen and Andrew, Emma (my niece!), Nick, Lynsey, Wendy, Iris, Ann, Sarah, Shari, Rebecca, Florence, and Brittney for making granola happen!

Wendy deserves a bonus shout out here – she stayed to bake granola for 2 shifts, making sure that we got through all of the baking and giving me time to go home for a nap.

Thank you to Perry at Oak Manor and Felix at Online Organics for providing a discount for the granola ingredients, and to my Kitchener Market neighbour The Organic Pantry for their donation of 25lbs of organic oats (65 bags of granola worth!).

Community

Thank you to Thompson Tran from Wooden Boat for allowing us to use his space.

Breakfast volunteers

A Matter of Taste donated coffee for the volunteers to keep us awake all night, and donated 300 cups of coffee for the breakfast event. Dawn, owner of Matter of Taste, also volunteered to make granola. Learn more about Matter of Taste.

The Yeti Cafe donated cinnamon buns and lemonade to sell at the breakfast event. Victoria, owner of the Yeti Cafe, also managed the breakfast event. Learn more about The Yeti Cafe (try the Pregant Cowgirl).

Provenance Farms donated 350 eggs from their regenerative farm for us to use at breakfast. Learn more about Provenance Farms.

Mitchell Bright and Erica Orofino made over 300 breakfast sandwiches. Follow Mitch on Instagram, where he makes excellent cooking videos.

Nick Sawatzky made the amazing milk bread that was used for the breakfast sandwiches. Nick also took the 3:00am granola shift, and stayed until well past 1pm. Nick is currently doing pop-up baking at Counterpoint Brewing Co. and is available for baking gigs. Follow Nick on Instagram.

I made caramels and vegan granola & yogurt parfaits. Learn more about my granola business, Probably Worth Sharing.

Nigel Vanderlinden and his son Rowan worked the till at breakfast, bringing joy and upsell opportunities to all who came by.

Sapsucker donated cans of water, and all proceeds from those sales were donated to Food4Kids Waterloo Region.

Dinner volunteers

Humble Lotus Sushi Market fed all of our volunteers, sold poke bowls, and corn on the cob (in addition to helping plan and execute the event). Learn more about Humble Lotus Sushi Market.

Downey’s Farm donated corn and apples to the event, with the corn on the cob being prepared by Humble Lotus. Learn more about Downy’s Farm.

The Lord of the Tacos, Eduardo, made so many tacos. They were so good. Eduardo is my kitchen buddy, working in Wooden Boat alongside me, and also my booth neighbour at the Kitchener Market. You can visit me and Eduardo at the same time on Saturdays at the Kitchener Market! Learn more about The Lord of the Tacos.

Cashew & Thyme sold vegan grazing platters – beautiful boxes filled with vegan cheese, sausage, fruit, olives, crackers, and the most amazing hummus. Learn more about Cashew & Thyme.

The Dessert Artist, Rochelle, made sugar cookies with Black hairstyles, the most amazing pumpkin spice sandwich cookies, and blondies. Rochelle also works out of Wooden Boat alongside me. I want like 75 more cookies. Learn more about The Dessert Artist.

I made traditional and vegan pumpkin pies, which were just for fun and not for sale anywhere else (but you can buy my granola).

Kelly Winter and Brent Murphy worked the till in the evening, both providing joyful sass to everyone who wanted pumpkin pie slices.

The popcorn machine was provided by Bella Vista Catering and operated by Food4Kids Waterloo Region.

Event volunteers

Elaine is going to get infinite shout outs for the rest of my life. If you are running an event, hire Elaine.

Face painting was done by Ghost Town Ink and Helen Fidler Real Estate. I cannot express to you how astounding the quality of the face painting was. Tommy, Jo, and Helen donated their time and supplies and were so kind with all of the children, who were SO EXCITED.

Brett Madill, my cofounder at my tech company, was our photographer for the Fall Fair Photo Booth for the morning. The backdrop was provided by Martin’s Apples and Shantz Farm.

All of the delightful signage was printed by Minuteman Press.

*My friend Larysa, with her son Sebastian whose face was painted by our volunteers, and our mutual friend Nigel’s son Rowan, at the photo booth.*

Setup and teardown was supported by so many volunteers, including Jin Sol Kim, Helen Hiebert and her daughter, Lindsey Bett from Vive and her mom, and the friends that just showed up at the end of the night to help tear down: Gloria, Kim, Sai, Alex… after a long day, you were the energy that we needed and we can’t thank you enough.

Kayla, from the gorgeous Waterhill Farm, thank you for loaning so many items. Kayla packed her truck up with key event items and supported the event by volunteering in the evening. We know how much energy it takes to move large furniture items around, and we appreciate you more than we can say.

Throughout the day we had Casey and Ian taking care of all the pumpkin painting (you got us all organized!). Jesui, Emmanuel, and Jacobo, helped change over the event to the evening set up and even stepped into the kitchen to help with bagging.

Shoutout to the Food4Kids volunteers. Honour, Hayden, Lotus, Pearl just to name a few… you rock!

*Aliyah, owner of Lucky Bug Farm; and Rochelle, owner of The Dessert Artist.*

Beckie from Beck’s Broth and Aliyah from Lucky Bug Farm – both of who work out of the Wooden Boat kitchen as well – stayed to clean and close the kitchen with me. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have people who knew the space and the closing checklist to be there with me until the end, to close and clean properly.

You are both literal saints. I would have been there until 3am without you, and instead I got home by nine.

Learn more about Beck’s Broth. You can buy Beckie’s new product online, or visit her at the Kitchener Market (she is across from me!).

Learn more about Lucky Bug Farm. You can buy Aliyah’s produce at Legacy Greens every Thursday afternoon through November (and subscribe to her CSA next year to follow along with what I’m cooking!).

Community is what you create

I think, in this post-COVID world, there’s a lot of anxiety and stress – a lot of people are closed off from community. COVID made so many of us retreat, shut off, and become insular. It was a traumatic event, and a lot of people are in their own siloes recovering from it still. At the same time, there’s a lot of resentment and anger at the growing inequality in the world.

I’m a person who relentlessly believes in hope. That we can make the world a better place, even when it feels like all the odds are against is. This event was a demonstration of my favourite quote, by Mahatma Ghandi:

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

This event shows how big the hearts are of people in this community. Together we did something bigger than just one person could do alone. We made an impact in the lives of these kids, ensuring they had food for the long weekend. We made an impact on raising awareness for Food4Kids Waterloo Region so they can continue their mission to end chronic hunger in our community. And I hope, together, we inspired many others to see that they can make a difference.

Thank you all for believing in me and my crazy ideas. Thank you all for showing up.

This Thanksgiving I am grateful I call this community home.

Marko

Photos from the day

I tried to document the day while also hosting the event. Here are some of my favourite photos from the event.

Fall recipes, from last Fall

Sun, 10 Sep 2023 12:00:00 +0000

Hi friends, I had my first weekend with two markets – my friend Nigel worked at the Kitchener Market for me, while I was at Art Hop’s Sculpted Market in Waterloo. It was a big learning curve to do two markets at once with a whole bunch of new products… like parfaits, energy bites, caramels, and… Oktoberfest pretzel granola.

(A brief sidebar on the Oktoberfest pretzel granola: this was a gag for the event that turned out incredibly well. It’s oats with barley malt syrup, proofed yeast, baking soda water (for the alkalinity), three kinds of salt – kosher, flakey, coarse – and after it’s baked dehydrated mustard flakes. It’s very tasty – I would add it to salads or top mac and cheese. I will offer this through Oktoberfest now.)

After a 14-hour day I had my best Saturday sales day yet, double what I sold last week (which was double the week before!). Things are going very well 5-weeks into the business, but Granola Daddy is tired.

This means I have no newsletter for you today, but one of my new market offerings – vegan apple pie caramels – reminded me that I should share some of last year’s Fall recipe videos, from before I started this newsletter. While the recipe I made for YouTube has brown butter, I can confirm that using “The Future of Butter” vegan butter works (omit the cream entirely). YMMV with other non-butter butters. (If I was making these for myself, who is not vegan, I would use the good butter from St. Brigid’s Creamery).

One day, when I am less tired, I will make more YouTube videos. But that day seems to be getting further away as I become Granola Daddy more every day. So enjoy these time capsules of how funny I was when I used to sleep.

Apple pie caramels

These aren’t regular caramels, they are cool caramels. If you have every been intimidated by making your own caramels I break down the math of sugar stages in this video filled with Mean Girls and Hocus Pocus references.

I sold out of these in like an hour today. They are insanely delicious. I’ll have a vegan version of them at the Market through October, and for sale at the Bake-A-Thon, but you can also make them at home yourself.

Recipe ›

Roasted butternut squash recipe with garlicky tahini dressing

This is an Ottolenghi recipe from Jerusalem that is my favourite to make for date nights (which reminds me I should put this on the agenda soon.) It’s a very easy Fall recipe that’s low effort, high reward. Cut squash and onions, roast. Make a sauce from tahini and garlic. Look fancy, eat vegetables.

My friend Nick commented on a different recipe that “pecans are for rich people.” But, truly, pine nuts are for rich people. So I used walnuts.

Back in the day, Zehrs used to sell bulk pine nuts and someone at the store wrote in Sharpie on the box “WARNING: THESE NUTS ARE VERY EXPENSIVE!” I read it like Nina Garcia commenting on Project Runway.

“It looks… expensive.”

Recipe ›

Roasted pumpkin soup with garlic bread croutons

This is a recipe of my own invention that I came up with while listening to Phoebe Reads a Mystery read Dracula – I wanted a savoury, smokey pumpkin soup. The anti-pumpkin spice latte. I am also very proud of the jokes in this video, but even more proud of the recipe.

You must make this. You will be sad you didn’t double the recipe.

Recipe ›

Slow motion recipe: pear cake with olive oil & honey

This is a recipe of my own invention, a whole wheat pear cake. I filmed this video like 18 times because I kept making mistakes, never published it as a recipe video, and instead made this very soothing slow motion video. I am still traumatized from the experience of making this last year, but my neighbours loved the process because they got a free pear cake every day for a month.

I’m going to pick like 200lbs of pears at my dad’s on Monday and I will be making this cake on repeat. It’s very good.

Recipe ›

The best roasted cauliflower recipe

I don’t know what it is about this video – maybe the cauliflower that looks like a nuclear explosion in the thumbnail? My choice of shirt? The share-ability of me explaining what the brown spots on cauliflower are? The simplicity but extreme deliciousness of the recipe?

But my entire YouTube career is riding on this one video, which at time of writing now has over 70,000 views and so many comments praising the recipe.

If you find a very beautiful cauliflower you must make this. It will change how you think about cauliflower.

Recipe ›

And with that I must rest.

And by rest I mean learn how to make Lao dumplings for Cookbook Dinner Club tonight.

A 24-Hour Bake-A-Thon

Sun, 03 Sep 2023 12:00:00 +0000

On October 1, I’m hosting a charity Bake-A-Thon and community fundraiser to make 1,100 bags of granola for Food4Kids Waterloo Region.

In today’s post I’m going to share a bit about why I am doing this and how you can help.

Last week a report was released that shows food insecurity for Canadian children has increased by 29% – with Canada ranked 81st out of 193 countries on the global KidsRight Index. Canada is the only G7 nation without a national school-food program.

With school starting this week, it’s an important time to highlight this tragic failure of Government – that in one of the world’s leading nations children still go hungry every day.

I grew up in a fairly typical middle class, immigrant home. My parents moved to Canada from Yugoslavia in the 1970s looking for a better life – both from small, poor farming communities. Neither went to school past what we call grade 4. Neither had a lot growing up, they both struggled a lot.

They often didn’t have enough food when they were kids.

In Canada, my dad worked in construction, working on hockey arenas – the most Canadian thing he could do. My mom worked in factories, then as a custodian for elementary schools for the Waterloo Region District School Board. I remember how often they fought about the cost of groceries. My mom often spent extra, to buy food to take to families who didn’t have enough, to the kids at the schools she worked at, to new families to Canada. While my relationship with my mom had many challenges, this was one of the best sides of her.

She taught me that if you have the ability to help someone, you should. If you have extra, or someone doesn’t have any, it’s probably worth sharing (it definitely is).

My parents did their best to provide for 3 kids and for their community. We had everything we needed and we never went hungry.

But that wasn’t true for kids at the schools my mom worked at. That wasn’t true for kids I grew up with. And it wasn’t always true for my sister’s kids.

One of my sisters had her kids pretty young – her first at 19. Like me, she had a complicated relationship with our mom, so she spent her first few years as a single mom living on her own, trying to make it work. My sister relied on social assistance programs for housing, food, and income while she figured out how to be a young, single mom. It’s a more complicated story and not mine to tell.

I often think a lot about that time and how I could have been more involved – but I was only 16. I had my own problems. I’m 37 now, my oldest niece is an adult (and volunteering at the Bake-A-Thon!) and the youngest is heading into high school next week. The social assistance programs my sister had access to made a huge difference in her ability to feed her kids, to be a good mom, to be independent – and it helped me see at a young age how important social assistance programs are to enabling people to move forward in their lives on their own terms.

This impacted a lot of how I think about the world: how food is political, how we need to build a society for everyone, and how we can all be a force for change in our communities.

A groundswell in the community

Where I live, in Waterloo Region, over 3,000 children live with chronic hunger. Food4Kids Waterloo Region is a charity that works to address this – providing meals to severe food insecure homes, where children often go weekends without meals. Food4Kids Waterloo Region is currently only meeting 50% of the true need in the Region, serving only 75 of 151 schools.

I first heard about Food4Kids Waterloo Region through my friends Jared and My, owners of the Humble Lotus Sushi Market, by eating at their restaurant. They are incredible community-oriented people. Since their first day in business, all of the tips at the Humble Lotus have been put into a fund and donated to Food4Kids Waterloo Region.

Each month Jared and My make a post on Instagram to share what they are donating. There was a striking post last month when they donated an entire carload of canned chicken and shared how quality protein is the number one challenge for Food4Kids Waterloo Region to help provide to these children.

This was around the same time I was starting my granola business, and as I was learning how important protein is to my own health.

That same week I met with Cameron Dale, the manager of the Kitchener Market. Cameron was sharing how the Market thinks about the vendor mix – how important accessible food is to our community. Cameron shared that 1 in 4 kids in Canada face food insecurity, which is only getting worse with rising food prices.

All of this got me thinking: I am now making a kid-friendly, high protein, low sugar, packaged cereal that my friend’s kids love to eat. Can I help with this problem? The challenge is that I’m only one person with a 4 week old business. I don’t have revenue or extra granola to donate. I don’t have employees or a team to ask to volunteer.

But could I get a bunch of people together to help?

I did some math and figured out we could make 1,000 bags of granola in 24-hours with the commercial kitchen space I work in.

I asked Jared and My first: would you want to help me make granola to donate to Food4Kids? They said yes before I finished asking the question – and offered to feed everyone who agreed to help. Next I asked Thompson Tran, owner of Wooden Boat Food Company, where I make granola – would he let us use the space? Thompson said yes immediately.

The idea grew quickly from there. On August 23, I met with Lorri Detta, Executive Director of Food4Kids Waterloo Region to pitch the concept: instead of a Tel-A-Thon to drive donations, we would host a 24-hour Bake-A-Thon. Live in front of the community. We could make 1,000 bags of granola.

Lorri had one ask: can we make it 1,100 bags? One bag for every kid Food4KidsWR serves.

Yes we can!

We picked a date – October 1 – and we agreed on a recipe that meets school safe requirements. Like all of my granola it is high in protein, low in sugar, vegan, and organic, so it can feed as broad a community of Canadians as Food4Kids Waterloo Region serves. This recipe has oats, olive oil, maple syrup, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, chia seeds, cinnamon, orange zest, and salt. With 8g of protein and 3g of sugar per serving. Tasty enough that kids will eat it right out of the bag.

With Lorri’s go-ahead on the event, I reached out to my friend Elaine Decleir, of Joy Media, for advice on how to run this kind of event. Elaine is an events professional, I thought she would give me pointers – instead she said she offered to partner on the event with me.

Elaine’s vision turned the Bake-A-Thon into a community fundraising event.

Less than a week later, on August 29, I launched the marketing campaign: Granola Daddy’s 24-Hour Bake-A-Thon.

By September 1 we already had over 20 volunteers registered and dozens of individual donations to Food4Kids Waterloo Region – I’m blown away by the community support.

You can still register to volunteer, but we have enough registered to pull off the event!

Let’s dream big

As outlandish as it sounds to make 1,100 bags of granola in one day, it only makes a small (but meaningful) impact. 1,100 bags of granola covers breakfast for one week. What about lunch and dinner? And the other 51 weeks of the year? And the 50% of schools that Food4Kids Waterloo Region can’t yet serve? How do we help them?

My hope is that we can secure an event sponsor who will donate to Food4Kids Waterloo Region directly – if you’re interested in this please contact Elaine.

We have the costs of the event covered: I’m personally covering the costs to produce and package the granola. Jared and My are feeding all of our volunteers. Thompson is providing the space. Elaine has donated her time and is working with the amazing local food community to host a breakfast and dinner fundraiser at Wooden Boat on October 1 during the Bake-A-Thon (more details soon). Brent Murphy is doing media relations for the event.

If you’re an Internet Food Person who wants to help raise awareness, a politician, or someone in the news who wants to get involved to help bring attention to Food4Kids Waterloo Region, please reach out to Brent to chat.

You can help

Now I want to share a bit more about Food4Kids Waterloo Region, the community they serve, and how you can get involved.

First, consider a cash or food donation:

A $35 donation feeds one kid for one week
You can also donate food, there’s a list of most needed items on their website
You can volunteer with Food4KidsWR

Please also check your workplace polices to see if they have charitable donation matching programs which can double your donation. Many companies also offer days off to volunteer.

If you’re unable to make it to the Bake-A-Thon, please consider donating directly to Food4Kids Waterloo Region on their website. (You can select “In Celebration of…” and write “Granola Daddy” in the dropdown if you would like to connect it to this event, but that’s entirely optional.)

About Food4Kids Waterloo Region

Together with the community, Food4Kids Waterloo Region currently provides healthy food packages to 1,100 children living with chronic hunger in severe food-insecure homes on weekends and breaks.

Consistent hunger, even just over weekends and extended school breaks, can set a child back for life. Kids who are consistently hungry can lose hours of productivity per school day, fall behind in math and reading, exhibit higher rates of behavioural problems, and have higher levels of anxiety and depression. The consequences of hunger extend far beyond the classroom.

Although children leave our program as their families are no longer in need, they are quickly replaced with our ever-growing waitlist of children and schools who need our program. Many children do not have access to the nourishment they require to thrive mentally, physically, or socially. School nutrition programs help, but these programs only exist during the week.

At Food4Kids Waterloo Region, we believe every child deserves an equal opportunity to thrive, learn, and achieve their full potential. Children who eat over the weekend and during school breaks exhibit improved memory, grades, reduced absenteeism, and less behavioural problems, anxiety and improved overall mood. They can focus on their lessons and participate more fully in class, and relate to their peers better – and they have a better chance of growing healthy mentally, physically and socially, later in adolescence and adulthood. Together, we can create a brighter future for our community, by providing healthy food to our most vulnerable children.

Imagine a community where every child has the nutrition they need to thrive, learn, and achieve their full potential. That's the transformation we're working towards. When you join us, you become a part of this transformation.

How we help:

Teachers within the 50% of schools we currently serve identify vulnerable children living with chronic hunger and contact us for help.
Every weekend of the school year and during school breaks, we provide nourishing food to children ages 1- 14.
Every Friday, food packages are delivered to the schools by volunteers. Each bag includes approximately 20 items (6 meals and snacks) including proteins, fresh fruit and vegetables, milk, cereals, grains, and other healthy items.
Once at the school, educators discreetly hand out the bags and children happily take their bags home, since many go home to little or no food.

We also provide food during the 90 days of school breaks - winter, summer and spring, statutory holidays and PD days. 47% of our food packages meet at Halal menu, and 13.5% of our bags are allergy specific. The children we support represent many cultures and ethnic backgrounds, including new Canadians, Metis, First Nation, People of Colour and Caucasians.

I hope you will come out to the Bake-A-Thon.

We’ll be announcing more about the Community Fundraiser soon, but for now block your calendar on October 1 for some very fun, family-friendly events for a good cause.

Marko

Finding Time for Joy

Sun, 27 Aug 2023 12:00:00 +0000

I’ve been running at a non-stop pace since I got back from San Francisco. Launching a new business is a lot of work. I’m going to have a very busy September (more on that soon) so I need to rest while I can.

But I know myself – I do not enjoy stopping for rest, especially when I am excited about something. For this business my goal is to take some time to rest, to choose rest, and to choose a slower pace.

Friday was going to be my first day off in over a month.

I told my friend Larysa of my plan to take a rest day. She is like me, incapable of stopping until your body makes you stop. She said I wouldn’t make it to 10am without working.

I didn’t make to 9am.

I told myself I needed to get work done: I had to get a wholesale grocery order in (it could have waited until Monday, but I forgot last week). Then I had to get photos of the granola for the new Shopify website (the images now are fine, and this photo shoot turned out horribly. I wasn’t into it, and they look like they were scanned by a court clerk attaching them as exhibits in Donald Trump’s many trials). I had to research fridges for the market.

Nothing went to plan. I was frustrated. It turns out I didn’t have to do any of this on Friday. It all could have waited.

What I had to do was stop.

By Friday afternoon I accepted that I needed to rest. I did not stop when Larysa texted me in all caps “STOP IT.” But I did when she said “I AM MAD AT YOU” after checking if I was still working several hours later. I can’t have the President of the Responsible Adults Friendship Club mad at me – so, I stopped.

I went for a run, my first run since hurting my IT band two months ago. It was great. I was so in the moment I didn’t realize Robin and/or Sam of KWFamous driving past me shouting “GO GRANOLA DADDY GO!”

## My original plan for the day was to cook for joy.

As the summer vacation period winds down, I think it’s important to take a moment to recognize where doing things for joy and rest is going to fit into your routine.

I clearly don’t celebrate Summer vacation, so consider me a test case for how you will feel in the middle of Fall – and Granola Daddy is tired.

A lot of the cooking I’ve done this year is for work. Recipe development and testing, filming and photography, now commercial scale baking. I imagine it’s what it can feel like if you’re the primary cook for a family – often it’s fun, but sometimes it can feel like a relentless onslaught of obligation. But as Denis Morton of Peloton likes to remind me, “I don’t have to, I get to.”

I do truly love cooking and I love good food.

To break the pattern of how I felt about cooking I removed the obligation. I would cook for joy. I wasn’t developing a recipe, I wasn’t going to take photos, and I was only cooking for me. I was going to make some bougie-ass food for myself.

Though the end result is a documented recipe with beautiful photos that I shared with friends, how I got there was different.

I put on some podcasts – I really enjoy KCRW’s Good Food (come for the bread recipes, stay for the lesbian bar reviews) – and cooked. I had planned to make fruit pies. I haven’t made any yet this year. I also have not made a single tomato sandwich.

But I forgot to buy fruit while I was busy thinking about photo shoots I didn’t need to do, so there were no pies.

Instead I looked at all the beautiful produce from my CSA that I have been ignoring because I’ve been too busy.

I decided to make puff pastry from scratch with the good butter. Rough puff pastry is easy, and one day I will convince you to try it. You basically grate frozen butter with a cheese grater into flour, sugar, and salt. Add some water. Wait. Cut it into 4, stack it, smush it, roll it. And you’ve got puff pastry. It’s no harder than making scones, and certainly easier than pie crust. It’s one of the tastiest things you can make as a home cook, and a recipe where doing it yourself (with the good butter) transports you to Parisian cafe the way Pillsbury cannot.

(I have never been to Paris except via puff pastry induced hallucinations.)

What I really wanted to make was a shallot Tarte Tatin: a layer of salted caramel; soft shallots; creamy garlic; puff pastry that absorbs all the flavours while remaining its own distinct deliciousness. I got some absolutely stunning torpedo shallots in my Lucky Bug CSA and thought this would be a beautiful, delicious use for them. I’m sure there is a recipe online for a shallot Tarte Tatin, but I didn’t feel like following anyone else’s rules.

I sliced my shallots in half, lengthwise. I made a small amount of caramel, added a good amount of butter, thyme, salt, and pepper. I layered in the shallots in a star pattern, with whole cloves of garlic in between, and then topped it with my puff pastry. I baked it at 350°F for around 45 minutes.

It is perhaps one of the best things I’ve made all year. You can use the recipe below, or follow your heart like I did.

*The shallots cook down into a soft, creamy texture. The garlic melts in your mouth. Both take well to the sweetness, and get sweet themselves with the longer cooking time. This probably could have been in 5 minutes more but I was hungry.*

*While it bakes the caramel will bubble up the sides, creating a salty sweet edge that is the best bite of food you’ll have all year.*

While listening to Good Food, they had guests on to talk about the produce graveyard we all have in our fridges – and one recommendation was to make gazpacho. Following my heart and their advice, I took everything I’ve neglected from the last week or two in my CSA and threw it into the blender: a cucumber, two green peppers, 3 small carrots, some celery, some garlic, a head of fennel and its fronds, a bunch of parsley, and some shishito peppers I got at Legacy Greens.

I added some good olive oil, a bit of water, salt, pepper, and lemon juice. Blended until smooth. Serve topped with good olive oil. I’m not writing this as a recipe because you should use what’s in your fridge. This just happens to be what is was in my fridge. Don’t go to the store for this nonsense. If you want to go to the store for gazpacho, make this one from NYT Cooking (my friend Paul roasts the garlic and onion, and grills the pepper, when making this).

I had some leftover puff pastry, so I made some quick fruit tarts. I cut some slices of plums that I had great intentions for at the store, before I got busy. I threw on some cinnamon, a pinch of salt, orange zest, and a teaspoon of sugar.

I froze these on Friday, and baked right from the freezer on Saturday for date night, served still warm from the oven. They were delightful.

I also made him pizza – the first time I used my pizza oven this entire year. That was a great moment of joy.

The moral of the story is that I was busy this year.

Too busy even for pizza.

Yet pizza is my one true love.

It’s easy to feel busy. To just keep on doing the next thing, without stopping, without rest, without joy. I’m sure you have a to-do list you’re ignoring right now to read this very email.

My goal for the rest of this year is to find some balance. To Goldilocks my busy-ness, my relationships, my fitness: not too much, not too little. Just right.

Whatever outlet you have to find joy, please make time for it. Remember to stop and be present – whether your one true love is pizza or a person. Don’t lose an entire year of pizza making because life is busy.

Your to-do list can wait.

And you’ll probably finish it faster, with less angst, once you’ve had some rest.

# Shallot Tarte Tatin

Ingredients

4 large torpedo shallots (8 if using grocery store shallots), ends cut off, dry skin peeled off, and sliced in half lengthwise
1 head of garlic, cloves peeled
1/2 cup sugar
2 tbsp water
3 tbsp butter
1 tbsp thyme
1 tsp salt
Pepper to taste
1lb of puff pastry

Method

Heat an oven-safe 10” or 12” pan, such as a well-seasoned carbon steel or cast iron, on the stove on medium heat. Add the sugar and water. Stir until the sugar dissolves. Heat until the sugar turns into a deep amber colour, around 10–12 minutes. Try not to stir as the sugar may crystallize.

Once the sugar is caramelized, add in the butter. Stir to evenly incorporate. Add a pinch of salt, a generous amount of black pepper, and 1 tsp of dried thyme (1 tbsp fresh).

Add the shallots, cut side down. Add whole cloves of garlic around the shallots.

Cut the puff pastry to a circle 1” larger than the size of your pan, using a dinner plate as a template. Place on top of the shallots, tucking in the sides to create a crust that can be gloriously coated in salted caramel.

Poke a bunch of holes in the top with a fork to allow steam to escape so the pastry doesn’t puff up and away from the shallots. (If it does puff in the oven, poke it with a paring knife to release the steam).

Bake for 45 minutes until golden brown.

Remove from the oven Once the caramel bubbles stop bubbling, but before it has cooled – around 5 minutes – place a plate on top of the pastry and flip (use oven mitts!). If you flip too early the caramel will pool, too late and the caramel will have begun hardening onto the pan and hold onto your shallots.

If the caramel pours out, you can’t really fix that. It’s happened to me (that’s what went wrong with my Melissa Clark upside down peach cobbler). It will still taste good. If the caramel hardens you have two options.

If nothing will release from the pan, gently warm the pan on the stovetop to melt the caramel.
More likely, some shallots will stick to the pan. Remove these with a fork and place them onto the tart.

Serve while warm or eat cold from the fridge in the middle of the night in your snacking cape. This is so delicious I had to take all of the leftovers to friends because I would take my teeth out in the middle of the night to eat the rest of it.

Granola Daddy

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 12:00:00 +0000

My life is currently all granola, all the time. I had meant to write you all a bunch of recipes for peaches this week, but I spent my whole week being Granola Daddy (in addition to hosting cookbook dinner club and a wonderful date night at Bhima’s Warung. Bhima’s never disappoints.)

All this means I haven’t been in my home kitchen at all.

Instead, you get stories about granola + some tips on how to cut peaches.

Granola Daddy

During my first week in the granola business I had a date. He asked to buy a bag of granola and said “Thanks Granola Daddy!” while handing me cash.

I shared this story on Instagram and it took on a life of its own. The entire community is calling me Granola Daddy. I’m trying to embrace my new identity as Granola Daddy.

It makes me slightly uncomfortable, in the way that I don’t like being sexualized and objectified by strangers (or sexualizing granola), but people are using it in a very fun and light way that works right now. My therapist thinks I should lean into the discomfort and embrace it. Frankly it’s a really catchy name for grocery store aisles and farmer’s markets.

It’s not the brand yet, but I am the Granola Daddy now.

Part of what’s helped me accept this new identity is that I asked ChatGPT who Granola Daddy is, and here is what ChatGPT said (unedited):

Introducing Granola Daddy, the enigmatic guru of all things wholesome and crunchy! With a beard as robust as his passion for organic oats, Granola Daddy is a nature-loving, tree-hugging, trail-blazing legend. Born amidst the wild meadows and misty mountains, he spent his early days foraging for forgotten berries and crafting artisanal granola recipes under the moonlit sky.

A former zen master turned granola alchemist, Granola Daddy can often be found barefoot in his sustainably-built cabin, concocting blends that send taste buds on a journey through the cosmos. When he’s not busy spreading the gospel of whole grains and dried fruits, he’s leading meditation sessions in the heart of the forest, connecting with squirrels and sharing ancient tales of chia seeds and superfoods.

A man of many hats, or rather, beanies, Granola Daddy is not just a breakfast visionary. He’s an advocate for eco-friendly living, hosting workshops on upcycling mason jars and weaving hammocks from recycled hemp. Join Granola Daddy on his quest for granola greatness and experience a life illuminated by the golden glow of sun-kissed oats and the sweet embrace of Mother Nature herself.

I mean, it’s not wrong.

I debated if I should rebrand the granola business to Granola Daddy – I bought granoladaddy.com to be safe – but after some very robust conversations on Instagram (and hundreds of poll votes! So many DMs! Y’all have OPINIONS!), I have decided that Granola Daddy will be my title, rather than the brand.

At least, for now.

My friend (and old boss), Nigel, asked if he could help me find retail locations that would be a good fit to stock the granola. This can help build some brand awareness in other cities in Ontario and create some sales stability to invest in equipment. In response to his offer I called him Channel Sales Daddy. We realized that if this business scales we could need a Marketing Daddy. Our CFO could be the Sugar Daddy. I’m not sure how HR Daddy will feel about this, but as a D-Level executive they would be able to enforce a culture of respect.

Daddy listens. Daddy cares.

Daddy Cares will be the brand of some charity initiatives I’ll be kicking off this Fall. Stay tuned. If you would like to be on my list of volunteers to call on, send me an email.

I will also be a lunch vendor at Art Hop on September 9 at the Sculpted event in Uptown Waterloo, with The Granola Daddy Experience. I’ll be making some exclusive KWFamous flavours for the event: like Mayor Berry (all the berries), Mt. Trashmore (every nut and seed), BlackBerry (discontinued), and an Oktoberfest savoury granola (TBD on the dehydrated sauerkraut, probably pretzel flavour). To follow Art Hop’s alien theme, I will also be making a vac-packed granola bar (compostable bag).

I might even make a Bieber Fever flavour (vanilla with a hint of orange, because Florida). The goal is fun. We all need more fun in the world.

On the website, you can now order a bundle with one of every flavour, Granola Daddy’s Bundle of Joy. Save $5 and get free shipping!

Morning Bun is officially Daddy’s Favourite.

And I’m making a fun, seasonal flavour every week with market produce, which I’m calling Granola Daddy’s Flavour of the Week. My Flavour of the Week will be a Kitchener Market exclusive, as I’ll only be able to make 10–20 bags every week.

Last week I bought organic, local raspberries that I dehydrated, turned into a powder, and added to the Hazelnut & Chocolate flavour. It was very popular. This week I’m dehydrating some Ontario organic peaches and adding to the Morning Bun base for a peach cobbler granola.

A few more things. I don’t personally use Facebook, but I have made a Probably Worth Sharing account on Facebook that I guess I’ll have to learn how to use. I have also made a Google Business listing, so you may add reviews there (there are already TWELVE 5-star reviews already! I am crying.)

It’s only week two in business. I am still figuring out how much granola I can make in a day and sell in a week.

Last week I tried to max out oven capacity: I made almost 300 bags of granola. It worked, but the unintended consequence was that weighing and packing granola took 8 people hours (4 from me, 4 from my friend Jin Sol). I can solve this with a weigh/filling machine ($10,000!!!) or hire staff, but until then I’m going to make slightly less granola each week.

Please turn the sound on this video to hear Thompson, who owns The Wooden Boat Food Company where I’m renting kitchen space, refer to me as Granola Daddy while I maneuver 600lbs of oats.

I’m starting to stock ingredients at a larger scale: I ordered a half pallet of local, organic oats from Oak Manor, which got delivered on Thursday, and my half pallet of organic nuts, seeds, oils, and chocolate arrived on Friday. This means, at least for 6 weeks, I shouldn’t be texting my friends to run to the grocery store to buy me more of everything I ran out of because… math is hard. But it also means I’ll be losing a bake day to scaling out 30kg bags of pecans into recipe-sized, vacuum-sealed portions for ease of mixing and freshness.

All this means I will have much less granola for sale this week.

I have also been asked by many people how to eat granola, so I’ve added some flavour pairings and ways to eat on the website. It’s meant to be served on yogurt or with milk as a breakfast cereal, but it’s equally great as a crispy ice cream topping, used to make home-made granola bars or energy balls (for that Granola Daddy Energy), a topping for fruit cobbler (technically a fruit crisp), or straight out of the bag by the fistful.

I have so many other learnings to share about actually starting the business, but I need to save those for another day because Granola Daddy is tired.

How does so much happen in one week?

*My booth at the Kitchener Market, full stocked! I need to work on my signage, which looks great in this photo, and is very hidden in real life. Booth plants and pots were selected by the lovely folks at Talula Fields with the request that they not die easily from my neglect.*

Peach is the winner

I asked on Instagram what seasonal fruit to use in Daddy’s Flavour of the Week and peaches won in a landslide.

I love peaches so I was fine with this.

Peach is my preferred Mario Kart character.

I have a peach patterned shirt you will see me wearing around town most of August – it’s made by 18Waits, manufactured in Toronto!

Peaches are this wonderful, magical moment of summer. You can get them all summer, but you can only get the good good peaches for a short window of time.

The kind of peach that’s filled with juice, so tender it could fall apart at any moment, the kind you shouldn’t cook – your only option is to eat it over the sink and wash your face, your hands, your shirt right after.

Free the peach

There are two main variations in peach variety, freestone and clingstone peaches, named after whether the peach pit will give you trouble. Cutting a clingstone peach can often be an ordeal, but last year I learned I was doing it wrong my whole life.

To free a peach, you don’t cut from north to south. I know you want to cut down the peach’s buttcheeks, from north to south, but don’t. Instead, cut around the equator, then twist the peach open like an Oreo. It works every time, for every peach (except for unripe peaches which you shouldn’t be eating anyway).

You can watch how to do this in my video for Peach Caprese salad, below, which includes a bonus apocalypse.

And I’ve shared it a few times, but please make my stone fruit & ricotta toast with the best peaches (or plums, apricots, or nectarines) you can find. It will change your life.

*My rushed version of Melissa Clark’s upside down peach cobbler*

If you’re thinking about what else to make with peaches, peach cobbler is excellent – I recently made Melissa Clark’s upside down cobbler which is actually a poor man’s Tarte Tatin and very delicious (I made it with apricots and was impatient with letting it cool). It was very fast and very good.

You can, of course, make a peach crisp with any granola (if you’re using mine, I would personally use Morning Bun or Coconut Cream Pie).

Peach compote is an easy stovetop side you can add to basically anything to make it extra delicious.

But really, just stop what you’re doing.

Right now.

Take a break from whatever gruelling activity you’re pushing yourself through and grab a peach and eat it like an apple.

You’ll be so happy that you did.

Guest Post: Home is Toronto

Sun, 13 Aug 2023 12:00:00 +0000

Marko here – it’s been a crazy week launching the granola business. Sunday was my first day in the kitchen, and I made just over 200 bags of organic granola – which promptly sold out (I have 6 bags of chocolate hazelnut left)!

I had only expected to sell 10 bags and I had no other ingredients on hand. I am learning so much!

I’m back in the kitchen today making more granola, and my friend Jin Sol is helping me with packaging. With Jin Sol’s help, I hope to make 300+ bags this week. If you would like to get granola this week, I will be adding inventory to the online store at 8pm once I finish baking and packaging.

Your best bet to secure granola is:

Order online for shipping in Ontario. Free shipping over $75 and 2 for $25 discounts apply automatically at checkout.
Order online for pick-up at the Kitchener Market on Saturday, August 19. This reserves your flavour (select pick-up at checkout) so you don’t have to stress.
Take your chances in the Granola Hunger Games next Saturday! Ignore the pre-order and hope for the best.
Stop by Legacy Greens or Aura–La and see if they have any left in stock.

Since I’m swamped with learning how to do all this, I’ve brought Marci back to write a guest post about her recent trip to Toronto. As with all guests posts, guest writers are compensated for their work because I believe in a fair labour economy and I put my money where my mouth is.

Yours truly,

Granola Daddy

Hello friends, it’s Marci here again, filling in for Marko on the blog while he launches his granola business!! Today I have a piece that is part memoir, part love letter, and–for those of you close enough to make the trek–a handy guide to eating all the delicious things in a very small part of Toronto’s east end.

Recently I spent two weeks in Toronto, house and dog sitting for a friend. I arrived in the city on the last Sunday of Pride. I knew it was Pride before I landed, but the reality of what that meant escaped me as I made my way from the airport to downtown. Had I stopped to consider the timing, I would have picked a very different route or taken a cab to avoid all of downtown. Alas, I found myself reckoning with my choices in the heart of Yonge-Dundas square, laptop bag and suitcase in hand, surrounded by everyone, everywhere, all at once.

It’s oddly appropriate to return to the only place that’s ever really felt like home only to be greeted by incredible amounts of glitter (which I love) and the general sentiment that the city was actively flipping me off (which I remembered well). Trying to get to the east end on this particular Sunday felt like rolling a boulder uphill. Between the endless construction, every streetcar on diversion or replaced with buses, the crush of the crowds, and Toronto’s general state of disrepair, it took me almost 3.5 hours to get from the airport to the Beaches. Normally, this 33-km trek takes 90 minutes. By the time I step off the streetcar I eventually found, I’m starving. My last meal of a sad airport muffin is nothing but a distant memory.

The best and worst way to be welcomed home.

Toronto was my home for 11 years. I grew up in rural Alberta. It was a certified Big Deal for me to go to University at all, let alone in Canada’s largest city at age 18. My family didn’t love or understand my choice, but from the moment I stepped foot on campus I knew Toronto was going to be significant for me. This city shaped my identity as I became a young graduate and eventually an adult, navigating several different types of corporate worlds to see which might fit. But it’s also the place where I learned to cook. Where I briefly ran a very illegal catering company out of my apartment. Where I discovered phở, portuguese custard tarts, and egyptian falafel. Toronto introduced me to a whole new world of culinary adventures.

Living in Toronto often feels like an extreme sport. It’s not easy. It took me three years to stop packing up my apartment and threatening to move back to Calgary at the end of every semester. I actually did move once, but came back before the summer ended, because, Toronto. I’m as attached to this city as I am my own arms.

This affection is sometimes challenging to balance with the acknowledgement of this city’s very real shortcomings. If Toronto had an attachment style it would be anxious-avoidant and the more you try to love it, the harder it wants to push you away.

The city is grappling with several crises right now. Housing affordability is non-existent. Homelessness is an emergency. The TTC has been chronically underfunded for the last three decades and therefore cannot be counted on to reliably shuttle you from one part of the city to the other. You devote far more mental and physical energy to staying alive here than you would if you lived almost anywhere else.

Despite these shortcomings, I can still see how in exchange for this particular kind of agony Toronto promises you a lot. There’s the 24 hour food scene, the arts and culture, the events, the neighborhoods with their own identities and charms, and the beach that beckons in the summer. We have the Blue Jays, the Raptors, and the Leafs. Cool and weird art things are everywhere, from the small independent galleries to the big behemoth museums. Once a year I would get ambitious and hit the Gardiner Ceramic museum, the ROM and the AGO all in the same weekend. I’m honestly still sad that the Bata Shoe Museum is no more. If you’re fortunate enough to build a community of people here who will love you back the way the city cannot, I believe you'll find there’s no better place to live.

I love this city.

I didn’t realize until I arrived that my friend's house was only a few blocks away from my last place. In 2015, I moved out of the rent controlled one-bedroom apartment at Church & Wellesley that I’d had for six years and into a semi-detached house I would share with my then-partner at Jones & Gerrard. We lived here for a little over a year before moving out of the city all together. It is still the best house I’ve ever lived in.

Historically, whenever I think about our life in Leslieville, all my memories are tinged with the knowledge that this cohabitation was the beginning of the end for us. Even though we tried to make it work for another two years, living together in Toronto shone the brightest of lights on all the cracks that had formed between us. My love for the city was among the larger ones. He hated it here. I was always trying to convince him of this city’s worth (and mine, by extension) by pushing him to go to new restaurants and events with me. I was so sure that if we found the right cool thing, he would finally see this city the way I do.

Obviously, it didn’t work.

Now, as I stand in my friend’s kitchen, scrolling for a place to grab dinner, I see there are so many familiar restaurants just steps away. I’m thrilled that six years and one pandemic later, most of the ones I remember are still in business. Suddenly the next two weeks feel like a chance to untangle all my experiences from the emotional messiness of that relationship, and reclaim them for myself.

On my first full day, I walked to our former house. The landscaping we’d started in the front yard has run wild, ground cover plants doing what we’d intended and filling the space with their bright green leaves. The house looks like it’s been largely left to its own devices, toeing the line between shabby and unkempt. I’m pretty sure the tenants who moved in after us are still there, but the desire to email the landlords and ask for them to be in touch if that ever changes is strong. I loved this house. The rest of the street feels exactly the same as it was, a mix of young families and old-time Torontonians. I wonder about the house attached to ours– it sold right before we moved to a young couple with a baby. Its previous occupant was a man in his 70s named Frank who’d lived there for 30 years. I used to be able to hear him snore through the wall.

Two blocks away is Maha’s, an Egyptian brunch spot that is impossibly busy on the weekend. I go for a solo lunch on Thursday, ordering the date grilled cheese and chickpea soup. We came here a lot for a weekday breakfast. I would order the falafel and he’d order the sunny eggs & foole. We’d often share. But their grilled cheese has always been my favorite menu item. It’s a luxurious sandwich. The saltiness of the cheese, the sweetness of the dates and the bread, it’s decadent while still being a reasonable daytime meal. I wish I had been able to come more than once.

Since I am primarily here to care for my friend’s dog and house, every morning starts with a long walk. Generally we head to the beach, but a few mornings I decide to walk north to what is now The Black Pony. It used to be the Flying Pony, a charming neighborhood coffee shop that made incredible pastries. On Saturdays they had Orange Blossoms, their version of a laminated pastry morning bun that was outrageously rich and unexpectedly citrusy. Some weekends I’d be up early, unable to sleep in, and I’d slip out of bed and immediately walk over. The city would be so quiet, hardly a car or person in sight. All the shops of Little India still tucked in for the night, the sidewalks looking so odd and empty, missing the booths and merchandise that spills out onto the street. I’d order three Orange Blossoms, one for each of us to enjoy with our coffee, and one extra I would secretly eat by myself on the walk back. Ironically, I’d end up eating all of them more often than not. He didn’t really like sweets.

In its new identity as both a coffee shop and snack bar, the Black Pony serves Orange Blossoms every day, and wine and cocktails every night. They aren’t as good as I remember, but the chocolate chip cookies are a knockout. I end up here most days, either on a walk, or meeting up with friends for coffee, or spending a deliciously sun-drenched evening on their patio, savoring a very nice glass of orange wine and people watching the neighborhood. Over the years the Orange Blossoms have morphed via memory into the holy grail of sweet treats for me, the standard by which I hold all other morning-bun type treats up to, and nothing has ever come close. But now I wonder if their magic may have come more from the city than the actual treat itself. In the act of venturing out before anyone else was awake and procuring them. Something I could share with the person I loved. There was something so special about having to wait all week for them that I’m almost relieved they don’t taste as good to me anymore. I’m not sure I want to be able to get one any time I want.

Over the weekend a friend comes to stay and it’s the perfect opportunity to take her to my favorite of all places, Gio Rana’s Really Really Nice Restaurant, aka The Nose. It’s called that because there’s no signage outside, other than a large nose sculpture affixed over the door. I howled when I first Googled “building with nose Toronto” and discovered its “real” name. It is, truly, a really, really nice restaurant. In the past, The Nose was a date night staple for us and the place we took anyone visiting from out of town.

The building used to be a bank, which feels very obvious the second you see it. When they ripped out all the teller stations to turn it into a restaurant they left the drywall bare and unpatched. String lights zig zag across the ceiling and the decor includes half dressed mannequins that are perched in various places throughout. A tangled mess of Christmas lights hangs off a vent in the center of the dining room, as if someone started trying to untangle them to hang them purposefully, but instead gave up and just taped them to the side in a jumble and called it a day. They give off a cheerful glow all the same. The bank vault door sits open at the back and a long table has been nestled inside for group dining. This weekend there are some staff working I recognize, even after all these years. I’m thrilled to see their familiar faces.

One of my favorite Toronto stories to tell is how one of the bartenders at The Nose was also a bartender at The Auld Spot on the Danforth, a staple for meeting up with west-end friends given its proximity to the subway line, which was a funny enough coincidence on its own when we discovered it. But one Saturday morning my boyfriend and I walked down to the Hastings Snack Bar to get coffee and polish donuts (paczki) and he decided to pop over to the attached barber shop for a haircut. I sat at the counter with my donut to wait for him when suddenly the same bartender came over and offered to make me a coffee before disappearing through the adjoining door between the two businesses. When my boyfriend emerged twenty minutes later he said, “You’re not going to BELIEVE who just cut my hair.”

Of course it was the same guy. I used to see him all the time and we would high five each other as we passed without exchanging a single word.

Sadly, I did not see said former bartender/barista/barber when my friend and I dined at The Nose this time, but I’m thrilled to say that the risotto balls are still impeccable. The vibes have not changed a single bit. Between the two of us, we ordered as many dishes as we could to share and left beyond full and so grateful for each other’s company. When I think of it now, I think of my friend, looking around in awe at the decor, proclaiming her love for a place that means so much to me. The Nose is my happiest of places.

A year into living together, my partner and I started having conversations about moving out of Toronto. I didn’t want to go. I could see the value in leaving financially, and I wasn’t against it on a whole, but I wanted a few more years in the city before we did. Ultimately that didn’t fly. It was clear my choice was “stay in the relationship and move” or “end the relationship and stay.”

I tried to justify my choice by saying that it takes so much time and money just to live here, you feel like you have nothing leftover to actually take advantage of what the city offers. The theatre. Concerts. Incredible food. I repeated over and over to my friends (and myself), "we're leaving the city to live somewhere where we can breathe easier, live quieter, and do more.”

I have never once actually wanted to live quieter.

The very last place I remember going out to eat before we left the city was Eulalie’s Corner Store. I think it was newly opened at the time. We discovered it by accident in a fit of desperation to find something to do for dinner. I’m confident we had been arguing because I didn’t want to cook and he didn’t want to go to any of our usual places. We settled on trying someplace new as a compromise. We sat on their patio and talked about how charming it was, and how good the food was, and I remember feeling so happy to have found another neighborhood gem, and then immediately so sad that I probably wouldn’t ever go back.

Our exit was hurried. Once the decision was made, it felt like the boxes arrived overnight. We found a place in Kitchener on our first trek out there and it was available immediately. There was no drawn out goodbye, no visiting of old haunts. One day we lived in Leslieville, and then we didn’t.

My life in Toronto came to an end.

It’s fitting, then, that during this trip I ended up at Eulalie’s on a day that felt especially fraught. An otherwise lovely afternoon with a friend had ended with an argument between us about mismatched expectations and I left abruptly, jumping on a passing streetcar almost mid sentence, before either of us could say anything more we might regret. I was so upset. I came back to the east end hungry and looking for comfort. I needed a place I could eat and put myself back together.

I remembered Eulalie’s.

It was Monday and there were only a handful of people (and dogs!) on the patio and one server working alone. I ordered a burger and a beer–the server confiding in me that she alone had finangled a small keg of Oast’s Strawberry Rhubarb Ale through a friend of hers and they were maybe the only spot in the city serving it. It was a delicious secret we shared. As I sat there and reflected on the day’s events, it felt so right to be there. Like I was part of the neighborhood again. The rest of the week passes by in an instant. I eat, work, walk the dog, see friends, and eat some more. Muscle memory.

For two weeks, slipping back into life in Toronto was like finding an old pair of jeans at the back of my closet and being delighted they still fit. It was a gift to have this time, to sink into the city like the home that it is and get a chance to say both hello and goodbye. There was a comfort and joy in spending time with the places I missed but an undeniable ache over the circumstances that made me miss them in the first place.

I can say now that leaving Toronto was a significant shift. It cleaves my life into a defined before/after in a way few other decisions have. I think back to choosing between my relationship and the city and I wonder what the version of me who chose to stay would be doing. Would she still live in the city? What kind of career would she have? Did she stay in our house with a couple of roommates or did she move back downtown? Maybe she ended up leaving anyway but did so on her own terms.

I have no answers. I think about her a lot.

Two weeks was also just enough time to start to puzzle the pieces together to see if I could, in fact, call Toronto home again. It would be hard. And outrageously expensive. But I could see it. I’d ride the streetcars, and start my mornings with coffee and a walk on the lake shore. I’d take the subway and across the city to see old friends. The busyness of this city sets my bloodstream on fire like nowhere else. But two weeks is also only enough time to see the golden shiny side of this place, especially in the summer.

I think again of the Orange Blossoms. Like the former once-a-week treat, my time in the city has been rare. When I’m here and it’s great, it’s easy to think I want more. Maybe I DO want to live here. But on the one night when I had no plans, a familiar loneliness crept in. I know that if I moved back, I’d spend more nights alone than otherwise. I may have been the first to go, but the truth is most of my friends have also long since left the city for more affordable living. I’m not sure I’d have the community here I need.

When I leave, Toronto offers me no more answers than I had when I arrived. But I made so many new replacement memories in my favorite spots. And I ate so many delicious things. I feel like I spent two weeks with my younger self, reminding us both that everything ultimately turns out okay, even if it’s not what you hoped for. I learned that the places we called home are still there for us. Part of my heart has permanently settled here, so I’ll never be able to fully close the door on this city. The option to move back is always on the table.

And if I did, I know exactly where I’d go to eat.

Cereal Entrepreneur

Sun, 06 Aug 2023 12:00:00 +0000

I started a granola business!

Today, as you read this, it is my first day working in a commercial kitchen making granola under the Probably Worth Sharing brand.

The granola business will run alongside this newsletter and my YouTube channel under the same brand. The content continues!

Here’s the granola sales pitch, and a bit further below is why I’m doing this if you’re interested!

Tl;dr:

I’m making granola out of the Wooden Boat kitchen and selling it online (in Ontario only) and at the Kitchener Market on Saturdays.

Buy some here!

Please forgive my Photoshopped images on the website, I’m going to take better photos this week once the first commercial batches are done!

## What are the flavours?

I’m offering these six flavours as year-round classics, and all flavours are vegan:

Morning Bun
Carrot Cake (with actual carrots in it!)
Lemon Poppyseed
Coconut Cream Pie
Cookies & Cream
Chocolate and Hazelnut

I’m also going to be creating seasonal flavours, like pumpkin pie (with actual pumpkin!), gingerbread, etc. And market flavours with whatever I find at the market – I made one during recipe testing with dehydrated local raspberries I turned into a powder, it was *chefs kiss*. Market flavours will be available in a few weeks once I get a rhythm going.

I’m using 100% organic ingredients, from fair-trade and direct source suppliers. You can view the full list of ingredient sources on my website. The organic oats are from Oak Manor, in Tavistock, ON.

I’ve also tried to focus great taste and a great nutrition profile, so the different flavours have 7–8g of protein per 1/2 cup (55g) serving, and only 3–7g of sugar per (depending on flavour).

*On the website you can dive into where all of the ingredients come from. One of my goals with Probably Worth Sharing, the media project, is to change the food system by shining a light on how messed up our food is – so here I wanted to hold myself accountable to a high standard of food quality.*

How much is it?

Introductory pricing is $12.99 for 330g, or 2 for $25.

330g is around 3 cups or 6 servings (1/2 cup | 55g).

Where to buy?

You can order granola on my website, either for shipping (in Ontario only) or for pick-up at the Kitchener Market on Saturdays (7–2). I will also be at the Wednesday Market this week from 2–7.

I currently have two local retailers stocking as well: Legacy Greens has Morning Bun, Carrot Cake, and Chocolate Hazelnut in stock (available on Tuesday). Aura-La Pastries & Provisions will have a limited amount of all six flavours in stock next week as well.

Why pre-order for pick-up?

I strongly suggest you pre-order online if you want a specific flavour. Since I launched the website on Thursday I’ve already pre-sold over 100 bags of granola for this week and I don’t know how much I’ll have left by Saturday. (This is all very exciting.)

Why is shipping so expensive?

If you order online shipping is $20. I’m sorry shipping is so expensive, but that’s just what Canada Post charges me. I hope I can bring that price down over time as I learn more about how to optimize shipping fees. I’m offering free shipping on orders over $75 (use code Free75).

*I added a large amount of detail about the packaging on the website including how you can dispose it and its certifications. I would like to see this kind of transparency from more companies in the food industry as we move to a more eco-conscious world.*

What about the packaging?

It’s all compostable!

I wanted to do something within my value system. Originally I had hoped to use glass containers, but they are expensive and heavy for shipping. Glass jars would add $2 to the retail cost.

After a lot of research, I ended up finding compostable zipper pouches and compostable stickers (you can learn more on the website). These are made primarily from cassava and are certified to compost at room temperature in 180 days – so even if they end up in the trash they will still decompose.

Is it gluten free?

The short answer is I have to say no.

Because I’m operating out of a shared commercial kitchen that also handles flour, I can’t guarantee the granola is gluten free. I don’t have the time or capacity to send it out for gluten testing at this stage.

Because of this there is a may contain gluten warning on the label, and a blanket allergy label.

The long-term answer is in order to obtain gluten free, vegan, kosher, and other certifications I’ll need to have my own kitchen space I can control – which will come much later.

Why is everything vegan, you’re not vegan?

There’s a few reasons I decided to go all vegan.

Originally I explored using butter in some flavours – but I would want to use the good, regeneratively farmed butter. There isn’t enough margin to do that. So I’ve replaced the butter with great tasting oils – organic Sicilian extra virgin olive oil, organic high oleic sunflower oil, and organic virgin coconut oil (different oils are used depending on the flavour).

Some of the flavours were naturally vegan, and then it became confusing from a labeling and retail sales point of view. Why are some flavours vegan, and some not? Do I need to make vegan variations of non-vegan flavours? It was easier to make everything vegan.

Then a few other ingredients, like honey, had to be swapped out. I found a regeneratively farmed, single-step evaporated cane sugar from a Green Cane Project farm that tastes great and I feel good about using.

Why can you only ship in Ontario?

To ship across provinces or to the US, I need to be operating out of a CFIA/FDA approved kitchen. It’s a higher standard than most commercial kitchens.

As well, to make an organic claim on the label for cross-Province shipping, I would need to obtain a Canada Organic certification (which audits my ingredient purchases). That takes time to complete and will happen much later.

But… why?

I’ve always wanted to open a bakery but the startup costs to do so are pretty high. A bakery bakery is a big bet on something I think I would enjoy, but I don’t have proof of that yet. I’ve been thinking about smaller scale ways to try it out.

When Ontario passed the home baking law in 2021, I thought perhaps that might be my way forward – but the Region of Waterloo Public Health supersedes that law, and you still need a separate commercial kitchen from your living space, even for low risk foods. So I tabled that dream and focused on what I could do – write and make videos.

And I’ve been doing that full-time for 8 months now. I’ve found it really challenging in ways I didn’t expect. When I left the tech industry, I thought money stress would be the big thing. But it turns out social stress was – I didn’t realize how much I relied on my work interactions for structure and social fulfillment.

While I love writing this newsletter and making YouTube videos, it’s very lonely work. It all exists in my own head, on my own timelines, with my own motivation. Much of it is about me, which I don’t always enjoy – in fact, it’s a bit demotivating. I created more YouTube videos when I was working full-time in tech than I have doing this work full-time.

I spent a lot of this year trying to close that gap in socialization that’s been missing in this new work. I’ve invested a lot in friendships, existing and new – like Cookbook Supper Club, my quarterly fancy dinner party, traveling to see friends, making friends with shop, restaurant, and farm owners, and more. It’s been a great year for friends and community.

You’ll see this focus on community continue into my content strategy through the rest of the year – as I introduce interviews in this newsletter and bring guests onto videos (Marci was here two weeks ago to film scones with me!). Marci will also be here next week with a guest post, but that’s to give me a week off to start the granola business.

For granola, my hope is that it gives me structure and community. I’m working out of Wooden Boat’s shared commercial kitchen every Sunday, a kitchen some of my food community friends like Beck’s Broth already operate out of. I’m going to be selling at the Kitchener Market every Saturday, also across from Beck’s Broth (and KW Empanadas). And I’m doing retail with my friends at Legacy Greens and Aura-La Pastries & Provisions. I’ve been able to riff on the granola ideas with my friends at Humble Lotus Sushi.

It’s been fun, and I think it’s going to be even more fun. I’m excited to be part of the Kitchener Market and get to meet folks in real life, get to know the other vendors, and become part of this lovely food community that’s growing here in Kitchener.

Hope to see you at the Market.

P.S. I have thought about writing about what the process of starting a food business is like – from business licenses and health inspections, to labels and regulations, to marketing and shipping. If you would like to see that as a future newsletter topic, let me know.

The American Breakfast Sandwich

Sun, 30 Jul 2023 12:00:00 +0000

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What makes a good, classic American breakfast sandwich?

I didn’t expect this to be the question I needed to answer on my vacation, but the question found me.

It all started in Toronto.

My friend Jin Sol had told me about Gold Standard, a walk-up breakfast sandwich place in Roncesvalles, Toronto. I happened to be in Toronto, so I stopped at Gold Standard before heading to the airport on Friday.

I got Gold Standard’s classic breakfast sandwich: an English muffin, soft scrambled eggs, bacon, hot sauce, and plot twist – pickles. It was incredible, and the best I ate on my trip.

I had two.

The next day, Saturday, I was at Disneyland with Mike and Billy – who I hadn’t seen in four years! Normally at Disney we would snack throughout the day at the park, but with my Invisalign we decided that sit-down restaurants would be easier, opting for a bigger breakfast and dinner. At Carnation Café we found a breakfast sandwich: brioche bun, folded scrambled eggs, American cheese, bacon.

*While the photo looks good, Guy Fieri’s sandwich was nothing to write home about.*

On Sunday, at Burbank Airport, I had an hour to kill before my flight to San Francisco. It turns out Burbank’s aiport is as small as Kitchener’s and security took all of four minutes, leaving me with enough time to eat and do my tooth brushing routine in a public bathroom, which I have to tell you is not fun.

Guy Fieri’s name is on a restaurant there, so naturally I got a breakfast sandwich. It was very similar to Disneyland’s: a brioche bun, overcooked folded scrambled eggs, American cheese, and bacon. Served with lukewarm tater tots that I swear to you came out of freezer bag from Costco.

At this point I joked on Instagram that I should find a breakfast sandwich every day for the rest of my trip, mediocrity be damned.

Later that day I met up with my friends Janice and Miles, in San Francisco’s Inner Sunset district. Janice, not knowing about my journey so far, asked if I wanted “really good fish and chips” or “a really good breakfast sandwich” for dinner.

The answer was obvious.

We went to Devil’s Teeth Baking Company, a bakery, where we got both a classic and a special breakfast sandwich (and several cookies to share.) Both breakfast sandwiches are made with biscuits and soft scrambled eggs. The Classic with American cheese and bacon; The Special with pepperjack, avocado, and lemon garlic aioli. The Special was a bit much – too fatty. I enjoyed the biscuit, but it quickly fell apart. This is knife-and-fork food, not eat-on-the-sidewalk friendly.

On Monday there were no breakfast sandwiches to be had. I was running late and the Mariott was terrible – no iron, no room service, no breakfast sandwich.

On Tuesday I went to Alameda to see Christina and Paul, my foodie friends who I told all about my breakfast sandwich tour. Christina made me a breakfast sandwich with folded scrambled eggs with chives, thinly sliced tomato, aged cheddar, and a buttered, toasted English muffin (quite good). Paul intended to make me one on Wednesday, but when I had walked into downtown Alameda for groceries and coffee… I found breakfast sandwiches at The Beanery. Clearly I needed this for the evaluation: a toasted English muffin, a bacon-inside-egg-patty (I think microwaved), and cheese. It was not my favourite.

Heading home Wednesday night, at the San Francisco Airport, I debated getting a breakfast sandwich at Lark Creek Grill (Terminal 2) – but it was nothing new. California has gone all in on the brioche bun and bacon. At this point I was tired of sad bacon and overcooked eggs.

Perhaps with an English muffin and breakfast sausage they would have won me over.

Instead I got a burger.

So what even is an American breakfast sandwich?

The classic American breakfast sandwich is a spectrum. I most closely associate it with the McDonald’s Egg McMuffin: an English muffin, ham, egg, and cheese. Though, we can all agree the superior Egg McMuffin is the sausage variation.

I can support the brioche buns of California’s breakfast sandwiches, but they veer closely into New York’s iconic Bacon, Egg, and Cheddar (BEC) – which is made with soft scrambled eggs, cheddar, hot sauce, and a kaiser bun.

The lines get blurry as you get into different breads. My local favourite, The Yeti Cafe’s Pregnant Cowgirl is technically a sandwich you eat at breakfast, but with the addition of avocado, tomato, and garlic aioli on a bagel, is it a Breakfast Sandwich™?

(No, but you should still get one with half salad, half hash browns).

One step further… the tortilla. Is a breakfast burrito a sandwich? I say no. It’s a burrito.

And no, you cannot have a keto breakfast sandwich. PUT THE LETTUCE DOWN OR MAKE SSAM INSTEAD!

So here I am going to discuss each component: bread, egg, cheese, meat, and accouterments, and further below is my recipe for my ideal classic American breakfast sandwich.

Bread

English Muffins

I’m partial to the English muffin. They offer substantial benefits and few downsides. A good English muffin is soft, you can bite through it without squishing out the eggs. They also crisp nicely, the best part of an English muffin is the slightly-over toasted crispy edge. English muffins hold onto things, whether it’s butter, pickles, eggs, or cheese, through the power of nooks and crannies. A well made English muffin has a deep, almost malty flavour.

The downside? Good English muffins are hard to find (you should make them, they are easy – recipe below). Grocery store English muffins are often dry, crumbly, and filled with dough conditioners:

Enriched Wheat Flour (may Contain Barley), Water, Yeast, Wheat Gluten, Soybean And/or Canola Oil, Salt, Sugar, Calcium Propionate, Fumaric Acid, Vegetable Mono- And Diglycerides. May Contain Potassium Sorbate, Sorbic Acid. Topping: Corn Meal, Corn And/or Rice Flour.

Compared to:

Flour, milk, butter, sugar, salt, yeast, semolina flour

Brioche Buns

I understand why restaurants go for brioche, and why you might at home. Good brioche buns are easier to find, you can get them at most grocery stores. For restaurants, they already have them for burgers, so it’s one less inventory item. They are soft, so you can bite through them easily. But I find a few challenges:

they are much larger so it can be more difficult to shove the whole breakfast sandwich in your mouth.
They cut and toast evenly, so you don’t get those occasional crispy moments of bliss you do with an English muffin.
They are buttery, which is great – except a breakfast sandwich is already quite fatty with egg and meat.

Biscuits

While I very much enjoyed the biscuit at Devil’s Teeth, between the biscuit and the soft scramble the sandwich had no structure or texture – it may as well have been biscuits and gravy. It is not for eating with hands. Good biscuits are hard to find and hard to make. Marci assures me that cheddar and chive scones make for a great breakfast sandwich base, but I find them equally fraglie.

Bagels, kaisers, and sandwich bread

Yes, I have made a breakfast sandwich with a bagel and a fried egg. Yes, I get the Pregnant Cowgirl at the Yeti often. But no, they are not Breakfast Sandwiches™.

Kaisers immediately turn the sandwich into a BEC, and feel more like a lunch affair.

Sandwich bread makes this more of a grilled cheese with eggs. I cannot abide by it.

So, for me, it has to be an English muffin. I will accept brioche. Everything else is a novelty. And it must be a closed faced sandwich, because otherwise you are venturing into eggs Benedict territory.

Eggs

The eggs can be made many ways:

In a mold, unbroken, like at McDonalds
A scramble with the meat in it already, like at The Beanery
A fried egg, like at The Yeti
A firm, folded scramble like at Disney, Guy Fieri’s restaurant, and Christina’s home-made sandwich – potentially with herbs
A soft scramble, like at Gold Standard and Devil’s Teeth

The McDonald’s style steamed egg has that hard-boiled egg taste from the overcooked yolk, and I don’t love the eating experience of distinct whites/yolks. I think fried eggs are delicious, but a fried egg has too much risk of the yolk popping into a mess down the front of your shirt in a sandwich (unless its cooked hard, but then the taste changes). They also don’t fit nicely into an English muffin. Folded scrambled eggs can be good, but they risk being overcooked and rubbery. They do travel well. The soft scramble, with the right English muffin and cheese to give it structure, is the optimal egg for me, but they can be messy to eat on the go.

If you’re making it at home, pick your favourite. I like a soft scramble.

Cheese

There are many approaches to cheese:

American cheese which has various quality. Kraft Singles are heavily processed with 31 ingredients, Kraft Extra Cheddar only has 22 but omits the worst offenders like carrageenan.
Cheddar slices, which are more natural but don’t melt effectively
Cheddar you slice yourself, such as using a bougie aged cheddar
Other melty cheese, like pepperjack and Colby
Goat cheese, if you are an animal

For me I want flavour and meltability, so I do use American cheese here. I wish there was a less processed version easily available, but there is not – so my recommendation is Kraft Extra Cheddar (the Singles are loaded with garbage ingredients)

If you want to do more work (I don’t), Serious Eats has a great explanation on the science of why processed cheese melts, and how to turn bougie cheese into melty cheese. See also this episode of Planet Money on American cheese vaults.

I’m also of the opinion that there should be two slices – for taste and to hold the eggs together. I believe the cheese should be on the bottom English muffin and on top of the eggs. Some recipes have you melt the cheese on the breakfast sausage (as you would a cheeseburger), but these recipes are wrong and they make sloppy sandwiches.

The best bite of cheese on an Egg McMuffin is the half melted cheese you pull off the wrapper.

The Meat

Bacon, sausage, or ham? It’s a personal choice.

You can’t go wrong with bacon, but I strongly prefer breakfast sausage. I do not want ham.

Grocery store breakfast sausage patties are not great – they almost all have corn syrup – so if you’re going to use breakfast sausage you should make your own (it takes minutes! MINUTES!)

Here’s what’s in Johnsonville:

Pork, Water, Sugars (corn Syrup, Dextrose), Salt, Monosodium Glutamate, Lemon Juice Powder (corn Syrup And Lemon Juice Solids, Natural Flavours), Natural Flavours, Modified Vinegar.

Here’s what’s in mine (recipe below):

Pork, Spices

Breakfast sausage is all about the herb mix and crispy exterior. I’ve tried dozens of recipes over the years to land on what I like. I prefer dried herbs, instead of fresh – they can be turned into a powder for more even distribution. Fennel and sage are required. I prefer thyme, but you could go with rosemary or oregano instead. I also add a tiny amount of nutmeg (I did not like the recipes with cloves), but you can leave it out. You need to add some sugar for the caramelized exterior. I’m using cane sugar, you can use brown sugar for a bit more flavour. I find maple syrup overtakes everything else – moving into McGriddle territory, better for side sausages instead of a sandwich.

Accouterments

A breakfast sandwich does not need accents, but they can give it some needed punchiness and balnce. The salty, fatty taste of a McDonald’s Egg Muffin is delightful – but a bit of sweet, heatt, and acid can really make the sandwich amazing.

I think the problem with most breakfast sandwich additions is that they add more creamy, fatty sameness instead of contrast. While “More is More” is very American, I don’t think it makes a better sandwich:

While I love a garlic aioli, I think in the simplicity of a breakfast sandwich is becomes overwhelming and becomes the flavour.
The same for avocado, there is enough fattiness between the eggs and meat. I think it works in a sandwich like The Pregnant Cowgirl because the tomato balances it, but the avocado is the star – not the egg. You can get the cowgirl without an egg.

When it comes to balancing flavours:

I think tomatoes follow the same path as the fatty additions – they become the story. While they add a nice acid, they are also juicy and slide around, making the sandwich difficult to eat. Good tomatoes are hard to get year-round, and now it’s basically a BLT. (Sorry Christina.)
Herbs – chives are popular. I think they can work with bacon but compete with sausage’s herbiness (sage, fennel, thyme, paprika). Your herbiness might vary.
Gold Standard added two bread and butter pickles, which I found to be very surprising but delightful – a bit of sweetness and acidity. I would not go dill pickle, they will dominate the sandwich.
Gold Standard also added a bit of a vinegar hot sauce, which I enjoyed.
Bon Appétit suggests adding hot honey, which I tried, but I find the honey gets a bit lost, it’s sticky on the hands, and the chilli flake heat is a bit stale compared to the bright punch of vinegar hot sauce. If you want honey flavour, use the honey in the sausage instead.

For me, it’s a vinegar hot sauce and pickles. You may disagree, but I want you to try it once before you do.

Layering

The optimal layering for me is as follows:

Toasted, English muffin half
Pickles
Sausage
Cheese
Hot sauce
Egg
Cheese
Toasted, English muffin half

This helps the cheese act like a binder, keeping the soft scrambled eggs together. The hot sauce creates little pockets of spice in the eggs, so each bite is a slightly different adventure. The eggs are at the bottom so if they squash out they compress instead of cascading down the side of the sandwich.

I don’t think the English muffin needs to be buttered, there’s enough fattiness already.

# Marko’s breakfast sandwich

Sure, you can ignore everything about this recipe and just make a breakfast sandwich the way you like it. Throw on pickles and hot sauce and call it a day. Use a bagel for all I care. But I think you should try making it this way just once and you will be so happy that you do.

The “harder” components here – English muffins and breakfast sausage – are actually very easy. They can be made ahead of time and frozen individually. They reheat/cook in minutes, so you can go from freezer to breakfast sandwich in 10 minutes: faster than waiting at McDonalds.

English muffins

Grocery store English muffins are dense, dry, sad, and crumbly. They’re generally stale because they are filled with preservatives and dough conditioners. I make my own. You can make your own. They’re very easy and they freeze really well.

This recipe makes 16 English muffins. Please use a scale.

Ingredients

400g | 1-3/4 cups milk, warm (30°–40°c | 86°–104°F)
45g | 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
5g | 1-1/2 teaspoons salt
25g | 2 tablespoons sugar
50g | 1 large egg, lightly beaten
540g | 4 1/2 cups all purpose flour
5g | 2 teaspoons active dry yeast
1/2 cup semolina flour (for dusting)

Method

You can make this by hand or in a mixer, but it’s a very soft/sticky dough, so it’s a lot easier in a mixer.

Proof the yeast: Heat up the milk until it is around body temperature – warm, not hot – and add the yeast. Stir and set aside. While you can add the yeast directly to the dry mix, it will distribute more evenly and activate more quickly if it’s allowed to dissolve in the milk first.

In a mixer: Using the paddle attachment (not the dough hook), add everything except the semolina and mix on medium speed for 5 minutes until a stretchy, soft, tacky-but-not-sticky dough forms. Shape into a rough ball and cover the bowl.

By hand: Add everything except the semolina into a bowl. Mix until a rough dough forms, transfer to the counter, and knead for 7–10 minutes until the dough soft, stretchy, and tacky-but-not-sticky. It will be very sticky at first and transform through kneading. Avoid adding more flour and use your bench scraper for leverage. Transfer to a clean bowl and cover.

First proof: Allow to sit, covered, for 1–2 at room temperature until doubled in size.

Divide and second proof:

Cut a sheet of parchment paper into 16 @ 4” squares. Add the semolina flour to a small bowl and set aside.

Divide the dough into 16 pieces, around 65g | 1/4 cup each. Shape each piece into a tight ball by pinching the sides towards the bottom. Toss each ball into the semolina flour, then use your hands (or the flat bottom of a glass) to squish each ball into a 3-1/2” wide circle. You’ll have a better finished muffin if you push/flatten vs pull/stretch. Place each flattened circle on a 4” parchment square, then place on a baking sheet or on the counter (you might need 2 baking sheets). Once complete, cover the English muffins with another inverted baking sheet or a piece of parchment paper.

Proof for another 20 minutes: They will rise only slightly, getting “puffy” but not growing very tall.

Cook in a skillet or on a griddle: You can use any pan or skillet. I used two pans, and cooked these in two batches (4 per pan). Place the skillet on medium-low heat, add the English muffin to the pan, sliding it off the parchment paper. Cook for 7–10 minutes, then flip, and cook for another 7–10 minutes (15–20 minutes total).

You’re looking for a golden brown exterior, spongy texture, and if you have a digital thermometer an internal temperature of 200°F. I found it helpful to spin the English muffins 180 degrees after 3 minutes to even out the browning.

Allow to cool, separate with a fork: Allow to cool fully before separating (if you separate them immediately the texture will become very gummy). To separate, insert the tines of a fork into the English muffin side, going all the way around the outside. Then go back around and pry up with the fork. Using a fork helps ensure all the nooks and crannies stay in place. If you slice with a knife you’ll get a smoother, bread-like texture.

Freeze: You can freeze the separated English muffins and go from freezer-to-toaster (or frying pan, or broiler). Make sure you separate them before freezing, or else you will have to thaw, then separate, then toast, and that’s just too much work.

Soft scrambled eggs

In A Super Upsetting Cookbook About Sandwiches (highly recommended if only for the arguments he has with his editor in the footnotes, but the recipes are great too), Tyler Kord introduces a technique to make the best eggs for a sandwich, but putting them in a blender first.

Blending eggs breaks the proteins in the whites and yolks thoroughly, so as the eggs cook the proteins recombine into a network that holds water, instead of allowing it to evaporate.

Constant stirring also ensures the proteins form a mesh network instead of a lattice. Low heat keeps the flavour closer to custard than the cooked egg taste of McDonalds or an American omelette.

It’s a bit of extra work, but you’re going to have to wash a bowl and fork, so you might as well wash your immersion blender (or magic bullet, or vitamix). If you hate the idea on principle, I challenge you to try it just once.

You will think there is cream in your eggs, but there is not.

Ingredients

4 Eggs
1 tsp butter
Pinch of salt

Method

Add your eggs and a pinch of salt into a cup, put your immersion blender into the cup, and blend until very smooth. For a larger batch do this in a blender.

Alternatively, beat very well with a fork.

Heat a small frying pan on medium-low heat. Add the butter, once it melts add the eggs, stirring very often (almost constantly) to encourage small curds to form. Remove from the heat once no more liquid is visible.

This is the best recipe for scrambled eggs in the world.

## Breakfast Sausage

Make these ahead of time (make a double or triple batch) and keep them in the freezer. Because they are so thin they will cook up in 8–10 minutes from frozen, so you are always minutes away from a delicious breakfast sandwich. I just made a triple batch (24!) to keep in the freezer. It was super fast and easy!

Don’t skip the nutmeg – it might seem odd, but it really rounds out the flavour with some warmth. If you don’t have nutmeg you could use allspice or cloves, but cloves are very strong and you just need a tiny pinch.

Ingredients

500g | 1lb ground pork
1-1/2 tsp dried sage
1-1/2 tsp dried thyme
1-1/2 tsp fennel seeds
1-1/2 tsp salt
5 peppercorns
2 tsp cane sugar (or honey, or maple)
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
1/4 tsp smoked paprika
1/8 tsp ground nutmeg (grate from whole on a microplane!)

Method

Line a 1/4 baking sheet with a piece of parchment paper. If doubling/tripling the recipe, have additional parchment ready.

Add the sage, thyme, fennel seeds, peppercorns, and salt into a pestle and mortar, or to a spice grinder, and turn it into a powder. Add the sugar, garlic powder, red pepper flakes, smoked paprika, and nutmeg, and stir to combine.

In a medium bowl, add the pork and spices. Use your hands to mix to combine, mixing very well – at least 30 seconds – to ensure the spices are evenly distributed. Mix this well, which will help the fat bind the meat better (instead of crumbling). This will help when you form the sausage patties.

Divide into 8 equal portions (1/4c | 63g each), roll into balls, then squish into a 3.5”–4” patty (they will shrink and thicken as they cook), 1/8–1/4” thick, and place on the parchment lined baking sheet. If you are making a lot, add a sheet of parchment between each layer of patties.

To cook immediately

Heat a skillet or griddle on medium-high heat. Once hot, add the sausage patties and cook 4 minutes per side until caramelized on the outside and cooked through the centre.

To freeze for later

Place the baking sheet in the freezer and freeze until solid, around 1 hour. Cut the parchment paper around each patty, then stack in a freezer-safe container (using the parchment to keep them separated, otherwise they will all stick together).

Follow the cooking directions above, cooking directly from frozen. Since they are so thin they will cook very quickly, but may need an additional minute or two.

Cold Oven Bacon

If you are making bacon instead, the best way to make bacon is in a cold oven. There is no mess, no splattering, no work. You have a lot of control over how the bacon finishes. It’s easy.

Ingredients

Bacon

Method

Layer your bacon, overlapping slightly (this helps slow down the bacon contracting as it loses water), in a 13x9 baking pan – such as a lasagna pan.

Place the bacon in the middle of a cold, turned off oven. Set the temperature to 425. Set a timer for 20 minutes.

Generally by the time the oven preheats, or shortly after, the bacon is ready.

Transfer the bacon to paper towel or a clean kitchen towel, and separate the pieces while they are still warm (they will adhere together otherwise). Pour the bacon fat into a heat-proof glass container and then store in the fridge to use later.

## Breakfast Sandwich

Makes one sandwich, but you should make, like… at least two.

Ingredients:

1 English muffin
2 Eggs
1 tsp butter
1 breakfast sausage patty (or 2 slices of bacon)
2 slices of American cheese
3–4 thinly sliced bread & butter pickles
Vinegar hot sauce (to taste)

Notes: you could easily replace the pickles and hot sauce with kimchi for a similar sweet/sour/hot punch that would be delicious.

Method:

Cook the sausage and toast the muffin: Set one skillet on medium-high heat. When hot, add your breakfast sausage and cook for 4 minutes on one side. Flip, then add your English muffins (nooks-and-crannies side down) to the same pan to get crispy. Remove both after another 4 minutes (when the sausage is cooked through and the English muffin is toasted).

At the same time, make the eggs: Set a small skillet over medium-low heat with 1 tsp of butter. Add your eggs to a cup and blend with an immersion blender (or beat very well with a fork). Pour the beat eggs into the pan once the butter has melted. Stir constantly with a flexible spatula, ensuring a small curd forms. Once there is no more liquid visible, form into a 3.5” wide shape, and cook for another 15–30 seconds to firm up the eggs.

Add hot sauce to taste, then set a piece of cheese on top of the eggs.

Assemble: Set a piece of cheese on the bottom English muffin. Transfer your eggs and set on the cheese. The eggs should have cheese above and below them. Add the sausage on top, then pickles, then the remaining English muffin half.

Wrap: The pro-move is to wrap the breakfast sandwich in parchment paper or wax paper, then optionally slice it in half with a serrated/bread knife. Wrapping it will help use any residual heat to melt the remaining unmelted cheese and squish the sandwich down. It’s a much better eating experience and helps keep everything contained.

Serve immediately.

Recipes for summer vacation

Sun, 23 Jul 2023 12:00:00 +0000

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Hot Garlic Summer

I’m on vacation this week! I’m finally seeing my American friends I haven’t seen in (eighty) FOUR YEARS!

I stopped in Toronto and went for the best breakfast sandwich at Gold Standard! Then I went Disneyland! Next I’m going to Arsicault for San Francisco’s best croissant! I get to try the actual real Bitchin’ Sauce! And then I’m going to the newly opened Kiln for a 20 course tasting menu!

It’s going to be great.

But that means I don’t have time to write you a story. Instead, to celebrate how amazing summer produce can be, you get TWELVE really good recipes for what’s in season right now. Why is it easier for me to write twelve recipes instead of a personal narrative? I don’t know. But it is.

So pick your favourite recipe, go to the farmer’s market, and embrace Hot Garlic Summer. You can get literally everything right now.

All these recipes are below:

Jin Sol’s Candied Garlic Scapes
Fennel and Orange Salad
Fennel Frond Pesto
Any Green Frittata with Crispy Garlic and Cheese
Zucchini, Lemon, and Ricotta Pizza
S-S-Summertime, Summertime Salads feat. Lemon, Garlic, and Herb Croutons
Sunset Salad Dressing
Charred Bok Choy with Bitchin’ Sauce
Peach Caprese Salad
Herby Bruschetta
Any Green Mac and Cheese
Chickpea Pasta with Feta and Dill

I’d love to hear what you’re making with all this great summer produce, or what you have too much of that you don’t know what to eat. Leave a comment and give me some ideas for what to cook when I’m back and have even more vegetables to eat.

Recipes

Jin Sol’s Candied Garlic Scapes

You might still be able to get garlic scapes this week, but save this one for next year if you can’t. A bunch of my friends are all getting the same CSA, so we get to share what we did with our produce each week. My friend Jin Sol Kim, founder of Vital Little Plans candles, told me about candied garlic scapes. They sound wild – a sweet-salty-garlic treat? Sign me up.

They taste amazing.

Her recipe was simple, “Cut them, cook them in oil, add soy sauce and sugar.” Jin Sol sent this “recipe” to a dozen people, who then bombarded her with questions, like – what size do you cut do them? How much soy sauce? How long does it cook?

So I made the recipe a few times to translate her chaos into something you can repeat at home – and repeat it you will, because candied garlic scapes are delicious.

Ingredients:

10 garlic scapes, cut into 1” pieces
1 tbsp water
1 tbsp toasted sesame oil
2 tbsp light soy sauce
1 tbsp cane sugar
1 tbsp sesame seeds

Method:

Cut the garlic scapes into 1” long pieces.

Place a medium saucepan on medium heat and add the cut garlic scapes and water. Cover with a lid and cook for 10 minutes until the garlic scapes are softened.

Add the sesame oil, soy sauce, and cane sugar. Stir to coat. Cook for 3–5 minutes until the soy sauce is thickened and the sugar is beginning to caramelize.

Add the sesame seeds and cook for another 30–60 seconds until the sesame seeds begin to take on some colour.

Serving

Eat warm as a side dish. Make a rice bowl with candied scapes and a fried egg. Allow to cool and use as a topper for salads. Eat it straight from the bowl as a TV snack. This recipe is addictive. You’re going to be very sad garlic scape season is over.

Fennel and Orange Salad

This is a sample salad that looks very fancy but takes five minutes to make. Impress your friends, or yourself. The citrus and herbs are a great contrast to the crunchy fennel. It’s bright and fun like summer should be. I ate the whole thing by myself for dinner.

Ingredients:

1 fennel bulb
1 orange, zest and flesh
10 sprigs of parsley or mint
1 lemon, juiced
2 tbsp olive oil
Salt and pepper

Method:

Thinly slice the fennel bulb (save the fronds to make pesto). Break up the pieces and place in a bowl.

Zest the orange into the bowl, then peel it and break up the orange slices into the bowl.

Finely chop the parsley. Add the olive oil, lemon juice, 1 tsp of salt, and pepper to taste.

Toss everything together and serve.

Fennel Frond Pesto

I made vegan fennel frond pesto with my fennel from Lucky Bug last week. It's a really easy recipe if you have a food processor or a blender.

Fennel fronds taste lightly licorice-y, gentler than the fennel bulb, with a green vegetable taste. It's very fresh and light and goes with almost anything.

Ingredients:

75g | 1/2 cup toasted walnuts
75-100g (1 fennel) fennel fronds, stems optional
120ml | 1/2 cup olive oil
2–3 cloves of garlic, peeled
3 tbsp lemon juice (1 lemon)
2 tbsp nutritional yeast
1 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh ground black pepper

The nutritional yeast has a strong cheesy flavour that's a great vegan replacement for Parmesan in a recipe like pesto. You can leave it out. You can use grated Parm. Follow your heart.

Method:

Add everything to the food processor (or blender) and run for 1–2 minutes, until very smooth.

Keep in the fridge for up to 5 days.

How to use it: You can use this as a pasta sauce or pizza sauce base, as you would a basil pesto. It's a great dip with sourdough crackers. I turned mine into a salad dressing by thinning it out with more lemon juice (for a salad dressing you want the extra lemon juice). This was really tasty and perfect with the beautiful lettuce greens from Lucky Bug.

For a non-vegan version, check out my carrot top pesto recipe from last summer.

Any Green Frittata with Crispy Garlic

I asked Aliyah, owner and farmer of Lucky Bug, to give me the weird produce. Who wants standard kale when you can have blue chard? It was delightfully tender and tasty and weird.

I have so many greens to use, and I’m still really focused on eating enough protein (it really works, I’ve lost 40lbs). Enter the frittata. You can make a frittata in 20 minutes. You can use any green or herb that you have. You can add one or two bunches in.

It’s low effort. It’s high protein. It’s tasty.

Everybody wins.

The only caveat is you need a really good non-stick pan that can go in the oven, or a well seasoned cast iron or carbon steel skillet. If you don’t have one of these you can start cooking in a stainless steel pan then bake the frittata in a glass pie plate (you can even add a parchment round as an insurance policy).

Ingredients:

1 bunch of greens, such as kale, chard, spinach, or beet greens
2 cloves of garlic, thinly sliced
2 tbsp olive oil
8 eggs
100g cheese, I used Gruyère
Salt
Pepper

Method:

Pre-heat your oven: Pre-heat your oven to 325°F.

Crisp the garlic: Set a non-stick skillet on medium-high heat, add the olive oil, and when hot (oil is shimmering), add the garlic slices and cook for 1 minute until golden. Try not to let it burn like I did (I was taking photos) because it will get very bitter.

Wilt the greens: Add the greens to the pan and cook, stirring often, until wilted and soft.

Whisk the eggs: Beat the eggs together with 1 tsp salt and a generous amount of black pepper. For a silky smooth texture, blend them in a blender.

Transfer to the oven: If you’re using a non-stick pan, add the eggs to the pan, stir, add the cheese, and transfer to the oven for 12–15 minutes. Bake until the centre is just set (barely there jiggle).

If you’re using a glass pie plate, transfer the greens to the bowl with the eggs and cheese, and stir trying to break up any big clumps of greens. It will take slightly longer to bake as the glass plate needs to heat up, so check around 15 minutes but it could take 20.

Try not to overbake as the eggs will become rubbery.

Flip out: Allow to cool for 1–2 mintues, this will help the proteins firm up so you’ll reduce the risk of it breaking in half. Use a silicone spatula to gently release the edges of the frittata. Place a large dinner plate on your pan, then using a towel to hold the very hot pan with one hand, and the bottom of the plate with the other, and flip with the courage of your convictions.

Remove the pan and hopefully you get a clean release for your frittata.

Slice and serve. It’s great with salad. It’s great cold from the fridge in the middle of the night in your snacking cape.

## Zucchini & Lemon Pizza

I am a huge fan of pizza, I think pizza is one my one true love. My second love is using local, seasonal produce to drive the type of cooking that I make.

My favourite pizza to make in the Summer uses one of the most bountiful produce items: zucchini. This pizza has thin, slices of zucchini, slices of lemon, tender home made ricotta, thyme, and a garlicky tomato sauce.

I made this with sourdough crust in my Gozney Dome pizza oven (not sponsored) but you can make this with any crust in any oven by following this guide.

Ingredients:

255g pizza dough (makes a 12" pizza, my recipe)
1/4 cup of your favourite pizza sauce (my recipe)
1/4 cup ricotta (make your own, recipe on my YouTube channel – it's easy!)
1 zucchini, thinly sliced
1 lemon, thinly sliced
1 tbsp thyme
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper

Method:

Wash your zucchini well since the peel is staying on. Thinly slice your zucchini. In a medium bowl, add your sliced zucchini, salt, pepper, olive oil, and thyme. Set aside for at least 10 minutes. The salt will pull a lot of water out of the zucchini.

Slice your lemon very thinly, as thin as humanly possible. Pop out any seeds that remain.

Shape your pizza, add the tomato sauce, then your thinly sliced lemons, then zucchini (leaving any extra water behind in the bowl), then add drops of ricotta

Bake however your pizza oven wants you to bake it. Drizzle with fresh olive oil and/or hot honey before serving.

Summertime Salads (feat. Lemon, Garlic, and Herb Croutons)

Crisp me hard before you go

Summertime salads

I just wanted you to know

That baby, you lettuce

*These are very large croutons because I was multi-tasking and not thinking, I would suggest making your croutons smaller. But also they were delicious, so does it matter? It does not.*

I like to eat a salad on my porch every night through the summer. The greens are crisp, full of flavour, and delightful. It’s light and refreshing against the oppressive heat. And I get to watch the sunset.

For me, the key to a good salad is a sharp dressing, lots of herbs (Parsley! Dill! Mint!), and something crunchy (Sunflower seeds! Walnuts! Croutons! Savoury granola!). My favourite way to add crunch is to make garlic and lemon croutons. They're really easy to make and a great way to use up extra bread.

Lemon, Garlic, and Herb Croutons

Ingredients:

1/2 loaf sourdough bread or pan di mie
Zest of 1 lemon
1 garlic clove, grated
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp of chopped herbs, whatever came in your CSA – I used savoury here, but thyme, parsley, dill, rosemary, chives, or sage would all work

Method:

Normally I would bake these at 475°F for 7-10 minutes until golden brown and crispy, but it's summertime, and no one wants the oven on for that long. A shortcut is to use your broiler. So alternatively, you can set a rack on the top shelf of your oven and turn on the broiler.

Cut your bread into 1" cubes, or tear it, it all depends on what effort you want to put in.

In a small bowl, add 2 tbsp olive oil, zest of 1 lemon, 1 clove grated garlic, and your herbs. You want to mix this before adding to the bread so you get an even distribution of the garlic.

Pour olive oil mix onto bread and toss to coat.

Bake until golden brown. Allow to cool before adding to salad.

These don't store very well, as they'll absorb humidity in your house. If you have leftovers, re-heat them in the oven again until crisp.

Sunset Salad Dressing

When you make this salad dressing it looks like a sunset, in the way the colours stack together before it gets shaken together and turns yellow. It’s a simple, bright salad dressing. You probably have everything you need for it.

Ingredients:

6 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp chive blossom vinegar or red wine vinegar
1 tsp mustard
1 tsp maple syrup (or honey or sugar)
1 garlic clove, thinly sliced (grated/pressed for a stronger bite)
1 tsp salt
Black pepper to taste

Method:

Put everything into a jar with a lid and shake it like a Polaroid picture.

Store in the fridge for up to a week. Don’t store raw garlic in oil at room temperature.

## Charred Bok Choy with Bitchin’ Sauce

Bok choy can be the star of its own dish if you treat it right. I seared one side really hard on high heat in sesame oil, until it was dark and crisp – it gets very sweet when charred. I added some black sesame seeds before taking it off the heat. It's topped with chopped green onion and the vegan Bitchin' Sauce dupe recipe from The Faux Martha.

I haven’t had the real Bitchin’ Sauce to compare, but my friend Janice promises I will get to try it this week while I’m in San Francisco. She likes the flavour with charred peppers and pumpkin seeds, so stay tuned for my attempt to re-create it.

Ingredients:

2 medium bok choy
2 tbsp olive oil
1 clove garlic, thinly sliced
1 tbsp sesame seeds (I used black sesame)
Bitchin’ Sauce (or any sauce you like)
1 green onion, thinly sliced

Method:

Prep your bok choy: Bok choy can hold onto a lot of dirt. I cut the hard stem off the bottom, then sliced the bok choy in half, lengthwise. Some of the leaves will fall apart. It’s fine, you’re fine. Place into a large bowl of cool, clean water, swish around, and allow the dirt to fall to the bottom.

Dry the bok choy on a kitchen towel. It’s very important it’s dry.

Sear the bok choy: Set a large skillet on medium-high heat. Add the olive oil and heat until you just see a whisp of smoke. You want it very hot.

Place the bok choy cut side down in the pan and leave it. Ignore it. Pretend you got in a fight and it’s in a time-out. After 3–4 minutes it will look wilted and the side touching the pan will have some char on it.

Reduce the heat to medium, flip the bok choy, and add the garlic. After 30 seconds add the sesame seeds. Stir, cooking for another minute, until the sesame seeds are toasted and fragrant.

Serve topped with Bitchin’ Sauce and green onions.

Peach Caprese Salad

Peaches and tomatoes are ripe at the same time – and their flavours pair perfectly. This dish is bright, tangy, sweet, creamy, and herby. It comes together in minutes with no cooking, which is perfect for summer. You can make a single plate for lunch or a large platter for a summer BBQ. It’s a great, savoury way to enjoy peach season before its gone.

Watch the video for my pro-tips on how to slice peaches (spoiler: slice around the equator first, then twist apart like an Oreo.)

Ingredients:

500g stone fruit, such as peaches, plums, apricots, nectarines, or cherries, cut into 1/4” thick slices
500g tomatoes, cut into 1/4” thick slices
250g fresh cheese, such as fresh mozzarella or bocconcini (sliced), burrata or ricotta (in bite size dollops)
25g basil, mint, or parsley, cut into ribbons
45ml olive oil (3 tbsp)
15ml balsamic vinegar (1 tbsp)

Method:

Slice the peaches: For peaches, using a paring knife, slice around the equator of the peach, then twist in half like an Oreo to separate the two halves from the pit. For the half with the pit, follow the natural line in the peach to slice in half again. Twist again, then remove the peach pit. Slice into 1/4” thick slices. See YouTube video for demonstration.

For smaller stone fruit, like cherries and plums, cut in half and remove the pit

Slice the tomatoes: For medium and large tomatoes, use a serrated knife to slice into 1/4” thick slices. For cherry tomatoes, use a serrated knife to cut in half.

Assemble the salad:

Use as 12” plate for serving platter for assembly, or assembly on individual plates.

Reserve a few very nice tomatoes and peaches for the final presentation
Using half your tomatoes, create an even layer on your serving dish
Using half your peaches, create an even layer on top of the tomatoes
Using half your burrata, add dollops of cheese between the tomatoes and peaches
Sprinkle with salt
Sprinkle with basil
Repeat for a second layer
Top with olive oil and balsamic
Add a few very nice tomatoes and peaches on top

Herby Bruschetta

Tomatoes and garlic are about to show up everywhere and take over your life, your heart, and your Instagram feed. Please participate in Hot Tomato Summer with this recipe I published last year for herby bruschetta.

It’s bright, it’s fun, it’s easy. Please watch my YouTube video to learn how to slice tomatoes without cutting off your hands (spoiler: use a bread knife).

Ingredients:

1 baguette, ciabatta, or half a loaf of sourdough
1kg tomatoes, I prefer heirlooms, but this works with any kind of tomato
1-3 cloves of garlic, look for low heat heirloom varieties like Music garlic
50g fresh tender herbs, weighed with stems on, such as basil, mint, parsley, thyme, oregano, or tarragon (1/2 cup after chopping)
60g good olive oil (4 tbsp) for tomato mix and 30g (2 tbsp) for baguette
30g lemon juice or white wine vinegar (1 lemon / 2 tbsp)
5g salt (0.5% of the tomato weight, about 1 teaspoon)
Pepper to taste

Method:

Make the bruschetta

In a medium bowl, mix all of the ingredients (except the bread):

Cut the tomatoes in 1/4” pieces, if your tomatoes are very watery inside you can either remove the insides or allow the juice to strain before proceeding
Grate the garlic with a microplane or finely chop it; if you’re using a microplane you don’t even need to peel it
Finely chop the herbs, you want the pieces smaller than the tomatoes
Add the olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and pepper to taste

Taste and adjust seasoning

Bland or bitter: more lemon or salt
Sour: more olive oil
Salty: more olive oil or a pinch of sugar
Heat: more lemon or let it sit

Allow this to sit at room temperature for up to 3 hours. Please don’t put tomatoes in the fridge, it changes the texture.

Turn the baguette into crostini

Cut the baguette into 3” long segments

Cut each segment lengthwise in half, like you are making a sandwich

If you plan to make the bruschetta in advance, such as taking it to a BBQ, I would recommend following the instructions for olive oil toast – the bread will stay crispy while in storage or after sitting in the bruschetta juices

Alternatively, pre-heat your oven to 475°F. Place the baguette pieces cut side up on a baking sheet, drizzle with olive oil, and bake for 5 minutes or until the pieces are toasted with a bit of char at the edges.

Assemble

Place the crostini on your serving platter.

Add around 2 spoons of bruschetta mix onto each piece, it really depends on the size of your bread.

Notes:

If you don’t like the heat from raw garlic you can briefly cook it in the olive oil to reduce the bite.

If you like the heat and want more of it, you can add in a finely diced shallot to add heat without overpowering the dish with garlic flavour.

The olive oil is almost 10% of the recipe by weight, so if you are saving a good olive oil, this is a great application of it.

Any Green Mac and Cheese

*I promise there are green vegetables in here, they’re just buried underneath a creamy, cheesy surface. This is a great way to trick children into eating vegetables. If they pick them out, blend the vegetables to make a green cheese sauce!*

With my Invisalign* (*Spark Aligners), I have to change to a new tray every week – the equivalent of having your braces tightened. Each new tray moves your teeth slightly more. It doesn’t hurt, per se, it feels like a bit of pressure when you put the new tray in.

I describe it as a bunch of tiny elves pulling on your teeth, screaming the whole time.

The problem is that I don’t know how to eat on Tuesdays.

I change my trays on Monday night, and on Tuesday I can’t eat anything that requires any force. Steamed broccoli is too much pressure for my sensitive little teeth, so I’m building up my repertoire of soft foods. Jin Sol made me soups, but I ate all of those.

This week I had too many vegetables and no ability to chew them. So I did what any responsible adult would do and I put them into mac and cheese. This is a really great way to use up extra herbs and greens and a way to feel good about eating mac and cheese.

Béchamel

45g | 3 tbsp butter
60g | 1/2 cup flour
6 cups milk (whole milk is ideal)
115g | 4oz parmesan cheese
1/4 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
1 tsp sweet paprika
Salt and pepper

Greens – choose one:

1 head of broccoli or cauliflower

1 bunch of spinach, chard, kale, or beet greens
1 clove of garlic thinly sliced
2 tbsp olive oil

1 cup of frozen peas or edamame

AND/OR

1 bunch of tender herbs, like garlic chives
1 clove of garlic, thinly sliced

Cheese sauce & assembly

Béchamel (1,500ml | 6 cups)
600g | 21oz cheese (6 cups grated)
Salt and pepper to taste
Box of shell pasta
Toppings
Grated Parmesan cheese
Black pepper
Breadcrumbs
Thinly sliced green onions

Method:

Make roux

In a 3-quart or larger pot, on medium heat, melt the butter until it foams. Add in the flour and using a whisk mix it together. Cook for 2-3 minutes, whisking constantly, until it smells nutty.

Add the milk slowly:

Add in the milk in batches. If you add all of the milk it will be lumpy and difficult to work with. Start with 2–3 tablespoons of milk. Instantly you’ll see it become a very thick paste. Keep adding a few tablespoons of milk at a time and whisking until incorporated before adding more milk. It will take adding at least 2 cups of milk this way to get a thin enough consistency, then you can add the rest all at once.

Increase heat to medium-high, whisking constantly. You may want to use a spatula to scrape the bottom/sides. Be careful that the milk doesn’t scald to the bottom of the pot, if it does do not scrape it. You must cook this until you see bubbles, that indicates the mixture has reached 212°F and the flour will be cooked. If you don’t get to bubbles it will taste starchy.

Remove from the heat, add the nutmeg, paprika, and cheese. Taste, then add salt and pepper to taste.

Choose your green adventure:

Broccoli or cauliflower: Break into bit-sized florets, then steam or boil until tender. Drain and add to the cheese sauce.
Spinach, kale, chard, or beet greens: Tear into bite sized pieces. Heat a pan on medium-high heat. Add 2tbsp olive oil or butter. Add 1 clove of garlic, sliced, and cook until lightly golden – around 1 minute. Add the greens and cook for 1–2 minutes more until wilted. Add to the cheese sauce.
Peas and edamame: I always have peas or edamame in my freezer, they’re very high protein and great in any pasta. Boil for 1 minute until warm, then drain and add to the cheese sauce.
Herbs: Chop a bunch of parsley or dill, use the leaves from savoury or thyme, fry sage in brown butter and crumble it in, or cut a bunch of garlic chives in with scissors.

Keep the cheese sauce warm on the stove.

Boil your pasta: Use a large pot to boil the pasta in heavily salted water (1/4 cup!). Follow the cook time on the box. When the pasta is al dente, drain it and then add both the pasta and cheese sauce into the larger pot. Fold to combine.

Serve: Ladle into bowls and top with some fresh grated parmesan and black pepper.

Chickpea Pasta with Feta & Dill

Last week, to use up my Lucky Bug CSA kale, I made this variation of my Fresh out of Fucks Pasta with garlic, kale, feta, dill, and crispy chickpeas.

You can make this with any green that wilts – like spinach, kale, chard, or beet greens. If you don’t like dill, use parsley. If you don’t like feta, use burrata. Recipes are ideas, so take what you like and ignore the rest.

This was extremely delicious and I’m still thinking about it.

Ingredients:

Crispy Chickpeas

1 can of chickpeas
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tsp sweet paprika (hot or smoked paprika work great too)
1 tbsp garlic powder (not garlic salt! not fresh garlic! (it will burn!))
1 tsp salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Optional chili flakes for heat

Pasta

1 bunch of kale, stems removed, ripped into bite size pieces
2 cloves of garlic, thinly sliced
2 tbsp olive oil
100g feta cheese, crumbled
50g dill, finely chopped
300g dried pasta
Salt
Pepper
Freshly squeezed lemon juice (optional)

Method:

Make the crispy chickpeas. Pre-heat your oven to 425°F. Drain the chickpeas and add them to a medium bowl. Add the olive oil, paprika, garlic powder, salt, and freshly ground black pepper. Use a spoon to toss everything to combine and pour onto a baking sheet. Bake for 25–30 minutes until browned and crispy. Shake the baking sheet halfway through.

Bring a pot of heavily salted water to a boil and start cooking your pasta per the directions on the box. Reserve 1/2 cup of pasta water.

Heat a 10" or 12" frying pan over medium heat. Add the olive oil, then add the garlic, cooking for 2 minutes, stirring often, until golden. Add the kale and cook until wilted, 1–2 minutes. Add half the feta and stir until melted and combined into the greens. Add half the chickpeas and stir to combine.

Add the pasta to the greens and chickpeas. Add the pasta water to help thin and emulsify the sauce. Add the dill and remove from the heat.

Serve topped with the remaining crispy chickpeas and crumbled feta.

What are you making with your CSA? Leave a note in the comments. And if you liked the post, put a heart on it.

If you liked it then you should’ve put a heart on it…

Oh Oh Oh… Oh Oh Oh Oh…

An Honest Guide to Dog Sitting

Sun, 16 Jul 2023 12:00:00 +0000

I highly recommend listening to the audio version of the article this week.

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I like dog sitting for my friends. I try to have a dog here every month. I get to hang out with my dog friends, support my human friends when they travel – and enjoy freedom and flexibility of not having my own dog. Everybody wins.

*This is Fionn, he is the goodest of good boys.*

Some dogs, like Fionn, are a treat. Fionn wakes up when I wake up. Fionn walks where I walk, for however long I walk. Once I figured out that Fionn preferred eating off a silicone mat we had no issues with food. He’s just so chill.

Penny, on the other hand, is a terrorist.

You may remember Penny, my friend Larysa’s dog, from my very traumatic panettone making experience last Christmas. I was supposed to watch Penny again this week – but it worked out that our mutual friend Marci is in town from Calgary and took over dog sitting duties.

Larysa shared she was putting together a Google Doc on how to take care of Penny. Let the record reflect that I did not get a Google Doc any of the times I’ve had Penny.

“How honest are you going to be with Marci?” I asked

“I am going to stick to the facts, Marko.” Larysa replied.

“This means I need to write Marci an honest guide, doesn’t it?”

*Penny Wood, in “her” (my) bed.*

How to take care of Penny Wood

An honest guide to your faithless companion

Penny Wood is a 3 year old miniature goldendoodle. If she was a Golden Girl she would be Sofia.

When you first meet Penny, she will greet you with joy and enthusiasm to establish a false sense of security. This is misplaced. She will perform cooperation in front of Larysa and Dave. She will make you believe she wants belly rubs and treats. Her family will leave with the full faith of her cooperation.

This is done to gain your trust and lower your guard.

This is a lie.

The Morning

Penny likes to wake you up at 6:30am by licking your face and jingling her collar. She will need to be let out.

When you try to feed her her normal food she will rebel. This is the beginning of her hunger strike, see “feeding Penny” below. After she turns her nose up at her food you may attempt to take her for a 30–45 minute walk. See “walking Penny” below.

Depending on the number of days you’ve spent with Penny, she will either poop relatively soon into her walk. Or after 45 minutes. Or not at all until she sees home, at which point she will turn you around so she may poop. It’s most likely that Penny will wait until your shoes are off. She will wait until you collapse, exasperated, onto the couch. And then she will ask to go out 5 minutes after returning home.

On your first day you should expect her to hold it in. She is shy around new humans and would prefer to be constipated.

*Penny watchingThe Lord of the Rings.*

The Afternoon

Penny is very smart and will need to be entertained.

If she is feeling cooperative, Penny will like a long walk on a trail. Most likely Penny will want to sit with you on the couch and watch movies.

Penny specifically likes movies and TV shows with horses and horse like creatures, such as:

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (extended editions)
The Harry Potter series (she likes the centaurs)
Seabiscuit
Mulan (both live action and animated)
Tangled
Any Indiana Jones Movie, except the fourth one

I encourage you to explore movies with horses so we can further expand the list of entertainment options.

For a non-horse option, The Sound of Music is a thrilling watch if only for the entertainment of How do you solve a problem like Maria? The further into your journey with Penny the funnier it will be.

Unpredictable as weather

She's as flighty as a feather

She's a darling! She's a demon! She's a lamb!

What doesn’t kill you makes you funny.

The Evening

Penny will nap on the couch until her evening walk, which will range from 5 to 60 minutes depending on how she feels like cooperating. See “Walking Penny” below.

She is likely to poop on her evening walk, but she is also likely not to poop. She’s likely to walk five steps and stop. She’s likely to have a jaunty prance around the neighbourhood.

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

## Bedtime

Penny will insist on sleeping in your bed with you. Penny will sleep directly in the middle of the bed. She will not move, steadfast in her position at the centre of the universe and the centre of the duvet. Do not mistake her size for lack of force. If you do not beat Penny to the duvet, it is her duvet now. You must enjoy the corner of the blanket she allows you to have.

Upon the completion of her hunger strike, around 2:30am, she will lick your face to be taken downstairs to eat her food she has ignored for the whole day.

Shortly after you take her downstairs for her midnight snack, and just as you re-enter a REM cycle, her AirTag will begin to beep. “An unknown AirTag is traveling with you.” You should consider removing her collar and placing it in another room before bed.

## Feeding Penny

Allegedly, Penny is to eat her dry food both morning and evening.

On your first day you can expect Penny to put up a hunger strike. She will want your food. She will want special food. Do not give in to her demands.

You may be tempted to sprinkle crumbled liver treats on her food. This is a trap.

Should you be a fool and make Penny buckwheat and white cheddar crackers as a treat (recipe below), she will come to expect gourmet food at every meal. Penny has exquisite taste, and she does not like eating leftovers. She does not like eating the same food at every meal.

Should you try to bribe her with peanut butter it may work for one meal, perhaps two, but not three. You may then try roasted pumpkin, which will succeed in giving you hope, only to crush your hopes and dreams when she refuses it the next day. Unless you plan to grate carrots on Monday, roast apples on Tuesday, and find a similar collection of dog safe dry food supplementation that will keep her entertained for two weeks, you will fail.

She will take your sleep from you. She will take your spirit from you. And then she will eat your panettone with chocolate and you will have to call the emergency vet.

Instead: allow Penny to complete the hunger strike and ensure she only eats her food.

And by no means should you trust Penny with food left on the counter. You think you can take a shower faster than she can eat a loaf of bread two Pennys in size?

She accepts your challenge.

## Walking Penny

Penny has opinions about how, where, when, and why she should walk. Allegedly, this has been improved through a rigorous training programme.

When Penny does not like a direction you are taking, such as it having an unfamiliar or unpleasant smell, the sun being in her eyes, the sun being behind a cloud, the breeze creating a risk of messing up her curls, or simply because it’s the direction you choose, she will sit down.

While sitting down Penny gains the weight of an elephant. It is an extraordinary power only she possesses. She cannot be moved.

You may be tempted to fill a fanny pack with liver treats and bribe her. She is too smart for this. And she is bored of her treats. She will walk to the treat, eat it, and then sit back down. You may try to bend over and encourage her to walk by moving the treat in front of her, but all this will do is make you the Hunchback of Waterloo.

Penny got the memo, she simply disagrees with it.

After ten minutes of this you will feel exasperated and traumatized. Penny will then decide she is happy to walk and lead the way. What Penny craves above all else is power.

In case of emergencies, blueberries – or bribe-berries as I now call them – make an effective motivator.

## Leaving the house without Penny

You may leave the house without Penny provided that you have put all of your food away. Penny, surprisingly, likes her crate and will happily sleep in there while you are gone.

Penny will use this opportunity to show you that she does not, in fact, need you.

You need her.

This is her house, and yes – you can close the door on your way out.

Recipe

Yes, I cook for the dogs when I’m dog sitting. If you have dogs in your life I recommend making these treats. They will love you forever. Their owners will grow to resent you as their dogs increasingly demand gourmet food.

Buckwheat & Cheddar Crackers for Dogs

I modified this recipe based on the “Cheddar and Parsley Bones for Barney” in Notes From A Small Kitchen Island by Debora Robertson. This is an exceptionally well written and hilarious book you should buy.

I’ve made this recipe many times, for many dogs. I’ve found Debora’s recipe too sticky to roll out, and too fibrous to cut into dog-bone shapes. I realized that the dogs don’t care if they are bone shaped. You care that they are bone shaped. Instagram cares they are bone shaped.

But this is about bringing joy to a dog, and smushing them into circles makes this 10 minutes of effort instead of half a day of frustration. Penny is frustrating you enough. I’ve also revised the recipe volume to get 3 batches from one bag of Bob’s Red Mill Buckwheat Flour, and the shaping method to make circles.

They smell so good you may want to eat them, and they are safe for human consumption, but I haven’t tried them.

These crackers are square because I was still learning how best to make them at the time of recording. But look how happy he is!

Ingredients

210g buckwheat flour
100g parsley, finely chopped
120g | 1 large carrot, finely grated
50g Cheddar cheese, finely grated
45ml | 3 tbsp olive oil or coconut oil
5 tbsp | 75ml hot (just off the boil) water

Method

Before starting: Pre-heat oven to 350. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper or a silicone liner (you must use parchment!).

Mix the dry ingredients: Add the buckwheat flour, parsley, carrot, and cheddar to a medium bowl. Toss everything to combine.

Add the wet ingredients: Add the olive oil and hot water. Stir with a fork until a stiff dough forms.

Form into around 24 balls and smush: The buckwheat will stick to you and everything you touch, so keep your hands lightly wet with clean water to make this part easy.

Divide into 24 balls, 25g | 1 tbsp each.

Place the dough balls onto the parchment paper, 3 inches apart (make a 4x3 grid on each baking sheet). Smush down into a circle with lightly wet hands. You can try using the bottom of a glass but the dough will just stick to the glass.

Bake: Bake for 35–40 minutes until golden brown and crisp, the smell filling the air, and the dog staring at the oven door as if it’s a movie with horses.

Allow to cool fully before giving to a dog.

Store: Store in an airtight container for a week, or in the freezer for 3 months.

If you really want dog bone shapes for Instagram: Place everything into a food processor except the oil and water, and blitz until a fine powder. Add the oil and most of the water, adding more water until you have a stiff dough. Roll out between two parchment sheets until 1/4" thick and use a dog-bone shaped cookie cutter to cut. Re-roll the scraps. Following the baking directions above.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments – do you cook for dogs? What treats do you make? And how do you solve a problem like Maria?

And if you enjoyed this post, please hit the heart button to let me know.

The Cherry Tree

Sun, 09 Jul 2023 12:00:00 +0000

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*I went to my dad’s house last week to pick cherries from our sour cherry tree. This tree was planted in 2013 or 2014 and is not the tree in this story. I couldn’t find any photos of it. My dad took this photo of me and shouted “I’m going to send this to everyone in Serbia!”*

My parents built our childhood home in 1981, back when Kitchener was mostly fields. My mom’s dad planted a sour cherry tree in their backyard when the house was finished. The Cherry Tree was a fixture of my childhood – it grew taller than the house.

As a kid I would climb the cherry tree in a way that would give me a heart attack if I saw my nieces doing the same.

“MARRRRRRRKO!” My mom would shout. They picked names for us that could be shouted from across a farm field, where single letters could be minutes long.

“I’m in the cherry tree!”

“GET FUCKING DOWN FROM DERE! NOW! But pick good cherries on your vay down. No, those too. UP DERE! UP VONE MORE BRANCH! GET DE GOOD CHERRIES BEFORE DE BIRRRRRDS!”

In for a penny, in for a pound of cherries.

“VESSSSNA! GET MARKO ANOTHER ZEHRS BAG!”

You can always tell who grew up in Kitchener because they don’t say grocery bags, they are Zehrs bags. I didn’t know they had another name until I was thirty and I asked someone in Ottawa for a Zehrs bag. They looked at me like I fell out of a tree.

Through the summer I would spend whole days in the cherry tree. If you climbed to the top you could see Mt. Trashmore, which is old garbage dump a few kilometres away. We used to toboggan down the side of it. It’s now called MacLennan Park and it has a splash pad!

Every year it was a race against the birds to get as many cherries as you could. I would eat them from the tree and collect them for my mom to make pita – a Yugoslavian type of strudel, which is sometimes also called burek. But it’s only called burek if it has meat, but that’s only in some parts of the former Yugoslavia, and only some of the time. There are arguments on Reddit. This one food war represents everything good and bad about the Balkans.

My mom called it pita, so that’s what I call it. The recipe is below.

*Pita with sour cherries. Recipe below.*

Pita is made with a type of phyllo dough called kore. My mom used to make it in an illegal basement bakery in their garage and sell it all across Ontario. She had a custom laminating rolling machine made for it. When I was old enough to reach a kitchen counter, I was old enough to help make kore, or “make the dough” as my mom said.

“Can we go to the movies this weekend?”

“I MAKE THE DOUGH!”

“Can I go hang out with my friends?”

“I MAKE THE DOUGH!”

“We have no groceries.”

“I MAKE THE DOUGH!”

My mom par-baked kore so it could be frozen. To do this, two pieces of dough are laminated together with vegetable oil between them, rolled out to paper thin sheets the size of an electric griddle, and baked for 30 seconds per side. We would flip the dough by picking it up off the electric griddle with our bare hands. Once cooked, but not brown, it would puff up filled with steam. You would, with your bare hands, immediately remove it and peel the two layers apart so each piece of kore would be even thinner.

By the time I was a teenager I had no feeling left in my fingertips.

She would package these up, a dozen sheets rolled together and frozen. Each roll sold for $5 in the 90s!

We would go on field trips to deliver it to European grocery stores in Hamilton and Vaughan. In a weekend she would sell 300 rolls. She would trade half for deli meats and cured sausages. The rest of the money she would use to take us to Canada’s Wonderland. We would all stuff in her Oldsmobile, with no air conditioning, in the August heat and trek off to Toronto.

“MARRRRRRRKO! CLOSE THE VINDOW! YOU CAN OPEN IT TWO FINGERRRS! I GET THE DRAFT IN MY NECK! MARKO, YOU ARE KILLING ME, MARKO!”

I had no feeling left in my fingers to adequately measure the force of the wind. But we did get to go to Wonderland, so what did it matter? I was eight.

The year after my mom died, the cherry tree went with her. The tree was 30 years old and had become quite broken. My dad and I decided to plant new trees, which would we keep smaller for easier fruit collection. We put in two apples, a sour cherry, and a black cherry. The apples didn’t take but the cherry trees thrived.

My dad was never into gardening but he loves the fruit trees. Every few weeks through summer I get phone calls.

“Come get cherries.”

“Come get tomatoes.”

“Come get grapes.”

“Come get pears.”

My dad is a man of few words. Putting a sweet cherry beside the sour cherry turned out to be a genius solution to our bird problem. The birds would snack on the black cherries, enjoying their delicious sweetness, and then try a sour cherry.

I imagine the birds shouting “PUH!” like my mom would when she ate something she didn’t like and spat it on the ground. “PUH! PUH! PUH!”

This means we only get a few handfuls of black cherries. I didn’t get any this year, my dad ate them all right off the tree in a race against the birds.

These trees are too small for me to climb, so my dad brings out a garden hoe to pull down the branches for me.

“Get this branch, this has the good ones. No, get these. Get all of them. Do you want the birds to have them?”

I gave up after collecting 23lbs of cherries. I left half on the tree for the birds.

My nieces used to help me harvest the cherries, but Amelie is a teenager now and Emma is an adult. Their priorities are to take moody selfies for Instagram or Snapchat or TikTok or BeReal or who knows what else. I think my mom would have broken Amelie’s phone when she refused to help.

“I’LL SHOW YOU TIKTOK! THREE! TWO! OUTSIDE!”

My mom would have been TikTok famous and/or in jail, like a combination of Rhubarb Lady, George Constanza, and a conspiracy theorist with an Eastern European accent.

All this is to say, cherries feel like a core part of my personal identity. Our pear tree and grapes are similarly fruitful, but pears are my dad’s thing. The cherry tree was always mine.

Cherries are a seasonal fruit, you really can’t get them past cherry season. Sour cherries don’t keep well, so there’s an even shorter season for them.

Last year I bought a cherry pitting machine (see demo video). If you’re a crazy cherry person like me it will be the best $30 you spend all year. I also made a few videos about cherries on YouTube:

One of my biggest regrets about my mom’s death is that I didn’t have her write down her recipes down before she died. She never wrote anything down, or if she did it was in a hybrid of Cyrllic and Latin block type only she could read, in blue pen, in her burgundy notebook.

“Red like the Serbian flag. Vhy do you have a yellow notebook? Do you vant them to think you’re... Romanian?! Vhy do you have checkers on your shirt? Do you vant them to think you’re… Croatian?!”

I’ve only ever lived in Canada, a multicultural nation, so I never understood these comments. The closest I can imagine is if someone thought I was… American.

PUH!

My mom was a terrible cook, but her pita was famous in town. My teachers would ask her to bring it to parent/teacher night. She would make it for weddings and funerals. Her most famous flavour was pita sa sirom, it’s phyllo pastry stuffed with feta cheese. You can also make it in layered form called gibanica which is taller, heartier, and more filling. Gibanica is baked in a large round enamelled baking pan called a tepsia (imagine a 12–15” cake pan). Sometimes she would add spinach (like Greek spanakopita, but better.) Sometimes she made pita with apples, or cherries, but my mom never made the meat-filled burek.

Last summer I spent a few weeks trying to recreate these recipes from memory. I don’t expect you to make kore from scratch, but if you do you should let me know! You can use store-bought Greek-style phyllo dough – but phyllo is drier and flakier, where kore is just as thin but chewy, crispy, moist, and sweet. German-style strudel dough is a bit thicker and doughier. Whichever dough you choose to use it will be delicious.

Recipes

You can find last year’s cherry recipes on my website and on YouTube:

You can also make Marci’s Saturday Scones with sour cherries and orange zest, which I did last week, and then I had to give all the scones away because I wanted to eat them all in one sitting. Use 1 cup of pitted sour cherries and the zest of 1 orange instead of cheddar and chives. They are incredible.

Kore, Yugoslavian phyllo dough

You do not need to make your phyllo dough. You should just buy frozen phyllo dough. But if you are a crazy person, like me, you can make your own kore. It’s fun (for me). It takes up your entire counter to make. You will feel so accomplished. And the taste/texture is incomparable to store-bought phyllo.

Ingredients

500g | 4-1/4 cups flour
250ml | 1 cup water
50ml | 3 tbsp olive oil + more for rolling
10g | 1 tbsp kosher salt

Method

Make the dough: Mix ingredients together in a medium bowl until combined, then transfer to a counter. Knead for around 10 minutes until the dough is soft and smooth. Transfer back to the bowl, cover, and rest for 20 minutes.

Divide and rest: Divide into 12 pieces, 65g / 4 tablespoons each. Round into a ball and allow to rest for 20 minutes.

Smush and rest: Oil your hands, and sprinkle some oil on the dough balls. Smush two dough balls together, creating a 3” wide circle. The dough will begrudgingly stick together. Allow to rest for 20 minutes.

Roll: Roll the dough out to 12x16”. It’s a bit weird, but rolling on an oiled countertop makes it a lot easier (instead of a floured countertop).

To use immediately:

Separate the dough and follow the assembly and baking instructions for pita, gibanica, ham snacks for one, or any other recipe that requires phyllo dough.

If the dough tears as you are separating it, that’s okay – you can patch it back together. In most recipes where phyllo is used it is layered and stacked, so you will be able to patch most holes.

To bake for later:

Place the rolled out dough onto a flat griddle. Bake for 30 seconds, then flip. Bake for another 30 seconds, it should puff up in the middle. Remove from the griddle and immediately separate the two dough pieces.

Stack the dough and once cooled roll up, wrap in plastic, and store in the freezer. Defrost overnight in the fridge before using.

## Pita with sour cherry (pita sa višnjama)

My mom would only use sour cherries and sugar, so leave everything else out if you want to try her recipe. Make both and compare them. Ignore us both, change all the ingredients, and leave a comment on all your swaps like this is the New York Times.

Recipes are only ideas and this is mine.

Ingredients

500g | 1lb frozen phyllo dough, thawed (or 1 recipe kore)
500g | 1lb | 2 cups sour cherries, pitted
200g | 1 cup sugar
3g | 1 tsp salt
5g orange zest (1 orange, optional)
30g orange juice (1 orange, optional)
5g vanilla extract (or one packet of vanilla sugar, optional)
60g | 4 tbsp butter, melted (or grapeseed oil, but butter leads to an airier, flakier texture)

Method

Pre-heat the oven to 350°F.

Make the filling: Place the cherries, sugar, salt, orange zest, orange juice, and vanilla extract in a bowl. Toss to coat and set aside.

Assemble the rolls: Lay out 1 sheet of phyllo dough. Sprinkle with a handful (2 tbsp) of cherries and 1 tsp of melted butter. Add another sheet of phyllo, sprinkle with another handful of cherries. Spread the cherries out, so that each layer fills in the gaps between cherries on each layer. Add another 1 tsp of butter. Repeat for a total of 4 layers of phyllo and 4 layers of cherries.

Roll: If your phyllo dough is 12x16” you want to roll the long side (so you end up with a 16” long roll).

Transfer to a baking sheet and sprinkle the top with granulated sugar. Repeat with the remaining phyllo dough. You can allow the rolls to touch, or if using a tepsia, spiral the rolls.

Repeat for a total of 3 rolls.

Bake: Bake for 45–60 minutes until puffed and golden and crisp on the outside. There may be cherry juice bubbling on the outside.

Serve: Slice into 2” pieces. Serve warm.

Pita with apple (pita sa jabukama)

My mom never made just one pita, she would make six dozen. (All of my friends are saying “oh it all makes sense now.”)

Because of this she would use a 5kg bag of apples. I vividly remember her wringing the apple juice out into a large bowl and then we would all drink the apple juice over the kitchen sink. Apple was made year-round, where cherry was only made in the summer.

Ingredients

500g | 1lb frozen phyllo dough, thawed (or 1 recipe kore)
500g | 1lb of apples, peeled and grated
100g | 1/2 cup of sugar
3g | 1 tbsp cinnamon

Follow the directions listed for pita with cherries.

## Cheese pie (gibanica sa sirom)

“Can you ask your mom to make cheese pie?” was said to me more than any other phrase in my childhood.

This is how my mom would make it. At least, in the way I remember it and filtered by the food I like as an adult.

You can also use this filling to make pita sa sirom (pita with cheese) by following the assembly steps in the pita recipe above. Cheese pie has a dense, fluffy, hearty texture – you can slice it and it will hold its shape. It’s a meal all on its own. Make it as pita will create a lighter, airier texture that’s better as a snack.

It’s great served with an herby salad with a sharp salad dressing.

Ingredients

2lbs of phyllo dough (2x recipe kore)
400g | 1lb of feta cheese, crumbled
400g | 1lb of cottage cheese or ricotta
450g | 9 Eggs
250g butter, melted

For a traditional experience, track down a tepsia – a 12” round enamelled pan with 2” high sides. You can usually buy them at European grocery stores. Otherwise use a 9x13” pan for 2” tall sides, like you would for lasagna.

Method

Pre-heat the oven to 350°F.

Make the filling: Crack all the eggs into a large bowl and beat them with a fork until homogenous. Crumble the feta cheese into the mix. Add the cottage cheese. Mix with a fork until combined but lumpy. Set aside.

Butter the pan: Butter your 13x9” pan (or tepsia).

For your first layer: Place a piece of phyllo dough flat across the bottom of the pan so you have a solid base to lift from. You may need to use 2 or 3 pieces. Try to have some of the phyllo come up the sides of the pan.

Add a few tablespoons of the cheese/egg mixture, distributing it across the pan and leaving gaps between the dollops. Drizzle 2 tbsp of butter across the phyllo.

For your additional layers: You will use 2–3 pieces of phyllo per layer. You want to ruffle the phyllo as you place it, trying not to smush or move the cheese. Try to have the phyllo overlap as it comes up the sides of the pan. Dollop cheese and drizzle butter. Repeat until you have used all of the cheese filling, around 4 or 5 layers.

For your final layer: You want to make an attractive set of ruffles then brush the top with any remaining butter.

Bake: Bake for 1 hour until puffed, bubbling, and golden brown.

Serve: Cool for 10–15 minutes before slicing in the pan. Serve warm. But you will also eat it cold from the fridge in the middle of the night (also great).

Ham and cheese snack

When my mom would make kore, I would often tip-toe down the stairs to the garage and sheepishly ask if she would make me a snack with ham and cheese. She would place a sheet of kore on the griddle, place 1–2 ripped up slices deli ham and 1–2 ripped up Kraft singles on one side, then fold it up into a square and cook it on both sides. You would get a crispy outside, layers of dough and cheese inside. You have to eat it hot, burning your fingers and tongue on lava cheese.

If I was allowed to eat snacks (my Invisalign prevents me from having joy), I would go make one right now.

If your teeth allow you to have snacks and you have extra phyllo dough from the recipes above, I highly recommend you make this. You might as well buy an extra pack of phyllo dough to keep a dozen of these in the freezer for when you’re feeling sad.

I love a good Kraft single – well, I buy Black Diamond slices because they don’t put corn in their cheese – but same same. If you want to use bougie cheese, go ahead, but this is a snack for the child in your heart. Embrace the singles life. And I’m not writing this out as a recipe.

You put ham and cheese in phyllo, you fold it, you cook it. The quantities and level of doneness all exist in your heart. I believe in you!

Invite your friends to read Probably Worth Sharing

Thu, 29 Jun 2023 12:00:00 +0000

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How to take care of yourself

Sun, 25 Jun 2023 12:00:00 +0000

I now schedule my entire life around flossing.

I have to clean my teeth three or four times a day. It takes 14 minutes any time I want to eat. I didn’t expect this to be how I would spend my Summer, or the next year of my life.

But here we are.

Last Monday I got Spark Aligners, which are like Invisalign, but the brand my orthodontist carries. As far as mid-life crisis purchases go, this felt better than buying a convertible or selling my house and moving to Nova Scotia. Fixing my teeth is something I’ve wanted to do for myself for a long time, and in a surprise to no one, it is something I’ve put it off because I am not good at doing things that are for me.

Last week I wrote about how to take care of your people, which is something I’m very good at. This week I am writing about how to take care of yourself – something I’m learning how to be better at.

There are many lies we tell ourselves about our mental health, and the terrible ways social conditioning makes the act of self care seem like woo-woo bullshit for 14 year old girls. But self care is real, it’s important, and someone I care about asked me to share what I’ve learned – so I’m summarizing it here.

Emotional endurance

On a recent Peloton ride, Christine D’Ercole said “we are training for physical endurance, but we are also training for emotional endurance. As you drop your shoulders, drop your baggage.”

I find the idea of emotional endurance very powerful, because I think I have physical and mental endurance, but I am still working on my emotional endurance. With running, physical endurance takes training – it requires gradually increasing the work and includes rest. But with emotional endurance we just expect ourselves to… have it?

Emotional endurance is a skill. It takes practice and work to develop. It’s something you can train yourself for, the same way you can learn to run a marathon.

Emotional endurance, or self care, aren’t solutions to your problems. But self care will help you remove the roadblocks in your mind and your body that stop you from solving those problems.

Without self care everything is harder than it needs to be.

Start with your relationship with yourself

Your relationship with yourself is your most important relationship in your life. Without it, all of your other relationships (including the one you just lied to yourself and said is more important) will suffer.

Think about how you would respond if a friend told you they were in this kind of relationship:

They’re constantly pressuring you to do more, to be better
When you try to relax, they shame you
They’re constantly comparing you to their family, friends, and neighbours
When you make the smallest mistake they berate you
They can’t let anything go, reminding you about mistakes you made ages ago
They can’t ever tell you what they need
They make up excuses to stop you from doing things you want to do
And they never want to make plans with just you, other people always have to be around

You would probably tell your friend it’s a very unhealthy relationship, that no one deserves to be treated that way. But many people, including me, have relationships like this with themselves. The good news is that you can change your relationship with yourself, since you are the person treating you poorly.

This is a choice you need to make. It is work you need to do. It won’t happen by accident.

As the mug says, believe in your fucking self. Believe you are enough and that you are worthy of love – then treat yourself like that’s true. You don’t have to tell anyone else. It’s between you and you.

Thinking about thinking

I resisted mindfulness work for a long time. Sometimes it comes across as a very woo woo spiritual practice. If you’re not used to this kind of work, phrases like “set your intention” sounds like you’re being pretentious. It just means “choose to think about something specific instead of attaching meaning to whatever chaos your brain decides to throw at you today.”

Mindfulness, for me, is learning to recognize that you are in control of how you respond to your thoughts and feelings. It’s how you think about thinking.

There’s a quote I always see on the internet – I can’t figure out who originally wrote it. “Your first thought shows how you’ve been conditioned, your second thought shows your character.”

You can’t change your thoughts, they just happen. But you can choose which thoughts you hold onto. And you can choose to reframe your first thought for your second (or third, or fourth) thought.

The thoughts you hold onto shape the rest of your thinking. As Elsa says, “let it go…”

“I can’t afford to be broken”

A lot of people are conditioned to bottle up their own needs and vulnerabilities. I did this for a long time – there’s this illusion of emotional stability from stoicism, but without being able to really live a full life or regulate your own emotions. I used to spend so much time being attuned to the needs of everyone else that I completely lost myself. It can work for a time, but eventually it leads to sabotaging relationships, acting out, and burnout.

This is really prevalent in men, who society has conditioned need to be unfeeling providers who can never fail and never share any emotion past anger. There’s this TikTok meme about weight lifting that I think makes the point really well (again, I can’t find the original – remix culture is weird.)

“What do we do with our feelings?”

“We put them in our muscles!”

“What do we do when we have bigger feelings?”

“We make bigger muscles!”

Often I wouldn’t share my feelings, like “I feel hurt because you forgot about our plans” because advocating for my own needs would cause someone else to be hurt. “Well he just has so much else going on, why add my hurt to his plate?” I used to shove it down and grow resentful. I don’t do that anymore.

For me the solution is to accept my feelings are valid. Maybe I need to share them, sometimes I don’t. But I do need to feel them. My friend Kelly’s solution to this is scheduled Saturday morning crying. If you’ve seen Shrinking (you should watch it, it’s great) you’ll see this in action.

Learn to name what your needs are and advocate for yourself

It took me a long time to figure out what my needs are. I know my needs aren’t being met when I become overcome by anxiety. In the past I would let the anxiety spiral, but now I go for a walk or journal and that helps me figure out what need isn’t being met.

If you are having trouble naming what your needs are, it’s often because you’ve been conditioned since childhood to shove your own needs down and attend to everyone else’s first. If you’re like me, it feels selfish to have any needs at all.

Naming your needs is important, because once you know what they are you can start taking action to help them be met (or recognize they can’t be right now):

“I need a day free of everyone else’s obligations.”
“I need a break from communicating about hard things.”
“I need a day where I am not responsible for everyone else.”
“I need to be taken care of.”
“I need to see what I’m capable of doing on my own before I accept help.”
“I need more communication than is happening.”

You still might not be able to get your needs met – but you can create a plan. You can get ahead of the problem next time by being proactive. Rarely will you find someone who will know your needs telepathically and advocate for you.

You have to learn to advocate for yourself.

Most people want to help you meet your needs, but you need to help them help you.

Remember that no decision is a decision

Back in my tech days, I sold software that helped managers coach sales teams. One thing we found again and again is that sales people hold onto deals for way too long. The client can’t make a decision, but they keep the opportunity open – sometimes for years! This distracts them from finding new sales opportunities that they could win.

These sales people wouldn’t accept that no decision is a decision.

The same is true for plans and relationships. I always used to get stuck in making decisions. To me, decisions were always saying yes to something – going out with friends, going for a run, cleaning the house. Instead I would say (or do) nothing, which is basically the same as saying no, but with more agony.

Now I reframe this for myself. Agonizing for the whole day on if I should go running is really me deciding I don’t want to run. But I don’t want to admit that to myself, I don’t want to be accountable to that decision, or the consequence of it. So I waste the day until I can blame something else. “It’s too dark now.” “I just ate and I’ll get a cramp.”

Remember that “No.” is a complete sentence. I don’t need a reason to say no. I just need to say no and accept the consequence of that, which in the case of running is not meeting my fitness goals, or choosing to focus on rest and recovery.

The consequence is the same whether I say no, or lie to myself that I’ll go in 15 minutes for an entire day. Saying no has less agony, and I still have the right to change my mind later!

Accept uncertainty

Uncertainty is the primary driver of stress and anxiety for me. Your anxiety might vary. What I’ve found in my own behaviour is that when uncertainty hits a threshold, my anxiety takes over and I try to force a resolution – create certainty – to alleviate my anxiety.

I’ve been practicing accepting the unknown is unknowable, and creating space for uncertainty to reveal itself, which is a fancy way of saying I’m not taking any action. Allowing this space often leads to better outcomes. Here’s hoping.

When something is uncomfortable it means you’re growing

I’m going to quote Peloton a lot, because I think their coaching style brings in a lot of therapy and mindfulness language that’s very helpful to hear on a daily basis.

Recently I was doing a class by Emma Lovewell who said “Learn the difference between discomfort pain and injury pain. You can push through discomfort pain when you know what it is.”

Writing this newsletter and making YouTube videos has made me uncomfortable every week. I’m putting myself out into the world in very new ways. Writing this post is making me uncomfortable! The volume of sexual innuendo in my beet salad video made me uncomfortable! Writing a poem about mushrooms and reading it out loud was so uncomfortable! Writing about my mom dying was uncomfortable.

But the work that makes me most uncomfortable is often my best work. Pushing through the discomfort is helping me grow as a writer and a human. If I stopped because it was uncomfortable I never would have written any of these pieces.

I’ve started learning (and I’m still learning) that most of this discomfort is growth. Very little of it is because I’m making a mistake.

The biggest personal learning I’ve had this year – here and in relationships – is that the more me that I am, the more people like me. It’s wild. Who would have ever thought that people would like me more for being an emotional, funny weirdo instead of a generic handsome white man? (The answer is literally everyone, except when you’re evaluating yourself.)

Remember that both things can be true

Black-and-white thinking is a trap. It’s the kind of thing that divides societies and ourselves. “I didn’t meet my own irrational expectations of myself, therefore I am a piece of shit.”

Often this leads people to thinking they (or their work) need to be perfect – which really stops any progress from being made. For example, I am very stuck in my video editing process. I know that I am capable of filming and publishing one video a week – I did that when I was working full time in tech and doing YouTube at the same time! I have the time, the knowledge, the skills. I even have the videos filmed!

But I’m editing video of myself performing, a video that I filmed, a script that I wrote, and a recipe that I made. All the mistakes are my own. I see them and want to redo the video. Yes, I made mistakes, but I also made delightful jokes, filmed beautiful shots, and made delicious recipes. I get so hung up on making a “perfect” video that I lose sight of a simple fact: a “good enough” video is better than no video. It’s a standard I hold myself accountable to, but not other YouTubers – I watch shitty YouTube videos all the time! I love them.

I struggle with this one a lot still and it’s the biggest thing holding me back in this new career of mine.

So I’ve been practicing believing that both things can be true:

I can be behind in my own expectations for my work and I still need to take it easy to give myself time to rest.
I can see where a video could have been better and it still has value to my audience to publish it anyway.
I can love someone and not want to be with them (until things change).
I can need to lose weight for my long-term health and still be beautiful and worthy of love at any size.
I can text my friend Larysa “FUCK BICYCLE CRUNCHES” and still do bicycle crunches every day.
I can make a very serious point about body positivity and still make a joke about bicycle crunches!

Seriously, fuck bicycle crunches.

“The hardest part of running is putting on your shoes”

I’ve done a lot of long distance running in my life, and one of the quotes that’s always stuck with me is “the hardest part of running is putting on your shoes.” Deciding to run is the hard part. Once you’re out on the road, running is just putting one foot in front of the other for various lengths of time.

So if knowing is half the battle, doing the work is the second half. These are all techniques I use to various degrees when I start feeling overwhelmed, when I don’t know why I’m feeling stuck, or I don’t know what my needs are.

Another quote I love is “why suffer twice?” If you have to do something uncomfortable, you can spend the day agonizing about it and then do it, or you can… just do it. It’s one of the best brand taglines in history for a reason.

Why prolong your own suffering when you could be happy instead?

Journal

I feel journalling is intimidating for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that it can make you feel like a 14 year old girl. But 14 year old girls, like you and me, have a lot of big feelings. But at least the 14 year old girls are doing something with their feelings.

What stopped me from journaling before is overthinking:

What if my words are bad?
How do I stop re-writing my sentences in real-time?
What if someone reads it?
What if I hate what I write?
What if writing it down makes it real in my mind and I don’t want to face reality because its so much more fun to lie to myself?
What if I change my mind later?

There’s a journaling technique that changed this for me.

Get a blank sheet of paper and pen. Set a timer for 15 minutes. Start writing, and you have to write the entire time. You can’t cross anything out. If you make a mistake you just keep writing. You follow wherever your mind takes you without judgment. Thoughts flow through you to the paper.

At the end of the 15 minutes you burn the piece of paper. You don’t read it. No one will ever see it again, including you!

I like this technique a lot and I do this very often. I don’t like permanent journals. My friend Janice, bless her heart, loves doing 5-year journals where you can reflect on where your thoughts were on the same day from previous years. She’s been doing this for 15 years now? I can’t do that yet, it makes me too uncomfortable to see myself as I used to be (mostly I don’t enjoy confronting how many lies I tell myself.)

Writing is another form of thinking, that like meditation focuses your attention on something specific – helping you shape which thoughts you hold onto. Often when l feel stressed about a specific situation, I just start writing.

Writing, for me, helps reveal the second thought.

Treat yourself how you would treat a friend in the same situation

If you’re like me, it’s a lot easier to take care of other people than to take care of yourself. But when the plane is going down, you’re supposed to put your mask on first – if you pass out you can’t save anyone. This is true for all of life.

You cannot take care of others if you aren’t taking care of yourself. And you can care for them better if you are doing well.

Talk to yourself and other people

Self talk: Self talk is the way you talk to yourself in your head. It can be insidious and sneaky. There’s very obvious examples that I shared above. It’s something you can work on – remember that you’re in a relationship with yourself!

When you learn that you can redirect your thoughts, you’ll start to have more control over your emotions.

Stop should-ing yourself: One of my favourite sayings my therapist taught me is “stop should-ing yourself.” (Say it out loud please.)

I “should” be outside because it’s Summer and the weather is great – except the sun makes me tired and I want to play Pikmin. I “should” have a real job – except I hated having a real job.

“Should” is what society has conditioned you to believe to be true. Learn to identify what your own needs are.

Ask for help: I had a dinner party scheduled for the day after I did something very hard. I was emotionally spent and needed respite. Instead of trying to pull off the dinner party alone, I spent the day sad and playing Zelda (it was also launch day). When my friends showed up I had most of the food done – but I still hadn’t set the table, made the salad, or finished shaping pasta.

I gave everyone a job and it turned out to be really fun. In the weeks since, I’ve been really trying to practice asking my friends for help.

I also stopped apologizing for needing help and started thanking them. This is a profound change in self-talk and how people helping feel.

“Sorry I’m behind schedule.” “Sorry the house is a mess.” “Sorry I’m complaining so much.”

“Thank you saving dinner!” “Thank you for helping me clean!” “Thank you for listening to me.”

It’s no longer about you being bad, it’s about the people helping you being good.

Make plans

Initiate plans: Making friends and keeping friends as an adult is a lot of work. Everyone is busy, especially if your friends are mostly Responsible Adults. When you’re younger, plans just happen. As an adult, you have to make things happen.

I’ve been really focused here, initiating plans with friends every week – whether it’s coffee, a run, going to the market, or coming over for dinner. Sometimes I find errands are the easiest way to see a friend who’s very busy. Who doesn’t love going to Costco? (The answer is Kelly, but Kelly also always wants to go to Costco despite hating Costco. Both things can be true.)

Cook for yourself: I’m not a weekly meal prep person – I don’t want to eat the same thing every day for 5 days. What I realized when cooking food for Brett and Jules was that I could be making freezer meals for myself. I mean, I would probably use less cheese when cooking for myself. But having 2 dozen egg bites in the freezer and a few jars of granola means you’re never far away from a high protein, tasty meal.

Take yourself on a date: I tend to get stuck when it comes to doing stuff by myself. Whether it’s going to the movies, or a restaurant, I always think I’ll have more fun with someone else. And that’s arguably true. But going to the movies alone is more fun than sitting on my couch alone doomscrolling. And I always feel better afterwards.

Lorde has a great lyric that I find motivating here “And now I care for myself the way I used to care about you.” Though if you can care about yourself and someone else at the same time that would be ideal.

Create your own milestones: Time has no meaning anymore and hasn’t since COVID lockdowns. I don’t know when time will have meaning again. To create meaning, create milestones – big or small. It could be coffee with a friend, it could a dinner party, it could be a trip, it could be anything.

You don’t need a reason to make a milestone. You can make one any time for any reason. I find them very helpful and motivating.

Clean

Take a bath: Baths are sometimes mocked as self care, as if soaking in hot, bubbling, scented water is going to make all your problems go away. A bath will not fix your problems. But a bath does trick your body and mind – the warm and heat acts close to a hug in terms of brain chemistry. The quiet time away from obligations helps your mind rest.

Clean yourself up: Maybe your hair is crazy, maybe your beard is unkempt, maybe you didn’t iron your shirt, maybe I’m describing myself this morning in the third person? I don’t know. I do know that I immediately feel better about myself when I trim my beard, style my hair, and iron my shirt. Even if I have nowhere to go.

Empty your fridge: Nothing makes me sadder and less likely to cook than when I need to confront the sad spinach at the back of my fridge, that I bought when I had great intentions on turning my life around. I was going to eat spinach every day! I was going to wake up at 5:30 and exercise! I was going to be the man I was meant to be!

And since none of those things happened the spinach has more meaning that just being rotten spinach. But looking at it (or smelling it) every time I open the fridge just means I’m going to suffer even more.

Forgive yourself, thank the spinach for its service as inspiration for a better life, and then maybe buy less spinach next time.

Clean your space: I love being in a clean space, but I do hate cleaning. However, a clean space does two things. First, it stops you from should-ing yourself or self shaming (“I should be cleaning, this place is a sty, I guess I’ll just eat more Cheetos and be sad.”) and second it acts as a point of inspiration. A clean counter invites you to cook, a clean living room invites you have friends over.

Usually I trick myself into cleaning by putting on a 10-minute podcast (I like The Indicator from Planet Money) and saying I’ll clean until it’s over. Inevitably, once I start cleaning I just carry on until its done. This is one of the helpful lies I tell myself.

If your space is a big mess, do 10 minutes every day. Set a timer, stop after 10 minutes. It adds up and you’ll make a big difference over time. This line is in here specifically for my nieces to read. Yes, Amelie, both of you. No, I don’t care if Emma made the mess. Go clean before I come over with a broom and a garbage bag.

Move your body

I went through a fight-or-flight period of high anxiety for around a month earlier this year. Every time that feeling of overwhelming anxiety crept up I found the solution was to move my body.

Walk: I made a deal with myself to go for a walk every single day, for at least 45 minutes. I have now done this for 117 days in an row according to my Apple Watch!

I walk rain or shine. When I’m feeling impulsive, like wanting to send a text I know I shouldn’t, I go for a walk instead. I always feel better and I don’t end up sending the text.

During this time, my therapist said “Well, at least you’re not spending 10 hours on the couch eating Cheetos” to which I replied “well, I’m not eating Cheetos anyway…” (This was before I went on a snacking strike.)

When I notice I’ve spent too much time being sad on the couch I go for a walk.

Runners know that 40-minutes is a bit of a magic threshold for cardio – the “runner’s high.” I can’t explain the science of it, but what I can say is that at the end of every walk or run I always feel better.

It has not failed me yet.

Breathe: I’ve been doing Crush Your Core with Emma Lovewell on Peloton, it’s been really great – the classes are too short for you to realize you should be complaining, but so intense that you will message your version of Larysa to say “FUCK BICYCLE CRUNCHES!” after every class.

What’s struck me most is the plank holds: you escalate from 30 seconds to 45 seconds to 60 seconds, then to two 60 second plank holds. Time loses all meaning in a plank. The only way to survive a plank is to change your focus from your pain to your breath. If I think about my abs I will fall, but if I think about my breath I will stay up.

Breathing is a way to shape your thoughts.

There are many great breathing techniques to try.

Box breathing is something you can do anywhere, anytime. You change your breath to change your nervous system response. Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold for 5, exhale for 5, hold for 5 – those are the 4 sides of the box. Do that 5 times. You will feel changed.

Meditation is breathing: Meditation often has you focus on your breath because you have to breathe. You can become aware of it. You can control it. You can use it to change your mood. You can use it to change your mind. And you can use this as proof that you can control the thoughts you choose to let go and the thoughts you choose to hold onto.

Yoga is breathing and moving: Many yoga practices have integrated breathwork (pranayama) which can be therapeutic and soothing.

Guided breathing: Somatic breathing is a type of guided breathwork that can be integrated with therapy.

Talk to a therapist

I’ve been going to therapy since 2019. I did not want to go to therapy, but I was leaving an abusive relationship with an alcoholic and recognized I needed a lot of help. If I’m being honest, I went out of spite – believing that he needed therapy, and I was going to prove how easy it was by demonstrating it. Spite is a great a motivator.

What I didn’t expect was that therapy would change my life, my relationships, and my mental health. And now I wish I had gone sooner. It’s a critical part of building mental health, mental endurance, and emotional endurance.

Therapy is very expensive and it can be difficult to find the right therapist for you. I see a registered psychotherapist and I found there is a very large difference from when I saw a counselor. Your Googling may vary.

*The small amount of sugar, salt, and juice brings the best out of strawberries – creating a self-coating glaze, and making them perfect to put onto anything.*

Emotional Eating

Allegedly this newsletter is about food – so I do have a recipe for you. I think that eventually I’m going to compile these essays and recipes into a larger cookbook called Emotional Eating, as I think that’s the consistent theme of what I’m writing about. Cooking for joy, cooking sadness, for overwhelm, for celebration.

This week, what’s on my mind is that I want to eat a cookie… but I don’t want to take out my aligners, remove orthodontic wax, and remove elastics… and then brush my teeth, floss, rinse with mouthwash, brush my aligners, put my aligners back in, use a “chewie” to make sure they are seated correctly, put new elastics in, put new ortho wax in, and clean my bathroom sink.

Just for a snack.

It’s so much work. It’s more annoying than being hungry.

I posted on Instagram last night that I will only take my aligners out for strawberries that are red all the way through. It’s strawberry season right now.

So here’s my favourite thing to do with them.

Strawberries worth taking your teeth out for

Macerating strawberries is a great way to amp up their flavour, increase how juicy they taste, and make them easy to add to basically anything. These sliced strawberries will keep in the fridge for up to 5 days.

There’s a small amount of sugar added – sugar is osmotic, so it will pull the water out of the strawberries and form a glaze on the outside – so don’t skip it.

You could use lemon juice, but I like orange juice here. Use a grapefruit. Go crazy and use a lime! There’s no black-and-white thinking when it comes to citrus.

Optionally, and for a completely different flavour, you can add vanilla, basil, and balsamic. These flavours are incredible with strawberries. Try this on vanilla ice cream.

Ingredients

1 pint of strawberries, red all the way through
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp fresh squeezed orange juice
Pinch of salt
1 tsp vanilla extra (optional)
5 basil leaves, ripped into tiny little pieces (optional)
1 tsp balsamic vinegar (optional)

Method

Cut the strawberries: Cut the tops off the strawberries, then slice them into halves or quarters depending on how large they are. Place the cut strawberries in a bowl.

Macerate: Add the sugar, orange juice, and salt. Also add vanilla and basil if using. Stir to coat. Cover and leave for at least 20 minutes, an hour is better, a day is best.

Serve: Optionally top with balsamic vinegar and eat out of the bowl, or add to yogurt, ice cream, put on ricotta on toast, or use in tiramisu.

The Responsible Adults Friendship Club

Sun, 18 Jun 2023 12:00:00 +0000

I started a merch store! Like me, it is a work in progress.

You can order Responsible Adult Friendship Club sweaters and bags! Or a Probably Worth Sharing T-Shirt! Designs are by me, printed on demand by AOW in Montreal. Because they are printed on demand they can take up to 10 days to ship.

Prices are in Canadian dollars, flat rate shipping in the US and Canada.

*My friend Larysa, the President of our Responsible Adults Friendship Club local chapter, said the design reminds her ofBody Break, to which I replied “Keep appointments, pay bills.”*

The Responsible Adults Friendship Club

I once dated a very wonderful man – after our first date I told my friends that it was the first time I felt safe in a relationship. I was with another Responsible Adult. The kind of person who can, and will, solve any problem for everyone in the room (though likely not for themselves). It was the kind of experience that changed something in my brain, that showed me what was missing in my relationships all this time.

And it made me appreciate something about the people I now surround myself with: they are Responsible Adults. We feel safe around each other, so we don’t need to be on red alert – anyone in the group can, and will, solve all the problems that come up.

Once I understood this, I started calling it The Responsible Adults Friendship Club. My friend Larysa is the President of our local chapter. We have sweaters (you can buy one here).

It is very difficult to be a Responsible Adult. I don’t mean the basics, like paying your bills (which seems to get harder every day). I mean being responsible for other people: for their feelings, their well being, their meals, their transportation, their appointments, their home, and if you’re their boss – their mortgage.

My friend Kelly – a Responsible Adult – says, “You have to care the whole time!”

Parenting everyone else since childhood

From a young age I was responsible for way too much. I had to translate my mom’s paranoid delusions for doctors, I had to help my dad through bankruptcy, I had to take care of my sister when she was in and out of the hospital. This started when I was a kid and kept escalating, creeping into my work habits, my friendships, and my relationships.

I had learned to love solving everyone’s problems (except for my own). I was made for this.

After much therapy, I realized that this was not healthy.

Last year I decided to go on a problem solving strike. I would no longer rescue people, starting with my family. I outright stopped taking on any responsibility for my family’s problems. My nieces, then 19 and 14, wanted our traditional family Thanksgiving dinner, which historically I plan, pay for, cook, host, and clean up by myself. I told them if they want Thanksgiving, they could plan it.

They said they would. You will be shocked to learn that we did not have a family Thanksgiving last year.

I did cook a full Thanksgiving meal for myself (and I gave my dad to-go boxes to give my nieces). Still, the girls were upset – which was not my problem to solve! For Christmas they promised they would plan it for real this time – and they did! With a lot of coaching from me. But it was nice to not be responsible for once. I learned not to care if the mashed potatoes were glue (they were) or where my oldest sister was (Who knows? Who cares? Not me.)

The girls tried to make me solve their problems, so instead I responded to everything they asked with a question.

“We usually have Christmas at your house.”

“Is there a question you want to ask me?”

“Well, where are we having Christmas?”

“You guys want a big Christmas, and you said you would plan it. So what question can you ask that will answer your question?”

3 days worth of not asking the obvious question…

“Uh… Can we have Christmas at your house?

“Sure!”

I was always going to say yes, I just needed to be asked.

Being responsible for less is a great feeling, but for the over-responsible among us, it’s difficult to let go. Unless there is another Responsible Adult around, it’s really difficult to believe everything will get done. Which brings me to today’s topic: how to help your friends be responsible for one less thing when life gets overwhelming.

*Jules and Brett, soon to be parents and lovers of pasta bakes, egg bites, and chocolate chip cookies.*

One less thing

My friend Brett – a Responsible Adult – is going to become a dad very soon (like, maybe tomorrow soon?). Brett was my cofounder at FunnelCake. We spent every day for five years working beside each other, and another two years on Zoom. Brett was the person I could count on to fix any problem, to navigate any situation, and he was there to talk it out no matter how hard the reality of the business got. I would not have made it through startup life without Brett, and I am very grateful to have a Responsible Adult like him in my life. He’s going to be a great dad.

Now I have an opportunity to be there for Brett and his wife Jules (Jules is doing the actual hard work here. Hi Jules!) I wanted to help them in the way that I know how: by making them a freezer full of food so they have one less thing to be responsible for as they have a baby thrown into their lives.

So if you want to help the Responsible Adults in your life be responsible for one less thing, consider this my guide to making freezer food for other people. If you are a Responsible Adult without people you can rely on, I encourage you to create your own local chapter of the Responsible Adults Friendship Club.

And I know this is a wild suggestion, that I discovered only after cooking all these meals for Brett and Jules, but you can also make freezer food… for yourself! 😱

Escandalo.

When should you cook for people?
Packaging and portion sizes
How to freeze food effectively
Allergies, preferences, and value systems
Recipes by category
Helping people who aren’t physically close to you

*Taking photos of ready-made freezer meals is challenging, since they look like incomplete food. So here is chicken pot pie filling before (left) and after (right) being covered with home-made puff pastry.*

My guide for helping people with food

I often make food for people going through a tough time. Someone died? Lasagna. Surgery? Soup. Breakup? Pastries. Food is my love language. I may not give you a physical hug (we haven’t got to that topic in therapy yet), but I will give you a hug through food.

What does this situation need?

You can cook for anyone, at any time, for any reason.

But there’s a few times you’re going to want to help people with more than one meal, you want to stock up their freezer. Usually it’s when they are going to be very busy, tired, and emotionally depleted: when someone dies, when someone is born, when someone is sick or recovering from surgery, breakups and divorce, and when someone is moving or renovating.

Here’s how I think about these situations:

Provide ready-made meals that can go from freezer-to-oven with little effort and not much cleanup. Chuck it in the oven, set a timer, and you’re done.
Skip recipes that requiring thawing – no one has the mental capacity to be prepared, and they will forget the next day the food is thawing in the fridge and throw it out with their sad container of baby spinach.
Opt for comfort food: these situations sap your willpower.
Keep meals high protein so they are filling.

Let them know your plans

Some people – not me – love surprises. But if you are showing up at someone’s home with one or many meals, it’s important to talk to them about it first, particularly if you don’t eat with them or their family often. Food is very personal, and if they are going through a health issue or pregnancy their diet may have changed. So before you run to the grocery store, here’s a few questions to ask your friend:

“I would like to make some meals for you, how much room do you have in your freezer?”
“Do you have any favourite comfort foods?”
“Is there anything you or your family can’t eat right now?”
“Do you have any food preferences or allergies in your home?”

Get ahead of guilt and shame

Many people – especially the Responsible Adults – are not used to being taken care of. It’s a foreign concept to them to receive love and care without the expectation that the other person wants something in return.

I’ve cooked for a lot of people over the years and there are two kinds of protests. The fake polite kind, such as:

“Oh, no you don’t have to.”

“This is too much!”

“Doesn’t somebody else deserve this more than me?”

The second protest is the “I do not want you to cook for me” kind, such as “We’re going to manage this situation ourselves. I appreciate the offer, but we have it under control.” Don’t push on this.

For the first group, I’ve started to head these off, mostly because I’m tired of people not believing they deserve to be loved or cared for. Everyone, including you, is worthy of love.

“This is something I want to do for you, because I care about you. You are worth the effort for me.”

“I can’t help you get past the grief/raise the baby/recover from surgery, but I can make you some delicious food so you have one less thing to worry about. I want to do this for you.”

If you’re on the receiving end of someone being kind to you, I suggest you flip your internal and external script:

Turn “I’m sorry that I need so much help” into “Thank you for taking care of me.”
Turn “I don’t deserve this.” into “Thank you for prioritizing me.”
Turn “You’re too good to me.” into “I’m so grateful I have someone like you in my life.”

How you talk to yourself and about yourself is really important. Be kind to yourself.

*I mostly used these 5-cup disposable aluminum baking pans for Brett and Jules. They are easy to go from freezer-to-oven, no clean-up required, and a great portion size for two adults.*

Packaging and Portion Sizes

The easy thing to do is to make a full size 13x9” lasagna and send it over. But I want you to stop and think about who this food is going to first.

Do they live alone? Are they a couple? A family?

Adjust the portions to the family size

A full size lasagna is 12 servings. I live alone, which means a full size lasagna for me is a commitment – it would be lunch and dinner for 6 days (which is past the general food safety rule of 5 days for leftovers). This means I will either throw out lasagna or not even bake the lasagna until I can share it with others. For couples, the same idea applies.

Think about portions as coming in three sizes:

Single servings, that you can take from freezer to oven (or microwave) – a bowl of soup, a single tiramisu, individual egg bites, cookies, or pastries. These are great for everyone – single people, couples, and families.
2-person meals, which fit into ~5 cup containers. These are perfect for single people (leftovers for 1 meal!) and couples.
Family-sized meals, which fit into 13x9 containers.

You don’t necessarily have to change your recipes, especially for casseroles, soups, and pasta bakes – simply use smaller containers and make more portions.

For Brett and Jules, I made them a mix of single servings and 2-person meals. Every new parent should be able to make a single chocolate chip cookie from the freezer at 3am. Whether Jules starts counting the chocolate chip cookie dough balls as it becomes depleted is another story. (Jules: I will make you more cookie dough if Brett eats all of it before you, like that time he ate all of the miso peanut butter cookies at work.)

Put the cooking directions on the packaging

Brett, bless his heart, has no idea what is about to happen to his life when this baby is born. My oldest niece was born when I was 16, my sister lived at home with us, and I remember the experience vividly.

Writing the instructions is very tedious and annoying, but so important. You want to write very clear instructions for things that seem obvious to you:

“Cook from frozen” or “Thaw in the fridge before baking”
“Bake at 350 for 45–60 minutes, until bubbling in the middle”
“Brush the pastry with a beaten egg and sprinkle with sugar before baking”
“REMOVE THE CARDBOARD LID BEFORE BAKING! I KNOW YOU ARE TIRED! THAT’S WHY THIS IS UNDERLINED! REMOVE THE LID BRETT! IT WILL SET ON FIRE!”

If you are using glass or plastic packaging, I recommend buying some easy-to-remove labels (because no one wants to scrub adhesive off a glass jar when they also have to sanitize baby bottles.)

Assume you are never getting your packaging back

I joke with my friends that all of my nice glass containers are distributed across Kitchener. I will never see them again. I am fine with this, as the imposition of my glass containers and plates reminds my friends not to use plastic. But I am also sad, because I liked them. (I want my glass containers back.)

Pick containers that can easily go from freezer-to-oven, or freezer-to-microwave, or in the case of soups, have no lip so they can be emptied without fully thawing.

Aluminum disposable containers: My preference is to use these disposable aluminum containers. They are affordable. They are sturdy. They can go from freezer to oven without any worries. You can write instructions on the cardboard lid. Your friends are less stressed because it’s one less thing to think about, feel guilty about, or wash.

While aluminum is infinitely recyclable, you do need to wash these to recycle them. In my region, the guidance is to throw out any aluminum with caked on food.

I used the EHomeA2Z aluminum trays, 5-cup and 13x9, which are made in the USA.

Glass or ceramic freezer-to-oven safe containers: Glass and ceramic containers are amazing, and the only environmentally friendly option. But they are expensive and you need to check they are freezer-to-oven safe: borosilicate, tempered glass is safe, but other glass will shatter with the extreme heat change. Generally for glass and ceramic containers you want to instruct people to put them in a cold oven, so they gradually warm as the oven pre-heats. If you go from a -30 freezer to a preheated 425 oven your container is likely to shatter (borosilicate glass has a 275 degree range of flexibility). Make sure you write this on every single container!

Glass jars: Glass jars are a great option for soups, stocks, chillis, beans, etc. You need to check that the jars are freezer safe, as some can crack in the freezer. I most often use Weck Jars, since they have no lip. This means when you go to cook food, you can quickly run the outside under hot water and the frozen block will fall right out.

Compostable vacuum sealed bags: Plant-based (PLA), food-safe vacuum sealed bags can be a great option, as they are single-use compostable plastic. VestaEco is a popular compostable option, around $1 each.

Vacuum sealed food keeps exceptionally well in a freezer since it doesn’t allow freezer burn.
It’s easy to transfer to a pot or pan to bake, since you can cut the food out.
If you freeze the food flat (see below), it takes up so much less space in the freezer.

You can, of course, buy the dead dinosaur plastic vacuum seal bags as well. But why would you?

Parchment paper: Parchment paper is great for single servings in one big container. When unbleached, it’s compostable. It’s non-stick. It’s great to separate layers, for example if you are wrapping burritos, layering egg bites, or pastries for single

Silicone ice cube trays: Silicone ice cube trays come in a variety of sizes, from 1tbsp to 2 cups. These are great for freezing soups, stews, stocks, etc. because you can pop them out as big blocks, move them to a different storage container (like an aluminum or glass container), and when it comes time to cook everything is already measured. The downside is that they are very expensive and you want to avoid cheap silicone. While quality silicone is biologically inert and non-toxic, it’s a forever material that will never biodegrade.

Plastic quart containers: Plastic quart containers are popular because they are cheap and easy, and many people believe they are infinitely reusable. I’m not a fan of plastic and food, and the aluminum containers are the same price. But you do you.

Silicone zipper freezer bags: Silicone freezer bags are expensive, not recyclable, and silicone is a forever material that will never biodegrade. Poor quality silicone can leach smells into food. It’s reusable, but that’s all it has going for it.

Plastic zipper freezer bags: The easy, affordable option that’s accessible to everyone. The main downside is single-use plastic pollution.

*The layers of egg bites are separated with parchment paper, so the egg bites can be removed from the tray and reheated one at a time right from frozen.*

Freezing food with care

Yes, you can chuck basically anything into the freezer – but there are a few small things you can do to make sure the food holds up really well.

Make space: Clean your freezer so you have space before getting started. If you don’t have space in your own freezer, make room in your fridge and deliver the food to your friend the day or day after you make it so they can freeze it.

Make your trays sturdy and straight: You want a flat area so the food freezes in a sturdy, level way. It’s worth the effort to do this properly. If you’re operating with a chest freezer, set up a large baking sheet inside the freezer and do your best to make it level on top of whatever chaos is there.

If you are using large, flexible aluminum containers or vacuum/zipper bags, assemble your dish on a baking sheet and transfer it to the freezer on the baking sheet. Once full of food it will weigh several pounds, and thinner trays may be prone to bending, and possibly fall over and spill all your food onto the floor. Or it will freeze in a weird shape that will cause spills later, or be difficult to store.

Freeze individual items solid before transferring to containers: For things like cookie dough balls and fresh pasta, you can lay them flat on a small baking sheet – like a 1/4 sheet tray – and freeze them solid. The next day transfer them to a freezer-safe container or freezer bag. This will help prevent them from distorting as they freeze, and they will be less prone to sticking together.

Wrap single serve items: For single-serve items, like burritos, egg bites, or pancakes, separate them with pieces of parchment paper so they do not glue together into one giant mass that must be thawed before cooking. The last thing you want is to rip half the tortilla off a burrito when trying to make breakfast.

Freeze liquids in easy-to-thaw formats: Generally I like to freeze soups, stews, and chilis in compostable vacuum sealed bags. I lay the bags flat, so they freeze into a thin sheet. These can be easily stacked in your freezer, like file folders, and will thaw in 10 minutes in a bowl of water. The freezer bags are much easier to empty (since you can just cut the bag) compared to jars, which may have lips that require substantial thawing.

If you are freezing liquids in jars, I strongly prefer jars without a lip – like Weck Jars – since the frozen mass will easily fall out of the jar.

Leave headroom in your containers: Water expands when it freezes, and food is mostly water. It’s tempting to fill your containers to the brim, but you need to leave at least 1/2” to 3/4” at the top of your containers for your food to expand as it freezes. If you do not do this, metal containers will deform (and potentially leak while baking) and glass containers will shatter (rendering the food inedible).

*I made a lot of pasta bakes for Brett and Jules, which they love. This is Cowboy Pasta, which is made with spicy sausage, fennel, tomatoes, and cheese.*

Choosing recipes

Don’t impose your values when doing a good deed

When I was researching food to make for new parents, I came across this New York Times article. The article itself is fine, but what struck me was the comments – half the comments were people raging about the calories, the fat, the dairy. Where are the salads for new mothers?!

I have never been a new mother, but I can only assume new mothers don’t want salads. They are burning 500 extra calories a day from nursing. They haven’t slept in six months.

While you may be a health nut, it’s not your place to impose that on someone else – especially not someone who is healing, or grieving, or tired, or sad, or has no kitchen appliances. There is a time for salads, and there is a time for comfort.

Similarly, if you know one of your friends is on a specific diet – respect that. That is their choice, and it’s not a healthy relationship technique to sabotage them.

Ask about allergies and food preferences, then respect those

If you are cooking specifically for someone else and they tell you their preferences, and you ignore them, then you are putting your own needs before theirs. That is selfish and will ruin your good deed. “I just don’t understand why they don’t like olives?”

It’s not in your control to make them like olives. It’s in your control to respect their personal choices, and you should respect their personal choices if you want to have a healthy relationship with them and provide them with comfort.

Look, if you’re cooking for a dinner party and one of twelve guests dislikes olives – I get it. But this isn’t a post about dinner parties. This is a post about cooking for a specific person/people as a gift to make them feel better.

*This is bougie Hamburger Helper, which is really just a 30-minute bolognese sauce with cheese.*

Recipes

I spent some time brainstorming with my friend Christina – a Responsible Adult – on what should go into this gift package for Brett and Jules. I did not make everything on this list, but I wanted to share it to give you some ideas. To keep this newsletter organized, I’ve linked to the recipes I developed on my website or to people who have a very reliable recipe I use all the time.

A few recipes are missing links, as I make these by feel and have not written down my own recipes yet, so Google these at your own risk. I’ll update the web version of this post as I get everything written down in a repeatable way.

Breakfasts

I tend towards breakfasts that are fast and easy, because no one has time in the morning. These are smaller, single-serving items you can reheat in minutes, or in the case of granola take no reheating.

Granola – store in clean glass jars at room temperature, it’ll keep for 1–2 months (and you can mail it!)
Egg bites – freeze individually, separating layers with parchment
Breakfast burritos – wrap in parchment so they don’t freeze into one solid blob.
Pancakes – freeze in a single layer, separated by parchment. Reheat in the toaster.
Waffles
Quiche – Freeze whole, in smaller single-serve pie plates, or as slices (I use Jessica Koslow’s recipe from Everything I Want To Eat, here’s a similar version by her in Bon Appétit.)

Pasta bakes

Pasta and pasta bakes are perfect for freezer-to-oven meals. They are comforting and delicious. These can all be frozen directly in their containers.

I also included a package of home-made pasta stuffed with beets and ricotta (recipe from Flour + Water). I was making it already for a dinner party, so I doubled the recipe to have extras. I froze the pasta on a baking sheet, then transferred it to a container.

Casseroles

Like pasta bakes, casseroles lend themselves perfectly for freezer-to-oven meals. These can all be frozen directly in their containers.

Chicken pot pie (follow the white bean pot pie recipe below, but replace the beans with cooked shredded chicken and top with puff pastry)
White bean pot pie 🌱
Shepherds pie
Enchiladas
Cabbage rolls
Scalloped potatoes
French toast bake
Sausage and egg casserole

Soups, stews, and chilis

Soups, stews, and chilis are always comforting. Depending on the final consistency, you may opt to freeze these in jars or freezer bags that are easier to transfer to a pot for reheating.

Chicken broth for emergency soup needs
The world’s best chicken soup
Brothy beans 🌱
Baked beans 🌱
French onion soup 🌱
Shakshuka 🌱 – shakshuka is served with eggs baked in the stew, which should not be frozen. I added directions to add eggs after re-heating. It’s still good without eggs if they choose not to do that.
Minestrone 🌱
Chili

Breads

Sliced sourdough bread (see demo in this video, freeze after baking/slicing)
Feta-stuffed flatbread (I use Claire Safftiz’ recipe, freeze after cooking)
Tortillas (I use Rick Martinez’s recipe from his great book Mi Cocina, freeze after cooking)
Dinner rolls (KAF recipe is pretty good, freeze before baking)
Frozen croissant dough (freeze before baking, I make sourdough croissants with the recipe from Tartine Bread but I would also recommend Claire’s recipe.)

Desserts

I like to freeze desserts as single-serving options. Of course you can bake the whole batch, but this gives your person the option to have just one cookie at a time.

Brown butter chocolate chip cookie dough (I use Claire Saffitz’s recipe)
Oatmeal cookie dough
Crying snacks dough (adapted from Buttery French TV Snacks)
Scones (this is Marci’s recipe and yes you need all that baking powder, freeze before baking)
Puff pastry filled with jam (there is no recipe, it's just puff pastry… and jam. Follow the shaping instructions from the mushroom pastries. Freeze before baking.)
Single-servings of tiramisu
Single-serve crumbles and cobblers (freeze before baking)
Cinnamon rolls (I use the recipe from Modern Sourdough, your Googling may vary. Freeze before baking.)

*A very large pile of croissants from Arsicault in San Francisco, that my friend Miles waited in line for, then threw in a Lyft to send to my friend Christina, who sent me this photo and so many exclamation marks.*

People physically far from you

Many of my friends are spread out across the US and Canada – San Francisco, LA, Portland, New Jersey, Calgary, Toronto, Ottawa, Yarmouth. Often this means when my friends need support it’s difficult for me to be physically present or give them food that I made.

Delivery apps and gift cards are the easy, obvious option. But sometimes you want to do something a bit more personal, or even… ridiculous.

The cousin-cousin network

I have a few friends who know of each other, but do not know each other, in the same city. This has led to some projects, such as:

I ordered Tartine delivery to friends in San Francisco, who redirected it in a Lyft to friends in Alameda (where Tartine does not deliver), to help with recovery from surgery.
I had my friends wait in line at Arsicault, bakers of the best croissant in San Francisco. They don’t do delivery, so my friend Miles bought a dozen croissants to throw in a Lyft for my friends birthday (thank you Miles!).

Croissantmas

In 2020 I had learned how to make croissants at home. I made them every weekend with my nieces, leaving them on the porch for my friends to pick up. My friends around the world were watching this and sharing their jealousy they couldn’t be physically present to try the croissants.

For Christmas 2020, when everyone was in lockdown and unable to travel home or see family – the loneliest Christmas – I decided to overnight ship home-made croissants to my friends. It was a very funny moment. They had watched the croissants get made on my Instagram stories, and 12 hours later they showed up their doors.

Was it ridiculously expensive? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes.

Granola by mail

My friends have recently taken inspiration from my granola recipes and Croissantmas to do their own food-by-mail care packages. My granola recipes have turned out to be perfect for this task: granola is shelf stable, durable in transit, and customizable to make a personal gift. A friend of mine recently started sending granola to her sister every month. It’s been a fun way for them to connect – to discuss the flavours, enjoy the ridiculous nature of home-made food in the mail, and to support her sister through a challenging time.

Visit if you can

I have some other friends who are expecting, who live far away – so we made a plan for me to visit them and cook in their kitchen, which will be super fun! They are very dear to me, so the trip is worth doing.

Small gestures matter

It can be intimidating to cook for other people, but I promise you that the people you’re cooking for will appreciate the gesture. You don’t have to be ridiculous like me and make a full freezer of food.

One meal is enough!

And if you’re intimidated of cooking for someone who cooks really well (like me), don’t be. Home made food is special. Love really is a secret ingredient. And I promise you, the gesture means so much.

One of my favourite things every year is the wonderful 80s mom foods that my friend Kelly makes me every year for Christmas. I love ever last bite of it. It’s not the kind of food I make, but it’s food that love.

If you don’t know where to start, make my mac and cheese recipe – it’s relatively easy, low cost, and packs a punch of flavour. If you really don’t want to cook, there are great options everywhere – here in KW Dana Shortt Gourmet has deliverable freezer meal packages you can send to people when they need some extra care.

Help people do less.

Be a Responsible Adult. Join our club. We have cookie dough in the freezer.

Crispy chickpea, prosciutto, and parm pasta

Sun, 04 Jun 2023 12:00:00 +0000

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When I quit my corporate job my friend Christina sent me a jar of laser-cut fucks. Christina said I had run out of fucks to give and needed to replenish my reserves. The jar of fucks also came with a jar of hopes, since when you give a fuck about someone you also give them hope. (You can buy fucks to give here).

I’ve been going through a difficult personal time lately. It’s nothing I want to talk about here, but for a variety of reasons I am feeling stuck. I’m fine – but I don’t feel like my happy optimistic funny self.

The only way out is through, but some days it feels like I’m all out of fucks give (my jar is still 3/4 full). It feels like there’s a brick wall in my way. It’s in my brain, but it feels so heavy it has a physical presence. It’s blocking me, stopping me from cooking, or writing, or working on video. When I go into the kitchen, the brick wall is there. I open the fridge, close it, and order dinner instead.

I haven’t figured out how to push through it yet.

This means I’ve been ordering in more and cooking less. But here are only so many times in a week that you can eat kimchi fries when you’re trying to get back into shape.

To break this pattern I’ve started making easier meals with food I already have in my pantry. Sometimes all I can manage is to grab a can of chickpeas and get something tasty into my system so I can get back to playing Zelda, passing the time until something changes.

I’ve been making the recipe below a lot. If you follow me on Instagram it’s been on my Stories once or twice a week. This recipe it’s extremely flavourful, tasty enough that you’ll forget about your woes while you’re eating it. It’s extremely easy, fast enough that you can make it without really thinking. And it’s full of fibre and protein from chickpeas, so you’ll feel good about it, but with enough butter and parmesan you might still feel bad about it. Less self shame, more balance.

You can call this crispy chickpea and prosciutto pasta, or pantry pasta, but I’m going to call it fresh out of fucks pasta.

Because that is when I make it.

*In this photo I made the recipe with organic, bronze die bucatini. If you have any fucks left to care about the type of pasta you buy, I strongly recommend you use bronze die pasta for this kind of recipe. Bronze die pasta will have more texture to it, so this butter-parm sauce will cling better. (The opposite of bronze dies are Teflon coated dies, make of that information what you will.)*

Fresh Out Of Fucks Pasta

This is an easy meal to scale down for one sad person or scale up for a crowd of happy people. I would use one 540ml | 19oz can of chickpeas per two hungry adults. You can make the whole thing in around 30 minutes (if you ignore the fact that you have to pre-heat your oven), and you can make it in 15 minutes if you just keep a double batch of crispy chickpeas on hand!

Crispy chickpeas

Crispy chickpeas make a great snack on their own, perfect as a popcorn/chips replacement when you’re feeling snacky. Since I’m often cooking for one, I’ll use half of these to make pasta and save the rest for a snack. You can easily double or triple this recipe to have extra chickpea snacks.

You will regret not doubling this recipe.

Ingredients

1 can of chickpeas
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tsp sweet paprika (hot or smoked paprika work great too)
1 tbsp garlic powder (not garlic salt! not fresh garlic! (it will burn!))
1 tsp salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Optional chili flakes for heat

Method

Pre-heat your oven to 425°F (400°F convection).

Drain the chickpeas and add them to a medium bowl. Add the olive oil, paprika, garlic powder, salt, and freshly ground black pepper. Use a spoon to toss everything to combine and pour onto a baking sheet.

Bake for 25–30 minutes until browned and crispy. Shake the baking sheet halfway through.

You can spin this recipe for chickpea snacks – consider chili and lime (add lime after baking); cumin, mustard seeds, and garam masala; cool ranch chickpeas with garlic powder, onion powder, and lemon zest after baking; white cheddar powder; or nutritional yeast, salt, and pepper. Steal your favourite Doritos flavour but make it with chickpeas.

*The crispy chickpeas are really amazing. If you don’t want to make the full pasta dish, please make these chickpeas. They are an addictive snack. Be careful towards the end of the baking time that they don’t burn.*

*The crispy prosciutto really makes this pasta dish complete. If you are vegetarian I would skip it or replace it with kale. Then you need to use Fusilli, so this can be FUsilli, Chickpea, Kale pasta (to replenish your store of FUCKs). I thought of this jokeaftertesting this recipe and I don’t have enough fucks left to go to the store to buy fusilli (the pasta in this photo is Casarecce). Frankly, if you use kale it probably needs lemons and then the acronym is ruined.*

Crispy prosciutto

You can leave the crispy prosciutto out of the pasta, or swap prosciutto with another kind of deli meat (fatty salamis get crispy, lean meats will not). 3–4 pieces of prosciutto per person is a good amount.

Fold/drape each piece of prosciutto into a little mound. This will help it get crispy edges and be warm/melty inside.

Add to the same baking sheet the chickpeas are on when there is 10 minutes left in baking time.

Pasta & sauce

Ingredients

350g dried pasta – I’ve made this with whatever is in my pantry, bucatini was great and recently I loved this Casarecce which is bronze-die pasta made in Ontario (I bought it at Legacy Greens). Pasta boxes range from 350–650g, so use around 125g per person.
100g Parmesan cheese (grate your own! 50g per person)
2 tbsp butter (1 tbsp per person)
1/2 cup pasta water (eyeball it)
Salt
Pepper

Method

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Heavily salt the water. Cook your pasta per the directions on the box, ideally timing it to finish with the chickpeas and prosciutto.

Before draining the pasta, dip a mug into the starchy pasta water and reserve it to help make the sauce.

Drain the pasta, return it to the pot, and lower the heat to medium-low. Add the butter and stir to coat the pasta in butter. Add 1/4 cup of pasta water, half the Parmesan, the chickpeas, and stir until it looks glossy and creamy like the photo (about a minute, it will thicken as you stir). Add more pasta water if it looks too thick.

Place in serving bowls or plates, top with crispy prosciutto, more Parmesan, and fresh black pepper. Add a squeeze of lemon juice if you’re feeling fancy.

Other dishes for when you are low on fucks

As I wrote this piece, I really wanted to change the recipe to have the ingredients for FUCK as an acronym, something you can shout like Roy Kent when the universe decides to play games with your heart.

But the recipe above is really delicious, and frankly I don’t have time to make all of these, test them, and photograph them. I did start brainstorming with my friend Marci and we came up with these options that we think would taste good:

Fusilli, Chickpeas, Kale (the fusilli is really carrying the acronym here)
Feta, Udon, Cherry tomatoes, Kalamatas
Fries Under Creamy Kimchi Sauce (inspired by the kimchi fries at Bao Sandwich Bar in Waterloo which is my top “Marko is sad” food)
Fennel, Urfa Chili, Kiwi Salad

So even when you think you’re all out of fucks, you can still find more.

Find some more fucks to give!

And eat some pasta.

Rhubarb coffee cake

Sun, 28 May 2023 12:00:00 +0000

I love rhubarb. I think in another life, had I not gone to therapy, I could have grown up to be the rhubarb lady. My mom was the rhubarb lady, but with a Serbian accent, in every interaction in every part of her life.

Rhubarb is my favourite part of the weird Spring to Summer transition. You can get it very early in Spring, when it’s sweet and tender. You can get forced rhubarb, which is grown in the dark and tastes like candy. You can get it during strawberry season, for flavours that are made for each other, like a Hallmark movie romance.

I have a few staples I always make with rhubarb every year:

Whole wheat upside down cake – the upside down cake nature makes the rhubarb very tender and caramelized, at the expense of not being very Instagrammable
Rhubarb cobbler (I don’t have a recipe, I make it up every time – use the compote ingredients + crumble recipes below as a starting point!)
Strawberry rhubarb pie (I don’t have a recipe, I make it up every time)
Strawberry rhubarb compote (use the recipe below, but with half strawberries)
Strawberry rhubarb iced latte (put 2 tbsp strawberry rhubarb compote into your iced coffee)

This year I’ve already had two stellar rhubarb experiences.

Rhubarb… Sushi?

This week there was a rhubarb surprise waiting when I went to The Humble Lotus, my neighbourhood sushi restaurant. I asked Jared for a surprise roll – I like creative surprises in my food. He put together this roll with sea scallops, brown butter, and rhubarb compote. It was one of the best food surprises I’ve ever had. It’s a mind blowingly delicious sushi roll, I don’t know if you can get it from them anymore, but I’m so glad this kind of creative food exists in the world and in my community.

*Sushi with sea scallops, rhubarb compote, and brown butter – made at The Humble Lotus in Kitchener (on King St. at Cedar, beside Nova Era)*

Unrelated to rhubarb,I filmed the video below at The Humble Lotus when Jared made a special roll for me when I was sad. This roll doesn’t have rhubarb, but it is named after me (the “Marko roll”). It will be on their Summer menu and it’s very good.

Rhubarb coffee cake

A few weeks ago I was having a dinner party and wanted to make a rhubarb cake that would pair well with coffee. Rhubarb’s tartness works very well with coffee. I believe that coffee cake is meant to pair with coffee, not be filled with coffee. (For the best coffee coffee cake, see James Hoffman’s coffee coffee cake with coffee sous vide butter.)

The problem with rhubarb is that as the season gets on, rhubarb gets woody and stringy. The beautiful long pieces that decorate Instagrammable cakes can get stuck in your teeth like celery. And you never get enough rhubarb taste, it’s just a small amount in each bite.

I decided to riff on Claire Saffitz’s excellent coffee coffee cake, which has a layer of coffee caramel in the center. Instead of coffee caramel, I made a very intense rhubarb compote. I upped the spices and added lemon. I used yogurt and milk in place of sour cream and coffee. I swapped some butter for olive oil, as the flavour goes very well with rhubarb and coffee. Oil-based cakes keep fresh longer and taste even better 1–2 days later – perfect for a large cake like this.

I served this to friends at a dinner party a few weeks ago and it was a hit. I made two 13x9 cakes and everyone took pieces home. I then made another one just for me. It was so delicious I didn’t get very good photos because I was too excited to eat it.

You can use this as a base recipe with summer fruits* – the same technique would work for strawberries (or strawberry-rhubarb), cherries, peaches, and Concord grapes. While there are a lot of ingredients, this cake is straightforward for any skill level baker. It keeps well. It tastes great with coffee. It tastes great at midnight.

You will want to eat it all summer long.

* Rhubarb is a vegetable.

*The magic of this recipe is the rhubarb compote layer, which gives you an intense level of sweet/tart in every bite, plus the very tender melt-in-your-mouth thin strips of rhubarb combined with the buttery crunch of the crumble. It’s very, very good.*

Rhubarb compote

Ingredients

42g | 3 tbsp brown sugar
3 g | 1 tbsp cinnamon
500g | 1lb rhubarb, chopped
60ml | 1/4 cup water
Pinch of salt

Method

Place a medium saucepan on medium heat. Add all the ingredients, stir, and cover. Simmer for 20–30 minutes until the rhubarb is very soft and can be mashed with a fork or potato masher. Mash and set aside to cool.

You can use this compote in this coffee cake recipe, on toast, in an iced latte, and on sushi apparently. Replace with the same quantity of any other soft fruit, like strawberries, grapes, or peaches.

Cardamom and lemon crumb topping

Ingredients

160g | 1-1/4 cups all purpose flour
100g | 1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp ground cardamom (6 pods if grinding yourself)
Zest of 1 lemon
1/4 tsp salt
115g | 1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into pieces

Method

Add all the ingredients, except the butter, into a medium bowl. Mix with your hands to combine. Add in the butter pieces, then break them up between your fingers. You don’t want to see individual pieces of butter – you want a crumbly, uniform texture that sticks together when you squish it. Set aside.

Coffee cake

Ingredients

455g | 3-1/2 cups all purpose flour
10g | 2-1/2 tsp baking powder
6g | 1-1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
170g | 2/3 cup yogurt
115g | 1/2 cup milk
1 tbsp vanilla extract
115g | 1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature (plus more for buttering the pan)
115g | 1/2 cup olive oil
200g | 1 cup white sugar
150g | 3/4 cup brown sugar
200g | 4 large eggs, room temperature
6 thin rhubarb stalks

Method

Prepare your rhubarb and cake pan:

Pre-heat your oven to 350°F.

Generously butter a 13x9” baking pan and set aside. Optionally line the pan with parchment, giving you handles to easily remove the cake after it bakes.

For the rhubarb, you want to use relatively thin stalks if you can, so they get creamy and melty all the way through in the oven. If your rhubarb is more than 1/2" thick, slice it in half lengthwise. Cut the rhubarb so it’s 2” shorter than the length of your pan (11”). If you’re making this with another fruit, use your best judgement (peaches: slices; strawberries: halves; grapes and cherries: whole).

Make the cake batter:

In a medium bowl, add the flour, baking powder, salt, and baking soda. Mix to combine and set aside.

In another medium bowl, add the yogurt, milk, and vanilla. Mix to combine and set aside.

Cream the butter, oil, and sugar. You can do this by hand or in a stand mixer with the paddle attachment. Add the butter, oil, white sugar, and brown sugar, and beat until very fluffy – around 5 minutes. Try to beat as much air into this mixture as possible.

Add the eggs one at a time, beating until the mixture is homogenous before adding the next egg.

Add 1/3 of the flour mix and beat on low speed until just combined. Add 1/2 the yogurt/milk mix and beat on low until just combined. Repeat with another 1/3 flour, then the remaining yogurt, then the remaining flour.

Use a spatula to ensure everything is evenly combined and you see no flour remaining.

Assemble the cake:

Pour half the cake batter into the prepared 13x9 baking pan.
Then using a spoon, drop the rhubarb compote across the surface of the cake batter. Use an offset spatula to smooth it out into a roughly even layer.
Using a spoon, drop the remaining cake batter across the surface of the rhubarb compote. Use an offset spatula to smooth it out into a roughly even layer – some of the compote will rise to the top and that’s okay.
Scatter the crumb topping evenly across the surface.
Place the thin rhubarb stalks across the surface and gently push them down.

Bake, cool, serve:

Bake until the cake is golden brown and a paring knife comes out clean, around 40–45 minutes. The center will still be wobbly.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before serving. If you used parchment paper, you can use it as handles to easily remove the cake from the pan.

Cut into a 4x3 grid, giving you 12 slices. It will keep at room temperature for a few days.

Morels: an invitation from Spring

Sun, 21 May 2023 12:00:00 +0000

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You can listen to me read my poem below while watching this week’s recipe be made in beautiful slow motion on YouTube.

An invitation from Spring

The morel mushroom is an invitation from Spring It grows at the edge of the dark forest Where golden light shines through the trees Morels are only be found in the wild For a few weeks every Spring To find morels you need to look at the world changing around you And accept the future is still being written

Spring invites you to change Trees grow from branch to bud to bloom Racing against the last frost to make something new The birds are loud, looking for love The forest itself is changing Letting go of the past for a chance at a new life Creating space for the morel

Spring invites you be present For a brief, beautiful time Chaotic and oscillating The snow melts like a frozen heart The rain washes away the past The sun embraces you again like a lightning strike of of possibility

And though the grey skies return Blanketing everything in snow once more Quieting hope

It’s only for a minute

Spring invites you to believe That rare things can thrive Even the morel Too tender for the cruelty of summer Only here for a few beautiful weeks

Spring invites you to change If you choose to find a path through your own dark forest If you stop to appreciate what’s already in front of you If you stop to imagine what could be, instead of being held back by what was

Spring is fleeting You might not be able to see it now But like the morel Spring will be back With another invitation to change

I’ve been going for a walk every day, twice a day, for over two months now. It’s been very good for my physical and mental health. It’s also been a time for me to truly experience the changes that happen in Spring – the small changes every day that suddenly show up as big and unexpected as Summer.

I wrote this poem on one such walk. It’s about morels, it’s about change, it’s about choosing to leave the dark forest of our minds to reach for hope.

I haven’t written a poem in 20 years, let alone read one out loud, or published on the Internet.

But here I am.

I first made this pastry last Spring, the first time I had morel mushrooms. Morels are so rare and special I wanted to make a showcase for them. If you want to make this recipe, you might be able to get morels for another week, but otherwise you’ll have to wait for next Spring.

If you’re local to me, I got morels this year from Forêt Mushrooms and Brother Birch, and you can sometimes get them from Fresh & Tasty Mushrooms at the Kitchener Market (you have to ask, they won’t be on display).

You can, of course, use any other mushroom. Oyster mushrooms would look and taste beautiful, as would steaks of tender Lion’s Mane. Cinnamon Caps are regularly available at the market here, which have become one of my favourites for risotto – but only use the tops in this application (the stems are woody). You could use any mushroom, but I would opt for something tender and easy to bite through. Ask your mushroom vendor what’s best.

I made my own puff pastry using the good butter, which I found to be worth the effort, but if you want to go Pillsbury then go Pillsbury.

# Morel mushroom pastries with shallot cream sauce

Brown butter morels

Makes 8 pastries

Ingredients

8 morels (250g | 1/2 lb, around 1/2 lb of any other mushroom)
4 tbsp good butter

Method

Clean mushrooms with a dry pastry brush to remove any dirt (if foraged) or wood chips (if grown indoors) – don’t soak in water!
Cut larger morels in half (for other mushrooms cut to 2–3” x 1/2” pieces). Morels are hollow inside unlike most other mushrooms, so check for critters.
In a large frying pan on medium heat, add the butter and heat until the foaming subsides.
Salt the mushrooms with a pinch of salt.
Cook the mushrooms on one side for 15–20 minutes until deeply golden brown.
Flip the mushrooms and cook until the other side is deeply golden brown, another 10 minutes.
Remove from the heat and set aside.

## Shallot cream sauce

Ingredients

2 tbsp butter
8–10 shallots (500g | 1lb), diced
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
8 sprigs of fresh thyme (1 tbsp dried)
250ml | 1 cup cream (10–35% depending, I used Eby Manor 10% here)
Salt
White pepper to taste

Method

Put a medium saucepan (3.5 quart) on medium heat.
Add the butter and cook until it foams.
Add the shallots, garlic, and a pinch of salt. Cook for 20–30 minutes until the shallots are soft and beginning to caramelized but haven’t taken on too much colour yet.
Add the thyme, 1/2 tsp white pepper, and the cream.
Bring the cream to a gentle simmer and cook for another 15 minutes until thickened, leaving a streak of pan visible for a second when you drag a spoon through the mixture. It will reduce further in the oven.
Taste and adjust seasoning.
Set aside to cool.

## Pastry assembly

Ingredients

8 brown butter morels
1 cup shallot cream sauce
1 egg, beaten
1 pack of frozen puff pastry dough, thawed. For home-made, I used Claire Saffitz’s rough puff pastry from Dessert Person and unsalted butter from St. Brigid’s Creamery.
Flakey salt
White pepper

Method

Preheat your oven to 425°F.
Roll out the pastry to 1/8” thick and use a pizza cutter to cut 8 @ 4” squares.
With the remaining pastry cut 4” strips that are 1/4” wide.
Place the squares on a baking sheet, 1” apart.
Using a pastry brush, brush a 1/4” border around each square.
Place the 1/4” strips around the pastry to create a frame that will hold the shallot cream sauce. Smooth out into an even layer.
Place a morel in the centre. For smaller morels or other mushrooms, add 2–3 mushrooms.
Brush the edges with egg wash.
Sprinkle with flakey salt and white pepper.
Bake for 25 minutes until golden brown. The filling will look quite puffed when it comes out of the oven and settle as it cools.
Serve warm.

*I made 16 of these pastries for a dinner party last weekend, they were the standout for the meal. I am still hearing from my friends about them.*

How to dine out alone

Sun, 07 May 2023 12:00:00 +0000

Marko here – something different this week. I’ve been writing this newsletter every week for the last 6 months. I love that this is my job. But I need to learn to find some balance in this work and remember to prioritize myself and rest.

To give myself a week off for some much needed rest, I asked my friend and writing partner Marci Geisler to put this post together. You might remember Marci from my solo food trip to Montreal. She was the inspiration for taking a trip by myself and dining out alone. She turned her advice for me into this column.

I believe writers deserve to be paid for their work. All guest writers are paid for their contributions.

*Photo by Marko Savic*

Hi. My name is Marci and something you should know about me is that I love going out to eat.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a small business fast-casual spot, a dive bar with snacks at high tops, the knowable consistency of a chain experience like The Keg, or fancy fine dining with multiple courses and impeccable service. I love it all. Maybe this comes from years of working in restaurants, both as a server and as a pastry chef, but I love walking into a restaurant and observing it as the living, breathing, entity it is. I love the dance of good service, and the experience of food that I did not have to make, and when the music and the lighting have both been thoughtfully curated to the vibe of the restaurant. Even when it’s bad, it’s still good in my books.

When I was a teenager my life shifted away from a typical family upbringing. I was 15 when I moved out of my mum’s house and boarded throughout high school in a town that was 90 minutes away. My mum worked shift work as a nurse and we only ever saw each other on the occasional weekend. We would get coffee, go to the mall, and sometimes we would go out for dinner. Whenever we did it was always to Milestones.

Milestones is a sort of non-descript vaguely upscale chain dining experience, like Earls or Joey’s. They have cloth napkins and a cocktail menu. The price point trends a few dollars higher per dish than your average chain family restaurant. It’s objectively fine, but personally nostalgic. I don’t know why that was our restaurant of choice, but it was.

I relished these dinners. No matter what was happening in real life, going out to eat with my mum felt like a special, shining achievement. We were together. We were eating delicious things. In Milestones, we could be best friends, the type of mother and daughter we wanted to be, before life got in the way. Dining out gave us space to be versions of ourselves we couldn’t be at home, where the stress of bills, my school, her work, and our family, was always elbowing its way into our conversations.

It was like this until I moved to Toronto for university and then stayed, starting a life for myself on the other side of the country. Once I’d finished school the trips home to see my mum dwindled to maybe once a year, sometimes not even. I was living in one of the worst apartments I’d ever rented, working a job I despised, and feeling homesick in ways I’d never thought possible. When I saw that a Milestone’s had opened up in Yorkdale Mall (it closed in 2016, making way for the Cheesecake Factory’s Canadian debut), I decided I needed to take myself out for dinner.

My first solo dining experience:

These were days of considerable frugality, I don’t remember what I had to sacrifice to afford this dinner. I do remember a commitment to ensuring it was a full experience. I went with the intention of ordering a glass of wine and either an appetizer or dessert, in addition to the chicken pesto cream fettuccine I always ordered. I got dressed up. I made a reservation. We were in the smartphone era, but not the social media one, so other than BBM conversations, I doubt I spent much time scrolling my phone. I probably brought a book.

There’s a comforting sameness you get when you dine at a chain restaurant. It does not matter if I’m in Market Mall with my mum in Calgary, or Yorkdale Mall by myself in Toronto. A Milestones experience is a Milestones experience. The ambience. The dishes. They are the same. Familiar. Comforting.

It felt like the height of luxury to be there, I remember looking around and feeling very excited. I gave myself permission to enjoy the experience and enjoyment is exactly what happened. I don’t remember chatting with anyone, but I do remember that when the table next to me got up to leave, one of the two older women who had been sitting there leaned over and told me that she thought I was brave for going out by myself. She said it looked like I was having a great time. I was.

That was the ice breaker for me.

After that, it didn’t seem like such a big deal to go out alone. I got out of my shitty apartment and into a better one. A new bar opened up a few streets over and I started hanging out there, sitting at the bar by myself or with a girlfriend who also lived nearby, watching Raptors games or just shooting the breeze. I went there for first dates, a comfortable home court advantage for putting myself out there. It was easy, and I didn’t think about it too much.

As life went on and my life changed, I found a partner and suddenly, now that I had someone to go out to eat with, I stopped prioritizing going out by myself. Truly, I stopped enjoying the experience of going out to eat at all. In this relationship, dining out became the thing we did when we were too tired and too busy to cook. Later, it became the thing we fought about the most as money and spending became the focal point of our problems. I lost my own identity trying to create a new one with them. For a long time restaurants lost their shine entirely for me as they became a source of anxiety, both financial and existential.

It wasn’t until that relationship ended and I started my life over as a party of one I found myself in familiar territory: I want to do the things, but I don’t have anyone to do them with.

I remembered how it felt to be a local somewhere, how much I enjoyed sitting at the bar and chatting with the staff, and how nice it was to just get out of your house, your head, and go somewhere with a good book and great snacks. So I did.

Nowadays I go out alone more often than I go out with others. I tell people my absolute favorite thing to do is go out for dinner alone. When I do, the conversation inevitably veers towards the discomfort of it all:

“I could never”

“I would be so self conscious”

“I would be so uncomfortable wondering what people would be thinking if they saw me eating alone”

I get it. It’s a hard thing to do the first few times. But here’s the thing. All of these sentiments about being nervous and anxious about dining alone boil down to what you’re really saying:

“I’m uncomfortable being seen trying.”

It’s the same reason we give when we don’t want to try a new activity, visit a new place, or go somewhere we don’t speak the language. We don’t want to be seen doing something new/we don’t know how to. We project our fears and insecurities on those around us and assume everyone cares because we are the main characters of our lives.

But, my friends, the truth is we are more commonly background extras in everyone else’s experience than someone anyone would ever notice.

It’s monumentally important that we face this discomfort. It’s important that we learn how to dine out alone because doing so is an act of putting yourself first. Maybe you don’t dine alone because of your insecurities. But maybe it’s because you would rather do it with someone else, or you don’t think it’s worth it to spend the money on just yourself, or because you want to save it for a special occasion.

I truly believe all of these reasons lead us into living smaller lives than we have to.

When you dine out alone you are telling yourself you are important enough to spend time with. Dining out alone is an act of treating ourselves as well as we expect others to treat us, whether that’s friends or partners or first dates.

We need to set that bar high.

I love to dine out alone because it gives me time to examine how I am feeling about myself, my life, and my experience. It’s an act of self care. Of putting myself first.

I take myself out on my best dates so that when I meet someone new I know I need to have at least as good (but hopefully better) a time with them as I would by myself. But if we don’t hang out with ourselves we can’t know what that looks like.

So let’s find it together.

I want to assuage your solo dining fears. I want to give you a litany of tips to make it feel more natural. I want to tell you about some of my favorite solo dining experiences. By the time you’re done reading this I want you to be excitedly opening OpenTable to make reservations for yourself. Next Saturday we can salute each other across the bar with our pint glasses from our single bar stools and be exhilarated instead of anxious.

But more importantly, I want us to revel in the company of ourselves.

*Photo by Marko Savic*

A beginners guide to going out alone:

Get your head in the game

First of all, you have to start with your mindset. If you think the activity is going to be bad or lame or awkward you’re absolutely going to feel that way. It’s fine to be nervous or a little uncomfortable, but don’t sabotage yourself out of enjoyment before you even get going by fixating on it. Look at your time out alone as an opportunity to do something you want to do, order the dish you’ve been craving, try a flight of beers and maybe discover a new fave. Go to that new place that just opened. Wear that new top you’ve been waiting to wear.

Dining out alone is about pleasure, first and foremost. If you think about your solo dining as a time of possibility and delight you won’t be thinking about it from the perspective of what everyone else is thinking. Remember that we are here to spend quality time with ourselves, so treat it like the best first date you’ve ever been on.

The mechanics of it all:

For this to be a truly beginners guide I’m going to start with the assumption you have never, ever, been alone in a cafe, bar, or restaurant for any period of time. Which means you may have questions like “How long can I stay?” “What do I do with my stuff if I have to go to the bathroom?” “Are the servers/bartenders/hostesses going to be judging me the entire time?”

My general assumption for all dining establishments is that you should stay for however long it takes for you to consume whatever you’ve ordered + a bit of enjoyment/lingering time, but the length of your stay should be largely dictated by the environment. Is there a lineup out the door and the servers are run off their feet? I wouldn’t choose this moment to pull out my laptop or a book and get comfortable. Is the place mostly empty and/or doing a steady turnaround where there’s perpetually a few empty seats? You’re going to be alright to stay a while. Sitting at a bar generally allows you more time to hang out than a table, also.

If I have things I need to leave unattended and I’m alone, I generally don’t worry about it. Rarely do I think someone is going to steal my stuff while I’m in the bathroom. If you’re in a busy place you can ask an adjacent table to watch your things. If you’re sitting at the bar the bartenders are right there and will see if someone comes along to help themselves to your belongings. If you’re really concerned, just bring everything with you, like you’re at the airport and you don’t want your unattended baggage to become a bomb threat.

Lastly, let me assure you that the staff at the establishment you’re at are not thinking about you. They are thinking about whether or not they put in their last order correctly, did they drop that side of ketchup someone asked for, and which of the beers they just poured is the IPA and which is the Lager. You, sitting solo, are literally the least of their concerns.

Pick the right kind of vibe:

At the start of your solo dining career focus on going to places that are lively and you’re comfortable at. Do you have a local bar you go to with friends all the time? Go there. You’ll feel more comfortable being around familiar staff.

If the idea of going out alone really stresses you out, start with going out for a drink instead of a meal. Are you comfortable going to a coffee shop alone? If yes, then think of grabbing a drink alone as the nighttime version of that. Pick a place with a bar and sit at it - it’s less awkward to be solo at a bar than it is at a table. Hotel bars are also great options. Everyone in a hotel bar is on their way somewhere else, so you’re virtually guaranteed to never see any of them again.

Make up an entirely new identity and go out as someone who is just passing through. Are you a flight attendant? Management consultant? CIA agent pretending to be a flight attendant/management consultant? Pick a fake name and go for it. You can be anyone you want.

When you’re ready to graduate to solo dining - you can go one of two ways:

Pick an anonymous chain that’s lively, but forgettable. Is it even possible to be self conscious at an Earls? The fact that you’re alone is irrelevant. You won’t see anyone you know and your server will probably be younger than you. Exhale. If you walk in and you’re the only person around, just leave. It’s Earls. They won’t take it personally.
Pick a busy pub or brewery that’s rowdy and serves a great burger. You deserve only delicious things, always, but especially if you’re stepping outside your comfort zone. You’ll be lost in the crowd and the music/vibe will provide excellent people watching. Wear flannel, a toque, and a cool pair of glasses - it’s possible that people will think you work there and you’re just chilling on your break.

But what do I do with my hands?

You did it. You went out, and now you’re sitting at a bar or a table and you’re alone. You’ve ordered a drink. Maybe food. You can sit there and scroll your phone but once you’ve refreshed Instagram a few times there’s probably not a lot going on for you to look at. Now what?

Personally, I’m a big fan of bringing a book with me. Reading while drinking a beer is no different than reading while having a coffee. It’s a perfectly approachable activity - if you’re going out in the hopes of meeting single people it gives someone an easy way to start a conversation. If you don’t want to talk to anyone new, a book gives you something to focus on while you pointedly ignore the strangers around you.

You could also bring your laptop and most everyone will assume you’re a corporate junkie doing capitalist things, but laptops and food are not my favorite combination.

Not a reader? Splurge on a magazine on whatever topic interests you the most (I like Bon Appetit and Hello Canada, because I love food, food styling, and prefer my trashy gossip to be royal family focused).

Or you can bring a sheet of paper and write a letter to me detailing how great (or terrible) your experience is. If you’re hating the whole thing, blame it on me, I can take it.

Do you knit or crochet? That’s also a perfectly acceptable activity and possibly a conversation starter, but if you’re not an extrovert I’d maybe stick with the book or magazine option.

Practice makes perfect:

As with all things you’re not going to feel like a champ on your first go around. But the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Do you like sports? Go to a bar during a televised sporting event under the guise of watching it. That’s a low pressure way of getting out of having to speak to anyone.

Embrace the fact that solo dining allows you to step firmly into your Harriet the Spy era.

I can’t tell you how many downright outrageous conversations I’ve overheard or beautiful heart swelling and/or hilarious moments I’ve witnessed as a solo patron. I’ve heard men talk about heartbreak and plan elaborate proposals. I’ve listened to best girlfriends dissect first dates, and (as a group) craft the perfect follow up text. Witnessed numerous birthday celebrations. I once watched a toddler crawl under a neighboring table and fall asleep (the ensuing frantic search for the missing baby was also entertaining, in a “is it okay if I laugh at this?” kind of way).

I’ve swapped hiking stories with a man who was Al Capone’s neighbor in Chicago. Made friends with a group of 75 year olds who love to sit at the bar and chat to whomever sits beside them. My current Saturday hiking crew came about because I was alone at a table with a huge umbrella and an unexpected rainstorm blew in and they asked if they could seek shelter with me. I am on a first name basis with bartenders across the country.

The universal truth is that you’re never really dining alone.

Ask your server how their day has been. Treat everyone around you with kindness and like they have a story to tell. If you’re willing to hear that story, I can promise you that eventually you will be a very interesting person to talk to at parties.

When you’re ready to level up

The true joy of getting comfortable dining alone is that it unlocks an entire world of culinary experiences for you.

I’ve started choosing more upscale restaurants, truly bucket list places, and going by myself.

Sometimes I made a reservation for one. Other times I try my hand at a walk in. The glorious thing about being a solo diner is that you can almost always snag a seat at the bar without needing to wait for a table or having to make a reservation. Last summer I went to a restaurant famous for its 8 course fine dining prixe fixe menu and because I was alone I actually got more per course than the average table of two or more people. It was heaven. I was so full.

Dining out alone at expensive restaurants is kind of like knowing a secret cheat code in a video game. You’re a novelty for the kitchen and if you’re chatty with the staff you might find yourself receiving extra or experimental dishes to try. You get to go to the hot trendy restaurants without having to wait for someone else. You never have to feel guilty if you’ve picked a place outside of someone’s financial comfort. And honestly, the more upscale the restaurant, the more fun it is to be a solo diner. You can observe the elaborate choreography that is a well run service free of distracting conversation.

One last story to leave you with. A few Christmas’ ago I made a Christmas Eve reservation for myself and a friend. At the last minute she had to cancel, but I kept the reservation and went by myself, getting dressed up in a fancy dress and a vintage fur. I ordered a glass of wine and settled in with a book, chatting a bit with the couple seated beside me. At one point the manager stopped by and offered me another glass of wine on the house, which I thought was nice, but odd. At the end of my meal he came over and said they were comping the entire thing - it dawned on me at that moment that they thought I had been stood up by a date on Christmas Eve. Despite my attempts to insist it wasn’t necessary they handed me my dessert to go and I tipped the amount I expected the bill would have been and went on with my night. You just never know what will happen when you step out as a party of one. Going out alone to a fancy restaurant and getting all dressed up is now my Christmas Eve tradition.

I share these experiences in the hope that I can convince you to make going out alone a totally normal part of your life. That you will prioritize Friday nights with your pals, but maybe take Wednesday’s for yourself at your local bar or brewery. When a weekend rolls around that you don’t have any plans you’ll get dressed up and take yourself out somewhere nice.

Once you get over the initial awkward-is-everyone-looking-at-me (they’re not) feelings, going out alone is the best. You get to control where you go, how long you stay, what you order, who you talk to, and what kind of experience you have. It’s beautiful and wonderful and empowering.

Dining out alone is a reminder that you are worth spending time with. You deserve nice things, including delicious meals you enjoy by yourself.

So grab a book and settle in. I saved you a seat at the bar.

Stained glass focaccia

Sun, 30 Apr 2023 12:00:00 +0000

I finally started watching Ted Lasso. Almost everyone in my life has been telling me to watch it since it came out. I watched the whole first season last night, in one sitting. I also did the same with Shrinking last weekend (which has a better first season than Ted Lasso, and if you haven’t watched Shrinking yet you must).

I relate a lot to Ted Lasso. I think I have the relentless optimism he has in people, the ability to believe them no matter what, and to help them believe in themselves. Even when things get hard. Even when they let themselves down.

When I was in a leadership role, I would buy a mug for people on my team going through a tough time – it said “believe in your fucking self.” Lately I’ve been struggling to believe in myself, to trust myself, so I think it’s time I finally buy one for me.

I’ve been thinking about the kind of person I want to be and the kind of people who I want and need in my life to get there.

It’s really hard to become the person you want to be. It’s easier if you have people who make you want to be better, people who inspire you to put in the work. I have someone new in my life who’s inspiring me to be a better Marko. I can feel myself changing me from the inside out. I’m excited to see who I become after this period of deep work, as I learn to believe in myself again.

On the flipside, there are people who want you to be someone you’re not. I recently auditioned for the Great Canadian Baking Show. I did not get on. I did make it to the final round of auditions, what they call the Bake Along. It’s a 90-minute Zoom meeting where you have to make a decorative bake, live on Zoom while they quiz you about your life.

You have to make a trendy Pinterest food, food I wouldn’t ever make (or even eat because it’s a terrible eating experience) – but food that’s great for an Instagram story.

Figuring out how to make this never felt like I was becoming a better version of myself – I was becoming someone else instead. I didn’t feel good about it. In my rejection letter, they said I need to spend another year working on my decorating skills and identify what my “point of view” as a baker is.

It took some time, but I realized that they want a person I am not. I’m not the kind of baker who likes the TikTok cake decorating arms race. I am not the baker who makes ever more beautiful foods that go viral. When your audition is on Zoom, your show is on TV, and your photos are on Instagram, they don’t get to taste your food. It doesn’t matter how it tastes. It matters how it looks. There’s nothing wrong with people who value that, but that’s not what I value.

I value flavour first and foremost. I’m a reliable person, so I like reliable recipes, which often means removing decorations. I like connecting the quality of ingredients, our food system, and our social issues together – which often means simpler few, since good ingredients are expensive and you don’t want to risk them on a bad recipe. I want to inspire people to believe they can make great food at home. Cooking is easy, it’s affordable, it tastes great, and it feels really nice to be able to care for the people in your life through food.

I like to help people believe in themselves. The most joy I get from this job is when people tell me about how they made my recipes and they turned out so great. Every day I hear from someone different who’s made this cauliflower recipe and it changed their view on vegetables.

So that’s my point of view, and that’s why I do this work.

As part of the audition process I had to make a decorative bake. I made this stained glass focaccia, inspired by a needle point my mom made that’s still hanging in our childhood home. It’s a beautiful dish, but it’s about the flavour.

The focaccia itself is my cold-proof, no-knead recipe that has a deep flavour from the long time in the fridge (and it’s easy! Linda, who never made bread before, makes it in the kitchen on her boat every week now!). The salami roses become crispy-tender, like the perfect pepperoni cup. The braided chives are beautiful, but the braiding also stops them from burning. The tomatoes, garlic, and shallots round of the flavours. There is something delicious no matter which slice you get.

It’s easy, it’s repeatable, it’s special.

And anyone can make it.

You can make it for Mother’s Day next week (or Motherless day, depending on how you celebrate). It’s particularly good if your mom is a charcuterie board fan or the type of person to ask for a cold cut platter at her funeral. If your mom is around and you have a relationship you want to invest in, invest in it while she is still around.

The focaccia recipe is below. If you’ve never made bread before, I have 3 tips for you to feel confident you can make this. I know you can make these recipes. What I need is for you to believe in your fucking self.

And I need you to buy a kitchen scale for $15.

Cups aren’t real

Do you ever wonder why recipes say “1 teaspoon Diamond Crystal kosher salt, half if using Morton’s” and then zero guidance for your pink Himalayan salt? Salt has varying densities based on the shape of the salt crystals.

1 tsp Diamond: 3 grams
1 tsp Morton’s: 6 grams
1 tsp pink Himalayan salt: it depends on your salt grinder, who knows?!

The same is true for flour. If you just scoop flour, it could be anywhere from 75g to 250g. You could tediously sift it, scoop it with a spoon, level off the top with a knife. Or you could buy a $15 scale and measure 120 grams every time.

I hear people say “I can’t do this, I can’t bake” there are two possible answers:

You’re a no good very bad baker. You can’t learn any new skills. You’re a horrible person and no one will ever love you. You simply should never try because it will never work.
The way we measure and communicate ingredients is inherently inaccurate, so you can accidentally use twice as much flour without meaning to, and that’s really shitty but there’s an easy solution and it costs $15 if you want to put aside your bullshit and try it.

You might be thinking, “what if my recipe accounts for how people measure by hand?” WHO’S HAND?! WHO’S CUP?! Everyone measures differently! If you want to convert a recipe you’re already making, measure the weight as you make it the way you normally do and then write the weights down!

100 grams is almost always 100 grams. 1 cup is never 1 cup.

I have the Escali scale, but the Amazon Basics scale is accurate enough for most people.

How to use a scale

Kitchen scales do a self-calibration when you turn them on. Dust off your counter, place the scale on a flat surface, then press “on”. If you turn it on in your hands or on a pile of crumbs it might be off.

Almost all kitchen scales have a “tare” or “zero” function – this reset the scale’s display to zero, so you don’t have to do mental math.

Method 1 – everything in a big bowl

This is what I usually do and everything works out fine.

Place a bowl on the scale
Tare it (zero)
Add an ingredient
Tare it
Repeat

Method 2 – use a measuring bowl and a big bowl

This is moderately more accurate for small volume ingredients (like measuring 3 grams of yeast), and it gives you more control as you’re learning how to measure ingredients (for example, it’s really hard to remove salt if you add too much to a bowl that already has flour in it).

Set a large bowl on your counter
Place a small bowl on the scale
Tare it (reset to 0)
Add one ingredient
Dump that ingredient from your small bowl to your larger bowl
Repeat with the next ingredient in your small bowl

There are a lot of people who will say scales are inaccurate for small volumes, but I do all of my baking with a scale. If you’re an anxious person, you can get a coffee scale that measures accurately to 0.1 grams for things like salt and yeast. But I don’t do that.

And your teaspoon was wrong anyway, so let it go.

Please just buy a $15 scale.

Your oven is a liar

Why does your bread take 30 minutes one day, 60 minutes the next, and the recipe says 45 minutes? Because your oven is a liar. Ovens have a variety of internal sensors that can degrade over time (or just get dirty and covered in grease). So your oven might think it’s 350°F, but it’s actually 300°F or 400°F. It might be consistently off, which you can learn and adjust how you bake.

If you frequently run into issues where your food burns or takes 25–50% longer than a recipe, you probably have issues with your oven. But you don’t need a new oven, you need a $10 thermometer.

How the temperature is read by your oven

Ovens are very finicky – they read the temperature using a thermometer, often in the upper back corner. Since the top-corner doesn’t necessarily reflect the part of the oven you’re baking in, complex math happens behind the scenes to approximate the baking temperature. This thermometer can also be damaged over time, or coated in grease that polymerizes, creating a coating that interferes with the readings. Moisture also affects the reading.

How to check your oven’s calibration

Place an oven-safe thermometer in your oven, in a place you can see it when the oven door is closed. You’ll also need a notebook (or a note on your phone). Set your oven to bake and 350°F and leave the door closed the whole time.

When your oven finishes the pre-heat cycle, look at the temperature and write it down. Wait 15 minutes and write down the temperature. Do this 3 more times (5 total readings, 1 hour post pre-heating).

You want to notice a few things.

What is the average temperature? Is it close to your target?
How large are the variations?
1. Are the variations in one direction, like the oven is 325°F when it should be 350°F? If so, you may need to recalibrate your oven.
2. Are the variations wild swings, like the oven is 325°F and 375°F? If so, you may need service on your oven.

Calibrating your oven

You can refer to your owners manual for how to calibrate your oven, but I would recommend you try the following first – adjust a few recipes to accommodate for why your oven is off. If you set the oven to 350°F, but the thermometer shows 325°F, set your oven to 375°F. Does it fix the problem? Do your bakes come out as expected?

Depending how that goes you can try to adjust the calibration yourself or call an expert.

Use a thermometer

I don’t understand people who say they measure the doneness of a steak by comparing it to how clenched their palm is. It’s ridiculous. What if your palm has more fat than someone else’s? What if you have really strong palms from rock climbing?

Is your chicken done because it’s white now? How long has it been white? Is it 165°F and safe to eat, or 195°F and dry leather? You’re going to find out when it’s too late to change anything.

What you need is a thermometer. You can buy an analog thermometer for $15, but I would strongly recommend a Thermapen if you can afford it (it makes a great gift!) – but any kind of thermometer is better than nothing. You’ve seen me use this in my videos.

A thermometer is data. It gives repeatable, reliable facts. If you feel you don’t need one, don’t use one. But if you find you’re over- or under-cooking things, it’s an indispensable tool to make your cooking the same every time.

When it comes to bread, like this focaccia recipe, a thermometer gives you a perfect indication for when a bread is ready. Gluten completes denaturing at around 185°F, so most breads will be fully cooked at 190°F. Enriched breads, meaning added butter and milk like brioche, are done around 205°F. For a soft bread like focaccia, checking the temperature is a great way to ensure you’re getting the perfect texture every time.

I also use a thermometer when cooking meat, reheating frozen food, making cheese, caramel, yogurt, and more. My Thermapen is one of my most used kitchen tools.

# Stained glass focaccia recipe

I’m editing the video for this now, but I’m quite behind on my schedule due to the disruption the baking show had on my life. The video will have visual tutorials for creating the decorations, but for now I can give you pictures and an older tutorial video for the focaccia dough. I will post on Substack Notes once the video is up.

This focaccia recipe is relatively forgiving, so if you’re not ready to start using these tools to be a better baker, that’s okay! The focaccia will still work. But if you do get these tools, this focaccia will change your life.

Next week I will also publish some printable, PDF diagrams for different focaccia designs for different pan sizes for paying subscribers.

Ingredients

Focaccia dough

800 grams all purpose flour (~6 cups)
640 grams water at 40° Celsius (2-3/4 cups)
60 grams olive oil (~1/4 cup)
18 grams salt (1-1/2 tablespoons if using Diamond Crystal Kosher Salt)
15 grams honey (1 tablespoon)
3 grams active dry yeast (1 teaspoon)

Toppings:

60 grams olive oil (1/4 cup)
5 grams salt (1 teaspoon)
60 grams water (1/4 cup)
175g Salami, 2-1/2–3” thin slices (preferably from a regenerative farm) – 9 slices per rose, for 5 roses you want 45 thin slices.
50g chives (longer is better, Chinese chives work great if you’re braiding chives but I used the unlabelled “chives” from the grocery store.)
10–15 Cherry tomatoes
1 head of garlic
1–2 shallots, ideally a small one
1/4 cup olive oil for frying basil
10–15 small basil leaves, rinsed and dried on a kitchen towel

Method

Make the focaccia dough

1-5 days before you want to eat:

Mix all the dough ingredients in a bowl until no dry flour remains, about a minute. Cover and place in the fridge overnight, up to 5 days. 3 days creates the optimal flavour, but most often I leave this overnight.

On the day you are ready to bake:

For the decorative focaccia, I’ve made this in both a 13x9 pan (3 roses) and a regular baking sheet (half-sheet). The half-sheet gives you a thinner focaccia and more room for decorations. Whatever pan you are using, generously oil it so the focaccia doesn’t stick.

Remove the dough from the fridge, and move it from the bowl into your baking pan.

Gently tug the sides of the dough slightly larger than the size of your pan – it will contract slightly. If the dough resists you or tears, give it 5 minutes to relax.

Cover the dough and proof until it has doubled in size and is very jiggly when shaken. Depending on the temperature of your house this can range from 4 to 6 hours in cooler climates and 1-2 hours in the summer. In a proofing box it will take 90 minutes.

Preheat your oven to 450°F / 425° if using convection.

Dimple the dough

Pour the remaining olive oil onto the dough, then coat your hands in olive oil to make them non stick. Poke your fingers into the dough as if you are playing piano to create dimples. The dimples give the dough room to expand and create pockets for the olive oil. You want to be thorough but gentle in this process.

*Twisting chives is easy, twist right before putting them onto the focaccia dough – the dough will keep the shape.*

*Braided chives are beautiful but tedious and frustrating, so it depends on how much work you want to put into this. It will take you an hour. You will rip chives. But you can do this with the help of a good podcast.*

Braid (or twist) your chives

Chives will look “pointy” and burn in the oven if you simply place them on the focaccia dough. You have two options,

Twist the chives – take 3 chives, twist them together, and then push them into the dough to help them keep their shape. It’s relatively fast and prevents burning, it will look good and taste good.
Braid the chives – take 3 chives, gently tie a knot at the top. Braid the chives and tie a knot at the bottom. Use kitchen shears to cut the excess off. Braided chives will look really beautiful and hold their shape better. You can use the knots as decoration points, covering them with vegetables or salami roses.

Make sure you have enough chives to create a frame around the center of your roses, as well as for the vines for your roses and shallot flowers.

*The salami roses use an espresso cup or shot glass as a mold, layering the salami in an overlapping pattern to create a rose-like shape.*

Make salami roses

You need a small (1”–1-1/2" wide) container – like an espresso cup or shot glass.

Each rose needs 9 pieces of salami, creating 3 layers of of 3 pieces each.

Place a piece of salami 1/3 into the glass, 2/3 out and fold it over the edge
Overlap the next piece and fold in the same way, repeat for a third piece. You should have covered the full glass.
For your second layer, stagger the salami so it’s shifted to the left or right from the first row. Fold 3 pieces with 1/2 in the glass, 1/2 out of the glass.
For the final layer, stagger the salami again, and fold the pieces with 2/3 in the glass and 1/3 out of the glass.
Press firmly on the edge of the glass to keep the shape.
Drop the salami rose out of the glass
Set aside on a plate in the fridge until you’re ready to assemble

Cut the vegetables

Slice the cherry tomatoes in half, so they can appear like rosehips.
Peel the garlic and slice it in half, from north pole to south pole. Keep the matching halves together.
Peel the shallot by slicing into the outer paper, but leaving the shallot whole. Slice the shallot from north pole to south pole, creating tulip shaped pieces of shallot.

Set vegetables aside.

Draft your decorations

Lay out all your decorations on your counter or another baking sheet before you get started. This will help you know if you have enough decorations before you get started.

*It’s very important to start with the right frame and layout before adding all your other decorations.*

*Place the largest, most critical elements first then start adding supplemental items to fill in the blanks.*

Start decorating

Start decorating by building your frame out of chives, this will help you keep everything centered. Gently press the chives into the dough to keep them in place.
After the frame is in place, add all of your vines leading to where flowers will be. To keep the vines in the curves of your frame, try overlapping them.
Add your salami roses, pressing down into the flat area (where the glass lip was) to adhere them to the focaccia dough
Add your shallots as tulips
Add your tomatoes as rosehips
Pair the sliced garlic in half around the edges of the frame as decorative elements
Make the salt brine by mixing the remaining salt and water together in a bowl. Pour the salt brine on top of the dough, doing your best to distribute it evenly.

Bake

Bake for 30 minutes until golden brown.

Leave to cool in the baking pan for 10 minutes, the residual heat will continue to crisp the edges and allow the bread proteins to settle (as with any bread, if you cut into it too early the texture may become gummy).

If the edges are stuck to your pan, use an offset spatula to separate from the pan and move to a wire rack to cool.

Fry basil

The basil is added after baking so that it stays beautiful. If you try to bake it it will burn.

Heat the olive oil in a medium pan until shimmering, but not smoking. Throw in your basil. Your basil needs to be very dry or it will sputter and splash. If your oil is hot enough the basil will immediately begin to fry and within 30 seconds become a vivid green with the texture of stained glass. If your basil turns brown the oil is too hot. Remove it to a rack or clean kitchen towel.

Fried basil looks beautiful, tastes amazing, and is shatteringly crisp – making for a great eating experience. Place the fried basil leaves around the flowers.

Assuming your oil doesn’t reach its smoke point, you can also use this basil oil in other applications (even as a base for the garlic oil!).

Serve

Serve warm. It’s best fresh.

Healing our relationship with the Earth

Sat, 22 Apr 2023 12:00:00 +0000

This email discusses domestic abuse and alcoholism, if that’s something you can’t read right now please skip this email.

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Our relationship with Earth

Today is Earth day – a celebration of this planet we all share. Our relationship with Earth is at risk. As society has grown, we’ve made choices that put society’s needs for control and power over those of the planet, over animals, land, water, and atmosphere. Earth is becoming chaotic in response. And without putting in the work to fix our own behaviours, the Earth will not have a relationship with us.

The planet will be here long after we are gone. But we can’t exist without the Earth.

As I think about how to discuss climate change and our relationship to the Earth, I’ve been thinking about the tone of this newsletter. I think the trend across my pieces is emotional eating – connecting our emotions to the food system. Which means today I’m going to share some intimate details of my life to help connect the dots across climate change, farming, and why we eat.

This is difficult for me to discuss in public.

Five years ago I was living with someone I thought loved me – who physically assaulted me in my home on several occasions. The first time he hit me, he smashed my head into a plaster wall, giving me a concussion. The last time, 10 months later, he attacked me in a way that led me to calling the police in the middle of the night. While he lived with me he drank a 12-pack of beer (tall boy cans!) every single day. Some big red flags.

You’re probably thinking about how horrible and unacceptable that is. You’re probably asking why I didn’t leave after I got a concussion. You might even question how someone like me, who seems smart, successful, put together, and self aware can stay in that kind of relationship.

But I was raised in a chaotic house where screaming matches meant you were loved. A flip flop to the face was European parenting, not child abuse. Threats were how you created compliance. “Don’t make me get the wooden spoon.”

So I told myself that this kind of toxic relationship was normal. These are the lies you tell yourself when you don’t want to face a hard truth – because leaving a bad relationship, changing the status quo, is hard work.

I’ve spent the last 4 years working with a relational psychotherapist, who has changed my entire view of myself and my relationships. Re-learning everything you thought you knew about yourself is hard.

Confronting the gap between who you are and the person you want to be is the hardest thing of all.

After that it’s just work.

I’m sharing this very difficult, deeply personal topic because we are in the same situation with the Earth. “The temperature is too hot” – literally, but it’s also true for how we discuss the climate crisis.

I’m going to try to share how our current food system is abusive, how that abuse has been normalized like a flip flop thrown at you by your mother, and then show the hard work we need to do if we want to continue to have a relationship with the Earth.

The Earth does not need us, but we need the Earth. It will spin madly on, long after we’re gone, long after we’ve taken all life from it. The Earth will move on, as it did from the dinosaurs, and learn to live again.

To keep our relationship with the Earth we must look inward. We must ask hard questions. We must do the work.

And we can do hard things.

What is regenerative farming?

Regenerative farming takes a multi-stakeholder approach, where the animals, the environment, the farmers, society, and profits all have voice. Animal welfare certification and organic certifications are common. Regenerative farming is returning to old practices that indigenous peoples have been using for thousands of years, focusing on the stewardship of the land.

It might sound fluffy and vague, but it really means that we’re going to do the work to rebuild the soil through better farming practices, without carrying the abusive practices from previous farming techniques forward.

Generally, regenerative farming works by integrating the landscape ecology with the specific types of plants and animals being raised.

Silvopasture, where trees and animals are raised together – such as pigs in an orchard
Argoforestry, where trees and plants are farmed together – such as beans and almonds
Managed pasture, where grasslands and animals are raised together – such as cattle (or the story of chickens I shared last week)

These farming styles are generally used with environmentally-beneficial farming techniques like:

No-till farming – tilling is responsible for soil erosion and compaction, which quite literally destroy the Earth. No tilling helps maintain the Earth.
Rotational cropping, where crops are moved to new locations each year and replaced with a synergistic crop – such as beans, which fix nitrogen, and tomatoes, which consume it. This helps rebuild instead of deplete the soil.
Managed grazing, where animals are moved each day so as not to completely destroy the root systems of pasture. This helps plants create deep, robust root systems that can retain water, withstand flooding and drought, and store carbon in the earth.
Permaculture, where perennials are used to ensure deep root and healthy soil systems that are enduring.
Cover cropping, which means the soil is never left barren and exposed to the elements where it can be lost to wind and water.
Composting, where leftover plant materials and animal feces are re-integrated into the soil system to enrich the quality of the soil and feed the natural fungus, bacteria, and creatures that live in the soil to make it healthy.

There are even new crops in development to help foster deeper root systems through multi-year harvest, such as the biennial Kernza. Kernza is a type of wheat that creates grains in its second year. It’s more land intensive than traditional wheat, but it creates deep root systems – as much as 4 feet deep – compared to 6-12” for winter wheat. But with half the yield the cost is much higher.

This type of farming focuses on ending the cycle of abuse to move towards a healthy relationship with our planet.

Ending animal abuse

Last week I wrote about my experience on a regenerative chicken farm – where the chickens live great lives outdoors, with only one bad day.

Unfortunately, most chicken farms fall under what’s called “conventional” or “industrial” chicken farming – with chickens living in cramped quarters, without natural light, with poor ventilation, burning their bodies as they sit in their own feces. If you would like to confront the truth, watch The True Cost of Cheap Chicken from the New York Times.

Animal abuse is rampant – in the dairy industry calves are forcibly separated from their mothers – who are forcibly impregnated. This means the producer gets more milk.

The snap judgment, and only one of many possible solutions to this abuse, is moving the entire world to a vegan diet. Completely removing animals from the abuse of humanity in the food chain. This would be like me saying I will never date again. In fact, I recently told my dad that I’m dating again and he said “that’s not a safe thing for you to do.” It’s nice that he cares, but I think we all see the flaws in his logic.

Removing animals from the food system has an extremely large cost to society:

Consider the economic size and employment impact of the meat industry – in the US, livestock agriculture is a $164B industry, with 2.1M people employed, and over 30% of those in livestock specifically. While farming is only 0.7% of GDP, value added services built on farming – like restaurants and food businesses, contribute 5.4% and $1.2T to GDP. There are a lot of jobs riding on this.
In the US, 70% of beef production and 60% of poultry production is controlled by 4 companies, so without changing how political lobbying is done it will be very difficult to change the regulatory environment. Difficult is not impossible. And please by directly from independent farmers.
The social, cultural, and religious practices that surround meat are very difficult to change creating large human costs through social relationships
Around 30% of land suited to pasture and isn’t suited to crops. Animals are the best form of agriculture to rebuild that type of land and fix carbon in the Earth.

There’s a better solution here – it’s rebalancing the stakeholders who matter in farming. Conventional farming relies on shareholder capitalism. In regenerative farming, the animals, the land, and the farmers have as much stake as the investors.

This leads to certification programs, like Animal Welfare Certification, which requires animals have the five freedoms.

Freedom from Hunger and Thirst
Freedom from Discomfort
Freedom from Pain, Injury or Disease
Freedom to Express Normal Behavior
Freedom from Fear and Distress

This creates living conditions like I witnessed when I took care of Provenance Farms – happy chickens, living their best lives. If you met a human who said they lived a full life with only one bad day, I think you would say they were doing pretty great.

For the dairy industry, animal welfare certified farms like St. Brigid’s Creamery focus on natural weaning of calves – instead of traumatizing the animals (they are animal welfare certified by A Greener World, you can read what that means here). Practices like naturally weaning calves means the farm produces less milk, which means less butter, which means more expensive butter. But happier cows produce better tasting milk, which means better cheese and butter.

Ending land abuse

According to the World Economic Fund, without a change to farming practices we run the risk of running out of soil in 50 years.

Monoculture, or constantly farming the same crops leads to nutrient degradation. To get the same performance from soil, we pump it full of fossil-fuel based nitrogen fertilizers. Most of that fertilizer runs off into our water systems – the soil can’t retain it, as it’s been compacted and eroded from tilling with heavy machinery to farm at scale. The root systems are destroyed every year.

Land not suited to crops is being razed. Waterways are being replaced with concrete so that we can direct water farms in deserts. This is creating water issues for farms and adjacent cities. Pesticides are being used to increase yield. And global warming is causing historically successful crops to fail – due to drought, due to too much water, too much heat, or not enough. It’s become unpredictable.

Almost all of this can be solved through regenerative farming practices, like integrating beans with almond trees. The beans fix nitrogen into the soil, reducing the need for fossil-fuel based fertilizers. The beans build root systems that retain water, reducing the need for complicated irrigation systems. The trees provide shade, wind, and pest protection for the beans.

It’s more complicated farming with more manual labour, but it’s just work.

Ending water system abuse

Water systems are at huge risk due to climate change – we are facing unprecedented waves of drought and flooding. We have broken the Earth’s ability to self regulate through destroying root systems and ocean reefs. Fertilizer runoff creates algae blooms that destroy entire water ecosystems.

Water rights are also problematic. Arizona is a desert, but due to water rights, 70% of the Colorado River’s water is being used to grow alfalfa, for “grass fed” cattle on the other side of the world. The connection from water to grass to cow is broken in this model. This is the difference between “grass fed” and regeneratively farmed. In regenerative farming, like managed grazing, the cows are integrated into the landscape that rebuilds the Earth.

The deep root systems made by regenerative farming help hold ground water. In drought, it’s available to rise up. In a flood, the soil can hold more inside itself – rather than flooding over the surface. Root systems keep the soil intact, instead of it washing away in mudslides.

Using land appropriately means we do not need to artificially modify water systems.

Ending atmosphere abuse

The atmosphere is being abused by every industry – energy, transportation, manufacture, and yes agriculture – agriculture is around 10–15% of carbon emissions. Changes to agriculture like regenerative farming can turn it from a polluter to a carbon remover.

Think about regenerative farming like a partner in deep therapy. They are putting in the work. Carbon neutral systems are like self regulation, you are no longer imposing your negative actions on your partner. Carbon negative systems are like healthy, supportive partners, who give you space and support to be your best self.

A lot of the discussion on how to fix the atmosphere is very heated, in a black-and-white thinking sort of way. “Anyone who eats animals is against the planet.” Is a type of broken thinking, like me saying “I can’t date anyone who drinks.” This isn’t a boundary, it’s a value judgment, and one that ignores the social and cultural costs of not meeting people where they are. It makes people feel terrible and it doesn’t move the conversation forward.

To break down the agricultural impact on the atmosphere we need to discuss 3 greenhouse gasses, each with different impacts, drivers, and solutions. I’m going to use cattle as a demonstration of this, but it can apply to animal and non-animal farming.

For example, is carbon-neutral, animal welfare certified, regenerative cattle farming on prairie land better than monoculture soy farming with fossil-fuel based nitrogen fertilizers in land that used to be a forest? Of course it is. But that requires a nuanced conversation, not “animals bad, plants good.”

Don’t get me wrong – I’m here for a plant-forward diet. We should all eat more plants and plant-proteins, like beans. They are good for us. They are good for Earth. They taste amazing. They are affordable.

But a vegan diet is not the only solution, nor is it socially, economically, or culturally available to everyone. Including the fact that most people simply don’t know how to do this type of cooking. We need to “yes, and…” our way out of this problem instead of shaming people for not being where you want them to be.

Regenerative agriculture at scale could remove 10% of atmospheric carbon dioxide over the next 25 years, and over the long term completely neutralize all human activity carbon emissions.

Carbon

The large carbon contribution from cattle is how cattle is raised – forests are being torn down to grow corn and soy to feed cattle. Cattle aren’t suited to eating corn and soy, so they create more methane. The cut down forests add carbon to the atmosphere. The chemically intensive monoculture for feed creates nitrogen waste. Transporting beef around the world has a carbon impact.

Regenerative farms focus on integrated grazing, pastured animals like cattle into natural environments where they can eat grass – a food they are designed to digest as ruminants. These pastures, grasslands, account for 30% of Earth’s farmland. Grasslands aren’t suitable for many other crops, so grazing animals are a great use for that land. Grazing on grasslands helps fix carbon in the earth.

Nitrogen

Nitrous oxide is a potent greenhouse gas – it traps 300x more heat than carbon dioxide, depletes the ozone layer, and lasts for 100 years in the atmosphere (compared to 300–1,000 years for carbon dioxide, and 12 years for methane).

6.2% of greenhouse gas emissions from the US are from nitrous oxide. 77% of nitrous oxide pollution comes from the agriculture industry. Much of this is due to the overuse of fossil-fuel based chemical fertilizers. These are used in crop agriculture (whether for humans or animals).

Moving to organic agriculture and regenerative farming is a must. We have the tools to do this already. To be certified organic, farmers must be chemical-free for 3 years. This requires changing farming practices, increasing labour costs, increasing documentation – and all of this burden rests on the farmer for 3 years before they can see the revenue benefits of being an organic farm. Farming is already a low-margin business. Why take that risk on your livelihood?

Farming subsidies must move to supporting farmers transitioning to organic and regenerative practices to incentivize them through the transition period. Whether we have a future with animal agriculture or not, this change needs to happen.

Methane

Methane is a problematic greenhouse gas, and the main focus of evaluating whether we should have a cattle industry. It’s more 25x stronger at trapping heatl than carbon dioxide, but it only lasts 12 years in the atmosphere. Methane is a natural, manageable part of life. You make methane. Cows make methane. We need a plan for methane.

Methane accounts for around 12% of US greenhouse gas emissions, and of that the agriculture industry is responsible for 34% of methane (4% of total greenhouse gasses). Yes we should fix the agriculture methane problem – but 96% of the problem will still be there if all of the cows were gone tomorrow.

This paper discusses the impact of different grazing strategies for regenerative farms to remove carbon, but concludes that methane remains a problem. Recent research has been focused on how seaweed enzymes (like our dear friend alpha-d-galctosidase helping take the farts out of beans) can help reduce cattle methane emissions by over 80%. More studies are needed, and Governments should fund this type of research. Combined with regenerative grazing and animal welfare, this could potentially lead to a cattle industry that resolves most of the key issues for it to be sustainable.

People are going to continue to desire and eat beef, milk, cheese, and butter. Moving to a healthier relationship with how cattle impacts the environment is an easier ask. Subsidizing a path to regenerative farming for prairie lands, instead of subsidizing corn and soy to feed cows (which they can’t digest so it makes them produce more methane) is a better use of capital.

The solutions here are a “yes, and…” Yes, we should reduce meat consumption AND we should improve how we farm animals. If the facts of the UC Davis study on seaweed can scale, that’s a solution we can implement in years, not decades. Changing the global diet and changing an industry worth over 5% of GDP is going to take generations of multi-government cooperation, if it’s even achievable.

We should do both. We should have multiple plans. And if they all work, great. But we only need one of them to work.

Just do the next right thing

In relationships, it can be hard to believe that things will be okay, particularly if you’ve been raised in an environment where it never was. Attachment theory is the study of this, such as identifying what causes anxious attachment or avoidant attachment.

If you spend any time online you’ll see a lot of people in emotional responses from flooded nervous systems. They live in anxiety and fear about losing our relationship with the Earth.

Everything is broken, so why try? No one wants to put in the work, the adults in the room aren’t showing up. Why would you bring a child into this world when the world is going to leave you anyway?

It’s easy to spin each other up. It’s easy to be anxious. It’s easy to be scared. It’s easy to stick your head in the sand.

But here’s the thing – we can do this. John Doerr’s excellent book Speed and Scale provides a roadmap for this, it’s incredibly enraging and inspiring. TheCarbon Almanac is also great.

And we have done this before. We fixed the hole in the ozone layer.

Yes, we have got a lot of really hard work to do. But it’s work we can only do that work together.

Turning down the temperature

Politically we’re in a deep crisis of polarization. There are climate change deniers, whether their denial is a performance for political points or self delusion doesn’t really matter. There are climate activists, who are very well intentioned and are moving the conversation forward, but we are missing moderate voices to bring the massive amount of people in the middle towards solutions.

However well intentioned climate activists are, sometimes it can feel like the equivalent of me shouting “YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC!” at my ex at 3am. Not my best moment.

Was I right? Yes.

Did my ex know he’s an alcoholic? Probably, but denial is a powerful drug. It’s a lot easier to blame everyone else.

Did me shouting it help us move to a place of healing so he could get treatment for an addiction and solve the problem? Absolutely not. It ended with me calling the police.

Often the advice on helping people move past issues they don’t want to face is to use gentler questioning. It’s a softer way to help people shift their perspective. It’s less cathartic than fighting with your Trump supporting uncle at Thanksgiving – but is the goal to heal our relationship with the Earth, or to feel like you won from your high horse?

Reframe the conversation when the temperature gets too hot:

Instead of “Climate change is real, just look at the weather!” Try “Have you noticed how unpredictable the weather patterns are?”
Instead of “Eating animals is cruel and you’re supporting animal cruelty!” Try “Have you heard about these happy chickens that live outside?”
Instead of “The world is going to end if we don’t change!” Try “What’s your relationship with the Earth like? What do you think the Earth needs from us?”

Shifting your thoughts shifts your actions.

Progress, not perfection

The first couple of months I was in therapy I spent trying to figure out what I could have done better to make my ex stop hitting me and stop drinking. It was the classic “If only I didn’t have needs he wouldn’t have hit me” self blame.

The work I needed to do was learning to recognize toxic and healthy relationships are different. That I need to leave toxic relationships. I need to invest in healthy relationships. And I need to forgive myself when I confuse the two and treat a healthy relationship with mistrust.

I’m still working on accepting that I don’t need to be perfect, something I’ve struggled with my whole life. I’m not perfect, that is very clear. Perfect is unattainable. But I hold myself to such a high standard that it becomes paralyzing when I make a mistake.

I think many people get paralyzed when the discussion of climate change and food intersect.

These discussions are difficult because they can cause a lot of feelings of guilt and shame in people. I like meat and cheese and eggs and butter – does that make me an Earth hating bad person, willing to take what I need but not give Earth any space?

No. But if you want to continue to eat meat, cheese, eggs, and butter, it’s worth considering the impact it has on Earth. It’s worth considering if you can change the products you buy, if you have the space in your life to put in the work. It’s difficult to change your diet. It’s difficult to change where you shop. It’s even harder to do that when you have a partner or kids or a busy job.

Can’t I just buy a cheap Costco chicken and not think about the life it lived?

Sure, of course you can. The status quo is easy, as fucked up as it is, it is easier to continue living in an abusive situation than to leave one. That’s why I stayed with my ex for so long. That’s why you’re probably going to go to Costco after reading this. But eventually you’ll have space to make a different decision. I’ll wait without judgement while you find that space.

Changing how you approach food is like doing deep therapy. It requires you to confront what you thought you knew, likely since you were a child. It requires you to learn new skills, you’ve probably never made good tasting beans before, or considered how cabbage can be a main course. And you’re probably going to mess up those recipes the first few times because you have literally never made them before. Changing your approach to food requires doing what’s hard, instead of what’s easy, because you want to have a healthy relationship.

I’m learning to accept that I don’t need to be the perfect man to be in a healthy relationship, but I do need to choose to be a better man with the capacity I have. I have to do that work. So does doing 85% of the work buy us more time, to figure out that really hard last 15%? Yes. But waiting until we can do 100% of the work means we will never do the work, it’s an excuse to stay comfortable – and assume the broken systems will never be fixed. Which means you can still buy chicken at Costco.

85% moves us from existential crisis to solvable crisis. Of course there is still work to be done. Politically this gets decried as sacrificing the big picture and not doing enough, but incremental change has compounding benefits. If we would have even done 30% of the work in the 90s, we’d be in better shape today.

Looking inward

Everyone has a lot going on right now and not everyone can do the work. The advice below is for people who have the space – financially, emotionally, with their children’s behaviours, with physical access in their communities.

If you can’t do this right now, that’s okay. If you read Speed & Scale you’ll see these are fundamentally Government, Regulatory, and Industry problems that require global solutions. Changing how you shop is great, but voting is what will save our relationship with the Earth.

Change how you buy meat, eggs, and dairy

Shopping is an immediate place you can make a change, but it’s going to hurt your wallet and might require you to go to new stores.

Look for regeneratively raised, animal welfare certified meat, chicken, eggs, and dairy products. Failing that, opt for organic.

If you’re local to me, in Kitchener-Waterloo, you should consider:

Chicken and eggs from Provenance Farms (available online for delivery to KW)
Beef, salami, and pepperettes from Rogers Ranch (at the Kitchener Market)
Pork, sausage, and bacon from McIntosh farms (at Legacy Greens)
Butter from St. Brigid’s Creamery (available online for delivery to KW and at Rogers Ranch at the Kichener Market)
Fore Quarter Butcher Shop also works directly with independent farmers, so you can ask them directly where each product is sourced
I haven’t found a regenerative milk, yogurt, or cheese vendor yet so if you know of one let me know!
And for produce this year I am subscribing to Lucky Bug’s CSA

You can make this change tomorrow. However, if meat costs more it might mean you need to eat less to keep your food budget flat.

Less meat, not meatless

I don’t buy into the technocratic solutions for plant-based meat alternatives, like lab-grown meat and chemically processed meat alternatives. Maybe they will work, but betting our future that these can scale without causing environmental or health consequences is a bad bed. We need multiple bets. Plant-based milk can either be really great (like Elmhurst 1925) or filled with chemical thickeners (like Silk).

Rather than no meat, it’s easier to eat less meat. This requires you to learn new recipes and new skills.

Start by getting one meal with less meat. Try that for 3 months. I have recipes for beans, Spring is a great time to explore veggies. Treat it as an opportunity to learn a new skill. It’s one meal a week, you can do that.

As you find success with that you can look to scale up the number of days. But going from 7 days a week to 0 days a week is hard and unsustainable for most people.

Activism and Politics

Activism is a broad spectrum – not everyone can be Greta, who is pushing us all to talk about this in very powerful ways, but you can be an activist in your daily life. Try to do the work of not lecturing (nobody likes a lecture). Instead, have a conversation with your friends and family. Demonstrate the healthy relationship we should have with the Earth with your own actions (without being a holier-than-thou asshole pouting in the corner).

This newsletter is activism. I took friends to the farmer’s market this morning and explained why Rogers Ranch makes the best summer sausage – because the cows are happy!

Food is political.

For politics, you need to vote in every election. 98% of the carbon we need to remove from the atmosphere can only be regulated away through Government interventions and funding. Beating yourself up because you ate a steak, like butter, or just don’t like cashew cheese is fairly inconsequential if you didn’t vote.

Register to vote. Help others register to vote. Remind people to vote. Drive them to the voting station. Do it locally, to fix recycling and compost systems. Do it at the state/province level, California and Florida are case studies proof of the impact that can have. Do it Federally.

Every single election matters.

Vote like your relationship with our planet depends on it, because it does.

In addition, you can work with your congressperson or member of parliament to create a petition for change. You can write letters. You can provide research.

After I wrote my newsletter on grocery prices I had the opportunity to meet with my member of Parliament, Mike Morrice, to share what I would like to see him act on as it relates to our food system. There are great politicians who want to do the right thing. Help them do it.

Focus your outrage here and not at each other.

We can do this

The Earth needs time to heal if we’re going to have a relationship with it. We can give it time.

We just need to put in the work.

I’ve never been afraid of work.

And I don’t think you are, either.